Lover is getting too much of a good deal

[derby1]

I met a plate a while back and we went out.

I started to figure with her sneaky behaviour she has a beta provider at home. who shes planning on monkey branching from.

we have good sex, she pays for well over 50% of the stuff. turns up to everything and replies/initiates. this woman is submissive as hell, and obviously(currently holds me in high regard)

my problem is we've established more of a boyfriend/girlfriend text rapport. shes getting way too much comfort out of this, and has moved no nearer to removing beta provider.

Last week I decided to stay polite but skip a week due to my weekly availability, she didnt take this well, however when she came round this week, my value was sky high to her again and shes concerned over other woman.

this week I need to bring our communication down without looking like game playing or butt hurt. she gets way to much out of me, for the deal I get in return.

How shall I employ this, without telling her directly "we communicate to much for a five hour weekly hook up?"

or shall I tell her directly? this will kill the mystery though

 

[RBK]

I met a plate a while back and we went out.

I started to figure with her sneaky behaviour she has a beta provider at home. who shes planning on monkey branching from.

we have good sex, she pays for well over 50% of the stuff. turns up to everything and replies/initiates. this woman is submissive as hell, and obviously(currently holds me in high regard)

my problem is we've established more of a boyfriend/girlfriend text rapport. shes getting way too much comfort out of this, and has moved no nearer to removing beta provider.

Last week I decided to stay polite but skip a week due to my weekly availability, she didnt take this well, however when she came round this week, my value was sky high to her again and shes concerned over other woman.

this week I need to bring our communication down without looking like game playing or butt hurt. she gets way to much out of me, for the deal I get in return.

How shall I employ this, without telling her directly "we communicate to much for a five hour weekly hook up?"

or shall I tell her directly? this will kill the mystery though

I could be wrong but it sounds like you are catching feelings as well. Happens. Sometimes plates break. Either enjoy the situation or start withdrawing. Obviously she can't be trusted for a long term prospect.

One of the only weapons we have is withdrawing our attention, sounds like she needs less non sexual contact.

 

[Serenity]

Wait, is the problem that she might already have a boyfriend or that she's clearly interested in relationship?

If she's too interested then you'll just have to be clear that you don't want anything serious, might as well as it's not going to last long anyways when she figures it out the other way.

"Mystery" is a sh!t way to play it for plates anyways, unless you're fine with them disappearing at any moment once they figure out that behind the "mystery" there's no relationship. You're just leading then on until they figure out your exploit.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

So you get lots of sex, she pays for over half of everything and you have no commitment?

OP, what are you complaining about again? Sounds like you are actually the one with a pretty good deal.

 

[EyeBRollin]

You can’t, OP.

You fvcked up by establishing an irresponsible communication pattern. You cannot reneg on this without really pissing her off. I keep telling you guys to stop all this texting. It’s beta shvt.

The way to stop this pattern is to never start it!

 

[derby1]

Wait, is the problem that she might already have a boyfriend or that she's clearly interested in relationship?

If she's too interested then you'll just have to be clear that you don't want anything serious, might as well as it's not going to last long anyways when she figures it out the other way.

"Mystery" is a sh!t way to play it for plates anyways, unless you're fine with them disappearing at any moment once they figure out that behind the "mystery" there's no relationship. You're just leading then on until they figure out your exploit.

no shes deffo got a chap who lives at home "(share bills but no longer reckons the love is there)

 

[derby1]

So you get lots of sex, she pays for over half of everything and you have no commitment?

OP, what are you complaining about again? Sounds like you are actually the one with a pretty good deal.

I get sex once a week, its like a panicky session and i feel like Im on a treadmill. because obviously she has to be home.

Im 40 now and have ZERO tolerance for things

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I get sex once a week, its like a panicky session and i feel like Im on a treadmill. because obviously she has to be home.

Im 40 now and have ZERO tolerance for things

Haha, sounds like you are way too high strung bro.

 

[Serenity]

no shes deffo got a chap who lives at home "(share bills but no longer reckons the love is there)

Ah, got it. So it's inconvenient she has to keep up the facade towards her cuck and that she's falling for you.

