Thoughts on Women Who Own Homes

[SW15]

Since @Jake_Gyllenhaal69 decides to post about dog owners, I've decided to post about women who own their own homes.

Many years ago, when I had more interest in eventually moving in with a woman or possibly even getting married, I did not like interacting with never married, childless women who had already bought their own homes. To me, when I saw that, it seemed like the woman was giving off a feminist vibe about being Strong & Independent ™ .

In previous eras (prior to 1990 or so), women didn't buy homes when they single and childless. They went from their parents' house to their husband's place. Often times, the husband was a renter and then bought a house when he got married. In the 1970s-1990s, people were renters and then bought houses together as a married couple.

As people have postponed marriage later in life, a more common scenario is a single, childless woman who is a homeowner. Single women are more likely to be homeowners than single men. In the past, I didn't like the possibility of moving into a woman's owned home that she picked out before we met. In that way, I'd be a "housing cuck". Now, since I am less interested in moving into a woman's place or marriage, I'm less bothered by women who own homes despite never being married and childless but I still see it as a sign of being a less feminine, pro-feminist woman, You Go Girl™ type woman.

I don't typically interact with the @BeExcellent type of homeowner, a divorced woman with kids. I do once recall being on a date with a divorced woman with no kids who was a homeowner.

I have observed some other later in life couples where both parties were homeowners and got married. One of them had to sell a home. That's a pain to do.

 

[BeExcellent]

My youngest sister is similar to myself. She is a homeowner (bought her home by herself post divorce in the area where we grew up). Like me she makes a solid six figure income and she is attractive in her mid forties.

She has two children who she has primary custody of and she keeps getting offers to be a VP of a large company (which she so far has declined because her focus is child rearing.) She works from home and is financially self sufficient as I am.

It’s interesting this thread. You really kinda seem to want it both ways. You don’t want a woman depending on you for financial support or resources, and you see financially self sufficient women as feminist types (do you don’t want them either). My sister and I are anything but feminist types where men are concerned, but neither one of us is sitting around waiting to be rescued by some guy either.

I mean homeowners over time accumulate more wealth than non homeowners. Homeowners also have greater economic stability and security. Homeowners are more likely to have their act together in life and I cannot fathom how that is a negative. You can have “go girl” feminist types who are NOT homeowners.

This is a ridiculously false correlation in my mind.

Now I fully get that you guys might see children still at home as a negative. I can tell you that has never impeded my options at all, I think it does affect my sister to a greater degree. Her children are considerably younger than mine and therefore less self sufficient. She also has a contentious ex husband who will take her back to court for joint or switched custody if he thinks she is being too “social” or if her profession starts to require travel whereas he has been remarried for a number of years (he cheated, left the marriage and married his mistress) which is very different than my first husband who is chill and we basically ignored our divorce decree from the jump. He and I get along well, her ex is still an ass to her at every opportunity. A new beau isn’t going to want to deal with that situation and understandably so. She knows this. So she is focused on building wealth until such time as her social constraints relax.

Just as I have focused on building wealth. That’s what successful people do. No way am I going to be a financial burden to my children. Nope.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

The never married and childless ones are often romantically frustrated due to them being annoying, out of touch and overly entitled, combined with declining looks. They can get dates, not just the ones they want.

 

[BeExcellent]

The never married and childless ones are often romantically frustrated due to them being annoying, out of touch and overly entitled, combined with declining looks. They can get dates, not just the ones they want.

I’d agree more often than not. Really the problem you run into in general with never marrieds, especially late 30s onward is selfishness. Successful LTR or marriages involve compromise and sacrifice. Being a team first and an individual second at times. Children certainly require sacrifice. If a person has not experienced that level of commitment they really DO NOT have a frame of reference and also are less mature. Nothing matures a person faster than having to put another person’s needs ahead of your own. So I believe that is a major contributor.

 

[SW15]

It’s interesting this thread. You really kinda seem to want it both ways. You don’t want a woman depending on you for financial support or resources, and you see financially self sufficient women as feminist types (do you don’t want them either).

5-10 years ago, I had a stronger preference for a female renter over homeowner than I do now. Also, 5-10 years ago, I was more likely to be looking for cohabitation or marriage, though I haven't had a relationship close to either of those outcomes. When you're not looking as much for either cohabitation or marriage, female homeowner status matters less. I still prefer to date a renter now because she'll be more able to identify with my lifestyle as a fellow renter.

