Let’s Settle This Once and for All! Direct AND Indirect Approaches!(Intent)

[Bingo-Player]

Below is a cool "direct approach" from a seasoned successful PUA. And he got her number.

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Him: I spot a petite Mediterranean looking girl walking along. She has an awesome figure, and I'm having naughty thoughts. I catch up to her, stop her, and use the tried and tested opener 'Excuse me, I just noticed you walking past, and I thought you looked really nice'.

Her: *Silence. *Blank stare.

Him: Usually a woman will thank me for the compliment. This one seemed a bit overwhelmed. Yet, on a street stop, a man must be ready to fill a whole minute of silence if necessary. So, I persisted: 'I like how relaxed you looked. You were walking along like there isn't a care in the world.'

Her: *More silence*

Him: 'It's different, because normally people walk like they're on some kind of secret mission. Like there's some sort of big rush. But you were very chilled out. Like maybe you do yoga and meditation, or maybe you have figured out the key to eternal happiness, and you can...'

Her: 'I take zumba classes'

Him: Thank god, she had finally piped up. We had a decent chat, but she started to panic at the number close..

Her: I'm really busy...

Him: Aren't we all? This life stuff is hard work. Tell you what, give me your number, and I'll invite you out, and you can decide then.

So I got her number. Probably won't go anywhere, but it was just the first approach, and there are plenty more where she came from...

This is way too generic and scripted can practically guarantee this didn't go anywhere

The best and i mean the very best can improvise on the spot

I can do it but only when the girls on my level if she's not it will crash

One opener i use in the gym when a girl is on her phone is " hey that weight isn't going to lift itself"

but after all the nonsense women have seen and heard over the years from "pua's" I can't help but think the tried and tested "can i buy you a drink" is probably the most welcomed approach

From there you can gauge wether she is actually interested

 

[Velasco]

but after all the nonsense women have seen and heard over the years from "pua's" I can't help but think the tried and tested "can i buy you a drink" is probably the most welcomed approach

From there you can gauge wether she is actually interested

Seems like a guaranteed way to end up wasting a lot of money

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Direct. Except if it’s at work.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Seems like a guaranteed way to end up wasting a lot of money

Whatever way you want to look at it you will waste either time or money on women that have absolutely no intention of doing anything with you

Men like think they have these magic routines that all women will go weak for it's nonsense

you need right girl , right place, right time you get those 3 aligned and you can only fvck it up for yourself

That is where "game" comes into play

But your still going to spend a lot of time or money finding that opportunity

 

[Velasco]

Men like think they have these magic routines that all women will go weak for it's nonsense

you need right girl , right place, right time you get those 3 aligned and you can only fvck it up for yourself

Umm duh? Let me put it this way so you'll understand what I mean.

Say you open 5 chicks with your magic opener that's suppose to help you screen out time wasters. Lets say the first 2 decline. The 3rd and 4th accept your drink but end up being time wasters. The 5th is actually interested and did not have a boyfriend. But either her friends didn't let you fvck her or you ended up fvcking it up for whatever logistical reason.

Drinks in my city, depending on where you go will cost you about $15 (not including tip). So your looking at $50 wasted on chicks alone. Solely due to your opener.

Now. Let's say I open those same 5 chicks with whatever opener. However smooth or basic such as "are you waiting to get a drink?" Let's say like in your scenario, the first 2 are also not interested in having a chat. The 3rd and 4th do entertain me a bit. But then "need to find their friends" or suggest, "wanna buy us a drink?" Telling anyone with a brain, that this chick is only interested in free drinks. The 5th chick is interested. So I isolate her to a couch and start chatting her up. Let's say I also end up fvcking it up with her.

That's $0 wasted on chicks. And the same amount of time wasted as in your scenario. If you want to use time as a currency. This is more how I do things. Because when I go out. I only bring cash to cover my drinks. I do not budget "cash for drinks I'll buy chicks" because they can buy their own if they want one (hell some will offer me their drink after noticing Im out of cash to pay for another drink for myself).

 

[TheProspect]

Both direct and indirect approaches can and do work, but your success with each in any given situation depends on a combination of various factors that include your personality, the context, the particular woman you're dealing with, and the rapport you have built with her up until that point.

Do what works best for YOU and gives YOU the best results. Tailor your game to your strengths

And it's best to have a fluid game where you can read the situation and adapt your game to it accordingly. Be water.

