Show me what you've got, how would you respond to these?

[gwoppin]

Good afternoon, fellas,

I'm a Greek guy from London, tanned / very light brown skin, but I have very long and curly afro hair thats usually in a bun or braided with plaits. People will often comment about it, whether it's in a friendly small talk conversation or from a girl who's being flirty.

With the girl who's being flirty, it's easy to escalate that into playing with their hair, etc...

But when it comes to the friendly small talk conversation or a situation where touching / escalataing it too much isn't the best option, I have no idea what to do or say and it pisses me off!

These are the most common things people will say and ask me. How would you respond to these?

'I wish I had hair like yours but...' (start telling me about their past hairstyles, etc.)

Ask me how I take care of it and tell me how they take care of theirs.

'Woah, your hair is massive!'

'How long is your hair?'

'Have you seen (famous guy)'s hair?'

'My __________ has hair like that too.'

They say they assumed I was black / mixed race because of this, or guess where I am from - how can I make this part of the conversation more fun for us both?

Thanks for the help,

from your friendly neighborhood social retard, Gwoppin.

 

[BadWatermelon]

Style (Neil Strauss) said that the best, most confident response to a compliment is "thank you."

'I wish I had hair like yours but...' (start telling me about their past hairstyles, etc.)

"Thanks. Your dress looks really cute though."

Ask me how I take care of it and tell me how they take care of theirs.

"Maybe you could give me some tips?"

'Woah, your hair is massive!'

'How long is your hair?'

"You know what they say about guys with long hair?" (not sure about this one lol)

'Have you seen (famous guy)'s hair?'

"No, what does it look like?" (She might pull out her phone and show you or describe it, then you can steer the conversation somewhere else.)

'My __________ has hair like that too.'

"Oh, that's cool. How do you feel about it?"

 

[Gamisch]

Cant lie, I am balding so i am kinda Jealous haha but I bet I have other super powers..

I would stay positive, if she comments on whatever you got going on you've already won half the battle. Seriously, practice in front of mirror how you would continue. "reward" those women who are bold enough to step up to you.


" I would like to meet your_____"(noncencical excuse to get number or stay in touch)
"I'll tell you my race if you get me a Latte"(puts het on the spot, if she freezes you can flow up with:"or I'll get you one")
" I'm famous guy's cousin/brother( bs banter to make her laugh "no way hihi" type of reaction,like poster above said ,phones mightget pulled)
" I am on my way to the barber to cut it all" ( just a funny one if I was your wingman I would trow this one, I already hear the "noooooooo" from the girl, lol)

Or you stir the convo away from your hair into other territory, as the ice has already been broken and now you can show you are deeper then she thaught...compliment back for example (I really like your...shoes hair , jacket ect)

 

[Atom Smasher]

It sounds like you need to practice your small-talk, which is invaluable for developing good social calibration.
Lean on the side of a simple thank you, and maybe follow up with some kind of statement about it, like “It took a long time to figure out the best way to style it” or something similar that fits your personality.
I personally get that a lot, and always have because I have nice, loosely curled hair. People always say “That’s such a waste on a boy!”, even though I’m now 64. Their meaning is that I have naturally curly hair that women spend massive amounts of time and money trying to emulate.
I will generally say something humorous like, “Thank you. All I have to do is stick my finger in a wall socket every day to maintain it” or something silly like that. It doesn’t matter what you say, really. It’s just a matter of learning FLOW in conversation. It boils down to simple small-talk practice with both men and women.

 

[gwoppin]

"No, what does it look like?" (She might pull out her phone and show you or describe it, then you can steer the conversation somewhere else.)

I'll be adding this one to the list, thanks!

 

[gwoppin]

Cant lie, I am balding so i am kinda Jealous haha but I bet I have other super powers..

I would stay positive, if she comments on whatever you got going on you've already won half the battle. Seriously, practice in front of mirror how you would continue. "reward" those women who are bold enough to step up to you.


" I would like to meet your_____"(noncencical excuse to get number or stay in touch)
"I'll tell you my race if you get me a Latte"(puts het on the spot, if she freezes you can flow up with:"or I'll get you one")
" I'm famous guy's cousin/brother( bs banter to make her laugh "no way hihi" type of reaction,like poster above said ,phones mightget pulled)
" I am on my way to the barber to cut it all" ( just a funny one if I was your wingman I would trow this one, I already hear the "noooooooo" from the girl, lol)

Or you stir the convo away from your hair into other territory, as the ice has already been broken and now you can show you are deeper then she thaught...compliment back for example (I really like your...shoes hair , jacket ect)

These are all perfect, thank you for the detailed reply

 

[gwoppin]

It sounds like you need to practice your small-talk, which is invaluable for developing good social calibration.
Lean on the side of a simple thank you, and maybe follow up with some kind of statement about it, like “It took a long time to figure out the best way to style it” or something similar that fits your personality.
I personally get that a lot, and always have because I have nice, loosely curled hair. People always say “That’s such a waste on a boy!”, even though I’m now 64. Their meaning is that I have naturally curly hair that women spend massive amounts of time and money trying to emulate.
I will generally say something humorous like, “Thank you. All I have to do is stick my finger in a wall socket every day to maintain it” or something silly like that. It doesn’t matter what you say, really. It’s just a matter of learning FLOW in conversation. It boils down to simple small-talk practice with both men and women.

Haha I'll have to stick that one on the cheat sheet also

Any other tips for small talk?

 

[Bandolero]

Kinda direct , but say " I wish I could pass these genes ".

 

[gwoppin]

Kinda direct , but say " I wish I could pass these genes ".

Hahaha definitely gonna try this one out

 

[logicallefty]

I don't have long curly afro hair like yours. But for a 48 x year old white guy I have pretty thick black hair with very little balding or grey. My Dad died at age 58 with a thick head of black hair so that's obviously where I get it. If I don't stay on the haircuts it gets REALLY thick and down right heavy. I joke about my hair with people sometimes with these lines:

"I need a haircut. The birds are starting to lay eggs up there"

Someone says "I need to find Item-X". I reply "I probably have one up here somewhere (and reach for my hair).. (feeling around my head) Oh I just found a kitchen sink, you want that while I've got my hand on it?"

"I went to Grandma's house the other day, she starting cutting off my hair to build a quilt".

 

[forcerecon01]

I don't have long curly afro hair like yours. But for a 48 x year old white guy I have pretty thick black hair with very little balding or grey. My Dad died at age 58 with a thick head of black hair so that's obviously where I get it. If I don't stay on the haircuts it gets REALLY thick and down right heavy. I joke about my hair with people sometimes with these lines:

"I need a haircut. The birds are starting to lay eggs up there"

Someone says "I need to find Item-X". I reply "I probably have one up here somewhere (and reach for my hair).. (feeling around my head) Oh I just found a kitchen sink, you want that while I've got my hand on it?"

"I went to Grandma's house the other day, she starting cutting off my hair to build a quilt".

I have thick hair too but I thin it out with scissors every two weeks

 

[logicallefty]

I have thick hair too but I thin it out with scissors every two weeks

I haven't had the guts to try that. Afraid I will butcher it too much!

 

[forcerecon01]

I haven't had the guts to try that. Afraid I will butcher it too much!

Don't be! Easy process with thinning sheers. You don't have to thin your whole head all at once. I thin enough to take the volume down