Is she DTF or am I wasting my time?

[Illest]

I posted here once before years ago when I was thinking about leaving my wife - got a lot of good advice on here and I ultimately decided to stay put. We're still together and now have kids. Things are going well generally although the sex has gotten to be pretty rare once children entered the equation. I intend to stay with my wife, raise our kids, and grow old together. However...

I've always had an urge to get some strange. I've been with my wife since college and she's the only woman I've ever been with (and I'm the only man she's ever been with). I think I'll regret it if I never experience any other pvssy. To that end, there's a girl/woman with whom I have some history and have stayed in touch with very sporadically through the years. We were very close in high school/early college but for a variety of reasons, never got together. We hooked up once when I was engaged to my wife but only got to second base (pretty sure she was a virgin at the time and so wasn't comfortable going further). She currently lives in a different city and every few years, I'll be in town for work and reach out, with the intention of finding some way to fvck. She always agrees to meet but I haven't been able to find a way to escalate. First few times we just got food and the vibe didn't feel right to invite her back to my hotel. The most recent time, she agreed to meet at her place. I did some kino which she was okay with, but I still couldn't really escalate, and ended up leaving at the end of the night not having gotten anywhere. I'm kicking myself a bit as I think it was probably my best shot but I just couldn't find the right moment. I think the issue was neither of us really knew how the other felt about the fact that I'm married and so were both hesitant to make a move.

Next day, I figured I should be a bit more direct and texted her saying I'd like to see her again next time and strongly hinted at what I wanted to see her for. I also may have made a mistake by saying that it wasn't going to lead to anything. She texts me back with a pretty harsh rebuke, saying she doesn't want to get involved in my shady schemes, that she's happy with her life, and that she doesn't want to get into any complicated situations. However, she leaves the door open by saying maybe she'll see me next time I'm in town.

So my question is, should I continue to bother? The fact that she always agrees to meet, was okay meeting at her place late at night, and left the door open for meeting again seems to suggest that she continues to have some level of interest. But she was also pretty direct in her text that she didn't want to get involved. But then why the fvck does she keep seeing me (to be fair, it's like once every 3-4 years)?

Only reason I continue to pursue this is because I think she's my best shot at getting some strange without getting caught. I know her well, know her character, and know that she's not the type to randomly show up at my house one day. And the fact that she lives in a different city makes the risk even lower. I don't feel comfortable paying for an escort so I think this is my best bet.

 

[Stoic]

Op, no disrespect whatsoever, but there is no reason to write a wall of text about if a woman is or isnt DTF.

That can be figured out quickly.

You invite her to an environment where your intentions are obvious. Her place, a hotel room, wherever. Then, you escalate and escalate until you're in or she shows/verbalizes that she's not receptive.

No reason to torture yourself either way.

 

[Murk]

If you love your wife and just want some strange why not see a quality escort. You can pick a 10/10 and don't have to deal with this nonsense gaming chicks behind your wife's back. If it's the chase, hunt and excitement you want then ignore me.

 

[Machine10033]

If you love your wife and just want some strange why not see a quality escort. You can pick a 10/10

i agree with this...go to Vegas... get yourself a high end one. Wrap it up.... never have to worry about emotions... her showing up at your house... you slipping one past the goalie.

 

[Smok1nAce]

the point of having a wife is so you dont have to game women.

she should be pursing you, or at least be a mutual understanding of whats going on between you two.

like the other poster said I would suggest paying 200-300 for an escort.


But your using your phone to text another women about meeting, all this girl has to do is show your wife these messages coming from your number and your screwed, at least use a burner phone, where if it comes up you can say thats not my number. Ya neva know, but their are some women out their that will intentionally try and screw up your marriage, they will reel you in, make you do something stupid out of desperation and confusion then turn around and tell your wife out of spite.

Sounds to me like this girl wants to keep you around for whatever reasons and your naive to things.

1) does your wife know about this women?

2) if she does, why are you sending suggestive messages, that could be used against you. If she doesn't why are you even texting this girl from your number, that could be used against you.

3) stop pu5sy footing around either go for it or dont, if she shoots you down you have your answers. Could you game her for another month or two and hit it...yeah, most likely, but it gonna get more and more risky. She gonna become more emotional to the facts and will have a loaded gun filled with ammo from your affair.

4) She already really has a bullet that could end your marriage but it dosent sound like she emotional yet, that could change after you fuk her once.

5)did i mention to NOT USE YOUR PHONE or anything that could lead back to you! if things go sideways at any moment you want to be able to walk away clean. get a prepaid phone that if something happens you can say, "thats not even my number, that wasn't me texting her".




All this girl has to do is print out or screen shoot your messages to your wife and bam their goes you world. and its not hard to find people in todays world. Get a hotel, call her from the hotel phone, tell her to come over, she either does or doesn't.

 

[Machine10033]

One more piece of advice.... I have seen so many marriages or relationships end because the one partner shares “ the cloud” with their wife or husband and do not realize they can see their texts.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I posted here once before years ago when I was thinking about leaving my wife - got a lot of good advice on here and I ultimately decided to stay put. We're still together and now have kids. Things are going well generally although the sex has gotten to be pretty rare once children entered the equation. I intend to stay with my wife, raise our kids, and grow old together. However...