 

[9-3enthusiast]

............... and here’s the biggest one that trips me up. Other than just straight up subcomms, how do you make sure that the girl knows that you like her as more than a friend: that it’s not platonic? That there is “intent,” as you could say?

They're not stupid (well... most of them aren't)
If you ask for contact details, or try to arrange a date... they know your 'intent'.

I start indirect most of the time - For me it comes down to eye contact, I can usually tell if a woman is interested.
It does take practice though. No set routines, questions, or 'lines'... just speak about whatever the situation at the time.
I've been lucky I s'pose -Had a lot of practice from years of doing hobby-based presentations in front of rooms full of people.
It's meant that I'm comfortable talking to someone I don't know yet, and I've come to recognise the signs, and positive eye contact in particular.

If the initial convo goes well... great - If not just forget it and move on with your day - No harm done.
Or in 'game' terminology... Don't be outcome dependent.
The trick is to genuinely not GAF, especially at that initial meeting.

 

[Barrister]

Too much overthinking IMO. Be confident, approach, introduce yourself and ask for her name after you have worked your charm for awhile. All you need for an opener many times is just asking how they are. You can also comment on something she is wearing or something in your environment for easy openers. You can then have a normal conversation with the woman, there doesn’t need to be some highly formulaic way to approach it which women will pick up on and instantly get their guard up. You just need to maintain lots of direct eye contact, smile while she talks, and get some kino in here and there.

You will be able to quickly tell if you can get the number to set up a subsequent date (or if going very well maybe you get her back that night).

 

[2Rocky]

It is Simple....If you are in a bar, club, social event that is not work related, dance, etc. DIRECT. People are there to meet people romantically.
If it is in the workplace, a store, on the street, Start indirect. If she gives signals of interest, then go direct. Start with eye contact, and safe kino (hand and forearms) . She will signal if she is ready for you to escalate OR NOT. I prefer to be direct in private without people to overhear.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Over time, I have used the indirect method Roosh highlight in "Day Bang" mainly in retail outlets.

Remember GALNUC. C = Cool. You seem cool. Let's have a drink sometime. What's a time that's good for you? When a man asks a woman out for a drink, that's not friends. That's a guy looking to get his dicck wet. You're overthinking it.



If an indirect approach gets stuck, you're most likely dealing with a low interest woman provided that you have some sort of social skill.



I've never experienced shock on an escalation. Yes, an intent statement or action would be good. Especially an intent action.



Google killed that possible line. Same with the pet shop bit.

I probably am overthinking this though. She automatically gets the intent when you close with the C in “GALNUC.” That’s great. And then you can have a normal ass conversation instead of having to do all this crazy gamey sh*t constantly throughout the interaction lol.

 

[nicksaiz65]

There's no two ways about it. Like writing a program. You have a framework.

Personally I go indirect but indirect /direct. It still needs to be man to woman. On spring break or Vaca, I would be more direct and flash game.

It's not a either or. There's more then 1 way to Crack an egg. Field test. Try new things. See what works. Build processes but font lose the human element.

There's a aspect of randomness that you cannot shake. You just increase probability 8n your favor putting your best foot forward.

Yeah… gotta remember that you can’t be dogmatic. There’s more than one way to go about things

 

[nicksaiz65]

I read Roosh's book and while I thought he had a lot of good ideas on mindset (for example, his comments on how we men reject hundreds or thousands of women each day because we are the initiators and there are many women we aren't interested in so we reject them by simply not approaching, and his comments around how even if a woman might be interested in you normally, she might already have too many guys she is juggling so don't see it as a rejection etc), I am not a fan of his weird approach methods of asking for directions and then effectively criticizing her response by politely saying it's not good enough or not what you were looking for. If a stranger stopped me and asked me for advice and I gave it to them and they were like, "No... I was hoping for something more ______" I'd be dismissive and keep walking.

I usually use direct approach in circumstances where there isn't a lot of opportunity to discuss something relevant to us or the situation. An example is if I see a woman walking down a sidewalk and she's moving pretty quickly and I have to step in front of her (from 10 yards a way) to stop her and get her attention. For that situation, I feel you really need to go direct as anything else is going to feel disingenuous and awkward. "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice how incredible you looked in those jeans and I wanted meet you." We have been brainwashed to believe that kind of approach is toxic, wrong, or that women won't like it but it's just not true. 99% of women are flattered and respond positively (doesn't mean they will agree to a date of course).

