It's 3AM and I'm pissed off...

[BackInTheGame78]

I would say this probably boils down to over pursuing. Initiating too many times, sending out too many texts, always the one asking to meet up. You're told this displays confidence, shows you're assertive, etc. but doesn't take into account that if you're always the one showing interest... what are they showing you?

One thing I have learned from the game is interest has to be expressed on its own. You can't force a woman to do it (unless you're Ted Bundy). What gets a woman's emotions invested is sensing yours are not. They're probably not getting these vibes.

I will give you an example. I recently got a chick's number from a bar. I texted her 3 weeks later. Very short, concise replies. Sometimes one word answers. I initiated once, and never did it again. She reached out a week later and asked me what I was doing that weekend. I said "hanging out with friends." We didn't say anything else to each other. Two weeks later she says "Want to meet up soon?" I said "Maybe."

Most guys don't have the confidence or discipline to behave that way. This chick could tell she wasn't a priority to me, and that's what caused her interest level to raise. 99% of guys would text a few days later after getting the number, try to set up a date the following weekend, confirm the day of, etc. It's the blueprint every dude since the dawn of civilization implements. You don't think you're chasing, but you are.

You need to show interest, then STOP. The problem is, guys show interest, and some more interest... and then a little more interest on top of that, and become totally unaware they're chasing when they swear they're not.

Most people pursue people who aren't pursing them.

Or they simply forget about you and move onto to someone else.

There is a fine line between showing too much interest and not showing enough

 

[BPH]

Get on your own and struggle. Understand that it is YOUR job to make something of your life and understand that women are paying attention to what you have accomplished. Go accomplish something. Nobody owes you anything. You gotta make your own way and that means getting out of the comfort zone that is holding you back as a man. No excuses.

Alright, I think you're misinterpreting the problem and what I'm upset about.

I am very well aware of my financial shortcomings, it is something I'm actively working on. I am not overly annoyed about this one specific girl, I'm annoyed that I think it's becoming a pattern where I can't identify the problem. It's like having a pebble in your shoe...at first it's not a big deal, but after walking a couple miles it starts to really bother you.

I understand that where I live, the car I drive, the money I make are all hindrances to long-term dating...but I'm not talking about that. First off I'm looking for strictly physical short-term stuff...I'm recently single and do NOT want another relationship for a while until I have my house sorted. I'm talking about meeting women out at the bar or setting up a date through Bumble or Tinder. These women know nothing about me beyond what I look like and what I choose to say to them - and trust me, I'm not bragging to any woman about living at home.

So if it's not the looks, I'm trying to diagnose the problem in my interactions, which is where I think I'm having the hangup.

This is the biggest problem. It doesn't matter how good looking you are. At 28, it's a big red flag with women to be with a guy living with his parents. The typical woman now has endless options and that's how it has been for at least 15-20 years, ever since technological means have allowed women to get exponentially more options. Based on you being good looking, you were probably able to get away with living at home more easily from 21-25 than most men. That ship has now sailed.

On a separate note, I could relate to the title of this thread. I've had nights in my life where I've gotten home from the bars at 2-3 AM, failed to get vagina that night, and was quite pissed.

As mentioned above, the fact that I'm living at home is not something I advertise. I don't think that would be a factor when it comes to online dating or meeting girls out at bars because they don't know that unless I tell them, and I promise you I'm not bringing that up.

But yeah, as for the second part, that particular week at the beach I was especially pissed when I came up short 3 nights in a row after I thought it was a done deal. The night I made this thread I was perfectly sober just working at my computer when I checked my phone had a "ok what am I doing wrong here" moment.

I would turn them on. Read receipts are part of chic crack. They do that **** on purpose to guys to fck with them. They know it. Flip it on them drives them nuts

Yea that doesn't sound like a viable option. But having somewhere to bounce is a key component.

Yeah I'm working on moving out...it's the part of my life that I'm least happy with, tried a couple different avenues to change it and haven't seen much success but I'm trying something new currently. As for the read receipts, do you think it's better for them to know they were left on read than to wonder whether their message was received?

