How is life being single in your 30s

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I’m beginning to see the divide between people in marriage or relationships basically marriage at this point.

1). You have the guys that try and recreate the next hangover every time they get away from their partners.

2). People always assume I’m out on a date, clubbing, or doing something they wish they could be doing if they were suddenly single…yeah no

3). My biggest concern is what if I get bored? I travel, I do what I want, but I’m not even 30 yet lol.

 

[Chuck Taylor]

When I was on active duty and in college, I used to get lit every Thursday-Saturday night. When I got into my late 20s-early 30s, I quit doing that sh*t. I had fun being single, but now that I'm almost 40 and have my nest egg built up, I would like to settle down.

 

[SW15]

@Chuck Taylor and I are about the same age. I'm late 30s. Here's what I've observed about being an unmarried man in my 30s. This might not apply to everyone.

1. You are more likely to become somewhat of a lone wolf. It'll permeate through your life.

Somewhere between 27-33, a good portion of your friends with marry off. You'll receive a ton of wedding invites, wedding photos will be all over your Facebook/Instagram, etc. It can get annoying. A few years after the wedding cycle, baby photos will be all over your social media. While you may remain in a bachelor pad apartment closer to a singles dense area, most of your newly married friends will be buying suburban single family houses, getting a dog or two, and having kids 3-6 years after the wedding day. You will see less of your married friends, even if they are childless. Their suburban lives won't resemble yours. Your non-married LTR friends who have moved with their girlfriends also won't be much better about seeing you, though some of them might remain in urban apartments or condominiums.

Family get togethers will also be a bit uncomfortable. Your siblings and cousins are likely to have children, unless they are substantially younger. Even though childlessness rates have increased, it's still not likely that there will be another bachelor like you in their 30s in your family.

Due to lone wolf status, your nightlife options may diminish. You won't have any wings for nights out. Most men react to this by becoming swipe app guys. Some become mostly day game guys (what I did mainly). The occasional guy will roll solo at night, which I did at times prior to the pandemic. Rolling solo at night isn't that big of a deal. No women ever questioned me about it. Even when my friends were single, I never had good wings anyway. I rolled solo at night as early as 21-22.

2. You'll need to live in a bigger city or have a strong social circle in your current city if you want to date childless women.

In my 30s, I have not had much difficulty finding childless women. First off, I am a Millennial and childless women are more common in my age cohort. I live in a big city so I can go to places where I know childless women tend to congregate. I could also find childless women on apps if I wanted to, which I don't because apps are a shiit show.

3. Dating much younger can be challenging.

There's a lot that goes into dating a woman who is 5+ years younger, especially one 10+ years younger. In the first half of your 30s, a 10 year age difference won't be that common, but from 35-39, there will be women 22-27 you'll want to date.

 

[jaymbrs]

I don't disagree with anything said so far and can relate to most of it, especially the lone wolf mention.

As for myself, I have 3 good friends who are married but still manage to get out. I laughed when I read the "recreate hangover" part because it's true.

I think I have it pretty okay though. During the week it's pretty much all work and working out. Weekends I'll focus on my hobbies like motorcycle riding which on occasion I'll go with a group of guys (who are all married), go to the gun range, hit up a brewery and mingle. Going to a brewery solo is probably more acceptable than going to a bar/club alone, IMO. And if there's nothing else, I'll hit up Hooters or Twin Peaks to watch a game and chat with the girls there.

I think the important thing for me is that I'm in a very good financial position where it makes being single fun.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

I’m beginning to see the divide between people in marriage or relationships basically marriage at this point.

1). You have the guys that try and recreate the next hangover every time they get away from their partners.

2). People always assume I’m out on a date, clubbing, or doing something they wish they could be doing if they were suddenly single…yeah no

3). My biggest concern is what if I get bored? I travel, I do what I want, but I’m not even 30 yet lol.

It comes down to how you feel mentally and how you build your mindset around who you are as a man. For as much as we want to believe age is a number, there is a correlation between maturity, wisdom, and age. I am 35 and can differentiate my mindset when I was in my 20's vs my 30's and I can proudly say I am beginning to peak.

I started doing things I shouldn't have been doing since I was 12 and burned a lot of phases at a relatively young age. But still, my mindset needed time to solidify and reflect.

Now in my mid 30's I've learned to truly enjoy my own company and love myself. Something I didn't fully have in my 20's (this is also generational).

My vision for my life and my purpose are ever more clear now, and it excites me every day.

Friends do become scarce as you streamline your life, your values, and your lifestyle. But if you are fortunate you have a solid small group of friends. And lots of acquaintances whom you do certain activities with (grab beer, coffee, play a certain sport, see live music, etc).

Physically, I am at my best. And the older I get the stronger I am (old man's strength is a thing). This is due to being intentional with my nutrition and continuing to be physically active otherwise I can see going the opposite direction as metabolism slows down.

