Phone Call before First Date?

[BackInTheGame78]

This might be controversial, but I'm willing to experiment. Of the first dates that led to subsequent ones, most have been me calling the day before to confirm. We would chit chat for 15-20 minutes.

My thought is that it would build rapport and ease some tension before meeting someone for the first time. So, on the first meet some of the guard is down.

Has anyone made a habit of attempting to call before the first date? Of course, this is after you have the first date time/logistics confirmed.

I talk to probably half the women I go on dates with on the phone. If we have a good vibe via messaging or texting I'll gauge their interest in speaking on the phone and if they are down for it then I sometimes will call them and set up the date via phone.

This helps me for two reasons.

First, it allows me to see if she can hold a conversation, and Secondly I feel like if we have a good vibe via text and a good vibe on the phone we will have a good vibe in person. Isn't always 100% accurate but probably 85-90%.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Well I can usually tell if there genuine attraction within the first hour, if there isn’t why bother?

I then moved to backup, simple.

I can see why someone would do that, but I wouldn't have wanted to schedule that way. That doesn't leave time to let the night flow naturally for date 1. Perhaps Date 1 goes so well that you can get laid on the first one.

I prefer to reserve the whole night for one woman.

Anyway, this isn't a problem for most men who solely arrange dates through in-person means. When you solely arrange dates through in-person approaching, you don't generate enough interest to have double booking as an option. Online dating allows for more quantity of dates but often low quality. It's even more difficult to arrange a high enough quantity of dates via solely non-bar approaching in-person.

I prefer to market myself in higher end channels. There's a reason Mercedes-Benz doesn't advertise via outdoor signage at dive bars.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Wrong again, full up on plates shed one yesterday for breathing room.

Your sample size is too small then. Need to prospect more women. It’s a numbers game. To profit, maximize volume.

 

[SW15]

Well I can usually tell if there genuine attraction within the first hour, if there isn’t why bother?

I then moved to backup, simple.

I had a more difficult time assessing that from my dating website (pre-swipe app era) and swipe app generated dates.

If I decided I was going to offer a 2nd date, I had no way of knowing within 1 hour if a 2nd date would actually happen.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Wrong again, full up on plates shed one yesterday for breathing room.

So you’re straight up lying then. No man bats 100%.

 

[2Rocky]

There is something about hearing your voice that creates more attraction. Unless you have an annoying voice. Often i will pitch the date during the phone call because it is more personal and sincere. But I use a phone daily. I practiced my phone voice so I was not nasally and whiny. As a result my speaking voice came from deeper and became more resonant and confident.

Keep it brief. I often tell people I'm on the road between stops and I am arriving at one as my time constraint.

 

[SW15]

The phone has aggravated men for multiple generation. It is best to do as little as possible via the phone. This applies for phone calls, text messaging, and now social media/apps.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

So you’re straight up lying then. No man bats 100%.

Opinions are like anuses. Just because it is not your experience does not invalidate it as others'.

I wasn't handling huge volumes and I tended to qualify potentials repeatedly. I never proceeded to in-person meets unless I had a high probability of hitting it off with the woman.

While I often agree with many of your posts and opinions on this, my friend you are mistaken. Furthermore, there is no way to prove my experience to you, so we will have to let that just sit there.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I wasn't handling huge volumes and I tended to qualify potentials repeatedly. I never proceeded to in-person meets unless I had a high probability of hitting it off with the woman.

While I often agree with many of your posts and opinions on this, my friend you are mistaken. Furthermore, there is no way to prove my experience to you, so we will have to let that just sit there.

Exactly, low volume. That’s like Giannis going 3/3 from 3 compared to Steph Curry going 6/13.

Men, this is a numbers game. Stop worrying about flakes. Take more shots.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Exactly, low volume. That’s like Giannis going 3/3 from 3 compared to Steph Curry going 6/13.

Men, this is a numbers game. Stop worrying about flakes. Take more shots.

Is this a sports analogy? Volume is also subjective, to me low volume is 3-4 new partners a month. To someone else, it may be high volume. /shrug

 

[BillyPilgrim]

The phone has aggravated men for multiple generation. It is best to do as little as possible via the phone. This applies for phone calls, text messaging, and now social media/apps.