 

[RBK]

as I mentioned previously buddy I understand what you’re saying. I think you’re looking for advice on where you are going wrong in your interaction. It may not be you even though you’ve had some failed attempts it seems there are so many women that have so many options and a lot of these women are now sugar dating so the available pools even smaller than it ever was coupled with apps and their general need for validation everywhere it’s a brutal spot right now for most men.

 

[gwoppin]

Maybe have a look into what your attachment type is. Its possible that these women trigger a certain something in you that makes you show certain insecurities.

My number 1 tip is be as laid back, as accepting and nonjudgmental as you can be towards her, wether its an embarrassing confession or funny noise her body made when sleeping together.

Im not saying dont challenge her, dont have banter or be risky and exciting, but we live in a crazy hectic world where people are constantly judged and women are self conscious as f***.

You want YOUR company to be the company she chooses on Friday night, so make your company that place to be by being an escape from that.

Im not saying to base your entire game off of this, but ive found this to be a huge part of my game.

Also, if you show how open and nonjudgmental you are, imagine her freaky kinks she will be more open to telling you about?

 

[BPH]

No she didnt. She is correct and the funny part is it took a woman to tell you. Nothing personal but I think you have coddling parents. My 28 yr old son wouldn't be staying with me long.
Girls are not always good at telling a guy to man up but she is this time spot on.
You can game at moms house
You can game living in your car too.

I don't get what you mean at the end there. You CAN game at your mom's house? Isn't the rest of what she/you are saying is that I shouldn't?

Also yeah I don't take that personally, but what I'm saying is that doesn't factor in when I'm out meeting girls, setting up dates, going to bars because unless you're saying that somehow the fact that I live with my parents is showing in my interactions then they would never actually KNOW that, so it shouldn't be a factor.

But yeah I'll try turning on the read receipts.

 

[member160292]

Ok let me be clear on this. Its not a witty trick. Women use it to fck with guys to see how there frame is.
A guy can use it when you are "genuinly" doing shyt and are busy. Dont be afraid to read the message and get back to it later when you have time.
Girls use it as a trick. And if you use it as a trick they will pick up on that. First understand why it works.

I get what you're saying. It can work in my scenario where the women I'm after are looking for a relationship. I'll give it a shot turning it on after a first date this weekend

 

[RickTheToad]

I'm sitting here at my computer doing work for my personal hustle and somebody sends me a Snapchat. I check my phone and notice that somebody else on my friend's list recently deleted me.

The reason I'm pissed is that this "somebody" is a girl that I'd been talking to since mid-week last week and had a date set up for tonight. We were originally supposed to meet up on Friday, but she asked to reschedule for Monday night due to her late-night work shifts, and that was fine. Then I checked my phone tonight after we had talked earlier today, only to find out I've been removed on Snapchat and my number's been blocked.

I guess I shouldn't be too surprised...she's a girl from Bumble and she and I were both looking for "something casual", which historically for me when the time actually comes, has always led to a last-minute flake.

But tonight I'm especially pissed off because this is becoming a pattern.

Some of you may recall I made a post about a girl I had been dating in regards to a Valentine's Day fight titled "Am I the A**hole?". We went back and forth for a while but eventually, I broke it off for good around early July I think (those of you who remember this thread, congrats, you were right). Since then I had gone on vacation for an entire week to a beach with a go-to bar every single night, been out with my buddies most weekends, and redownloaded the big-three dating apps...and in all the time between then and now I have only slept with 1 new woman only 1 time. And I just don't get it.

As far as my circumstances go, I'm 28 and unfortunately still live at home with my parents, but I'm a very good-looking guy to the point where I had a modeling contract so I'm still surprised that even one-night stands are suddenly an issue.

What I've noticed is this...and maybe it's just me...but I'll have a whole weekend planned as far as which girls I'll see. I'll spend the week flirting and setting up dates with matches or girls I've number closed, etc and my concern will be finding time to see all of them - but once the time comes there's a flake here, a ghost there, a reschedule there...and I don't know if I'm doing something wrong on my end or what.

When I was at the beach there was a span of 3 nights in a row, where I was making out with a different girl each night at the bar, and by the time it came to leave and seal the deal, something came up. One was recently out of a relationship, one was with a girlfriend who was also down but then ghosted, same with the third.