If you are at a concert or show or shopping in a specialty store, there is some basis for mutual interest and you can approach indirectly in those situations. A couple years ago I was at the grocery store and an extremely young looking 23yo in yoga tights was looking at the organic nut butter selection just as I was. She looked 19 at best. So I started conversation about how hard it was to find nut butters without sugar and the conversation went on from there. The whole conversation was indirect and after a while, I simply said, "Well listen, it's been great talking with you but I need to run. We should get together for a coffee sometime." She smiled and said, "Sure!" so I asked for her number, she gave it to me, and I texted her about 5 days later to set up the date which she agreed to.

One thing I really like about direct approaches is that I find women act more at-ease and are more receptive to talking because there is no mystery about your true intentions. Women are under a lot of pressure when you start indirect conversations because they are nervous about your intentions - is he a pan-handler? Is he a scammer? Is he a rapist? Is he a complete whacko? Does he just want directions? Is he interested in me romantically? I find whether I am direct or indirect, usually during my first sentence women look at me wide eyed like "oh my god WTF is about to happen," and if I am indirect, there is sometimes a layer of tension that remains. It's not always bad - it depends on the circumstances and the woman. But if I am direct, I can usually see a visible exhale of relief combined with some amount of positive feelings (you just flattered her). And at this point, even if she has a boyfriend, she now feels at ease, she knows why you are there, she feels good feelings because of your compliment, and she is open to having a dialogue with you. Tension is not always a bad thing - it can be very useful, but we are talking about 101 level stuff here so I won't get into that just now.

Another example of a direct approach (though this was a warm approach) - I was at Target and noticed a ~28yo girl who was just my type checking me out as she passed me by. She was staring so intently at me that she didn't even register that I noticed her doing it and when it finally clicked in her mind, she looked down sheepishly and kept going. I should have stopped her right there but I just didn't so I went about my shopping. When I went to check out, she was also at another checkout and I ensured I finished before she did. Then I went outside to the sidewalk right by the exit door and waited for her. As she came out, I walked right up to her and said, "Excuse me, I know it's a bit strange to just walk up to a stranger in front of a Target like this but you caught my eye in the store and I knew I'd kick myself if I didn't take the opportunity to meet you." She smiled broadly and said surprised, "Oh, wow... ok!" and we had a great 10 minute conversation right there in the flow of people exiting the store. The vibe was great. A lot of smiling and good conversation. I told her I had to go but that we should grab a drink sometime soon, got her number, and setup the date. Made out with her on the date within 15 minutes of getting there (which was a record for me).

Most men are afraid to be direct because they think it's wrong and that women don't like it. You owe it to yourself to TRY direct approach just so you can eliminate that brainwashing and better understand how woman truly think and work and respond.

This is a great way of explaining it. I think that Direct Approaches can be very powerful in Daygame.

But I think indirect approaches have their place too, like you were saying. Like, they can be useful at night too.

 

[nicksaiz65]

You don't have to worry about it. If she is interested, she is interested. If she is not, she is not. Most women know that any guy who stops them to talk is likely interested in her vagina. Or at least that they are PROBABLY interested in her vagina. If she is going to reject you, it doesn't matter if she does it in the first 5 seconds, or at the end of a 5-15 minute conversation. And no, if she rejects you at the end of the conversation you didn't waste your time because you just gained a lot of experience and practice that you will keep forever. The more practice you get, the better you get, and the more comfortable you get. 90% of game improvement comes not from learning the right thing to say (that's the other 10%) but from literally undoing years of brainwashing and biology that tell you women don't want to be approached or that women don't want you to be direct with them or say this or that to them etc. Each and every conversation you have with a woman moves you further along toward this goal.



Use a framework if you get stuck. The one I use is to ask a general question, then ask something specific about her answer to that question, then ask how she FEELS about it or how it makes her feel or why she likes it does it etc, then say something about yourself that is relatable to it. Lastly, if you feel you are really out of things to say and have been talking for at least a couple minutes, you can tell her you are in a hurry to get somewhere but that you'd like to continue the conversation and ask for her number. But, you should never run out of things to say - that is a skill in of itself. You can practice this conversation skill on strangers - men and women alike.



