Phone Call before First Date?

[member160292]

This might be controversial, but I'm willing to experiment. Of the first dates that led to subsequent ones, most have been me calling the day before to confirm. We would chit chat for 15-20 minutes.

My thought is that it would build rapport and ease some tension before meeting someone for the first time. So, on the first meet some of the guard is down.

Has anyone made a habit of attempting to call before the first date? Of course, this is after you have the first date time/logistics confirmed.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Not controversial. I think it's a good idea to build a solid rapport and commonality/familiarity before a first date. At the very least, it can minimize the chances of her flaking last min.

Butt it can go either way, so I would strongly recommend it if you are a good conversationalist (the ones that listen more than talk), have solid banter, and can make it fun. All of that in 15 mins or less. You don't want to run it for too long.

Modern Man Advice

 

[SW15]

It depends. Are you arranging you dates from behind an electronic screen or with in-person approaches? It seems like these dates are being arranged via swipe app.

It also depends on how old you are and how old the women you seek to date are. It'd be quite difficult to get anyone born in 1986 or later on a phone call. 1980-1985 birth years would be less difficult but also still difficult.

Arranging a video chat before arranging an in-person date could be a solid move off of the apps to try to cut down on "one date, no sex, no second date" type interactions and up your number of 2nd dates. If you're doing that, you might want to consider in-person approaching.

 

[member160292]

It depends. Are you arranging you dates from behind an electronic screen or with in-person approaches?

Oh yeah, good question. This is 100% for online

 

[SW15]

Oh yeah, good question. This is 100% for online

It seems like fewer people are doing any sort of in-person approaching anymore.

 

[member160292]

It seems like fewer people are doing any sort of in-person approaching anymore.

Not actively, but if the chance is there I'll shoot my shot. Online is way more efficient since I have other sh!t going on.

 

[SW15]

Online is way more efficient since I have other sh!t going on.

Online appears to have more efficiency. If you've ever gone outside and done a 2 hour approach session in a park or on a path and only approached 2 women, got 0 dates arranged/numbers, and maybe didn't even have a conversation last 60 seconds or longer, it is going to be normal to think online has efficiencies. After all, you could have accomplished the same thing sitting in your underwear swiping at home.

I have had approach sessions like that. Sometimes the approaches aren't there, unless you want to spam approach in non-bar venues. Some guys spam approach outdoors, including women wearing earbuds.

I know my match percentage from previous forays into swipe apps is a fraction of 1% of all right swipes.

 

[member160292]

I'm not doing 2-hour sessions to try and get women with lukewarm interest, at best.

 

[RBK]

Most girls won't answer, they use text to communicate. I haven't called a girl first in ages.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Back in my single days I just tripled book so I never bothered much with confirming.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

If it's your idea, go for it. However, if the female insists on a phone call as a "brake-check" before you have a chance to escalate with her, that's a red flag.

 

[SW15]

I'm not doing 2-hour sessions to try and get women with lukewarm interest, at best.

Dedicated, non-bar venue approach sessions can be like that. I can identify with why you feel that way. It's often difficult to generate enough prospects in day-to-day routines without visiting bars, so most guys would end up needing to do dedicated 2-3 hour sessions in a park, on a path, or even in a grocery store/stores or malls.

Back in my single days I just tripled book so I never bothered much with confirming.

Double and triple booking is a great idea. There were periods on swipe apps where I had enough interest to potentially double book but I tried not to do that. I tried to give people a fair chance. I would do things like book back-to-back nights or 3 consecutive nights of first dates.

I always found the confirmation stuff to be a bit of babysitting. I did have women text me to confirm.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Yes it’s rote for me now. If I can talk to them it always has guaranteed no flake.

This might be controversial, but I'm willing to experiment. Of the first dates that led to subsequent ones, most have been me calling the day before to confirm. We would chit chat for 15-20 minutes.

My thought is that it would build rapport and ease some tension before meeting someone for the first time. So, on the first meet some of the guard is down.

Has anyone made a habit of attempting to call before the first date? Of course, this is after you have the first date time/logistics confirmed.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Nope. Conversing before the first date is a waste of time, kills the mystery, and establishes poor long term communication precedent.

I advise only to do it if she specifically calls you or asks for a phone call. It also gets her into the subconscious habit of chasing your attention.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Back when I double booked I’d separate them by 3 hours, with the most valuable prospect first. Happy hour drinks and appetizers, I’d know an hour or max two if I was going to cancel on number 2.

Dedicated, non-bar venue approach sessions can be like that. I can identify with why you feel that way. It's often difficult to generate enough prospects in day-to-day routines without visiting bars, so most guys would end up needing to do dedicated 2-3 hour sessions in a park, on a path, or even in a grocery store/stores or malls.



Double and triple booking is a great idea. There were periods on swipe apps where I had enough interest to potentially double book but I tried not to do that. I tried to give people a fair chance. I would do things like book back-to-back nights or 3 consecutive nights of first dates.

I always found the confirmation stuff to be a bit of babysitting. I did have women text me to confirm.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Yes it’s rote for me now. If I can talk to them it always has guaranteed no flake.

Stop worrying about flakes. Chicks that are serious about going out with you do not flake.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Stop worrying about flakes. Chicks that are serious about going out with you do not flake.

worried? Not particularly, fortunately have never had a flake, hard to believe but true.

 

[EyeBRollin]

worried? Not particularly, fortunately have never had a flake, hard to believe but true.

Your sample size is too small then. Need to prospect more women. It’s a numbers game. To profit, maximize volume.

 

[Young OG]

Don't call. It's unnecessary. I've had tons of OLD dates that I've banged and I didn't talk to them on the phone before the date.

 

[SW15]

Back when I double booked I’d separate them by 3 hours, with the most valuable prospect first. Happy hour drinks and appetizers, I’d know an hour or max two if I was going to cancel on number 2.

I can see why someone would do that, but I wouldn't have wanted to schedule that way. That doesn't leave time to let the night flow naturally for date 1. Perhaps Date 1 goes so well that you can get laid on the first one.

I prefer to reserve the whole night for one woman.

Anyway, this isn't a problem for most men who solely arrange dates through in-person means. When you solely arrange dates through in-person approaching, you don't generate enough interest to have double booking as an option. Online dating allows for more quantity of dates but often low quality. It's even more difficult to arrange a high enough quantity of dates via solely non-bar approaching in-person.

I prefer to market myself in higher end channels. There's a reason Mercedes-Benz doesn't advertise via outdoor signage at dive bars.