Should I keep pursuing or cut her off?

[jacktheripper]

Hey guys, I'm new to this forum and can't really make sense of what's happening with this girl.

So there's this girl I met a couple weeks ago through my friend and I asked her out to meet once. Well long story short, she showed up late and since I had somewhere to be, I left after meeting for about 30 mins. In those 30 mins, I got some IOIs. About 2 weeks later, my friends suggested to not play so hard and to text her to make her comfortable with me, so I did.

Initially, she seemed to have a high interest in texting but now I am noticing that she's losing interest in texting (Or i guess it's me who's getting clingy and expecting more). For example, when the conversation starts going down, she leaves me on read. She sometimes replies within 5-10 mins and sometimes takes hours to reply. And the most important thing is that she NEVER texts first. But she does flirt with me over text from time to time.

I was gonna visit downtown today so I invited her, to which she agreed. But yesterday, I just sent her a random meme (like just keeping in touch), and she tells me she's sick and that she couldn't make it today. (Idk if she's really sick or just making stuff up)

I definitely wanna hang out with her but now I don't know if or when should I ask her out again as she may have sensed that I have become needy. (and maybe taking advantage of it)

Please help me bros...

 

[Konada]

Throw the ball back into her court, she flaked on you "Let me know when you are feeling better and we can hang out.". Interested women will make it easy to get her out, if she is really sick, she will offer to reschedule wth a defeinite date.

Delete her number.

You spent too long texting and not pulling the trigger. Also, I wouldn't advise listening to your friends if they are not banging multiple women of your desired calibre, most of just the blind leading the blind.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady;

Firstly welcome. Listen. When you want something you straight up ask for it.

The man who I am engaged to (who I met in a very busy nightclub filled with beautiful people) asked me for my contact info. before we stopped chatting. The very next morning he texted me at 9:30a:

“I’d like you to meet me for brunch. Text me to make arrangements.”

He was direct, succinct and to the point from his first communication.

Direct & ballsy in a no nonsense way is masculine.

I got up, responded, met him & have been seeing him ever since.

Wishy washy beat around the bush makes you look indecisive or scared which is worse. Be direct & put it out there. If she rejects? Ok good. You got it over with. Doesn’t matter why so don’t bother worrying about it.

Now is she agrees and then flakes or shows up late? That is disrespectful. Call her out without being butthurt.

If she flakes?

“That’s too bad. Reach out when you are free.”

If she is seriously late?

Strike up a conversation at the agreed venue with someone else. Or cut the date short. Or leave. If she hits you up later or balks in person you say:

“Look obviously something came up on your end. I went ahead and made other plans. Hit me up when you are free.”

This communicates that you are not going to have your time disrespected and devalued.

And then meet other girls and don’t worry over this one.

 

[Mike32ct]

Hey guys, I'm new to this forum and can't really make sense of what's happening with this girl.

So there's this girl I met a couple weeks ago through my friend and I asked her out to meet once. Well long story short, she showed up late and since I had somewhere to be, I left after meeting for about 30 mins. In those 30 mins, I got some IOIs. About 2 weeks later, my friends suggested to not play so hard and to text her to make her comfortable with me, so I did.

Initially, she seemed to have a high interest in texting but now I am noticing that she's losing interest in texting (Or i guess it's me who's getting clingy and expecting more). For example, when the conversation starts going down, she leaves me on read. She sometimes replies within 5-10 mins and sometimes takes hours to reply. And the most important thing is that she NEVER texts first. But she does flirt with me over text from time to time.

I was gonna visit downtown today so I invited her, to which she agreed. But yesterday, I just sent her a random meme (like just keeping in touch), and she tells me she's sick and that she couldn't make it today. (Idk if she's really sick or just making stuff up)

I definitely wanna hang out with her but now I don't know if or when should I ask her out again as she may have sensed that I have become needy. (and maybe taking advantage of it)

Please help me bros...

Agree with the other comments. I just want to zero in on this piece in bold.

It sounds like, after your first date, you sort of ghosted her (or soft ghosted her) for two weeks. You likely lost some points in doing so.

There is no more "wait a week to reach out again" rule in 2022. It's ok to text a chick the same night or next day after a first date.

 

[Redwolf]

Invite her out to join you on a specific day and time. How she responds will tell you what you need to do. If she goes along or at the very least offers an alternative day or time that is good.

If she doesn't agree to spend time with you and doesn't make a counter offer you need to remove yourself from her life.

Women who are truly interested will make time for you and make an effort. They will make it easy.

 

[Black Widow Void]

If she flakes?

“That’s too bad. Reach out when you are free.”

If she is seriously late?

Strike up a conversation at the agreed venue with someone else. Or cut the date short. Or leave. If she hits you up later or balks in person you say:

“Look obviously something came up on your end. I went ahead and made other plans. Hit me up when you are free.”

