How often do you get Second Dates?

[member160292]

About half my first dates have led to further meetings. I'm curious what you are experiencing and if I need to tweak my first date conversations to improve my chances of the second. A benchmark if you will

 

[SW15]

If considering the entirety of my lifetime, well under that 50%. Is a 2nd date a useful metric? Some men just want to "hit it and quit it". Swipe app dates will have a lower 2nd date rate than warm approaching or even stranger approaches. There's a lot more to this conversation but it is a good topic.

 

[member160292]

This would be for first dates that there is no intention of going for the bang.

Of course, you'll know before the date (and during) if there's a real possibility for the bang, but that's much different since the deed is essentially already done.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Less than 50% for sure. Some girls I didnt like enough for more dates and vice versa. But every time a girl has agreed to a second date, shes interested and she going to open her legs for you sooner or later.

 

[EyeBRollin]

My second date percentage was about 80%. A lot of this is recognizing chemistry. If she wasn’t highly interested I would delete her number immediately after the date. No need to even offer a second date.

 

[SW15]

If considering the entirety of my lifetime, well under that 50%.

I have no idea how anyone gets remotely close to a 50% or 80% 2nd date rate. Lifetime, mine has been closer to 10%-15%. Way too many "one date, no sex, no second date" type dates from websites and swipe apps. I did book an impressive volume of dates in earlier eras when swipe apps were a little easier but they've never been easy. In the website era, when OkCupid, PlentyofFish and Match were bigger, if I sent out enough messages, I could arrange enough dates. It was getting to nearly the point of spamming, though I had some selectivity.

I didn't offer a 2nd date in some cases. There were times I didn't offer because while I was still interested to a degree, I doubted it would be accepted. Sometimes, I didn't offer because I had no interest whatsoever. That also lowered my 2nd date. In most of the times where I didn't get second dates, I was still interested in a 2nd date and offered one, only to be rejected or ghosted/flaked on.

Rates of getting 2nd dates have improved in recent years but still noweher near the rates other posters mentioned.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I have no idea how anyone gets remotely close to a 50% or 80% 2nd date rate. Lifetime, mine has been closer to 10%-15%.

You aren’t properly screening for interest.

 

[SW15]

You aren’t properly screening for interest.

That's a fair point. I was unable to effectively screen for interest behind an electronic screen, which is why I exited those options. I have a better chance of screening for that through initial in-person means.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

My second date percentage was about 80%. A lot of this is recognizing chemistry. If she wasn’t highly interested I would delete her number immediately after the date. No need to even offer a second date.

For clarity, I think the metric the OP was using was simply the first date to second date, not what percentage of second dates offered are accepted.

But your point stands. You can get these kinds of percentages by screening for high interest, and also maximizing the connection pre-meet.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I can think of once in the last year that the woman did not want a second date that’s about 5% of women in 12 months.

 

[The Duke]

I'm guessing my 2nd date rate is close to 80%. I think it's because I converse well with women, connect easily, say the right things, fun, tell funny stories, etc. I usually take the girl to more than one place and venue's with great atmosphere. Coffee shop dates aren't my style.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I'd say maybe 10-20% depending on various factors. When I am in great shape it's closer to 20 or even 25. When I am in my worst shape, closer to 10%. When I am in between it's somewhere between those two.

I am strictly talking about when I want to see them again and they choose not to, not ones I am not interested in seeing again.

 

[member160292]

Thanks for the feedback all! I thought I was doing something wrong on the first dates, but it's just a numbers game in the end.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I've met 5 women since June...The fifth one I'm supposed to meet tomorrow, so if she shows up then it would be a 4/5 ratio. 2 of the girls I've already banged, and the other girl ghosted me after the second date lol. The one I didn't meet up for on the second is because she works too much and has ADHD so I was not shocked lol.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I'd say maybe 10-20% depending on various factors. When I am in great shape it's closer to 20 or even 25. When I am in my worst shape, closer to 10%. When I am in between it's somewhere between those two.

I am strictly talking about when I want to see them again and they choose not to, not ones I am not interested in seeing again.

Lol was there a reason to invert the percentages?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Lol was there a reason to invert the percentages?

What do you mean?

 

[member160292]

Just got done with a first date with a bimbo. I’m 100% sure it there wont be a second one. She’s 29 and didn’t have anything figured out. Sweet girl though, we spent about two hours but I lost interest 30 minutes in. I could have matched her level, but it would have made me feel uneasy on the inside.

I was quite in shock and awe by how immature she was for that age. It was a good experience for sure, made me come up with topics to chat up the early 20’s group. Although I know this one isn’t going to lead to anything further, consider it an extra skill that I need to develop and bang much younger chicks

 

[sangheilios]

I have no idea how anyone gets remotely close to a 50% or 80% 2nd date rate. Lifetime, mine has been closer to 10%-15%. Way too many "one date, no sex, no second date" type dates from websites and swipe apps. I did book an impressive volume of dates in earlier eras when swipe apps were a little easier but they've never been easy. In the website era, when OkCupid, PlentyofFish and Match were bigger, if I sent out enough messages, I could arrange enough dates. It was getting to nearly the point of spamming, though I had some selectivity.

I didn't offer a 2nd date in some cases. There were times I didn't offer because while I was still interested to a degree, I doubted it would be accepted. Sometimes, I didn't offer because I had no interest whatsoever. That also lowered my 2nd date. In most of the times where I didn't get second dates, I was still interested in a 2nd date and offered one, only to be rejected or ghosted/flaked on.

Rates of getting 2nd dates have improved in recent years but still noweher near the rates other posters mentioned.

1st dates from OLD sites and apps will have a much lower success rate of leading to 2nd/further dates compared to women that you've met in person. Ghosting, flaking, etc. will be fairly common place even before ever meeting in person.

 

[SmoothHendrixPS2]

Why are you even going on dates with girls you haven't banged? You don't need to tweak anything to get a second date. You need to tweak everything about your mindset. The goal is to smash. You spend your whole first date being vague and ambiguous, having boring small talk and chit chat, you pay for her food and drinks, the whole time she's enjoying your attention and leading you on like you have a chance to hook up with her. Getting a "second date" is a huge L in this case. Women want sex bro, talk to her like she's already your submissive obedient *****. tell her you find her so sexy and attractive that your bulging in your pants. Tell her you can't wait to slide your hard **** in her sweet *****. And then show your confident backbone and frame by staring into her eyes with a devilish grin. This could have been done 90 seconds into your first encounter with her at no cost or time.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Went on a coffee date yesterday with some religious Christian girl. I knew it was the real deal when I had to ask her to speak louder so I could hear her lol. If she wasn’t my type(olive skin, wavy brown hair, glasses) I would’ve next but I’ll let things play out lol.

Got the I don't see this relationship working which makes complete sense to me due to our disparities. Further proof, I look like a fvck boy lol.