Is the process of getting a single date usually very difficult for most men?

[Mike32ct]

“Hard mode is the only setting.”

Perfect motivational quote. I like it.

 

[SW15]

Usually old for most people there is only one date.

Most dates arranged from swipe apps are the “one date, no sex, no second date” variety. That’s crap. Complete waste. Not even worth showing up for a date with that outcome.

 

[Robert28]

Most dates arranged from swipe apps are the “one date, no sex, no second date” variety. That’s crap. Complete waste. Not even worth showing up for a date with that outcome.

Men have caught on to that for the most part too. You hear so many women complain “guys just invite me over to their house on the first date! I want a real man to take me out!” Ummm that’s WHY they’re inviting you over instead of taking you out, they know the end result. If you say no to coming over they have lost nothing.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Men have caught on to that for the most part too. You hear so many women complain “guys just invite me over to their house on the first date! I want a real man to take me out!” Ummm that’s WHY they’re inviting you over instead of taking you out, they know the end result. If you say no to coming over they have lost nothing.

I’m really hesitant to do this because you never know how they look from their pictures and she could be crazy

 

[Robert28]

I’m really hesitant to do this because you never know how they look from their pictures and she could be crazy

Yeah I don’t either unless I met her in person from day game. Online? Hell no. I do the standard same date, there’s a cheap Mexican place near my house and then I’ll ask them to go for a drink across the street to this bar I know. It worked everytime but once when I was OLD.

 

[biggoal]

Yeah I don’t either unless I met her in person from day game. Online? Hell no. I do the standard same date, there’s a cheap Mexican place near my house and then I’ll ask them to go for a drink across the street to this bar I know. It worked everytime but once when I was OLD.

First couple dates f no!! There have been men robbed from old in this area of Florida. Always meet in a public place and i pack heat as well.

Same goes for women. Women have been robbed, sexually assaulted too from dating sites down here. One guy in his 50s was raping women around here from apps and of course the media explodes the story.

Imo one reason probably why old has gone downhill and more terrible selection to choose from. Reasons like this scaring them off along with more guys bombarding them. I notice many of them dont give their numbers out as quick as they did a couple years ago.

 

[sangheilios]

I've been out of the game for a while now, I think the last time I asked out a woman was late summer/early fall of 2019.

There's a lot of context at play here. OLD sites and apps are honestly a pretty big waste of time for most men, it's common to get matches and responses that ultimately lead to absolutely nothing more. You'll also be landing women well below your actual level, I'm basing this off of what I've seen other men pull from them and it usually plays out like this.

For real world approaches, I feel that the most important factor is general interest and how much rapport you have built with one another. If you have a pleasant but brief conversation at a grocery store with a woman it doesn't really mean all that much, as at the end of the day she barely knows you. Something else that I've observed is that many women are not all that comfortable with men that are total strangers and it's almost like they are looking for reasons to reject. For instance, you texting her a certain way and then she starts coming up with ideas in her head of you being a potential stalker or some other stupid crap like that. Women are far pickier now than in the past, there's a reason why so many men barely get any results in the dating world.

 

[SW15]

Men have caught on to that for the most part too. You hear so many women complain “guys just invite me over to their house on the first date! I want a real man to take me out!” Ummm that’s WHY they’re inviting you over instead of taking you out, they know the end result. If you say no to coming over they have lost nothing.

I hope you’re right that men are catching on to the idea that dates arranged via swipe app are generally worthless, even if they are easier to arrange. I have my doubts that is the case. Men are still vastly outnumbering women on the apps.

If a man needs to arrange some dates, he’s better off using any real life method of arranging dates. Those are more likely to be something better than “one date, no sex, no second date”.

There are some guys on the apps crushing it though! 6’0”+, muscular, and maybe they have a yacht or expensive car OR they have the tattooed dirtbag vibe going.

Yeah I don’t either unless I met her in person from day game. Online? Hell no. I do the standard same date, there’s a cheap Mexican place near my house and then I’ll ask them to go for a drink across the street to this bar I know. It worked everytime but once when I was OLD.

Showing up to this date from a swipe app & not getting anything is still a waste. Enough failed, low effort dates is still damaging on some level.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I've been out of the game for a while now, I think the last time I asked out a woman was late summer/early fall of 2019.

