What Are the Dangers of a High Notch Count for Men?

[BadBoy89]

It's a common belief that, for a man, the more partners, the better.

But is this really true?

Not so much the count as it is quality. No man will readily admit he slept with fatties or uggos or older women or single mothers, but he will easily add it to his count.

Attraction and Sosuave is all about banging young, hot, sexy, girls in their 20s; or for older men, hot women in 30s. The world revolves around these women. Never see those incels upset becuase they can’t bang 46 year old ugly menopausal women with 2 kids. They want the sexy college girls without investing much.

Certainly those of you with high notch counts have, in addition to copiously satisfying your lusts, also experienced mental turmoil and a lot of stress as a result of it, and have maybe even experienced health issues, no?

I don’t think any man in the world will have mental turmoil by sleeping with hot sexy young girls.

Sounds like you are jealous are trying to throw something back in their court to make yourself feel better.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

It’s going to be a catch 22 in any case, your 9/10 could be my 6.5 and vice-versa.

I find it comical that guys here are so worried about notch counts then when the discussions start the guys with purportedly higher counts that participate get told that their notches were all fatties or 4/10’s.

Really, folks who cares? And if you do why? It’s irrelevant.

As they say “for every beautiful woman there is a man that’s tired of sleeping with her”.

All assessments of quality are subjective, at best.

Live your best life! If you like size 0’s (that look like emaciated 12 year olds) DOOOO IT! If I like size 6 cello shaped Latinas then that’s my deal. My Cawk doesn’t care what you think, and neither should yours. Can you not see that when you react with your arguments as detailed above that it seems like you’re compensating for something?

Again who gives. Rat’s arse?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

The guy who commends and praises a scammer, albeit for sex instead of money, has an equally despicable and vile character.

I don’t think any man in the world will have mental turmoil by sleeping with hot sexy young girls.

Sounds like you are jealous are trying to throw something back in their court to make yourself feel better.

Indeed.

And I thought it was just older women who equated seduction with Nigerian Princes. Learn something new every day.

 

[RBK]

Risk for Men:
STD scare, pregnancy, ostracized by society for non traditional lifestyle (who cares), lonlineless as all your friends are married with kids.

Risk for Women:
Unwanted pregnancy, unhappiness, but I think the big thing for women is they lose the ability to pair bond. A woman who sleeps with a lot of men doesn't have the ability to bond with a mate after sleeping with so many people. These women are inherently broken.

 

[CBear]

I have seen men who have slept with a lot of women and become extremely unsatisfied and desire "something more special". Some settle for whatever they can get, that's essentially the least worst option, when they're older and the only options left are older, jaded women. Others find someone better but over time, both become extremely resentful and wish that they could live a player life again. It's almost as if it could lead to a life in which one becomes unsatisfied/miserable in any situation.

 

[SW15]

Do you think the same is true for men? That having a high notch count would make it difficult to emotionally bond with a woman, say in a LTR?

It is true, but to a lesser extent. Roosh explained it well in 2019 prior to him denouncing the seduction lifestyle.

Contraception Prevents Love – Roosh Valizadeh

Many people, including myself, have come to the conclusion that there is an agenda to block reproduction. Most phenomenon in modern Western society, such as homosexuality, casual sex, feminism, transgenderism, and divorce laws, among many others, are meant to keep the birth rate below the replacemen

www.rooshv.com

"Men, on the other hand, barely lose any bonding glue with a casual sex encounter. Consider that the deepest I was ever in love was three years ago, well after I achieved a surplus notch count. Before that relationship, I was self-aware enough to slow down fornication when I felt it was beginning to damage me, with sufficient bonding glue remaining. I’ve also met many men with notch counts higher than mine who can still bond with women in a reasonably healthy way (as much as modernity allows), but a woman with the same notch count is likely to develop a severe mental illness. Any child she makes will be accidental and raised in a broken home."

Another poster, I think it was @Pan87 said a LTR and spinning plates entails two different skill sets.

So if a man has mastered spinning plates/high notch count, it would seem fitting that he may not have the proper skills to bond in a relationship.

Some of the biggest pickup artists have had some relational issues and mental health issues.

Why Have So Many Well Known Pickup Artists Had Major Personal Issues?