Phone calls allow for on-the-spot scrutiny without the benefit of in-person presence. From the women's perspective, they get to screen for "perfect match" ultra-compatibility along with wealth and status.

From the men's perspective, they don't get to screen for looks. This can be solved by a video chat, but this is a pain to have to present yourself for and you look worse than you would in person anyway. Many women use a video chat as a way for screening for all of the above, as well as looks.

You really do want to deflect any kind of screening activity on their part until you can meet in person. Unless you have a very strong feeling the woman is high interest.

 

[RBK]

I can see why someone would do that, but I wouldn't have wanted to schedule that way. That doesn't leave time to let the night flow naturally for date 1. Perhaps Date 1 goes so well that you can get laid on the first one.

I prefer to reserve the whole night for one woman.

Anyway, this isn't a problem for most men who solely arrange dates through in-person means. When you solely arrange dates through in-person approaching, you don't generate enough interest to have double booking as an option. Online dating allows for more quantity of dates but often low quality. It's even more difficult to arrange a high enough quantity of dates via solely non-bar approaching in-person.

I prefer to market myself in higher end channels. There's a reason Mercedes-Benz doesn't advertise via outdoor signage at dive bars.

I've come to realize we think a lot alike bro. I do the same, plan to reserve the night for one quality woman.. yea it's blown up on me before but I'll just go out and do something anyway if they bail.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The phone has aggravated men for multiple generation. It is best to do as little as possible via the phone. This applies for phone calls, text messaging, and now social media/apps.

Doesn't aggravate me, I do quite well with it.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Phone calls allow for on-the-spot scrutiny without the benefit of in-person presence. From the women's perspective, they get to screen for "perfect match" ultra-compatibility along with wealth and status.

From the men's perspective, they don't get to screen for looks. This can be solved by a video chat, but this is a pain to have to present yourself for and you look worse than you would in person anyway. Many women use a video chat as a way for screening for all of the above, as well as looks.

You really do want to deflect any kind of screening activity on their part until you can meet in person. Unless you have a very strong feeling the woman is high interest.

I find exactly the opposite. After they talk with me they become more interested than they already were.

The only people that need to be afraid of the phone are people who can't have a conversation and honestly if that's the case she will find out soon enough in person.

So the answer is to learn how to be a better conversationalist, not try and hide from it.

 

[SW15]

I've come to realize we think a lot alike bro. I do the same, plan to reserve the night for one quality woman.. yea it's blown up on me before but I'll just go out and do something anyway if they bail.

Even if a woman flakes on you, if you book back-to-back nights, you won't be waiting long for the next date.

Most men who approach solely in-person don't have enough volume to even book 2 consecutive nights of first dates, let alone 3.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Most men who approach solely in-person don't have enough volume to even book 2 consecutive nights of first dates, let alone 3.

Those men are limiting their options. The dating market in 2022 is globalized. Why restrict yourself? Your competition isn’t…

 

[2Rocky]

Those men are limiting their options. The dating market in 2022 is globalized. Why restrict yourself? Your competition isn’t…

Adding a few out of town women to the mix changes up the dynamic. Especially when they are far enough away that an overnight stay is expected.

 

[RBK]

Even if a woman flakes on you, if you book back-to-back nights, you won't be waiting long for the next date.

Most men who approach solely in-person don't have enough volume to even book 2 consecutive nights of first dates, let alone 3.

Every bro on this site has 4 dates each Friday and Saturday dont forget.

Bunch of fakes on here.

 

[member160292]

I find exactly the opposite. After they talk with me they become more interested than they already were.

The only people that need to be afraid of the phone are people who can't have a conversation and honestly if that's the case she will find out soon enough in person.

So the answer is to learn how to be a better conversationalist, not try and hide from it.

That's exactly what had me thinking about this new approach.

Isn't it the worst fear for a woman to go on a date with a socially awkward dude? My thought is that many men can be super clever by reading up on sh!t and put it in their profile, text routine.

I'll experiment, have a few that are likely to give me their numbers.

 

[20Humble5050]

Back in my single days I just tripled book so I never bothered much with confirming.

I also plan to do this the first time I do a whole bunch of approaches in short succession, but what am I supposed to do in the off-chance that more than one girl actually shows up?