Interesting Situation

[Cavalier]

Hey team! I matched with a girl on a dating app. We immediately hit it off and had great chemistry over text. I met her for drinks last night and immediately realized that she looked nothing like her pictures (not as slim). I was respectful and we hung out for about 2 hours. I paid for everything and wished her a good night. She texted me today expressing interest in a second date. I was honest with her and told her that I did not feel a connection. Here is where things get interesting. She initially sends a text thanking me for my honesty. She then goes on to be more direct and specifically asks if it was because of her physical appearance. What would you guys do? I don't believe in ghosting and always thank people for taking the time to meet with me, etc. Even if the date does not work out, it's fun to just meet people. I am just not sure how honest I should be here.

 

[member160292]

How big we talking about here? Would it be banging a sofa cushion or a tractor tire?

It seems like you guys hit it off if you spent 2 hours with her.

 

[Cavalier]

How big we talking about here? Would it be banging a sofa cushion or a tractor tire?

It seems like you guys hit it off if you spent 2 hours with her.

She was obese. Her pictures showed someone who was quite fit.

 

[member160292]

Oh jeez, I got a first date tonight after getting catfished last night. I should have not entered this thread.

 

[Serenity]

If you're not interested I don't see how your level of honesty even matters. Just tell her you found her pictures deceptive and not a fair representation of reality if you want to.

Personally, I probably wouldn't care, never respond and move on. If I happen to feel like seeing what happens, then I'd give her the brutal honesty she seeks, if only for entertainment.

 

[dogsta]

I don't think it really matters - I agree with Serenity.

You can either tell her what she wants to hear, or tell her the truth.

Oh jeez, I got a first date tonight after getting catfished last night. I should have not entered this thread.

Hah-hah. Made me laugh. I gave up on dating apps a good few years ago. The cat-fishing was on insane levels and far too frequent for my tastes. I had to give them credit, they really do know how angles work. And with all the filters nowadays - no thanks. In person all the way is how I play.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I would just be polite and say “It’s just chemistry. I didn’t feel that spark that’s necessary to pursue a relationship. You’re a great gal and I wish you all the best.”

That’s just me. If they’re nice, I let them down gently. If she was a b!tch or had an ugly personality, I’d be more brutally honest.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You owed her nothing for being lied to. Why did you waste two hours of your time for a date you knew was going nowhere?

Time is the most important thing all of us have. Stop tolerating people who waste it.

And then paying for it on top of that? The date would have ended for me before we even walked in.

 

[threeforfree]

I'd have turned around and walked out if someone misrepresented themselves like that. And told them why, as I was leaving. Two hours?? She didn't deserve two minutes. You validated her fraud and she'll continue to do so.

 

[Dr.Suave]

She then goes on to be more direct and specifically asks if it was because of her physical appearance.

Just be honest. Say something like "Yes. Sorry, you just didnt pass the boner test" but with nicer words.

 

[bat soup]

Hey team! I matched with a girl on a dating app. We immediately hit it off and had great chemistry over text. I met her for drinks last night and immediately realized that she looked nothing like her pictures (not as slim). I was respectful and we hung out for about 2 hours. I paid for everything and wished her a good night. She texted me today expressing interest in a second date. I was honest with her and told her that I did not feel a connection. Here is where things get interesting. She initially sends a text thanking me for my honesty. She then goes on to be more direct and specifically asks if it was because of her physical appearance. What would you guys do? I don't believe in ghosting and always thank people for taking the time to meet with me, etc. Even if the date does not work out, it's fun to just meet people. I am just not sure how honest I should be here.

Personally, I don´t give a fçuk about chemistry over text. I want to meet up and if that´s not happening then I don't want to waste my time chatting.

Secondly, I´m not going to hang out with women that I don't find attractive. I'm certainly not going to pay for her night out. As far as I'm concerned, by being deceptive she just wasted my time and I don't appreciate it.

Somehow women seem to think that if they can make an emotional connection with a man, he'll overlook the fact that they look like sh!t. That's because women's brains sometimes do work like that and they assume men are the same. But actually a woman needs to be attractive in order for a man feel any emotion towards her whatsoever.

As for your question, I'd just block her already, before she gets butthurt and reports you on Tinder.

 

[The Duke]

I would tell her she misrepresented her physical self and therefore wasted your time. Call them out on their crap. By tolerating "fraud" you send a message that its ok. Guys need to stop worrying about a chics feelings so much.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I don't think it really matters - I agree with Serenity.

You can either tell her what she wants to hear, or tell her the truth.



Hah-hah. Made me laugh. I gave up on dating apps a good few years ago. The cat-fishing was on insane levels and far too frequent for my tastes. I had to give them credit, they really do know how angles work. And with all the filters nowadays - no thanks. In person all the way is how I play.

95% of the time guys get Catfished it's due to poor screening on their part.