Tom Torero: Has a scandal surrounding non-consensual recordings. Dies unexpectedly. Family confirms his death was a suicide. Roosh: Sister dies of breast cancer. Leads to emotional breakdown. Has a religious conversion and condemns pickup, seduction, and all non-marital sex. Neil Strauss: Was...

www.sosuave.net

Some beta males that find their way into relationships are well suited to extended relationships. They are less likely to cheat, which can help keep a relationship going. However, the downside of being a beta male is that the woman will grow bored faster and seek to exit the relationship or dead bedroom the guy faster than a more alpha/sigma oriented guy.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Premarital Sex, Premarital Cohabitation, and the Risk of Subsequent Marital Dissolution Among Women :

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2003.00444.x

Do you think the same is true for men? That having a high notch count would make it difficult to emotionally bond with a woman, say in a LTR?

Another poster, I think it was @Pan87 said a LTR and spinning plates entails two different skill sets which makes sense.

So if a man has mastered spinning plates/high notch count, could it be possible that he may not have the proper skills to bond in a long term relationship?

I don't know, just asking what the difference would be between women and men in that regard.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I'm proud of myself for not playing house and following the beaten path, though there are consequences for the choice. I have experienced some social estrangement as a result of getting into my late 30s and not playing house.

I have taken up hiking and I have been going into nature a lot more like captain red beard. you are left with your own thoughts and in good nature. Fresh air. You can hear the water flow. Very peaceful. Here, I was stoic and in depth of contemplation.

With social gatherings from your past, you see how soft everyone is getting. A lot of guys are bald or severely balding and bulking season. A lot of pair shaped women. I've trolled showing up with barely legal something of a stunner. It's HILARIOUS. For starters, the boys are all mirrin &&& women are raging. The outcomes that follow are forgotten future invites. I've imploded circles and have absolutely no ****s given. As for the ride or die homies from the past, I am more cognizant of the optics &&& the potential head that it will bring on my boys.

I brought 1 guy out on a bender. 2am hit and his wife texted me. Concerned but definitely DREAD game. He was freaking out that I would say something that could find up everything. In these predicaments, I am vague and say nothing. Plausible deniability. Would never do my boys dirty directly or indirectly.

Stfu is the best play lol

Bringing a 21year old to 30 something group is wackkkkk. It's a flex yes but it is just too loud. Showed up with a barbie 1x. Another time with some emo looking baeeee covered in tats. It's honestly like water and oil. We don't mesh. This plan house and mingle with blue pill. One girl in group asked if I am ever going to settle down?

I said, one day. Still trying to find the one.

Trolling as a hobby. Works better if pretending to be blue pill. I can't be bothered.

In the late 2000s, I was looking into relocating to South America because I thought there was a chance I would be better positioned for a trad type relationship. I was in my mid-20s at the time, which was the perfect age to do a relocation to a more traditional culture. The 2008 recession hit as I was graduating from grad school and there was no way I was going to get international work authorization as a new grad in the worst global economic conditions since the end of World War II. I ended up shuttering my South American relocation ideas and eventually relocated within the United States. I kept spinning plates. I pillaged what I could.

If it's something that you still want for lineage purpose, there's still time. No biological clock. No better time than the present. South America is a alternative plan B. I think everyone should havery a plan B. A second passport is a must. There's far richer cultures and higher quality lifestyle elsewhere. No easy task. I was impressed with Andrew Henderson aka nomad capitalist. He emphasize the significant improvement abroad in dating combined with better quality living and tax brackets. The difference he said is night and day. The following is on point with my experience abroad. I thought it was a coincidence. As I get to more countries, there's no question.

Men are better off in cultures that promote your world view.

 

[Steno]

Its the same as for women:

• Inability to be loyal
• Increased narcissistic tendencies in all areas of life. Especially in regards to tendencies revolving around lying/deception
• Increased in preference for shallow characteristics like looks
• Increased mistrust toward women
• Decreased respect toward women
• Inability to stay in relationships long term without getting bored

 

[DoubleBarrel]

Its the same as for women:

• Inability to be loyal
• Increased narcissistic tendencies in all areas of life. Especially in regards to tendencies revolving around lying/deception
• Increased in preference for shallow characteristics like looks
• Increased mistrust toward women
• Decreased respect toward women
• Inability to stay in relationships long term without getting bored

Increased mistrust; decreased respect. I find that brilliant.

But I'm doing my utmost to be a bystander in this thread. Shhhhh.

 

[Murk]

I caught STDs but thankfully no kids.

Did get jaded.

I actually want to do more crazy things, more threesomes, more disrespectful sh1t to women. I think I’m not done objectifying and sexualising women before I think of raising a family. More debauchery.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Y’all are missing the point. When y’all choose to make women the priority of your life, y’all are sacrificing other things. Now I know it’s the internet and everyone makes over six figs, has 5 real estate properties, and has Warren Buffet on speed dial! However, the only rich guys I know chasing pvssy are entertainers/athletes and older guys on a glow up. However, this is temporary because of choosing to settle or losing wealth which chasing pvssy can be attributed to it.