My sister and I are anything but feminist types where men are concerned, but neither one of us is sitting around waiting to be rescued by some guy either.

I'm not interacting with women like you or your sister. I did notice in the past on dates that never married, childless women in their late 20s/early 30s who own homes did come off as more feminist and less feminine on dates.

Why does a childless woman who lives alone need a single family or condo? If you live alone, you really don't need more than 1,000 square feet in most cases. Condos are typically over 1,000 square feet. Only really old single family homes are around 1,000 square feet. Most single family homes are 1,500+ square feet.

I mean homeowners over time accumulate more wealth than non homeowners. Homeowners also have greater economic stability and security. Homeowners are more likely to have their act together in life and I cannot fathom how that is a negative. You can have “go girl” feminist types who are NOT homeowners.

This is a ridiculously false correlation in my mind.

It's often the attitude. I've noticed some bad attitudes.

Years ago, I went out with one woman from a swipe app who was a homeowner and she was super boring. I had nothing in common with her. Her dog and her house were her primary interests. She would have been super boring even as a renter too. However, a quick glance at her social media shows multiple instances of feminist tripe on it. I don't follow her on social media, she has a public account.

Childless homeowner females give off an "I Don't Need a Man" vibe.

Also, that woman I just mentioned is perpetually single. She might get occasional penis, but that's it.

 

[BeExcellent]

That’s fair. But I still think it’s a false correlation. There is always a reason people are perpetually single. It is never a good reason unless they are a priest, nun or widow.

 

[SW15]

The never married and childless ones are often romantically frustrated due to them being annoying, out of touch and overly entitled, combined with declining looks. They can get dates, not just the ones they want.

That's a really bad combination. I would say that combination would be common in 30-44 year old never married, childless female homeowners.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Considering how expensive homes are in Australia, it would be really impressive for a woman my age to own her own home unless she has wealthy parents

 

[SW15]

Considering how expensive homes are in Australia, it would be really impressive for a woman my age to own her own home unless she has wealthy parents

In the United States, median age of a first time homebuyer is 33.

The Median Homebuyer Age Is Getting Older: We Better Live Longer!

The median homebuyer age in America is getting older and older each year. Higher home prices and higher mortgage rates are pushing the median homebuyer age up. The median age of first-time homebuyers is now 35. This is the oldest age on record dating back to 1981, according to the National...

www.financialsamurai.com

 

[lost_blackbird]

That’s fair. But I still think it’s a false correlation. There is always a reason people are perpetually single. It is never a good reason unless they are a priest, nun or widow.

Just those three huh? Okay.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I am incredibly turned off by women with advanced degrees, professional careers, and "homeowners". Women cannot usually become that successful without sacrificing their femininity to some degree. Or in most cases all it does is make them more entititled and arrogant.

Also, in 99% of these cases, they're not homeowners, their banks are.

 

[SW15]

I am incredibly turned off by women with advanced degrees, professional careers, and "homeowners". Women cannot usually become that successful without sacrificing their femininity to some degree. Or in most cases all it does is make them more entititled and arrogant.

There's a lot of overlap between advanced degrees, professional careers, and homeowners. I prefer women with no more than a bachelor's degree from a not elite university. I proceed with caution with advanced degrees.

I have noticed entitlement and arrogance in those 3 frequently overlapping subgroups.

Also, in 99% of these cases, they're not homeowners, their banks are.

Yes, that's true.

Even though Adam Conover is a bit of a soy boy, he has a legitimate point here. The bank/financial institution isn't much different than paying a landlord. At least when you rent, the landlord fixes stuff. In a mortgage, you are paying rent to the bank and they're not fixing your plumbing or HVAC.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

There's a lot of overlap between advanced degrees, professional careers, and homeowners. I prefer women with no more than a bachelor's degree from a not elite university. I proceed with caution with advanced degrees.

I have noticed entitlement and arrogance in those 3 frequently overlapping subgroups.



Yes, that's true.

Even though Adam Conover is a bit of a soy boy, he has a legitimate point here. The bank/financial institution isn't much different than paying a landlord. At least when you rent, the landlord fixes stuff. In a mortgage, you are paying rent to the bank and they're not fixing your plumbing or HVAC.

Yeah, he's right about financial/work related things without a doubt.

