I dumped her, now I want her again

[Bingo-Player]

I am in a similar situation although much further down the line

I broke things off with my ex because i wanted a woman with more "oomph" about her ..... problem is i am becoming more aware women with more oomph about them lack a lot of the qualities my ex did such as kindness and thoughtfulness......

i think its fair to say i let a very good girl go to pursue my desire and i suspect it could very well be something that will haunt me later down the line

Of course in saying that tomorrow i could meet a woman far more physically attractive with all the qualities my ex had and have the best of all worlds

I took a gamble , you have taken a gamble

Neither of us know if it will pay off yet.......

 

[EyeBRollin]

Recently no, I left the country in October 2020 which is 9 months ago. I've definitely not blown it, she wants this it's just been whether I wanted to pursue it.

Cant go back buddy. She can’t forget your actions. Move on.

 

[Gamisch]

Yes, I have before. I know I can get beautiful women and my smv only goes up. I just think the connection with this woman is strong enough to keep me around for life

I sent her the text I drafted earlier and she accused me of testing her, she admitted she is going on the date tomorrow after some probing, because she feels unsure of what I want, keeping her options open I guess? She feels she dersves to go oon a date as I'm not taking her out on dates. She will know after if she really needs to be with me, or if we wont work. I asked if that means if she likes this guy after the date, shes not interested in me, but she said no, but surely there's no other way to interpret that?

She wants to meet Saturday at 12pm, I feel like if I go after her going on a dinner date tomorrow I will feel like a simp/cuck

You sound rather confident when it comes to self image , I like that. The only woman on this forum gives you r/ relationship type of advice (dont know what to think of it) .

Realistically looking at it, I think you broke the connection to a point where she is ready to date other people. If genders were reversed, we would all salute a brother for moving on...

But hey, I feel you. In a similar situation. My strategy though is be a nasty , remorseless player for now ,trying to have my cake and eat it too..maybe that's a option? Or do you want her to stay"pure"? Cause that might be to late now...

 

[Murk]

I took a gamble , you have taken a gamble

Neither of us know if it will pay off yet.......

That's very true, a few months living together will be a litmus test and we will both know either way.

@catsmeow I have had therapy, it was recommended by someone on this site in 2017 actually, but never explored the fear of commitment angle, it's a new idea to me

 

[Murk]

You sound rather confident when it comes to self image , I like that. The only woman on this forum gives you r/ relationship type of advice (dont know what to think of it) .

Realistically looking at it, I think you broke the connection to a point where she is ready to date other people. If genders were reversed, we would all salute a brother for moving on...

But hey, I feel you. In a similar situation. My strategy though is be a nasty , remorseless player for now ,trying to have my cake and eat it too..maybe that's a option? Or do you want her to stay"pure"? Cause that might be to late now...

It's literally a second date with a guy, it took me a while of knowing her, then some dates to bang her, and she loved me from the moment we met. I don't believe sex is going to occur here

 

[EyeBRollin]

It's literally a second date with a guy, it took me a while of knowing her, then some dates to bang her, and she loved me from the moment we met. I don't believe sex is going to occur here

You shouldn’t care. She’s an ex. Move on.

 

[Gamisch]

I am not the only woman on this forum, there are two others and even more over the years, but one who still posts fairly regularly (over 3500 posts) and is highly regarded by some.

Just sayin....

Nothing but respect, takes some balls to be here. But of kinda stands out because you are the only one who has a "loving view " on the situation , and thats not a bad thing, but i notice most men have a more pragmatic way of looking at it .

You do bring some kinda balance by entering and explaining the possible psychology behind her dating another man in this situation. Most men just call it monkey branching ,slooting ect .

 

[Gamisch]

It's literally a second date with a guy, it took me a while of knowing her, then some dates to bang her, and she loved me from the moment we met. I don't believe sex is going to occur here

Date= sex.( meathead view ,I know) .

