Does Displaying High SMV Hurt your Chances?

[member160292]

I normally take my first dates out to a nice bar where I know the staff. They often greet me by name when I enter with the girl. That might have the girl pause and think - wait, how many other chicks has been brought to this place. Now I always tell them during the date that this is where I take my clients, but not sure if that's going to keep that hamster from spinning.

Thoughts?

 

[EyeBRollin]

Now I always tell them during the date that this is where I take my clients, but not sure if that's going to keep that hamster from spinning.

Don’t mention this at all unless she directly asks. You might be overplaying a bit. It comes off as braggadocio. Let the social proof stand on its own.

 

[Bigpapa]

I normally take my first dates out to a nice bar where I know the staff. They often greet me by name when I enter with the girl. That might have the girl pause and think - wait, how many other chicks has been brought to this place. Now I always tell them during the date that this is where I take my clients, but not sure if that's going to keep that hamster from spinning.

Thoughts?

depends how you are . If you are aloof then yes

if you are friendly and so on , no

 

[Modern Man Advice]

I normally take my first dates out to a nice bar where I know the staff. They often greet me by name when I enter with the girl. That might have the girl pause and think - wait, how many other chicks has been brought to this place. Now I always tell them during the date that this is where I take my clients, but not sure if that's going to keep that hamster from spinning.

Thoughts?

I think it's a pretty solid frame. I just hope it is true and you are not pretending to walk on water.

Displaying high SMV can go a few different ways. I've heard from girls I dated whom I've run across randomly and we sort of reminisce on ol' times and that they thought I was a man w***e/player and if I could talk to her with such comfort and make her feel like that then I would do that with any woman and that was a risk for her. A heartbreak waiting to happen, if you will. Women simply do not wanna get hurt.

They want the high-value man without the risks and side effects of being with one. But the same goes for us, we want that HB8+ but we don't want to deal with the attention she will get.

In your case, they will for sure feel intimidated but also aroused and intrigued. All good things. But know that in the back of their mind high SMV means competition which they crave and also makes them run away depending on their level of confidence and self-worth which in most cases is non-existent.


Modern Man Advice

 

[member160292]

Don’t mention this at all unless she directly asks. You might be overplaying a bit. It comes off as braggadocio. Let the social proof stand on its own.

It wasn’t to brag, but trying to diffuse the situation where it might be me taking other chicks there

 

[EyeBRollin]

It wasn’t to brag, but trying to diffuse the situation where it might be me taking other chicks there

No need to diffuse that part. It helps you.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Unless you’re hideous weirdo , girls will assume you’ve dated before. I wouldn’t worry about it.

 

[RangerMIke]

Here is my advice, for what it is worth.

Plan dates to do things you want to do and invite women along. I wouldn't give it any more thought than that. If the wait staff knows you by name, just don't say anything, and if she makes a comment about it (which truth be told likely won't) then just say you like the place and come there a lot. That is all she needs to know.

If she starts pressing and saying something like "I bet you bring all your dates here." Then just joke about it, say "Oh, are you jealous? I like that." Then change the subject, show her a card trick... play darts... pool. Have fun. Don't be so serious about anything dating is supposed to be fun... don't worry about what she may or may not be thinking, just be self-amusing.

 

[Kotaix]

I think you're overthinking this. Who cares if the chick thinks you bring all your dates to this bar, if she's high interest it'll just make her step up her game.

If anything, being a regular at a bar to the point that they know you might make you come off as an alcoholic. But if you don't have a problem, you don't have a problem.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

OP, as long as you have the plausible deniability ("this is where I bring my clients"), you should be good. Saying you've been there for family events works too.

Maybe mention it before the date if the girl is a little on the insecure side.

 

[SW15]

Don’t mention this at all unless she directly asks. Let the social proof stand on its own.

This is the way to do it.

 

[The Duke]

Some will be impressed with it, some won't. Be true to yourself. It serves as a good filter.

But most girls you will score points with.

 

[sangheilios]

I think you're overthinking this. Who cares if the chick thinks you bring all your dates to this bar, if she's high interest it'll just make her step up her game.

If anything, being a regular at a bar to the point that they know you might make you come off as an alcoholic. But if you don't have a problem, you don't have a problem.

I would say being a regular at a bar to the point where they actually recognize you and know your name will not at all look good lol.

 

[zekko]

They want the high-value man without the risks and side effects of being with one. But the same goes for us, we want that HB8+ but we don't want to deal with the attention she will get.

But in the case of the woman, it's her looks that are attracting us, we don't care about the attention she gets, in fact we find it distasteful.
But for guys, it appears that getting attention actually serves to attract women. even if they may be threatened by it.

 

[SW15]

I would say being a regular at a bar to the point where they actually recognize you and know your name will not at all look good lol.

I think it can look really good. That's not easy to achieve in certain bars.

 

[sangheilios]

I think it can look really good. That's not easy to achieve in certain bars.

I can kind of see something like this if you are younger and the club/bar you are at is highly popular, young women that are dumb and clueless would feel that this shows you are "high status". It's like knowing everyone there so you can skip the line to get in, you get special privileges, etc. Personally this would be of no interest or importance to me, though the reality is that there are many people who would be all for it.

 

[Kotaix]

I would say being a regular at a bar to the point where they actually recognize you and know your name will not at all look good lol.

My gf and I were asked if we were regulars at a bar because we were bullsh!tting with the bartender on a first name basis. But it was our first (and only) time there. The person that asked ended up getting free drinks out of it.

I don't really see it as a problem unless the reason for them all knowing you is because you're a lush. I think it speaks very well of your SMV and emotional intelligence to have people in the service industry who treat you with familiarity.