What kind of behaviors/tendencies would you expect if dating this kind of woman?

[Sebastian0001]

- no father growing up due to divorce
- born in India but moved to US at age 3
- highly successful doctor
- 36 years old
- previous bf led her on and got her to move to another state in hopes of engagement but then dumped her after a 3 year relationship
- previous bf before that cheated on her and lied to her

 

[Alvafe]

chances are she is lieing, a doctor over 36, and no kids? she is paranoid, possible will not trust you, and after she get what she want you are ****ed

 

[Striker_93]

Who knows, everyone is different.

Idk why yall keep looking for these perfect women with no blemishes on the background,

You guys really be looking for jesus

 

[Sebastian0001]

chances are she is lieing, a doctor over 36, and no kids? she is paranoid, possible will not trust you, and after she get what she want you are ****ed

lying why?

 

[Robert28]

Who knows, everyone is different.

Idk why yall keep looking for these perfect women with no blemishes on the background,

You guys really be looking for jesus

Why shouldn’t we be? Women have just as ridiculous standards. Turn about is fair play.

 

[Smok1nAce]

Sounds to me like she highly educated and a romantic at heart. Falls hard for the right guy.

....If your that right guy ...

 

[Alvafe]

lying why?

because everyone lies? even more woman to guys. never trust what is said and yes what they do

 

[Black Widow Void]

My advice would be to avoid thinking in any extremes.
Avoid looking through rose colored glasses, but also avoid a "guilty until proven innocent" mindset.

On one side of the coin... she could've just been a victim of circumstance.
One way to gauge this is by her behavior toward you. If... (assuming that you're a stand up guy) she treats you well and you feel appreciated and valued, then she may have simply mistaken a couple of previous men for something they weren't

On the other side of the coin, she may be (unknowingly) revealing the type of men that turn her on.
Her having only two bad male experiences is hardly a pattern and so, I wouldn't conclude just yet.

In my experience, I've found that women that have a string of "bad luck" with men actually don't. They chose this type of man. If you look at women that were in multiple abusive relationships, I guarantee that the majority saw the signs beforehand. Either they chose to ignore the signs, or the trade-off (the thrill, the challenge, wanting what you can't have etc...) was worth the risk.

If you find yourself wrongly accused... having to defend yourself (though no fault of your own) ...or she seems to inadvertently 'push' you into behaving in a jerk-like manner, you'd do well to jump ship.

 

[Sebastian0001]

Sounds to me like she highly educated and a romantic at heart. Falls hard for the right guy.

....If your that right guy ...

where did u get romantic at heart?

 

[Sebastian0001]

My advice would be to avoid thinking in any extremes.
Avoid looking through rose colored glasses, but also avoid a "guilty until proven innocent" mindset.

On one side of the coin... she could've just been a victim of circumstance.
One way to gauge this is by her behavior toward you. If... (assuming that you're a stand up guy) she treats you well and you feel appreciated and valued, then she may have simply mistaken a couple of previous men for something they weren't

On the other side of the coin, she may be (unknowingly) revealing the type of men that turn her on.
Her having only two bad male experiences is hardly a pattern and so, I wouldn't conclude just yet.

In my experience, I've found that women that have a string of "bad luck" with men actually don't. They chose this type of man. If you look at women that were in multiple abusive relationships, I guarantee that the majority saw the signs beforehand. Either they chose to ignore the signs, or the trade-off (the thrill, the challenge, wanting what you can't have etc...) was worth the risk.

If you find yourself wrongly accused... having to defend yourself (though no fault of your own) ...or she seems to inadvertently 'push' you into behaving in a jerk-like manner, you'd do well to jump ship.

THIS IS ON THE MONEY!

I made the mistake of being a good guy to her, treated her very well, and she eventually told me she didn't have strong enough feelings for me. I realized I was being a 'just an average chump' or whatever the acronym is and that this girl has a pattern of dating guys who treat her poorly and that is why her feelings didn't get there with me. I also noticed that whenever I ignored her, she came running to me. How to treat these kinds of women exactly? I know the answer is "like ****" but I don't always know what kinds of things are included in that. For example, I was making fun of her ears one time as being too large and people on this community told me that was a jerk move. Isn't a jerk move a good thing though with this kind of chik?

