When a girl suggests a change of plans

[TonyJ78]

We were supposed to play tennis at the park today. So she texts me 'do you still want to meet up for tennis or hike the trail behind the park?'. I don't really care honestly. How to handle this?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I don't think it matters that much. It's not like she's changing a nighttime drink date to a sexless daytime coffee date. I imagine she wants to do something less sweaty.

You lose some kino opportunity by not being able to give her a "hands on" lesson, but you can still kino on the trail.

Or better yet, since she's suggesting a change of plans, why not change it to an evening date?

 

[TonyJ78]

I don't think it matters that much. It's not like she's changing a nighttime drink date to a sexless daytime coffee date. I imagine she wants to do something less sweaty.

You lose some kino opportunity by not being able to give her a "hands on" lesson, but you can still kino on the trail.

True. But I was looking forward to using the line 'I think it's really sexy when a girl works up a sweat' as a way to encourage her to be more active lol

 

[EyeBRollin]

We were supposed to play tennis at the park today. So she texts me 'do you still want to meet up for tennis or hike the trail behind the park?'. I don't really care honestly. How to handle this?

This is good. She actually wants to hike the trail but is covertly asking your permission to switch the date. Go along with it, act enthused about hiking.

 

[Gamisch]

Need some context. What's her status, you just wanna bang or LTR worthy? Did you kiss / bang her already? How often you guys dated? How did you guys met?

I would prefer hiking, bc it provides you a opportunity to be close to each other and make a move without lots of spectators.

Best option as mentioned above, try to make it an evening date.

Stay out the friendzone by all means.

 

[BadBoy89]

We were supposed to play tennis at the park today. So she texts me 'do you still want to meet up for tennis or hike the trail behind the park?'. I don't really care honestly. How to handle this?

Never like it when a woman changes plans at the last moment. Something happened that she “suddenly” wants to go hiking.

Never like it woman says “do you still want to….”

Seems like the date is becoming transactional, which is bad news.

If a buddy asked me “do you still want…” I would say “forget it, maybe next time.” I would say the exact same thing with this girl. “Maybe next time”

Don’t chase the girl. Be a man.

 

[Gamisch]

Never like it when a woman changes plans at the last moment. Something happened that she “suddenly” wants to go hiking.

Never like it woman says “do you still want to….”

Seems like the date is becoming transactional, which is bad news.

If a buddy asked me “do you still want…” I would say “forget it, maybe next time.” I would say the exact same thing with this girl. “Maybe next time”

Don’t chase the girl. Be a man.

Hmm you do have a point there..

 

[RangerMIke]

We were supposed to play tennis at the park today. So she texts me 'do you still want to meet up for tennis or hike the trail behind the park?'. I don't really care honestly. How to handle this?

If you don't care then go ahead and change.

I know you'll see stuff from PUAs and relationship coaches that will tell you never let a woman change plans because it supposed makes you look weak. So I suppose it's better to be a stubborn butt hurt little b1tch.

This isn't hard... don't ever let anyone convince you to do anything you don't really want to do. If you REALLY want to play tennis then don't let her change plans. But if you don't care... you don't care. There is a VERY good chance this woman knows if you refuse to change because you are putting on a "I'm the man!" show, and it makes you look weak.

Men have to learn to think on their feet when stuff like this happen. What you say is "Awe... I was looking forward to seeing you in a short tennis skirt... if we go hiking what will you be wearing? Some short shorts and a halter top?" Then smile at her. Never miss an opportunity to turn something sexy.

 

[Young OG]

We were supposed to play tennis at the park today. So she texts me 'do you still want to meet up for tennis or hike the trail behind the park?'. I don't really care honestly. How to handle this?

Have you banged her yet? If not, then why are you doing tennis or hiking for a date? Your not going to bang her with daytime dates. You should be inviting her to meet for drinks or over to your place to cook her dinner. Daytime dates are waste of time.

 

[TonyJ78]

We planned on doing both but there were a lot of ppl there and she said she was self conscious about her boobs bouncing around so we hiked the trail, sat in the car and talked, made out, drove to another park and made out some more. Honestly it's a tough one because we already almost had sex the other night after doing everything else but it went down when I tried to put it in so I said we should do it another time. I really like her but I'm not that attracted to her physically, though I want to be.

 

[Barrister]

We planned on doing both but there were a lot of ppl there and she said she was self conscious about her boobs bouncing around so we hiked the trail, sat in the car and talked, made out, drove to another park and made out some more. Honestly it's a tough one because we already almost had sex the other night after doing everything else but it went down when I tried to put it in so I said we should do it another time. I really like her but I'm not that attracted to her physically, though I want to be.

If you almost had sex already but didn’t quite close the deal you need to get her to a spot that gives you that opportunity again. In this context, I’d have invited her out for drinks and not gone the tennis or trail hike route. Those are good first date activities - they don’t really lend themselves to a lay opportunity though unless she likes it in the weeds.

 

[bat soup]

We were supposed to play tennis at the park today. So she texts me 'do you still want to meet up for tennis or hike the trail behind the park?'. I don't really care honestly. How to handle this?

