Dating Struggles

[Dean Gladwyn]

Hi guys, I have been doing a lot of reading on the subject of dating and I am very interested to know other people's opinions on this.
What would you say is the most difficult part of meeting someone new or finding a partner in the modern age?

 

[member160292]

The connection, vibe and ambition. I don't know if COVID had anything to do to it, but the women I've been dating are all about TV shows. I try to carry the conversation, but I lose interest.

Granted, I've only been dating for about a month. I'm now developing a process to filter out these women so we don't waste each other's time meeting up.

 

[Kotaix]

Hi guys, I have been doing a lot of reading on the subject of dating and I am very interested to know other people's opinions on this.
What would you say is the most difficult part of meeting someone new or finding a partner in the modern age?

The hardest part is finding a woman that is worth a damn. Most women (and most men) are little better than robots, aka the NPC meme, and that's before you get into entitlement issues.

Also, don't let yourself be dazzled by really hot women. They are rarely worth the effort unless they're young and come from a good upbringing.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Hi guys, I have been doing a lot of reading on the subject of dating and I am very interested to know other people's opinions on this.
What would you say is the most difficult part of meeting someone new or finding a partner in the modern age?

The expectations that come with dating, and especially a first date. Rarely is anyone themselves on the first date and rarely is anybody willing to commit to 2 or 3 dates to give it a fair chance to find out if there is a connection. Not to mention that OLD has cultivated a revolving-door and highly superficial mentality where you objectify people. Very much like going shopping for clothes every other month.

Modern Man Advice

 

[EyeBRollin]

Learn how to understand women and learn yourself. Finding a good woman is knowing what you can tolerate long term and maintaining a woman’s interest level.

 

[Dean Gladwyn]

The expectations that come with dating, and especially a first date. Rarely is anyone themselves on the first date and rarely is anybody willing to commit to 2 or 3 dates to give it a fair chance to find out if there is a connection. Not to mention that OLD has cultivated a revolving-door and highly superficial mentality where you objectify people. Very much like going shopping for clothes every other month.

Modern Man Advice

I couldn't agree more with this. If you don't make the first date exceptional or make the woman feel a certain way she'll just disregard the person and move on to the next. Damn.

 

[Dean Gladwyn]

The most difficult thing to learn is how to be impulsive and reactive in a good way. Asking women out randomly or off the wall humor. Taking risks.

The most difficult part of dating is that the quality women are rarely ever single.

The most difficult part of the modern era is the imbalance in options between women and men.

Do you mean approaching women and asking them out? I guess this is because we equate it to being such a high risk that if the woman rejects us our ego is going to be damaged

 

[SW15]

The expectations that come with dating, and especially a first date. Rarely is anyone themselves on the first date and rarely is anybody willing to commit to 2 or 3 dates to give it a fair chance to find out if there is a connection. Not to mention that OLD has cultivated a revolving-door and highly superficial mentality where you objectify people. Very much like going shopping for clothes every other month.

I couldn't agree more with this. If you don't make the first date exceptional or make the woman feel a certain way she'll just disregard the person and move on to the next.

I can relate to this as well. As a late 30s guy who has been in the mating environment for 20+ years, I have seen this change. First dates in the past decade or so have been judged by higher standards. A higher threshold of quality must be reached now in order to earn a second date as compared to 2001-2007.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I can relate to this as well. As a late 30s guy who has been in the mating environment for 20+ years, I have seen this change. First dates in the past decade or so have been judged by higher standards. A higher threshold of quality must be reached now in order to earn a second date as compared to 2001-2007.

Its not the date itself, it’s the man. Dating now is all brand marketing. The date is just a formality. Most of the time the chick has decided based off your profile (and if you actually look like your picture) and status if she will sleep with you or not. Your job is to just not fvck it up.

 

[SW15]

Its not the date itself, it’s the man. Dating now is all brand marketing. The date is just a formality. Most of the time the chick has decided based off your profile (and if you actually look like your picture) and status if she will sleep with you or not. Your job is to just not fvck it up.

I don't entirely follow your point. Online dating was around in the 2001-2007 time period. Women were getting their inboxes stuffed on Match, OkCupid, and PlentyofFish in that era too. A smaller percentage of the single population was using online dating though, but by 2004-2007, there were enough women on dating websites. It was easier to get laid on OkCupid or Match in 2004-2006 than it has been on Tinder/Bumble/Hinge 2015-present.

The part of the population that used dating websites in 2004-2006 was not representative to the dating market as a whole. Among the never marrieds under 30, it was men and women with less social skills than average. When you considered the 30+ people on websites back then, it was freshly divorced people on Match and a variety of middle-aged people with naturally small markets who couldn't meet people in real life.

I don't think that a chick decides to bang based off of a swipe app profile and status. I don't think I experienced that while using either swipe apps or websites in the pre-app era. Perhaps I didn't fucck some things up. I think it is possible for guys to fucck up a nearly sure thing.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I don't think that a chick decides to bang based off of a swipe app profile and status. I don't think I experienced that while using either swipe apps or websites in the pre-app era. Perhaps I didn't fucck some things up. I think it is possible for guys to fucck up a nearly sure thing.

She knows immediately if she is going to bang you or not.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I disagree with that. You can't discount the role that chemical/hormonal traits have in the final decision. You can't discount things like voice tonality. You can't discount women's ability to overrate men's attractiveness based on pictures alone and downplay factors that are more pronounced in person. You can't ignore the role of anxiety in interfering with prior intention. There is always a reassessment of attractiveness in person.

All that stuff counts, yes.

Point is, she expects all of that. She is not deciding to sleep with you because of those traits. She already knew when she accepted your date that you have enough value to bang. Most guys in the course if a date lower their value rather than raising or maintaining it.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

Women being social media junkies makes me lose interest real quick. Constantly updating pictures , sh!t like that
They just good for fb status.
I can't incorporate a ride or die chick into my realm if she has to constantly be on facebook or instagram. That only means that she has a gang of options.

 

[Dean Gladwyn]

How you make a woman feel on a date is important too. She can have a nice time with you on a date, but if she leaves feeling uninterested then we're doomed. Attractiveness is important, but there needs to be emotional fluidity during the date. If you can't make her feel emotionally on a date, it's just going to flat-line.