And I just don't get it. I don't know why I'm getting to the finish line over and over again only to get blindsided. I had 2 girls up in New York that I'd casually slept with prior who were down to hang out. Both left me on read when I was telling them I might be up there this next weekend.

So yeah, its 3AM and I'm pissed, I don't know why this is happening or what I'm doing wrong. This is mostly me venting, but if somebody sees a solution to this problem that maybe I'm overlooking, I would love to hear it. I'm just getting sick of thinking I have all the options in the world lined up for the weekend, only for all of them to change up at the last minute.

 

[BeExcellent]

No I see the issue totally. The highest value girls want to know something about you and what you are about before they’ll give it up.

Less attractive women realize you are out of their league looks wise so they will be more wary of your intent, not less.

There is something in the way you are interacting that is off putting. Maybe you are too pushy for sex (no girl wants to feel used so you’ve got to seduce rather than push.)..

If your goal is to screw around casually then the woman has to be on board. You accomplish this through charm and great banter. You might be lacking there, I don’t see your convos so I can’t assess that.

Women have options who want to DATE them if they are beautiful. Casual won’t stack up against that anymore than living with your parents stacks up against a physician.

 

[Murk]

Living at home isn’t a catch considering hot girls rely on others to supplement their lifestyle. Hot girls don’t hang dude at parents houses.

You need to drop down 1-2 points in your target women until your life game is up.

Once you have a pot to piss in and two sticks to rub together, you can go for matching/higher smv. Being attractive isn’t all you need, I was the same.

 

[DeCarlo]

ITT: People are telling this guy he needs a nice car, own place, hobbies and materialisms just to meet with girls in 2022. The age of IG hookups, megan the stallion, onlyfans and lookism is at a all time high. Oh and women make their own money and even make more than men in certain developed countries.

I see what you guys are saying but cmon. Yes he should have his **** together but that has little to do with not even meeting girls. I can see if he was telling you guys 'I bring them back to my Moms place and I dont get laid' or 'after the date nothing happens' or 'once I talk to them for weeks about my life they ghost'.

Im the same age as you OP. IMO I think you have some inner game to work on. Im no model. But Im tall, do well for myself but I had some inner stuff to overcome recently that hampered me. So maybe girls sniff that and dont wanna bother.

Or you simply are boring. The main thing I dislike the most about modern OLD is that girls want you to put on some type of show for them or they deem you boring. I do much better cold approaching for a hour a day offline than OLD for this very reason.

Or you arent as good looking as you think you are. Modeling contract.. okay. But for what? A underwear model or a hand model? Not to take anything away from you. Also good looking to certain types of women isnt the same. Im tall slim and Black and girls in E Europe vs West Europe vs Scandinavia all view me very differently. Especially if you throw in beard vs no beard.

Lastly.. we are taking advice from a post wall woman that dated in the 00s or even possibly 90s? Before Obama, smartphones and girls were twerking on youtube? I welcome her advice and nothing against her. As Im sure she wants to help. She has a son. But Im not sure how much sauce we can put on that--less so because shes a woman but moreso because of how dated it is. Even if she was dating right now shed still be coming from another reality because shes not a guy trying to date. Red pill 101 is not taking advice on getting laid from women. As they often talk about security and attraction advice versus arousal. Which is what OP is looking for. Sure enough she started talking about how she dated doctors and stuff. Okay cool. But we're talking about arousal based/getting laid. Not how to get a wife and what women look for in a beta male provider.

'When you ask a woman about what kind of man she likes she answers based on what kind of man she would want in the long term. Not what makes the panties drop.'

OP, what car you drive and what is in the bank is not a major factor in you struggling to meet or even get to the dating stage. Ask all the sexpats in Barcelona, Riga, and Italy here in Europe that **** every weekend because they get girls on vacation mode and are placed in a setting where girls are ready to ****. Im out here in Europe and see dudes in hostels with nothing but a backpack get laid all the time. Unfortunately youre not in that setting so yeah... Keep your head up, dont give up. And dont let women not meeting shake your sense of self. Maybe you just havent found your tribe yet.