 

[Black Widow Void]

THIS IS ON THE MONEY!

I made the mistake of being a good guy to her, treated her very well, and she eventually told me she didn't have strong enough feelings for me. I realized I was being a 'just an average chump' or whatever the acronym is and that this girl has a pattern of dating guys who treat her poorly and that is why her feelings didn't get there with me. I also noticed that whenever I ignored her, she came running to me. How to treat these kinds of women exactly? I know the answer is "like ****" but I don't always know what kinds of things are included in that.

Learning to navigate in these type of situations isn't as easy as responding with a one sentence reply. Here's the long version:

Those reading this should be careful as to not let a woman 'train you.' What I mean is... if we look for 'signals' from a woman (things that we do that prompt disapproval with her or things we do that illicit a good response) we are subconsciously allowing ourselves to be their submissive. I've been there. In fact, anyone with experience has been there (though some will deny it). This is why a lot of members feel so depleted after a relationship; they not only lost the girl, but they lost some of their identity and pride in the process.

While true... we benefit when we calibrate our behavior in most situations, it's important to be sure that the core that defines you isn't compromised. The odds are ... women will come and go in your life, but you'll always be with yourself. If you like and respect yourself, you'll never feel entirely alone, and also... you'll find that others (male and female) will usually respect you as well.

For example, I was making fun of her ears one time as being too large and people on this community told me that was a jerk move. Isn't a jerk move a good thing though with this kind of chik?

The idea is to create a 'sizzle' that is alluring and keeps them wanting you - ie; she's so close, but so far. If you make fun of their physical appearance (especially if the voice tonality doesn't sound playful) you aren't creating a sizzle. Instead, it's like she's opened up the grill to discover a burnt steak.

 

[Sebastian0001]

Learning to navigate in these type of situations isn't as easy as responding with a one sentence reply. Here's the long version:

Those reading this should be careful as to not let a woman 'train you.' What I mean is... if we look for 'signals' from a woman (things that we do that prompt disapproval with her or things we do that illicit a good response) we are subconsciously allowing ourselves to be their submissive. I've been there. In fact, anyone with experience has been there (though some will deny it). This is why a lot of members feel so depleted after a relationship; they not only lost the girl, but they lost some of their identity and pride in the process.

While true... we benefit when we calibrate our behavior in most situations, it's important to be sure that the core that defines you isn't compromised. The odds are ... women will come and go in your life, but you'll always be with yourself. If you like and respect yourself, you'll never feel entirely alone, and also... you'll find that others (male and female) will usually respect you as well.



The idea is to create a 'sizzle' that is alluring and keeps them wanting you - ie; she's so close, but so far. If you make fun of their physical appearance (especially if the voice tonality doesn't sound playful) you aren't creating a sizzle. Instead, it's like she's opened up the grill to discover a burnt steak.

Very interesting and I agree but I want "part of my identity" to be to treat women like **** LOL. What can I do to do this? What are behaviors that I can incorporate into my personality? I can't think of anything other than ignoring them or making fun of them in a light teasing way like if they say something, exaggerating it as to make them feel stupid or something. You listen to Justin Bieber?! I new this was never going to work out. What else can I say or do? I can tell you have a lot of knowledge and experience so would love some tidbits.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Very interesting and I agree but I want "part of my identity" to be to treat women like **** LOL. What can I do to do this? What are behaviors that I can incorporate into my personality? I can't think of anything other than ignoring them or making fun of them in a light teasing way like if they say something, exaggerating it as to make them feel stupid or something. You listen to Justin Bieber?! I new this was never going to work out. What else can I say or do? I can tell you have a lot of knowledge and experience so would love some tidbits.

I appreciate the compliment. Thanks. Any productive advice I can provide is from trial and error and growing up reading various psychology books (my mother was in the field and that house had countless books on the subject).

When I joined this site, I looked over their handbook. Overall, I found it to be straight forward and on the money.

I'd suggest that you start Here