How often should you see your girlfriend?

[odawg]

Hi guys,

Been a while since I have posted on this but its been a while since i've been in a proper LTR and I need a second opinion. I have been seeing a girl, who to be honest is not far from a 10 in both personality and looks, for 5 months now and she seems to be more independent than me which is a little annoying and I wonder what everyone else thinks is a "good" relationship in terms of contact as well as how often to see each other.

I'm 28 years old, she is 24. Both in London in good jobs, both very good looking, and generally getting on great but recently been fighting a bit and I think the frustration on my side is because I think she is a little bit too independent. We usually don't see each other at the start of the week much until a Wednesday or Thursday and then a few times at the weekend. I'd say on average 3 times a weeks. If I dont speak to her in person I will see her usually be in contact whether it is through email at work or she will ring me for a little chat at night, the odd day we might not speak that much and she might just send me a night night message.

Overall, I feel a little bit frustrated that she is so chilled and is quite a hands-off relaxed girlfriend. How often should you be seeing each other/staying in contact and what do you expect?

I'm going through several different emotions as I dont know

- 1. Whether I am not happy with the relationship and want something more, or

2. I am turning into a little AFC ***** and need to man up and I am seeing her enough.

I said we were fighting a little bit but in general I would say that the relationship so far is very strong and there are some very powerful and deep feelings there on both our sides. She is definitely not being independent because she is detached and cheating etc.

What do you expect from a relationship?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Hi guys,

Been a while since I have posted on this but its been a while since i've been in a proper LTR and I need a second opinion. I have been seeing a girl, who to be honest is not far from a 10 in both personality and looks, for 5 months now and she seems to be more independent than me which is a little annoying and I wonder what everyone else thinks is a "good" relationship in terms of contact as well as how often to see each other.

I'm 28 years old, she is 24. Both in London in good jobs, both very good looking, and generally getting on great but recently been fighting a bit and I think the frustration on my side is because I think she is a little bit too independent. We usually don't see each other at the start of the week much until a Wednesday or Thursday and then a few times at the weekend. I'd say on average 3 times a weeks. If I dont speak to her in person I will see her usually be in contact whether it is through email at work or she will ring me for a little chat at night, the odd day we might not speak that much and she might just send me a night night message.

Overall, I feel a little bit frustrated that she is so chilled and is quite a hands-off relaxed girlfriend. How often should you be seeing each other/staying in contact and what do you expect?

I'm going through several different emotions as I dont know

- 1. Whether I am not happy with the relationship and want something more, or

2. I am turning into a little AFC ***** and need to man up and I am seeing her enough.

I said we were fighting a little bit but in general I would say that the relationship so far is very strong and there are some very powerful and deep feelings there on both our sides. She is definitely not being independent because she is detached and cheating etc.

What do you expect from a relationship?

How often are you banging her? It should be nearly every time you see her if things are right.

 

[El Payaso]

You've been here since 2005 and you're still talking and acting like a beta.

 

[odawg]

Mrgoodstuff- literally every time I see here once or twice...nothing wrong in that department!

El Payaso- ha thanks for that. Can't say I've really been using the place steady tbh- and we all need/ think certain ways from time to time so it's good to get some perspective to knock yourself into gear!

I'm not worried about her interest levels or anything- she is literally head over heels with me- said she wants to marry etc., just wondering what you think is healthy for a mature relationship to contact etc as I can't help but being a little bit dissatisfied from time to time as she is super chilled which is just the way she is I think...

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Dude... seriously: don't destroy a good thing.

Hi! My name is Harry Wilmington, and I'm an introvert! What does that mean? It means that, as much as I love the people close to me, I prefer to spend a good portion of my time alone, in my own company, without other people around. Amazingly, despite this wonderful characteristic, I have managed to date women who totally understand my need for my own time - without them hanging around - and, once they've gotten used to it, haven't been insulted by how much time I need to myself during any given week.

So, in answer to your question... when I first start seeing a girl, I typically see her 1 to 2 times a week, depending on if we had a date on Sunday and I schedule a 2nd one for a Thursday. This goes on for the first 3 months. Once I've made a woman my girlfriend, I typically see her... wait for it, wait for it... about 2 to 3 times a week from months 3 to a year, and about 4 to 5 times a week after the first year!

All that to say... at the 5 month mark, 3 times a week is normal. Heck, I'd almost consider it over-kill... anyway, you're starting a fight over N.O.T.H.I.N.G.. It sounds like you have a good girl on your shoulders, and that you're starting to be a bit needy with how often you want to see her. Dude, ENJOY the fact that she gives you space - you know how many married guys would KILL to be able to get away from their wives every once in a while without it hurting their feelings?? Like, seriously - if you have a woman that gives you your space, bangs you every time she sees you, and isn't showing any major red flags, you're ahead of 97% of the people on these boards!