You can but I haven't found I need to. "You have a great vibe" could be interpreted as platonic. If you are asking her for her number under the pretense of setting up a drink date or coffee date, she knows you think she "has a great vibe" and are interested in her. If she is really confused and clueless or you've not acted flirty in any way at all, maybe she is still unsure, but if she is attracted to you, that won't matter - she will want to go out with you in order to find out if you are interested in her romantically or not. She can't help it. If I go indirect, I smile a lot and have good eye contact. Women know why I'm talking to them. They know I think they are cute or I wouldn't have stopped them so no additional flattery/validation is needed. Having them wonder a BIT is good.



THAT one is cringe. But whether direct or indirect, there is no excuse for being on a conversation to nowhere. You can absolutely guide it. Just follow this: If you see a girl and can immediately think of some commonality (you are both looking at Christmas trees or you are both waiting in a long line for the same thing or you are both walking your dogs), start indirect conversation with that common topic. If you can't immediately think of a common ground, go direct.

One last point, I find it helps to qualify a direct approach by explaining that you are aware it's "unusual" to just stop a girl randomly. Because it is. It doesn't mean it's wrong to do it, it just means men have been brainwashed into thinking it's not ok and that women don't like it, so now it has become very rare. By explaining to the woman that you understand this, it qualifies you as being a calibrated, sane, not socially awkward or crazy person, and this really helps. I did this in my Target approach example I referenced above.

Great explanation. That helps me not freak out that the girl isn’t getting my intentions. Thanks.

Of course, I’ll write up some field reports and let you all know how this stuff goes.

 

[nicksaiz65]

This is the key right here. it all boils down to instant physical attraction. There's no such thing as 'indirect gaming' of a girl.

Which is why improving your looks and SMV should always be a part of your “game”

 

[nicksaiz65]

This just happened to a buddy 2 nights ago. Great looking dude too for you looks maxxers. Im talking he could model in NYC with 2 days training.
Girl gave his number. They texted back and forth for about 5 days. Cancelled and ghosted and had this guy a total mess the next day. Hella story too.
Inner game is were its at.

Yeah, it definitely happens. All you can do is get more options

 

[nicksaiz65]

It is Simple....If you are in a bar, club, social event that is not work related, dance, etc. DIRECT. People are there to meet people romantically.
If it is in the workplace, a store, on the street, Start indirect. If she gives signals of interest, then go direct. Start with eye contact, and safe kino (hand and forearms) . She will signal if she is ready for you to escalate OR NOT. I prefer to be direct in private without people to overhear.

Direct in the bar and club… I like it. I’ve experimented with it some. Either it goes really well or you get blown out lol

 

[mrskinnypantz]

I use indirect game , that's right ... I ease it in.
Being too direct can come off as a turn off , especially if you fvck up the approach .
I take it slow but that's because that's what works with ME.
for some reason the longer I know a woman the more and more attracted she may become towards me , direct game works for me sometimes , but not all the time.

 

[BadWatermelon]

Yeah, it definitely happens. All you can do is get more options

Seems to happen a lot more these days. Spam approaching is pretty much your only option.

 

[Serenity]

Ah, direct or indirect. What actually are these approaches? When I speak about it I put in technical terms what I do as instinct, I describe what I do. Problem is that the doing was never the problem, you and I can do the exact same things while getting very different results. If you're trying to emulate what I'm doing I can guarantee that you won't get the same result.

It's like jokes, one guy can tell the joke and make a whole room laugh while another guy tells the exact same joke only to get weird looks. Both direct and indirect works, debating which one is better is a diversion because it does not matter. How you pull it off is what matters, just doing what someone else is doing simply isn't enough, you have to completely own it and go all the way.

I have done the direct and the indirect, I know it ultimately won't make or break anything. What will is bad execution of what path you choose or failure to commit to one path consistently. Both paths work, it's just up to personal preference and committing to making the best of whatever path you choose to take.

 

[derringerG]

"Technique" is a very small portion of the overall picture.

No. 1 is your physical attractiveness.
No. 2 is proper escalation (context is very important)
No. 3 is general social skill and intelligence (closely linked to 2)
No. 4 is proper logistics

The opener or type of opener isn't completely irrelevant, but as long as it's "good enough," you are fine. Do not overthink this one.