I've always had an urge to get some strange. I've been with my wife since college and she's the only woman I've ever been with (and I'm the only man she's ever been with). I think I'll regret it if I never experience any other pvssy. To that end, there's a girl/woman with whom I have some history and have stayed in touch with very sporadically through the years. We were very close in high school/early college but for a variety of reasons, never got together. We hooked up once when I was engaged to my wife but only got to second base (pretty sure she was a virgin at the time and so wasn't comfortable going further). She currently lives in a different city and every few years, I'll be in town for work and reach out, with the intention of finding some way to fvck. She always agrees to meet but I haven't been able to find a way to escalate. First few times we just got food and the vibe didn't feel right to invite her back to my hotel. The most recent time, she agreed to meet at her place. I did some kino which she was okay with, but I still couldn't really escalate, and ended up leaving at the end of the night not having gotten anywhere. I'm kicking myself a bit as I think it was probably my best shot but I just couldn't find the right moment. I think the issue was neither of us really knew how the other felt about the fact that I'm married and so were both hesitant to make a move.

Next day, I figured I should be a bit more direct and texted her saying I'd like to see her again next time and strongly hinted at what I wanted to see her for. I also may have made a mistake by saying that it wasn't going to lead to anything. She texts me back with a pretty harsh rebuke, saying she doesn't want to get involved in my shady schemes, that she's happy with her life, and that she doesn't want to get into any complicated situations. However, she leaves the door open by saying maybe she'll see me next time I'm in town.

So my question is, should I continue to bother? The fact that she always agrees to meet, was okay meeting at her place late at night, and left the door open for meeting again seems to suggest that she continues to have some level of interest. But she was also pretty direct in her text that she didn't want to get involved. But then why the fvck does she keep seeing me (to be fair, it's like once every 3-4 years)?

Only reason I continue to pursue this is because I think she's my best shot at getting some strange without getting caught. I know her well, know her character, and know that she's not the type to randomly show up at my house one day. And the fact that she lives in a different city makes the risk even lower. I don't feel comfortable paying for an escort so I think this is my best bet.

Are you fvcking her? Are you fvcking her when you want? With the right man she will be ALL over him.

 

[Illest]

Op, no disrespect whatsoever, but there is no reason to write a wall of text about if a woman is or isnt DTF.

That can be figured out quickly.

You invite her to an environment where your intentions are obvious. Her place, a hotel room, wherever. Then, you escalate and escalate until you're in or she shows/verbalizes that she's not receptive.

No reason to torture yourself either way.

I hear your point, and no disrespect taken, but my question is do I even bother trying again if it's just going to be a waste of time. There are lots of other things I could do when traveling for work.

If you love your wife and just want some strange why not see a quality escort. You can pick a 10/10 and don't have to deal with this nonsense gaming chicks behind your wife's back. If it's the chase, hunt and excitement you want then ignore me.

i agree with this...go to Vegas... get yourself a high end one. Wrap it up.... never have to worry about emotions... her showing up at your house... you slipping one past the goalie.

My wife and I share finances so I think it'll be difficult for me to drop a significant sum on an escort without there being questions. I also don't know if I can get over feeling like the girl's dirty.

the point of having a wife is so you dont have to game women.

she should be pursing you, or at least be a mutual understanding of whats going on between you two.

like the other poster said I would suggest paying 200-300 for an escort.


But your using your phone to text another women about meeting, all this girl has to do is show your wife these messages coming from your number and your screwed, at least use a burner phone, where if it comes up you can say thats not my number. Ya neva know, but their are some women out their that will intentionally try and screw up your marriage, they will reel you in, make you do something stupid out of desperation and confusion then turn around and tell your wife out of spite.

Sounds to me like this girl wants to keep you around for whatever reasons and your naive to things.

1) does your wife know about this women?

2) if she does, why are you sending suggestive messages, that could be used against you. If she doesn't why are you even texting this girl from your number, that could be used against you.

3) stop pu5sy footing around either go for it or dont, if she shoots you down you have your answers. Could you game her for another month or two and hit it...yeah, most likely, but it gonna get more and more risky. She gonna become more emotional to the facts and will have a loaded gun filled with ammo from your affair.

4) She already really has a bullet that could end your marriage but it dosent sound like she emotional yet, that could change after you fuk her once.

5)did i mention to NOT USE YOUR PHONE or anything that could lead back to you! if things go sideways at any moment you want to be able to walk away clean. get a prepaid phone that if something happens you can say, "thats not even my number, that wasn't me texting her".




All this girl has to do is print out or screen shoot your messages to your wife and bam their goes you world. and its not hard to find people in todays world. Get a hotel, call her from the hotel phone, tell her to come over, she either does or doesn't.

I appreciate the warning and it's possible I'm underestimating the risk here, but the main reason I'm going after this girl is because I feel pretty confident that she won't fvck me over, although you're right that things could change after we sleep together. My wife knows of her from a long time ago but has never met her. She lives in a different city/state, is not the type to get attached/needy, and is generally level-headed. But I think it's a good reminder that the risk might just not be worth it.

 

[Murk]

I really hope to God this isn’t me when I get married