 

[odawg]

Dude... seriously: don't destroy a good thing.

Hi! My name is Harry Wilmington, and I'm an introvert! What does that mean? It means that, as much as I love the people close to me, I prefer to spend a good portion of my time alone, in my own company, without other people around. Amazingly, despite this wonderful characteristic, I have managed to date women who totally understand my need for my own time - without them hanging around - and, once they've gotten used to it, haven't been insulted by how much time I need to myself during any given week.

So, in answer to your question... when I first start seeing a girl, I typically see her 1 to 2 times a week, depending on if we had a date on Sunday and I schedule a 2nd one for a Thursday. This goes on for the first 3 months. Once I've made a woman my girlfriend, I typically see her... wait for it, wait for it... about 2 to 3 times a week from months 3 to a year, and about 4 to 5 times a week after the first year!

All that to say... at the 5 month mark, 3 times a week is normal. Heck, I'd almost consider it over-kill... anyway, you're starting a fight over N.O.T.H.I.N.G.. It sounds like you have a good girl on your shoulders, and that you're starting to be a bit needy with how often you want to see her. Dude, ENJOY the fact that she gives you space - you know how many married guys would KILL to be able to get away from their wives every once in a while without it hurting their feelings?? Like, seriously - if you have a woman that gives you your space, bangs you every time she sees you, and isn't showing any major red flags, you're ahead of 97% of the people on these boards!

Hi Harry!

Thanks very much for your comment. Massively appreciated.

You know what, you're completely right. I think I just needed someone to tell me this, and I didnt want to start whining to my girlfriend and becoming needy to her and putting her off me so I guess it's easier to just rant on this.

I am not very introverted, and quite a social guy but gradually the harder I have fell for this one, the more needy I am becoming because I like human interaction. But you are COMPLETELY right.

It's just when I see some other relationships which are more co-dependant I kind of think I want something like that, but on the other hand if she became needy in all likelihood it would put me off her.

Thank you for putting my head straight, I think I just needed a slap on the face (from someone else, not my GF! ha).

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Hi Harry!

Thanks very much for your comment. Massively appreciated.

You know what, you're completely right. I think I just needed someone to tell me this, and I didnt want to start whining to my girlfriend and becoming needy to her and putting her off me so I guess it's easier to just rant on this.

I am not very introverted, and quite a social guy but gradually the harder I have fell for this one, the more needy I am becoming because I like human interaction. But you are COMPLETELY right.

It's just when I see some other relationships which are more co-dependant I kind of think I want something like that, but on the other hand if she became needy in all likelihood it would put me off her.

Thank you for putting my head straight, I think I just needed a slap on the face (from someone else, not my GF! ha).

What if she became more "needy" and "clingy" and her solution for this was having sex more often with you and being more of a freak in the bed?

 

[odawg]

ha I don't think I would have a problem with that as we are already doing some quite funky things.

Problem is that whenever we see each other it can get soo good, like nothing I have ever experienced before (and have had 2 previous 3 yr LTRs) so almost feel like I become addicted to her in a way. She usually becomes a little bit needy once she hasnt heard from me first, but usually I have already become needy and am just holding it in by that stage haha.

I have just slapped myself on the face!

 

[odawg]

Hello all - it's been years since i've been on this website, but tonight I got very bored and for some reason Sosuave came back into my memory and I logged back in again (obviously I forgot my password and had to reset - duh).

Just reading back to these the old posts and this is the most recent one - looking back it is pretty funny reading the above, but she is now my wife. I miss the feeling of being such a chump and thinking so much about what to do/say, but the truth is, that is one of the most special times (the start of the relationship) - she was thinking the same thing and we had chemistry. The trick is keeping your cool and not over-doing it in either direction.

Over time you will realise that even if you have a 10, once she falls in love with you and if you are not a loser you genuinely just be yourself. Men naturally care a little bit less, so once you have her hook line and sinker, just be you. Really hot girls, esp at the start when they are in their prime do need to be gamed as they need to feel like they worked for you, but once they commit you just need to be a normal decent person and you should be fine. I do think that sticking to a few rules actually does help such as:

- never double text
- if your are wrong, then apologise but don't grovel
- at the start you should try keep some mystery and not see each other every day, let her text you as much as possible
- do pick up the phone and have a few calls too, it creates a bond and shows you aren't a *****
- when you do text, don't be a retard
- please do not do negs and all that insulting crap - maybe works the first few times but it's not sustainable + shows your are insecure
- looks do matter, make yourself as presentable as possible

Good luck out there - happy to take any questions if I ever log back on.