A guy posted here about how women from East Europe always come up to him. Turns out hes some burly looking dude and slavic women like that. My Asian friend cleans up in certain parts and barely has to try for women looking for feminine looking men.

All this money, status and where you live talk is not only provider, but 2014 talk. At best. Women have their own money and nowadays that **** isnt gonna keep you from getting laid. Its 2022. I was homeless and getting laid in 2018 living with my friend. Hell yeah not having your own spot makes it harder though if youre not at a Ayia Napa or Greek Island.

Cheers.

This is all my opinion.

Thanks for contrubting BeExcellent! You bring up good points. I need to get my money up too, but not for women. And those things do matter for sure in the long term. Indubitably.

 

[BPH]

ITT: People are telling this guy he needs a nice car, own place, hobbies and materialisms just to meet with girls in 2022. The age of IG hookups, megan the stallion, onlyfans and lookism is at a all time high. Oh and women make their own money and even make more than men in certain developed countries.

I see what you guys are saying but cmon. Yes he should have his **** together but that has little to do with not even meeting girls. I can see if he was telling you guys 'I bring them back to my Moms place and I dont get laid' or 'after the date nothing happens' or 'once I talk to them for weeks about my life they ghost'.

Im the same age as you OP. IMO I think you have some inner game to work on. Im no model. But Im tall, do well for myself but I had some inner stuff to overcome recently that hampered me. So maybe girls sniff that and dont wanna bother.

Or you simply are boring. The main thing I dislike the most about modern OLD is that girls want you to put on some type of show for them or they deem you boring. I do much better cold approaching for a hour a day offline than OLD for this very reason.

Or you arent as good looking as you think you are. Modeling contract.. okay. But for what? A underwear model or a hand model? Not to take anything away from you. Also good looking to certain types of women isnt the same. Im tall slim and Black and girls in E Europe vs West Europe vs Scandinavia all view me very differently. Especially if you throw in beard vs no beard.

This is kinda how I was feeling after reading a majority of the replies. Everybody's looking at the big picture of my life situation being the reason I'm having difficulty, but failing to understand that I'm having issues with the superficial, casual, one night stand out at a bar/on a dating app rather than trying to get a girl to stay with me once she finds out my financial and housing situation.

I know my shortcomings, but I'm saying they shouldn't be a factor if the women I'm going after aren't around long enough to find that stuff out.

I'm not sure what OLD stands for, but yeah I do way better in person than over dating apps. I'm not a boring person and I'm comfortable in conversation with women. The thing that sucks is how much I have to spend or travel to put myself in front of these women considering how boring the area is where I live.

Also I got a kick out of the hand model thing. I'm 6ft tall, I weigh 200lbs (which is what, 92kg?), I'm muscular with a 6-pack and have a nice smile thanks to braces when I was younger, and still have all my hair. I know I'm an attractive dude and that MAY intimidate some girls (I've had people on dating apps think I was fake), but what's more likely is my desperation to up my body count since I'd been with the same toxic girl for 9 months finds its way into my interactions somehow.

 

[Slowhandluke]

Op knows he's a "loser". The girls might not explicitly be told that but they can sense it.

Being a "loser" doesn't mean he is not rich or accomplished. It just means he doesn't have a "mission" in life.

Artist will get bootie because they are confident. They keep on writing to try a be successful, etc. Guys that live at home saving their money to buy a business or start something - girls will F that guy. Guys with a shiety car, but is determined to spend his time and resources focusing on other things.. these guys give off a good vibe. Girls will F that guy instead of the guy who spends all of his money on a nice car worrying about every scratch.

Girls don't like guys that complain about not getting any tail. They like guys that complain about their investments or their roadblocks in life that they are working on fixing.

Stop complaining about casual flings and work on your life's situation. You can be attractive, but most women have fvccked a bunch of attractive guys already.

 

[BPH]

Op knows he's a "loser". The girls might not explicitly be told that but they can sense it.

Being a "loser" doesn't mean he is not rich or accomplished. It just means he doesn't have a "mission" in life.

