Ungrateful meltdown - I'm fed up now

john1234

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I've been dating a young woman and it had been going good for almost 12months plus. It had entered the relationship territory. It started off good, she pushed me to meet her family. We have only had one petty argument and it was due to her being clingy and needy. Overtime, I have noticed that she has a very nosey character and is clingy towards me, she usually would like to meet every day but I need space and personal time. She wants to move together and I was fine with that but now it feels too pressured and I don't want to rush it.

Now within the last month, there have been almost two incidents, the first, I called her up on her poor comms and she argued about it, but apologised in the end. I can't remember the second incident. But this weekend, despite how tight things are for everyone, I had put in good effort, prepared a fun weekend for us, and even cooked meals for her, did grocery shopping for us and took her to local places for a walk and to also spent time. When we meet, we usually go to places to have fun. She does not add anything significant to the relationship in my opinnion.

But, a day later she starts being rudely quiet at home, yawning, reluctant conversations only talking when needing to and I just ignored her. Tbh her behaviour had made me start responding to old plates, I found her a turn off and a bore. So at this point, I am fed up and want to get her to leave with her toxic silence so that I can have a friendly normal atmosphere at home . But she is avoiding going home.

So the next day she has a meltdown on the way to leave, she is crying, she says that she feels unapprciated by many people but by me too, She says I don't take her to special places, I am not telling her about my financial situation and that she will tell me about every penny she earns (Why should I have to tell you this?), she says even her sisters boyfreind paid for a weekend for them in a non local hotel ( they are not BF & GF , they are friends with benefits, the sister has many of those boys on the spin). She now claims she cannot see her future without me. I suspect the sister is posioning her and is jealous but I keep my frame and keep it to myself.

After the meldown, I'm now drained and fed up. I think she is ungrateful for how she sees things. What started out good has now become stressful and pressurised.

Any insight would help with the drain.
 
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BillyPilgrim

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A long drive can help you de-stress and add perspective in my experience

I imagine most people here would tell you to take a break or dump here, but sometimes you need to clear your head yourself to see this.
 

john1234

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A long drive can help you de-stress and add perspective in my experience

I imagine most people here would tell you to take a break or dump here, but sometimes you need to clear your head yourself to see this.
I can't tell her that I want to take a break, it will not go down well.
 

Gamisch

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Honeymoon phase is over it seems. She did pretty well holding in that toxicity for 12 months. But yeah bro , that's women . Get used to it. Also feels like a little sht testing is going on here , as you did everything a gentleman needs to do and more. Its your gf so spinning might be premature, but you have to keep the option open .


I do appreciate @BillyPilgrim advice though: dont make a emotional decision just yet. Be as rational as possible.
 

DeCarlo

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That's women. Either check her now and be prepared to do this annually for the rest of your life as you are with her. Or dump her and keep it moving. Also any woman that compares you to other men don't respect you anyways. But if you're weak you'll put up with it.
 

Konada

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Sounds like you two have different love languages. However, her conflict management skills are dogsh!t.

Depending on how much you want the relationship, you can either try to talk it out with her or say "You're right, I don't see a future with you either" and show her the door.

I personally find it off putting she tried to play the victim to do what she wants. So that might be a red flag.

Tell her to discuss your differences like an adult or kick her out.
 

Zimbabwe

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Did not read a single word, just move on and find new girls. It's not hard
 

DeCarlo

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Did not read a single word, just move on and find new girls. It's not hard
For a white guy in SE Asia or in Sweden?

Environment matters the most. Play enough numbers and surely you'll hit anywhere, but some places surely aren't easy. "It's not hard anywhere." Was true in like 2015. Not so much now IMO.

Also, when you find out the age of the women most guys who "kill it everywhere" are it's even less impressive.
 

Zimbabwe

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For a white guy in SE Asia or in Sweden?

Environment matters the most. Play enough numbers and surely you'll hit anywhere, but some places surely aren't easy. "It's not hard anywhere." Was true in like 2015. Not so much now IMO.
Men on this forum have all the tools at their disposal to get ahead of others. There is no excuse, learn game and improve your looks,status and confidence.
 

Veréngárda

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You lost me at "rudely quiet."

Sound like my sensitive-ass parents ffs.
 

DeCarlo

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Men on this forum have all the tools at their disposal to get ahead of others. There is no excuse, learn game and improve your looks,status and confidence.
I agree, but to say that same guy is gonna get just as much play in Stockholm as he would in Bangkok wouldn't be true.
I'm all for it. Get your game up, hit the gym, and spin plates etc etc.(even desired physique isnt the same across the world btw)
But I can't see how anyone can say environment isn't the #1 factor nowadays.
We've got decades of intel on it now.
Especially if you wanna talk the best of the best women in said location(s).
So yes, it can be "hard" for a guy in a certain location. But he can still get play of course. Ask the Toronto and Sydney bros.
 

Zimbabwe

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I agree, but to say that same guy is gonna get just as much play in Stockholm as he would in Bangkok wouldn't be true.
I'm all for it. Get your game up, hit the gym, and spin plates etc etc.(even desired physique isnt the same across the world btw)
But I can't see how anyone can say environment isn't the #1 factor nowadays.
We've got decades of intel on it now.
Especially if you wanna talk the best of the best women in said location(s).
So yes, it can be "hard" for a guy in a certain location. But he can still get play of course. Ask the Toronto and Sydney bros.
I'm not denying that there are easier places (I'm from sydney). Unless you plan to move you just have to work with what you got and get the best results possible.

Guys in Sydney and Toronto have to work a lot harder for the same results but it's not impossible.
 

EyeBRollin

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Did not read a single word, just move on and find new girls. It's not hard
That is not the best option for every relationship. At some point, people need to know how to work through problems with a significant other instead of just jumping ship.

OP, ask yourself what she is doing for you in the relationship. That is step one. Step two is communicating what you require from her as your expectation. Step three is disciplining your woman (this is the hard part that takes months to years).
 

DeCarlo

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I'm not denying that there are easier places (I'm from sydney). Unless you plan to move you just have to work with what you got and get the best results possible.

Guys in Sydney and Toronto have to work a lot harder for the same results but it's not impossible.
Never impossible. But it can be hard in those environments.
In Seattle it took lots of patience and persistent, but I made it happen.
Looking back, it was hard. But don't think anywhere is "easy" nowadays so...
 

john1234

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Honeymoon phase is over it seems. She did pretty well holding in that toxicity for 12 months. But yeah bro , that's women . Get used to it. Also feels like a little sht testing is going on here , as you did everything a gentleman needs to do and more. Its your gf so spinning might be premature, but you have to keep the option open .


I do appreciate @BillyPilgrim advice though: dont make a emotional decision just yet. Be as rational as possible.
Yer thanks, after a short night of sleep. It still makes no real sense. Been a really bad weekend for my standards, would have been a much better weekend alone!
 

john1234

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That is not the best option for every relationship. At some point, people need to know how to work through problems with a significant other instead of just jumping ship.

OP, ask yourself what she is doing for you in the relationship. That is step one. Step two is communicating what you require from her as your expectation. Step three is disciplining your woman (this is the hard part that takes months to years).
This sounds good, I'm willing to heed this advice.
I'm not looking to just jumpship yet because we had good and genuine feelings.

I'll try these, but I would be exhausted with her and feel that she is unappreciative and delusional with her meltdown.

Maybe the relationship has run its course?

I'll give it one more try with expectations and if I get another issue I'm going to dump her and start looking at other women again.
 
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