She was lying about a dude, hard next?

zinc4

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Dating this girl (33 years old, i'm 39) in the last 6 weeks.

for context I live in a small place in Asia where a lot of travelers come and stay for a while, she is one of them.

When I first met her she told me about this male best friend she got here that came with her from back home, they were hanging a lot together and i kept seeing them at places having dinner etc. also I got a strange vibe from him that he doesn't like me.

As things got a bit more serious between us i asked her what's the deal with this dude, she told me "we tried dating each other for a bit a few years ago, it didn't work out and we just became really close friends since then" Ok cool.

Last night I came to pick her up and she seem sad, she told me that this dude was telling her this morning that he have feeling her and wants to be with her and she told him she is not interested, and they had fallen out because of that.

Later that evening I asked her more questions about this and it kind of came out from her that he was actually her boyfriend for 2 years(!)

So yeah she lied to me about that, i guess to keep from being bothered about them hanging out so much and being so close.

Besides the fact that i hate that she was bull****ing me about this, I feel like all this time I was placed in this disadvantaged place in the dynamic between the three of us, as I was the only one that wasn’t aware of the truth. this tbh makes me feel a like a fool when I look back at things during the last month.

My question as I am trying to wrap my head around this, would this a hard next for you?

OP......i would have been too busy trying to bang the local women if i were you instead of dealing with a couchsurfing sloot in the middle of a love triangle.

But since you are already banging her, i don't see the issue here.

You are or were trying to take her too serious it seems. Big mistake from the get go. Just plate her and relax.

Why should you care about the other guy? As long as you are still getting your steady stream of sex from her.

But she should definitely not be your main option.
 

Striker_93

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OP......i would have been too busy trying to bang the local women if i were you instead of dealing with a couchsurfing sloot in the middle of a love triangle.

But since you are already banging her, i don't see the issue here. You are or were trying to take her serious it seems. Big mistake from the get go. Just plate her and relax. Why should you care about the other guy? As ling as you are still getting your steady stream of sex from her. But she should definitely not be your main option.
He never said he was fvcking her
 

Glassguy

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I successfully dated a woman with a male “best friend.” He was a pvssy. Total beta chump. I was skeptical at first but seeing how cringeworthy he was gave me a different outlook.

Either way, I think women always have to be put into a position of choosing you. Guys these days next prematurely.
I agree. The more of an alpha IDGAF OP can be, the more she will want him and the more beta the ex will seem. He will literally chase this chick right into OPs lap if OP can have an abundance mindset and not show frustration over this situation
 

TheKid

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If you have to ask you know what you should do.
Otherwise youll pay forward for not acting how you should.
Dump her.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Dating this girl (33 years old, i'm 39) in the last 6 weeks.

for context I live in a small place in Asia where a lot of travelers come and stay for a while, she is one of them.

When I first met her she told me about this male best friend she got here that came with her from back home, they were hanging a lot together and i kept seeing them at places having dinner etc. also I got a strange vibe from him that he doesn't like me.

As things got a bit more serious between us i asked her what's the deal with this dude, she told me "we tried dating each other for a bit a few years ago, it didn't work out and we just became really close friends since then" Ok cool.

Last night I came to pick her up and she seem sad, she told me that this dude was telling her this morning that he have feeling her and wants to be with her and she told him she is not interested, and they had fallen out because of that.

Later that evening I asked her more questions about this and it kind of came out from her that he was actually her boyfriend for 2 years(!)

So yeah she lied to me about that, i guess to keep from being bothered about them hanging out so much and being so close.

Besides the fact that i hate that she was bull****ing me about this, I feel like all this time I was placed in this disadvantaged place in the dynamic between the three of us, as I was the only one that wasn’t aware of the truth. this tbh makes me feel a like a fool when I look back at things during the last month.

My question as I am trying to wrap my head around this, would this a hard next for you?
33 = geriatrics

#next get a throater &&& start your houdini disappearing act.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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I agree. The more of an alpha IDGAF OP can be, the more she will want him and the more beta the ex will seem. He will literally chase this chick right into OPs lap if OP can have an abundance mindset and not show frustration over this situation
Pulling hotter and younger is the greatest troll job. There no sweeter feel then pulling barely legal and running into a skank from the past.

Charge up your troll cannon @OP

Trolling as a hobby since y2k
 

Bigpapa

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I disagree in the sense that its gender specific. Not that women lie more than men necessarily, but women do it to preserve certain gendered goals that we do not understand intuitively. For example, lying to keep orbiters around. Most men don't bother.
it is the instinct . Human beings are still animals , even though they like to think that they have the power of thinking

thinking most of the times it is used to rationalize why you did something in the past . Rarely it is used for decision making process
 

_sideways_

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oh, but there is no sweeter nectar than catching a woman in her duplicity, making her know that you know and watch her try to gaslight herself out of it. Also makes for hot ass sex as an apology.

I usually take the sex and use it to escalate sexually to super rough behavior like a hand on the back of her head smashing her face into the surface she’s on, some vigorous titty slapping etc.

Rome is burning, why not make some sport of it?
Rome is burning...the ships are on fire...make the most of it.
 

Injess

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I disagree with all the answers in this thread.

Bottom line is this- you keep banging her. I am assuming you want an LTR with her. If so, she has to be the one to bring it up. Now that you’re aware of this ex boyfriend, any commitment from you is contingent on her blocking all communication with him. If she refuses, keep things the way they are with her being booty call until she gets rid of him or you.

Men, stop taking other dudes so seriously. Until she wants your exclusivity, other men (including exes) are irrelevant.
You shed more light on this, what you mean exclusivity
 
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