Artist will get bootie because they are confident. They keep on writing to try a be successful, etc. Guys that live at home saving their money to buy a business or start something - girls will F that guy. Guys with a shiety car, but is determined to spend his time and resources focusing on other things.. these guys give off a good vibe. Girls will F that guy instead of the guy who spends all of his money on a nice car worrying about every scratch.

Girls don't like guys that complain about not getting any tail. They like guys that complain about their investments or their roadblocks in life that they are working on fixing.

Stop complaining about casual flings and work on your life's situation. You can be attractive, but most women have fvccked a bunch of attractive guys already.

Alright guys just let the thread die.

50% of the replies understand the issue and gave me some advice that I can try to be critical of as far as my interactions.

And the other 50% think I need an entire lifestyle change in order to hook up with girls at bars...

Just let it die.

 

[Bingo-Player]

One word for you : OPTIONS

Hot girls have them , plenty of them so many they can't even be bothered to reply to half of them

This is why sending outrageous messages on dating apps usually gets better results than small talk

Women are expert at sensing guys that Pu$$yfoot around

The girl i am currently dating is a HB 8 maybe 9 in some books

Before i had even met her i sent her a picture of my bath and told her i would be fvcking her in it ......

Get straight to the point with them .

 

[bat soup]

I'm sitting here at my computer doing work for my personal hustle and somebody sends me a Snapchat. I check my phone and notice that somebody else on my friend's list recently deleted me.

The reason I'm pissed is that this "somebody" is a girl that I'd been talking to since mid-week last week and had a date set up for tonight. We were originally supposed to meet up on Friday, but she asked to reschedule for Monday night due to her late-night work shifts, and that was fine. Then I checked my phone tonight after we had talked earlier today, only to find out I've been removed on Snapchat and my number's been blocked.

I guess I shouldn't be too surprised...she's a girl from Bumble and she and I were both looking for "something casual", which historically for me when the time actually comes, has always led to a last-minute flake.

But tonight I'm especially pissed off because this is becoming a pattern.

Some of you may recall I made a post about a girl I had been dating in regards to a Valentine's Day fight titled "Am I the A**hole?". We went back and forth for a while but eventually, I broke it off for good around early July I think (those of you who remember this thread, congrats, you were right). Since then I had gone on vacation for an entire week to a beach with a go-to bar every single night, been out with my buddies most weekends, and redownloaded the big-three dating apps...and in all the time between then and now I have only slept with 1 new woman only 1 time. And I just don't get it.

As far as my circumstances go, I'm 28 and unfortunately still live at home with my parents, but I'm a very good-looking guy to the point where I had a modeling contract so I'm still surprised that even one-night stands are suddenly an issue.

What I've noticed is this...and maybe it's just me...but I'll have a whole weekend planned as far as which girls I'll see. I'll spend the week flirting and setting up dates with matches or girls I've number closed, etc and my concern will be finding time to see all of them - but once the time comes there's a flake here, a ghost there, a reschedule there...and I don't know if I'm doing something wrong on my end or what.

When I was at the beach there was a span of 3 nights in a row, where I was making out with a different girl each night at the bar, and by the time it came to leave and seal the deal, something came up. One was recently out of a relationship, one was with a girlfriend who was also down but then ghosted, same with the third.

And I just don't get it. I don't know why I'm getting to the finish line over and over again only to get blindsided. I had 2 girls up in New York that I'd casually slept with prior who were down to hang out. Both left me on read when I was telling them I might be up there this next weekend.

So yeah, its 3AM and I'm pissed, I don't know why this is happening or what I'm doing wrong. This is mostly me venting, but if somebody sees a solution to this problem that maybe I'm overlooking, I would love to hear it. I'm just getting sick of thinking I have all the options in the world lined up for the weekend, only for all of them to change up at the last minute.

Don't take it at face value. Just because a woman says she's looking for "something casual" that doesn't mean she is. More likely than not, she was just looking for male attention. She got it, the drug addict got her fix and then moved on. It made her feel good to know that she was wanted. She liked talking to you but when it came time to actually do something she vanished into thin air. Which is just as well because for all you know, she could actually be an overweight 50 year old with a face like a walrus.

If a woman says she wants to do something with you that means.... absolutely nothing. Talk is cheap. In fact, female talk often has negative value. What matters is action.