But above all, and in my instance, yes I've come to a phase where I can value and know myself well to know that having a family of my own is something I would appreciate and enjoy. I honestly don't think we are meant to walk alone. For as much as we all want to pretend we are lone "alpha" wolves, guess what? We are not wolves, we are human. We have an instinctual and genetic predisposition to building tribes and communities where family is at the nucleus of it.


Modern Man Advice

 

[Epicwinguy]

I know several guys who are single in their 30s and 40s. Its not as rare as everyone acts like it is

 

[Mike32ct]

Early 30s single is still mostly fun. Late 30s is so so.

40s - no comment.

 

[Epicwinguy]

Early 30s single is still mostly fun. Late 30s is so so.

40s - no comment.

What happens in your later 30s?

 

[Mike32ct]

What happens in your later 30s?

While I may have still looked 34-35 at the time, some women were turned off when they started to hear numbers like 38+.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

While I may have still looked 34-35 at the time, some women were turned off when they started to hear numbers like 38+.

Yeah at that point, you better have money to be able to pay out her college textbooks lol

 

[Who Dares Win]

Mid to late 30s here.

As I said in a thread I recently opened that got both support and hate, you will hardly get in your 30s the chances you get in your 20s.

While getting attention and sex from women is much easier, the quality is lower...when they say that women age like milk they are totally correct.

I'm not talking about simple looks, I can swear that they vibe differently, they smell different and taste different...think of morning bread ate at night which is still good but not as good as it was at lunch, that works even for everyday interactions.

The best improvement is control, you usually get control of your life both inside and outside.

Your social life wont be that good, if you manage to keep 50% of what you had in your 20s consider yourself lucky and not necessarily cause your friends get married but simply cause many places like clubs are no longer suitable ground especially if you are a lone wolf.

The same set of rules that regulate socializing at that age is much more strict than before, women especially want you to follow the handbook and unless you are a top tier you get socially ostracized if you dont.

The only thing that remain the same is that a good location gives you a bonus while a crappy one is a death sentence.

The trash you find on your way going out in london still amazes me.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Just turned 30 this year and finished a LTR last year , it was a kind of double or nothing move by me

Looking back she was a good partner and we had a lot of great times but the sexual chemistry just died

The LTR taught me a lot of lessons and i am still trying to paint the future i want there is an almighty mountain in front of me in life yet again

A few things i am noticing about dating and things are changing even at 30

1) there is a hell of a lot more external pressure to have your sh1t together not just by women but by everyone this is bothering me a lot and i can only see the pressure increasing as i progress through my 30's

2) Some guys i am seeing turn 30 and older that i grew up with are already finished in life i saw one guy i was in school with at the gym he had put something like 150lbs on and was struggling to walk i spoke to him for 20 mins and realised his life was already finished he will probably live in a zombie state until he dies , but even the more successful ones are seemingly burnt out by over demanding careers / family's simply repeating the same life year in year out

3) Single mothers aged 25-30 are absolutely rife and are extremely keen to bag a male in my demographic but they are also sleeping with anyone that will fvck them ( i am avoiding these like the plague )

4) People in LTRS are now seeming to look down their noses at anyone that is still single ....this is something ive picked up on in the last year ....you stop getting invited to certain events and become like a black sheep

5) you need a top 5% swipe app profile to get anything remotely decent ....i would say i am probably top 10% in my area and i'm struggling to attract anything higher than a 7

6) Instagram status and social circles preferably younger ones are very very important , if you want any hope of getting consistent sex

7) clubs are becoming tiring and too loud you need a very high level of energy an enthusiasm to run club game and mine is definitely waining also because of inflation the cost of a night out has now basically doubled some places are punting drinks for like £14/15 yea you read that right 15 bucks for a drink

There just isn't enough incentive or benefit to go out drinking for me anymore

8) Some people in relationships are already so petrified of being single they can't / won't leave their partners one of my close friends fits this bill ...... i believe these are the men who eventually hit mid life crisis in their 40's

9) women in my generation are bitter , rude and ignorant on swipe apps now i don't even want to begin to think what they are going to be like in another 10 years


All in all i estimate i have around 5 years to completely overhaul my life and settle with another LTR who at that point has to be "the one" or close too it

i don't particularly fancy moving towards my 40's single in the current economic or dating landscapes

Things are pretty dire now i'm not sure i see them getting any better

 

[EyeBRollin]

Women became super easy when I hit 30. I was also getting hotter women (6s-7s, even some 8s). consistently. The problem is the age of those women. The youngest I was pulling was about 26. While that isn’t bad, women 25 and under generally speaking aren’t checking for older guys unless you have a shvt ton of money or status. The hotter the woman, the older she usually was.

I banged a 35 year old at 31. She was a 9 in her prime based on Instagram photos. She had regressed to about a 7 by the time I got my chance. She was nice too.. but infertile. They all have problems at 30+. There is always a reason they are still on the market.