Here is a prime case of my friend. He looks like a mix of John Snow and the Jamie Fraser from Outlander. He’s been the natural bad boy his whole life due to upbringing and was pretty red pilled by HS due to his experience with women at a young age. Yes, he has a high notch count and I was jealous of him in my early twenties but now I feel sorry for him.

True Highlights

1). No career/education- Instead of focusing on a trade/career, he chased pvssy and now he is chasing one dead end job after another

2). No self development because pvssy naturally came to him- This doesn’t apply to older glow up guys, but we all became better men because we wanted to get hotter girls.

3). STDs - Pretty self explanatory

4).Pregnancy scares, Kids out of wedlock- He has two kids with women he cannot stand to look at to this day. He has to deal with these women for the rest of his life now.

5). Domestic Disputes, Arrests, court cases- All it takes is one toxic woman to put on tears for the police or cause you to do something stupid like that football player throwing his girl at the TV. He had a decent opportunity to learn a trade in Colorado, but lost it because his girl decided to take him to court. Once a woman realizes that the State favors her, it’s over and you will go up and run game on her at the Kroger knowing nothing!

6). Logistics casualties- Did you get in a wreck driving to meet this girl? Did your car get towed because she told you to park in the wrong spot at her shvtty apartment? Did you get a DUI coming back from a bar or Netflix and chill? Guess what? This happened to my friend.

7). Wasted money- Unless your playing Ray Ray and Pookie game(which exposes you more to points 3 and 5) you will be spending money on these dates/meetups. Now if you are more inclined to dating the ones you fancy, that’s a better return in investment. If you are just pump and dumping girls just to feed your insecure ego, now I think thats silly lol.

I would definitely take a 20-30 part time lay count over someone over 50 that spends his life chasing pvssy.

 

[SW15]

Let's take a look at @Jake_Gyllenhaal69's 7 highlights and apply them to my 20+ years in the mating environment. Pusssy has been a thing for me during these 20+ years. I think these 7 factors are applicable to most men, even men who would never participate on a forum like SoSuave and are not overly concerned with the attraction-seduction lifestyle.

1). No career/education- Instead of focusing on a trade/career, he chased pvssy and now he is chasing one dead end job after another

2). No self development because pvssy naturally came to him- This doesn’t apply to older glow up guys, but we all became better men because we wanted to get hotter girls.

I got an education. Maybe too much of one. I finished an MBA program in the 2007-08 school year as the employment market was crashing. I still maintain that I had the worst post World War II graduation date, though the Classes of 2009, 2020, and probably 2022 will now argue with me. Due to my 2008 graduation date, my return on investment/return of effort was diminished from my MBA.

My parents did instill in me the expectation of post high school education. I was oriented more towards a bachelor's degree than a trade school certification. I think trade school is a better path for most men.

Part of why I got my bachelor's and later master's degree was to earn money to impress women and get vagina.

3). STDs - Pretty self explanatory

4).Pregnancy scares, Kids out of wedlock- He has two kids with women he cannot stand to look at to this day. He has to deal with these women for the rest of his life now.

5). Domestic Disputes, Arrests, court cases- All it takes is one toxic woman to put on tears for the police or cause you to do something stupid like that football player throwing his girl at the TV. He had a decent opportunity to learn a trade in Colorado, but lost it because his girl decided to take him to court. Once a woman realizes that the State favors her, it’s over and you will go up and run game on her at the Kroger knowing nothing!

None of this is applicable to me. I used condoms. Nothing from #5 though some non-court related dramas that cost me some lost sleep.

6). Logistics casualties- Did you get in a wreck driving to meet this girl? Did your car get towed because she told you to park in the wrong spot at her shvtty apartment? Did you get a DUI coming back from a bar or Netflix and chill? Guess what? This happened to my friend.

7). Wasted money- Unless your playing Ray Ray and Pookie game(which exposes you more to points 3 and 5) you will be spending money on these dates/meetups. Now if you are more inclined to dating the ones you fancy, that’s a better return in investment. If you are just pump and dumping girls just to feed your insecure ego, now I think thats silly lol.

Mostly every guy will experience #6 to a degree. #6 can be so many things.