Not to hijack this topic but it's absolutely truth. Rent where you live and rent out what you own. Buying a house is not necessarily an investment. People insist the housing market always goes up; not only is this untrue, but it's moot - even if your home does increase in value, there are numerous sunk costs associated. Sunk costs includes: property tax, mortgage interest, maintenance, HOA fees, insurance, then of course the realtor/banking/cleaning fees when you sell it. Even if your property value 2xs, the funny thing is the longer you live there the more sunk costs you've paid over time which brings the question of whether or not you've actually made a net profit.

This isn't to say you shouldn't own a house, in some cases it may be wise idea; every financial situation is different. But to insist that owning a home is a gold standard of one's success and financial position is laughable.

 

[BeExcellent]

So how many here are free & clear on your residence? My guess is a few (and could guess who & one or two I know who….) and many are renters. Many also have mortgages.

No offense @SW15 (and you are not in my demographic for dating either, you are far too young)…but you seem to be grasping at whatever reason to disqualify chicks. Look. Sexual strategy (short term, long term etc.) aside you appear only to be looking for the impossible. I certainly think having high standards is great (obviously I do) but you seem to have become more jaded over time whereas others are finding success over time.

Homeowner status to DQ? In so doing you are disqualifying financially responsible women who either own outright or qualified for a mortgage. Maybe she had a wealthy family (that could be beneficial). I don’t think it matters as an indicator of suitability for dating other than perhaps it is indicative that the chick stacks up better than you financially and that bugs you.

This one is perplexing as a negative.

So if homeowners unsettle you? Date renters. Water always seeks it’s own level….

 

[BeExcellent]

I actually agree with @FlexpertHamilton here. I own dozens of rentals, most are free & clear, but I rent where I reside. On purpose. The central AC broke last month. 12K for a new system. Landlords expense. Not mine. And they put us in a hotel until it was fixed.

My guy doesn’t really grasp why this is smart, but it is.

 

[SW15]

No offense @SW15 (and you are not in my demographic for dating either, you are far too young)…but you seem to be grasping at whatever reason to disqualify chicks. Look. Sexual strategy (short term, long term etc.) aside you appear only to be looking for the impossible. I certainly think having high standards is great (obviously I do) but you seem to have become more jaded over time whereas others are finding success over time.

Homeowner status to DQ? In so doing you are disqualifying financially responsible women who either own outright or qualified for a mortgage. Maybe she had a wealthy family (that could be beneficial). I don’t think it matters as an indicator of suitability for dating other than perhaps it is indicative that the chick stacks up better than you financially and that bugs you.

I never said I disqualify on homeownership status. I said that I have a preference. Women disqualify for far more trifling reasons compared to my own behavior.

I am able to more easily able to relate to renters.

I would vehemently disagree about me being jaded. I completed therapy for the dating and relational trauma I experienced. I would have every legitimate reason to be jaded though based upon the emotional abuse I've received from being in the mating marketplace and not being over 6'0", extremely muscular, or extremely affluent. I have always had some positive points to offer and yet I've been treated like shiit relative to what I offer.

So if homeowners unsettle you? Date renters. Water always seeks it’s own level….

I tend to approach more renters than homeowners based on locales where I do in-person approaches.

 

[member160292]

My ideal date would be someone who is a homeowner or very close to being one. I'm not messing around with someone that has no financial plan.

 

[SW15]

My ideal date would be someone who is a homeowner or very close to being one. I'm not messing around with someone that has no financial plan.

What are your goals? If you want to marry or live with a woman, there's merit in that line of thinking. If you are looking for casual sex or a relationship that doesn't progress to marriage or cohabitation, it matters less. Most of it comes down to attitude.

 

[member160292]

I never said I disqualify on homeownership status. I said that I have a preference. Women disqualify for far more trifling reasons compared to my own behavior.

I am able to more easily able to relate to renters.

Just take a moment and think to yourself why that is...

 

[member160292]

What are your goals? If you want to marry or live with a woman, there's merit in that line of thinking. If you are looking for casual sex or a relationship that doesn't progress to marriage or cohabitation, it matters less. Most of it comes down to attitude.

My goal is to provide generational wealth, retire at 50. In a plate, I'm looking for someone that pulls her own weight - very much similar to BeExcellent. Casual sex will provide its opportunities and I'm not going to be turning it down. However, it's not what I'm looking for in a woman.