It's one of those "enjoy it while it lasts" type of situations. I don't think there's much besides extreme manipulation you can do to keep this one afloat.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Her bloke at home definitely has no idea what she is up too

She's trying to have her cake and eat it .....thrill of forbidden sex and attention along with stability of comfort at home win win for a 30 something woman who's lost her peak value this is like christmas morning

I can tell you now she will never leave the nest "monkey branching" is a concept for women 18 - 26 that are in their prime

The older ones aren't stupid enough to try it because they are fully aware of the collateral damage it will cause plus it usually ends in tears

If something has to go it will be you OP not him

Women absolutely fvcking hate uncomfortable situations and confrontation

If it was me i would tell her look i am happy with the sex once a week but the overly familiar texting is stopping unless she leaves the fella

( Which she 100% won't do)

 

[derby1]

I agree with all the advice

I aslo agree Im highly strung, struggling to quit caffeine at mo. but I will persist

 

[BillyPilgrim]

So you get lots of sex, she pays for over half of everything and you have no commitment?

OP, what are you complaining about again? Sounds like you are actually the one with a pretty good deal.

To be fair, she gets lots of sex, he pays for about half of everything and she gets to cheat.

What's she complaining about?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

OP, casually mention have a super-busy period of work coming up (without mentioning anything about texting frequently) and then pull back, using work as an excuse when she gets needy. Then you can text-bomb her for a brief time, assuaging any insecurity issues, before pulling back again, while continuing to use work for an excuse.

Now your establishing an irregular communication habit while still demonstrating interest. Might be your best shot.

 

[RickPound]

This is a tricky situation. I’ve been in something very similar. Like others have said, she’s having her cake and eating it too. And most likely won’t leave her “provider” at home. She does have the better deal and will most likely gaslight and manipulate you to keep it that way.
She’s suspecting other women!? Wtf is she doing? What I failed to do was rise above it and put self respect first - by saying “listen, if you want something with me - drop homeboy and maybe I’ll consider it”. This will most likely blow up your supply of s*x from her, but the longer you let it go the more you allow her sh*tty behavior and the more you’ll catch feelings - making it harder to do the right thing.
You’re absolutely right. Don’t play boyfriend. Don’t text. Treat her like the cheater she is. When she eventually drops homeboy - you’re the prize and she’ll be dying to win you back over. Short of that, at least drop way off the communication and maybe answer her booty calls every once in awhile.
You have to get the power back or it will end badly.

 

[BadBoy89]

Just your lover, the one who is getting too good of deal by making you waste your time to sweet love to her, to buy you an expensive watch.

She should be so lucky to make love to a Sosuve member. Us brothers have to stick together.

 

[Odisseo]

What's wrong with this dude at home maintaining her. Poor guy.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

@derby1 OP: never “date” or make a regular out of someone who is in a committed relationship. Bang? Yeah sure, but as has been mentioned you’ve invested too much of your self. You are casting pearls before swine.

Yeah nice when they say “omg sex has never been so good” “no has ever ****ed me so good”, “I don’t know what come over me, you just bring it out in me!”, “that’s never happened before!”. But frankly, given everyone who is actually slaying that reads this can agree that they’ve heard something very similar to the above.

Do you want her for yourself? Lay down rules then see how it plays out, but be ready to not expect what happens next. And get in your head that she’s giving the guy at home maintenance sex - think about that every time your mouth goes near that vulva. Harsh but needs to be said.

If that doesn’t bother you then proceed as before, you’re doing ok.

 

[derby1]

OP, casually mention have a super-busy period of work coming up (without mentioning anything about texting frequently) and then pull back, using work as an excuse when she gets needy. Then you can text-bomb her for a brief time, assuaging any insecurity issues, before pulling back again, while continuing to use work for an excuse.

Now your establishing an irregular communication habit while still demonstrating interest. Might be your best shot.

I like this one, thanks for the advice guys ill stick with this for a fortnight

 

[derby1]

What's wrong with this dude at home maintaining her. Poor guy.

All women are doing it bro unless the guy has high SMV or status. for instance further up the road in our villages where the guys earn 30-50% more, the women are all "virtuous & loyal" literally will barely talk to you..

you come back down into working class areas where the man is a commodity you can get the kitty no probs

 

[derby1]

And get in your head that she’s giving the guy at home maintenance sex

I have no doubt bro she probably has 3-4 in the chamber, however she travels 40 minutes to see me, and paid for me to go away the night on my birthday without her being there,

so I can presume Ive done something impressive. This is all very rare in 2022