#7 (Wasted money) has been my biggest consequence. For a multi-year period, I tracked spending on dates that were didn't result in me getting pusssy. The spend was high. I kept my individual date cost down but I had way too many "one date, no sex, no second date" type interactions, many of which were generated from dating websites/swipe apps. The numbers would have been even worse had I more thoroughly tracked night game sessions that amounted to nothing.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I got an education. Maybe too much of one. I finished an MBA program in the 2007-08 school year as the employment market was crashing. I still maintain that I had the worst post World War II graduation date, though the Classes of 2009, 2020, and probably 2022 will now argue with me. Due to my 2008 graduation date, my return on investment/return of effort was diminished from my MBA.

So were you chasing tail full time while pursuing a MBA? I’m more clear headed now and still date, but my grades would’ve been much better if I focused more on school and not partying and stuff for women lol.

 

[Barrister]

I would say the only downside is that once you are back in LTR (assuming you do get back into one) and have a relatively higher notch count, you feel the "pull" much more than with a low notch count. You will look at other women and feel a frustration at the confines of the LTR because you know if not for said LTR, you would approach and probably get a bang here and there from multiple different pvssy. You will especially feel this when you sense a mutual attraction and you are getting the green light from a woman. It makes LTRs more difficult than they already are.

 

[EyeBRollin]

STDs I guess. I always use condoms and get tested frequently. Thankfully I’ve never caught anything (that shows up on a test) nor had any symptoms. My notch count is 100+.

Desensitizing is good for men. I don’t get too high or too low ever when dealing with women.

One side effect I do notice though is that the best lays in the last 5 years I do occasionally get a strong urge to fvck them again. No matter how much I don’t want anything else to do with them.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I caught STDs but thankfully no kids.

You had the burns? You been raw dogging?

 

[Barrister]

This still sounds like a positive outcome to me....Doesn't the frustration due to the "pull" keep you looking at your gf more objectively, preventing oneitis, and pedestalization?

Like I said I think what I highlighted is essentially the only downside. It certainly does those things you mention - and those are positive things. However, if you are a man wanting a family, your children to be raised in the classic household white picket fence type thing, it certainly makes maintaining that lifestyle more difficult. Obviously, if that isn't a desire you have then there maybe is no downside at all.

 

[2Rocky]

So were you chasing tail full time while pursuing a MBA? I’m more clear headed now and still date, but my grades would’ve been much better if I focused more on school and not partying and stuff for women lol.

My grades definitely got better when I had a girlfriend than when I was sex and attention starved. I do think as men we need to work out of our relationship maintenance toolbox as much as our seduction toolbox to keep all those tools in working order. And that means recognizing NRE - New Relationship energy, differentiating between yellow and red flags, doing a cost-benefit analysis of a relationship.

Same idea as a career as employed or being a gig worker.

 

[SW15]

So were you chasing tail full time while pursuing a MBA? I’m more clear headed now and still date, but my grades would’ve been much better if I focused more on school and not partying and stuff for women lol.

While I was in graduate school pursuing my MBA, I was not chasing tail full time. I had a medium term relationship during that time that ended prior to graduation. One of the challenges about dating as an MBA level student (and likely true for most master's level degrees) is that it is generally an unstable time. Soon after graduation from the program, there's a good chance that you'll be relocating to another city for your first post MBA job. If you form a relationship while as an MBA student, there's a good chance it goes away due to relocation. I didn't want to have a serious romantic relationship interfere with evaluating job options. An MBA is a major endeavor in both time and money. The money part can be reduced by having in-state tuition at a public university. I would say that both in-state tuition public university students and elite private school students (think Harvard, Yale, Duke, Darmouth, etc) are taking on what can be perceived as a financial burden. You create the need to get a return on effort/return on investment from the degree program. You have to be self-centered when doing your job interviews coming out of school.

My post MBA interview process was royally fuccked by the 2008 downturn.

I knew people in my MBA program that formed relationships with each other during the program and both were having to take the other person's needs into consideration while interviewing for the first post MBA job. Additionally, male MBA students can often dip into the pool of undergrad females on campus too, which is what I would recommend if trying to date while pursuing an advanced. Competition for undergrad females is tough because you're competing with undergrad males and whatever men are 22-35 living in that city of that school. In some cities, townies are frowned upon but some universities are in big enough metro areas that the guys out of school in those metro areas who have careers are formidable competition.

My grades definitely got better when I had a girlfriend than when I was sex and attention starved. I do think as men we need to work out of our relationship maintenance toolbox as much as our seduction toolbox to keep all those tools in working order. And that means recognizing NRE - New Relationship energy, differentiating between yellow and red flags, doing a cost-benefit analysis of a relationship.

Same idea as a career as employed or being a gig worker.

Everyone does better in school or at work with consistent sex than when sex or attention starved.