There's a lot of context at play here. OLD sites and apps are honestly a pretty big waste of time for most men, it's common to get matches and responses that ultimately lead to absolutely nothing more. You'll also be landing women well below your actual level, I'm basing this off of what I've seen other men pull from them and it usually plays out like this.

For real world approaches, I feel that the most important factor is general interest and how much rapport you have built with one another. If you have a pleasant but brief conversation at a grocery store with a woman it doesn't really mean all that much, as at the end of the day she barely knows you. Something else that I've observed is that many women are not all that comfortable with men that are total strangers and it's almost like they are looking for reasons to reject. For instance, you texting her a certain way and then she starts coming up with ideas in her head of you being a potential stalker or some other stupid crap like that. Women are far pickier now than in the past, there's a reason why so many men barely get any results in the dating world.

This is why I question the truthfulness gurus that use this method on the apps. I’ve encountered enough women on the apps to just openly invite them to my place on the first date.

Even on a cold approach, you can’t tell if a girl is crazy just by physical appearance at a grocery store.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

It took me 26 years to get a first kiss that went nowhere afterwards.
Now 27 and would like to get at least one more by 28. Part of my process is at least speaking with other guys with success in this area.
I'm reading through a lot of the material on this site, but seeing the shear amount of material there is to go through makes everything seem very daunting.
Does this stuff ever get any easier with girls about my age and younger?

I'm starting from absolute rock bottom: the only time a woman would acknowledge my existence is if they work with me or they are in a position where they have to for whatever reason.

Are there small and big things that you've personally done that aren't commonly mentioned to make things easier?

All the responses are pretty spot on. There are many factors on how difficult it can be:

If on OLD -

1) How attractive you are or appear in your photos (especially your first one). Your odds of even matching are highly dependent on superficialities.
2) Standing out in a crowd of a thousand other men hitting her up, and pretty much wanting the same thing and using the same tactics.
3) Being able to connect, relate and make her wonder to even consider seeing you in person through text (chat). Your texting "game" needs to be on the higher skill side. Send generic and boring texts and you will be out in no time.

If IRL -
1) The first impression is still important such as appearance, but less superficial and more about how confident/assertive you present yourself. Body posture, speech, vibe, etc, etc.
2) Making an impression that will want her to know more about you. Like robbing a bank, get in, make a bang, and get out. That's what cold approaches should look like.
3) Logistics. Texting still applies as she will give you her number and you will need to keep the momentum but also set the logistics for the first date.

Overall, it's all right if you have some experience, practice, and knowledge. But do expect hurdles which is why most men are opting to only pursue high-interest women. They will make it very simple and easy for you, no sh*t test, mind games, hurdles. Just don't be a jacka** and you're in the clear for however many dates and privileges you desire.


Modern Man Advice

 

[biggoal]

I've been out of the game for a while now, I think the last time I asked out a woman was late summer/early fall of 2019.

There's a lot of context at play here. OLD sites and apps are honestly a pretty big waste of time for most men, it's common to get matches and responses that ultimately lead to absolutely nothing more. You'll also be landing women well below your actual level, I'm basing this off of what I've seen other men pull from them and it usually plays out like this.

For real world approaches, I feel that the most important factor is general interest and how much rapport you have built with one another. If you have a pleasant but brief conversation at a grocery store with a woman it doesn't really mean all that much, as at the end of the day she barely knows you. Something else that I've observed is that many women are not all that comfortable with men that are total strangers and it's almost like they are looking for reasons to reject. For instance, you texting her a certain way and then she starts coming up with ideas in her head of you being a potential stalker or some other stupid crap like that. Women are far pickier now than in the past, there's a reason why so many men barely get any results in the dating world.

You can blame the feminist and liberals for that!

 

[Glassguy]

It comes down to 2 things:

1. A woman's perception of your value
2. Your charisma and ability to use that thing under your nose for a benefit and not a detriment.

That goes for 1st dates, 2nd dates and so on.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

It comes down to 2 things:

1. A woman's perception of your value
2. Your charisma and ability to use that thing under your nose for a benefit and not a detriment.

That goes for 1st dates, 2nd dates and so on.

I think my issue is that I look like I’m pretty edgy in my photos due to my hobbies and race but appear more tame in person because I’ve matured and these edgy males don’t make it past 26.