 

[odawg]

If you need her more then she needs you?? You got your answer. The rest is just static.
You will lose it emotionally. You will sabatoge your own outcome.

This going to be a "next" story on this path. Well fck. Old post. Message still applies

Definitely try keep your options open at the start so you don't become too needy, basically, but you don't need to be shagging 10 woman at the same time. GL sir

 

[odawg]

What do you mean? At the start you should keep your options open before you seal the deal so you don't become too needy (even if you are feeling it).

Over time, once you become more serious/exclusive and she actually loves you, then you just be a good normal guy. I just wanted to come on here and make the point. Sounds like you might have a little more learning to do sir.

 

[odawg]

Congratulations to you. I too am married.
Nothing personal. Just my opinion. Just the same old script. A man not doing something, alter his position "to not look like something"
Its all good but in most cases its the stake through the coffin.
You never stop learning bro. Good luck with your. "I made it"
See Pook for that answer.
With increased RP comes the ability to see men write their own demise with their own words.
Houses built on sand shall we say?
Good luck to you

Pretty much all I was trying to convey was that you can overthink things when you are at the start of a relationship as long as you keep your cool and don't mess it up. Was reminiscing on an old post and trying to give a little bit of advice.

I would imagine that most people who have used this forum tend to overthink things, so I was offering a little bit of hope + it's pretty obvious that if you overdo the whole 'I will not alter my position, I am always right, I am never wrong, you are an horrible ugly woman, I am bigger and stronger than you, submit to me *****', then you will never be able to sustain a relationship.

 

[odawg]

booted

read my initial post today re. Men naturally caring less / woman being more needy once they fall in love with you. Once you are happily married there is no ‘wearing the pants’. Usually it is the guy playing up and then making up for bad behaviour, and that’s just the way it is.

The fact you are still on here so regularly even when you are married and I am just popping to say hello after 6 years says a lot. GL

 

[odawg]

Ngmi

 

[Black Widow Void]

odawg I thoroughly enjoyed reading your initial posting and the years later follow up.

I suppose that perception is a lot like art (we're all going to have our own take on things) .

From my perspective, it seems like you arrived here with some uncertainty (as most of us do) but you kept learning, observing and evolving. I'm glad to read that this original posting had a happy outcome.

In fact, I also learned something from your posting. I tend to be a bit knee-jerk with women. I could stand to step back and exhale a little more.

Glad that you popped in.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

GF is always 4+ times per week.

 

[The Duke]

Hi guys,

Been a while since I have posted on this but its been a while since i've been in a proper LTR and I need a second opinion. I have been seeing a girl, who to be honest is not far from a 10 in both personality and looks, for 5 months now and she seems to be more independent than me which is a little annoying and I wonder what everyone else thinks is a "good" relationship in terms of contact as well as how often to see each other.

I'm 28 years old, she is 24. Both in London in good jobs, both very good looking, and generally getting on great but recently been fighting a bit and I think the frustration on my side is because I think she is a little bit too independent. We usually don't see each other at the start of the week much until a Wednesday or Thursday and then a few times at the weekend. I'd say on average 3 times a weeks. If I dont speak to her in person I will see her usually be in contact whether it is through email at work or she will ring me for a little chat at night, the odd day we might not speak that much and she might just send me a night night message.

Overall, I feel a little bit frustrated that she is so chilled and is quite a hands-off relaxed girlfriend. How often should you be seeing each other/staying in contact and what do you expect?

I'm going through several different emotions as I dont know

- 1. Whether I am not happy with the relationship and want something more, or

2. I am turning into a little AFC ***** and need to man up and I am seeing her enough.

I said we were fighting a little bit but in general I would say that the relationship so far is very strong and there are some very powerful and deep feelings there on both our sides. She is definitely not being independent because she is detached and cheating etc.

What do you expect from a relationship?

You sound like a chic.

 

[TonyJ78]

I have been seeing a girl, who to be honest is not far from a 10 in both personality and looks

Pic or it didn't happen

 

[odawg]

Pic or it didn't happen

odawg I thoroughly enjoyed reading your initial posting and the years later follow up.

I suppose that perception is a lot like art (we're all going to have our own take on things) .

From my perspective, it seems like you arrived here with some uncertainty (as most of us do) but you kept learning, observing and evolving. I'm glad to read that this original posting had a happy outcome.

In fact, I also learned something from your posting. I tend to be a bit knee-jerk with women. I could stand to step back and exhale a little more.

Glad that you popped in.

thank you mate. Definitely interesting to see different types of people in here these days!

 

[odawg]

DUDE - this was written in 2015! The post i made last night was a 6 year follow up saying all was
well. If you are trying to 'game' your wife you have mental issues.