How do I play this best

[user252009]

A hot coworker I kinda have a crush on is leaving in a few months and there's always energy between us; she also started following me on IG and interacts with me there sometimes, but we haven't hung out outside of work yet. If you were in my situation, would you pull any moves while she's still working at the company or you'd wait until she's out?

 

[Dr.Suave]

I wouldnt wait. Just ask her out.

 

[Scars]

The window of opportunity never lasts forever. Women have more options then men, so make a move now.

 

[user252009]

on the last day

Will probably be something like that yeah, I don't want to make the environment uncomfortable if I do it sooner and she rejects. I met with a few coworkers the other day at a bar and asked her during the day time if she wanted to join us, but she said she was busy

 

[2Rocky]

Leaving the company, area, state, industry? Is she going to be accessible after she leaves?

My approach to try to have a "so-long fling" would be to put the ball in her court. "Hey, I heard you were leaving us. Here's my number. Perhaps your can fill me in on your plans over a drink soon."

If she's interested she will call. If not she won't. Plain and simple...

 

[user252009]

Leaving the company, area, state, industry? Is she going to be accessible after she leaves?

My approach to try to have a "so-long fling" would be to put the ball in her court. "Hey, I heard you were leaving us. Here's my number. Perhaps your can fill me in on your plans over a drink soon."

If she's interested she will call. If not she won't. Plain and simple...

Leaving the company but staying in the area I think; we're already connected on socials as I wrote in the post

 

[Redwolf]

Shoot your shot in person.

Ask her out and make sure she understands it's not in platonic way. If she rejects you simple back off and remove yourself from her. If she knows you're interested she might always hit you up once she's not working at the same place.

You have nothing to lose in this situation.

Never wait for "the perfect time". The time is now.

 

[xplt]

I side with @Redwolf and @Dr.Suave

Did the same with a girl at work about two months ago. Just asked her out, she left last week, we are dating since early June.

Don‘t know about your situation, but I was given a window for over three years from her. I shouldn‘t have waited this long.

You’re also living in Germany. Dating Coworkers is totally normal here.

 

[user252009]

I side with @Redwolf and @Dr.Suave

Don‘t know about your situation, but I was given a window for over three years from her. I shouldn‘t have waited this long.

You’re also living in Germany. Dating Coworkers is totally normal here.

What do you mean you were given a window? Also, I’ve had a very bad experience with a coworker a few years ago that still stings to this day (see my other threads), so I’m 300% more super careful and cautious. I’m already an anxious person by nature so I can’t just wing this approach, as I get even extra tense when around her.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Seems she is interested time to make your move

 

[user252009]

Seems she is interested time to make your move

What makes you think she’s interested? Just by following me and sometimes interacting over IG?

 

[xplt]

What do you mean you were given a window? Also, I’ve had a very bad experience with a coworker a few years ago that still stings to this day (see my other threads), so I’m 300% more super careful and cautious. I’m already an anxious person by nature so I can’t just wing this approach, as I get even extra tense when around her.

Yes, I remember now. But given the fact, that she is leaving soon, I think you could try. Perhaps you will get a positive reaction and boost your ego a little bit.

Well she gave me signals for over three years. But she was never steady. Gave me the eyes one day, then ignoring me the rest of the week. Basically mixed signals and I treated it as attention whoring and didn‘t play along, I just treted her as a coworker. But since the beginning of this year she warmed a little bit up and I noticed in conversations nothing in her beavior makes sense. When she told me occasionally that she‘s single twice in a week I just asked her out. She did this for three ****ing years. I never act on mixed signals/hot cold behavior, but she was just shy so I went for it before she left.

Tbh, I wouldn‘t have asked her if I didn‘t notice her shynes the last months and if she didn‘t had told me out of the blue that she‘s single. I said to myself, I’m not making a fool out of myself at work, if she wants something to happen, she has to be at least a little bit steady… so I can realte to your hesitation.

 

[RangerMIke]

Ask her out... then you'll know.

You really should NOT be wasting any energy on a chick unless she actually agrees to and meets you alone on a date.

You run the risk of getting obsessed with her the more you think about this, and/or miss the window of opportunity to do something.

Women are not men, they do not operate the way we do. We have the ability to put things on the back burning and pick up where we left off. Women are not like this, the longer you wait... the greater the chance the door will close permanently.

It is better to take your shot and miss than to wait for things to develop. It's all about timing. It is possible the timing isn't perfect and nothing will happen, but at least you will know and you can forget about this chick and move on.

 

[user252009]

Ask her out... then you'll know.

You really should NOT be wasting any energy on a chick unless she actually agrees to and meets you alone on a date.

You run the risk of getting obsessed with her the more you think about this, and/or miss the window of opportunity to do something.

Women are not men, they do not operate the way we do. We have the ability to put things on the back burning and pick up where we left off. Women are not like this, the longer you wait... the greater the chance the door will close permanently.

It is better to take your shot and miss than to wait for things to develop. It's all about timing. It is possible the timing isn't perfect and nothing will happen, but at least you will know and you can forget about this chick and move on.

I don't know man, I really don't wanna risk awkwardness at work or the word of mouth getting around that I asked her out in case she rejects me; that's why I'd probably wait until the last days, which will be in a few months, but maybe start to heat things up a bit already.

 

[2Rocky]

I don't know man, I really don't wanna risk awkwardness at work or the word of mouth getting around that I asked her out in case she rejects me; that's why I'd probably wait until the last days, which will be in a few months, but maybe start to heat things up a bit already.

How to Keep Your Dignity When You Get Shot Down for a Date

When you finally muster the courage to ask a friend out on a date and they say no, it can hurt in more ways than one. Here is how you can not only dea

lifehacker.com

 

[user252009]

How to Keep Your Dignity When You Get Shot Down for a Date

When you finally muster the courage to ask a friend out on a date and they say no, it can hurt in more ways than one. Here is how you can not only dea

lifehacker.com

WTF
"Stay Friends by Actually Being Their Friend" um, no
"Take a Break from Them If You Need It" also not possible, she works 9 ft away from me
"Don’t Project Your Disinterest In Them" we don't interact that much
"Go In with the Right Mindset Next Time" what kind of mindset would that even be

 

[2Rocky]

WTF

man you are hopeless...better work on your self image and confidence...you are gonna need it..

 

[user252009]

man you are hopeless...better work on your self image and confidence...you are gonna need it..

I have tons of confidence in my professional life as well as my creative side career. Just when it comes to women, I'm meh.

 

[Redwolf]

I don't know man, I really don't wanna risk awkwardness at work or the word of mouth getting around that I asked her out in case she rejects me; that's why I'd probably wait until the last days, which will be in a few months, but maybe start to heat things up a bit already.

Do what the man told you and ask her out. Her response will tell you everything. If she rejects just tell her maybe another time. Keep it light and short.

Remove your attention but keep it positive when you have to be around her. She might always come around later. Let the tension build.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

OP either you will potentially live with the pain of rejection for a few hours or days or you will live with the pain of regret if you do nothing for years.

I know which one I would choose.

Not to mention she might actually be into you so there is a chance you get to bang her senseless for a few months before she leaves.