Does that matter to you?

 

[Gamisch]

Sometimes it's that, I don't think it is here though, based on @Murk posts.

I believe most who do say that just (kinda) try to protect @Murk, because if she does, he'll be in a world full of pain.

Other men also tell him he did it to his self by telling her to break this up. And from that pov we can only respect the woman in this story , which still is a valuable lesson for guys in a similar situation.

 

[Murk]

I believe most who do say that just (kinda) try to protect @Murk, because if she does, he'll be in a world full of pain.

Other men also tell him he did it to his self by telling her to break this up. And from that pov we can only respect the woman in this story , which still is a valuable lesson for guys in a similar situation.

My friend said the same things your saying. You can’t blame the girl and have to give her props for trying to move on. He also said it’s karma for when I did a similar thing in the past

She told me she still has the bush and is keeping it (she grew out a crazy blonde pube bush the last month or so that I like) I was thinking if it’s shaved I’m done she’s too self conscious about it to bang a potentia without waxing.

I know how it may read, typical girl on the CC after breakup but there’s no way this guy smashes her 2nd date quicker than me. Her body count is ridiculously low, she doesn’t use social media and I’ve been giving her the good D and multiple O’s these last weeks (specifically with this in mind scenario in mind, I didn’t want her scratching the itch with anyone), she called me a sex god which I’m keeping regardless if we stay broken up it’s my new title.

 

[Gamisch]

She might but it won't mean anything, again everything she does with him is to elicit jealousy, cause a reaction. It IS clear manipulation especially since she told you. And if she tells you she had sex with him (true or not) that's more manipulation.

You guys are broken up, there is no other reason to tell you.

So I am kinda torn because I DO see her side, you're her GOD and she's desperate, on the other hand, to get genuine props she should've gone straight no contact and not said a damn thing to you about any "other" guy.

At this point, with all the games and toxicity from both sides, my advice is don't meet her, go 100% NC and move on.

Work on and focus on yourself and why you make the choices you do and react the way you do.

You,ve changed your mind? Why? Interesting...wanna elaborate on why exactly your view has changed, since you were the one advocating OP should look at from a "loving " angle.

You just took away my last hope that true love does exist (just joking).

 

[Gamisch]

I didn't exactly change my mind, just viewing it from a different angle since reading his subsequent posts.

Re bolded, I don't think you were joking!! lol There's no such thing as "true love" (i.e. everlasting love, the "one," etc), it's true for that moment for however long it lasts, even if it's just ONE night.

Ideally longer, but like I said earlier, there are never any guarantees. Best to simply enjoy the moment, the journey.

Now you just sound like my uncle. A joke also has some truth to it so there you go.

Seriously though, this is the best advice men can get. So we kinda conclude OP 's fantasy of having " true love" been broken by him self , by breaking it up ,and putting this woman back into reality(in other words, OP is not the one, she needs to look further).

Somebody said it before somewhere here ; you get one real change per woman , and I liked that quote . Even if she ditches her date, the pandora box been opened and might never close now...might. And if it does closes, then we are back to the opening post, which was something about attraction ect ect. A perfect circle.

The only way this ends happy, is if she indeed "just" tried to manipulate OP, he learned his lesson and loves her ever after, makes babies who'll thrive to to successfull individuals in 2042.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

This is why I preferred to get dumped lol

 

[Murk]

My mental and emotional state is returning to normal. She's going on a date today and I feel fine, I'm doubting if I should even be trying to get back with her, it's probably a blessing she's finally moving on. The attraction issues will still remain. I'm meeting an old fwb tonight to take my mind off everything.

 

[LucianoM]

No othwr girls are paying attention to you thats why you want her back.

 

[Murk]

No othwr girls are paying attention to you thats why you want her back.

Nah I am on tinder and bumble and have a load of numbers and dates that I have no interest in pursuing. I’m currently in a girls bed posting this supposed to meet my ex later today talk