Generally it´s a bad thing when a girl is making the plans. It´s better that you make the plans, so that you can put her in an environment where it´s easy to escalate. Women don´t know how to do this and they may not want to do this. Tennis sounds like a terrible idea because the place will be full of tennis-playing kokblockers and you´ll be separated from her by the length of a tennis court and a big net. Unless you´re Mr Tickle, it will be impossible to put your hand up her skirt from there.

 

[SW15]

I would prefer hiking, bc it provides you a opportunity to be close to each other and make a move without lots of spectators.

In general, a walking/hiking date is better than a tennis date in the pre-bang stage.

Tennis sounds like a terrible idea because the place will be full of tennis-playing kokblockers and you´ll be separated from her by the length of a tennis court and a big net. Unless you´re Mr Tickle, it will be impossible to put your hand up her skirt from there.

I have been a near life long tennis player. As a first date, tennis is a bad idea. There's not enough conversation and not enough natural escalation opportunity. As a 2nd-4th date, it's a decent idea. If you escalated a bit on the first date and at least kissed, it could be a decent activity that could get you closer to sex. I have been on a tennis date before and had make out sessions on benches near the courts.

Tennis, like any physical activity, can raise endorphins and make the idea of sex more desirable. Logistically, it is more challenging.

Generally it´s a bad thing when a girl is making the plans. It´s better that you make the plans, so that you can put her in an environment where it´s easy to escalate. Women don´t know how to do this and they may not want to do this.

This is true.

Have you banged her yet? If not, then why are you doing tennis or hiking for a date? Your not going to bang her with daytime dates. You should be inviting her to meet for drinks or over to your place to cook her dinner. Daytime dates are waste of time.

It depends upon your relational goals. If you want an extended relationship, a daytime activity can be good for bonding. Most daytime activity dates aren't going to lead to the bang. In a pre-bang stage, there are likely better uses of time.

There are day time drinking dates that can lead to a home bang. Some boozy brunch dates have lead to bangs. Logistics can be crucial with that, as having a place near a day drinking spot or brunch spot can help seal the deal. On a weekend, you can also get a woman to come to your place during the day for a bang.

The date most likely to lead to the bang is the date that starts at home.

Never like it when a woman changes plans at the last moment. Something happened that she “suddenly” wants to go hiking.

Never like it woman says “do you still want to….”

Seems like the date is becoming transactional, which is bad news.

I agree with this.

 

[bat soup]

True. But I was looking forward to using the line 'I think it's really sexy when a girl works up a sweat' as a way to encourage her to be more active lol

The problem is that she could just simply ignore your comment and say nothing or change the subject and then where did it get you? Whereas she can't just ignore your hand on her leg.

 

[manfrombelow]

Actually hiking gives you a much more suitable environment for sex to happen than tennis if you ask me.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Never like it when a woman changes plans at the last moment. Something happened that she “suddenly” wants to go hiking.

Can you be more specific? What are you implying could be the case here?

Never like it woman says “do you still want to….”

Seems like the date is becoming transactional, which is bad news.

If a buddy asked me “do you still want…” I would say “forget it, maybe next time.” I would say the exact same thing with this girl. “Maybe next time”

Don’t chase the girl. Be a man.

I also don't exactly get this. If they say "do you still want to, do X, or do Y?" Sounds like they're just offering an alternative. Why would you ditch a friend who says that? You may be reading into this too much.

 

[SW15]

There are few female tennis players that can play at the level of male players. Most semi competitive male players (not necessarily a male college player) need to find a woman who played collegiate level tennis to play a solid match.

 

[Bokanovsky]

It means that she doesn't want to play tennis. Why, is a different question.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

No big deal as long as she doesn't counter with an expensive dinner date.

 

[TonyJ78]

I invited her out yesterday because I was looking for something to do and she keeps saying she wants to hang out more, though I've been kind of keeping it more sporadic. I said we can go bowling or shoot a game of pool and I would pick her up.

Then a buddy texted and said his friend's band was playing. So I changed the plans on her lol. I let her know ahead of time cuz I figured she'd want to change clothes, and I was right. She had no complaints.

I took her to my place really briefly before we left to let her see it and we chatted with my roommate for a bit. Then we went to the show. Good time but neither one of us was getting into the music so I said I wanted to just go someplace quieter and shoot some pool. We did that until close then went back to my place.

She said on the way that she was on her period so I wasnt getting laid that night. I put on some music and I showed her my Oculus. She was touching on me while I had it on. Then we started making out. The boobs came out and she was really into it. I didn't try to escalate but was grinding on her. We actually kissed for a couple hours. Something about her just makes me not want to stop kissing her.

I finally stopped it and said I should take her home at like 430 in the morning. She kept saying how she had such an amazing night, wished she could stay and how much she liked me, likes the way I touch her, etc.

Man if I was looking for LTR this girl would be someone I would look at. We just click in so many ways. I feel bad though because I still want to meet some women who are more fit, even though I probably won't click with them like I do with her. I want to keep seeing her, I just don't want to be exclusive at this point in time, and I know she does.