I disagree. If this is her first impression; which is when we usually put our best foot forward, can we logically expect things to later get better?

Certainly not.

Not only after the first impression do people become a little bit more relaxed and can potentially take things for granted, but rewarding her type of initial behavior (by giving her another time to commit the same offenses) we would actually be enabling (giving a ‘green light’) for this unacceptable behavior to continue.

Chances are, she committed this offense in the first place… Because someone previously followed advice that BeExcellent has given above. And now this girl believes she can commit the same offense and still get a second chance, third chance, etc.

 

[IamtheAlphamale]

Hey guys, I'm new to this forum and can't really make sense of what's happening with this girl.

So there's this girl I met a couple weeks ago through my friend and I asked her out to meet once. Well long story short, she showed up late and since I had somewhere to be, I left after meeting for about 30 mins. In those 30 mins, I got some IOIs. About 2 weeks later, my friends suggested to not play so hard and to text her to make her comfortable with me, so I did.

Initially, she seemed to have a high interest in texting but now I am noticing that she's losing interest in texting (Or i guess it's me who's getting clingy and expecting more). For example, when the conversation starts going down, she leaves me on read. She sometimes replies within 5-10 mins and sometimes takes hours to reply. And the most important thing is that she NEVER texts first. But she does flirt with me over text from time to time.

I was gonna visit downtown today so I invited her, to which she agreed. But yesterday, I just sent her a random meme (like just keeping in touch), and she tells me she's sick and that she couldn't make it today. (Idk if she's really sick or just making stuff up)

I definitely wanna hang out with her but now I don't know if or when should I ask her out again as she may have sensed that I have become needy. (and maybe taking advantage of it)

Please help me bros...

If a girl flakes I think you should just act ok with it.

Ok

Or

Thats cool my friend wanted to make me dinner tonight

And then let the girl text you again b4 u go back to communicating

 

[Dr.Suave]

I met my current gf on bumble. She flaked on what was going to be our first date (she didnt mean to, she was legit sick).

She was all like, Im feeling bad, Im gonna take a test tomorrow for covid. She didnt counter offer (she didnt know she should counter offer if shes interested). I just reply something along the lines of "I understand, let me know the test result".

The following day she did text me "Negative, just a regular flu". I reply something like "Get some rest". I kind of ghosted for almost a week and ask her out again. She showed up.

 

[Redwolf]

I met my current gf on bumble. She flaked on what was going to be our first date (she didnt mean to, she was legit sick).

She was all like, Im feeling bad, Im gonna take a test tomorrow for covid. She didnt counter offer (she didnt know she should counter offer if shes interested). I just reply something along the lines of "I understand, let me know the test result".

The following day she did text me "Negative, just a regular flu". I reply something like "Get some rest". I kind of ghosted for almost a week and ask her out again. She showed up.

This is a good point, a lot of women don't have a clue they need to counter offer even when they are truly interested. I typically will back off then try again later. Sometimes you will get a positive response on a second or third try.

However if the response is consistently one of low interest you're wasting your time with her.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Omg, I got shivers reading that, Yes!!! I completely agree, what a turn on, I'm turned on reading it!

My boyfriend is same, direct, to the point, no nonsense.

I've dated other more "polite" men, fearful of being so direct, even re their sexual interest, especially re their sexual interest and it left me flat, meh.

They tip toe around, use plausible deniability, keep me guessing -- my advice, don't!

Be bold, be direct, if she's "offended," dump and consider it a bullet dodged.

JMO.

There is nothing ballsy about brunch.

 

[Chuck Taylor]

the streets have her now. best to let it be. move on. next time, don't text so d@mn much.

 

[MatureDJ]

Hey guys, I'm new to this forum and can't really make sense of what's happening with this girl.

So there's this girl I met a couple weeks ago through my friend and I asked her out to meet once. Well long story short, she showed up late and since I had somewhere to be, I left after meeting for about 30 mins. In those 30 mins, I got some IOIs. About 2 weeks later, my friends suggested to not play so hard and to text her to make her comfortable with me, so I did.

Initially, she seemed to have a high interest in texting but now I am noticing that she's losing interest in texting (Or i guess it's me who's getting clingy and expecting more). For example, when the conversation starts going down, she leaves me on read. She sometimes replies within 5-10 mins and sometimes takes hours to reply. And the most important thing is that she NEVER texts first. But she does flirt with me over text from time to time.

I was gonna visit downtown today so I invited her, to which she agreed. But yesterday, I just sent her a random meme (like just keeping in touch), and she tells me she's sick and that she couldn't make it today. (Idk if she's really sick or just making stuff up)

I definitely wanna hang out with her but now I don't know if or when should I ask her out again as she may have sensed that I have become needy. (and maybe taking advantage of it)

Please help me bros...

She has your number, so your balls are in her court. The only reason that you are so invested in this chick is because you don't have other options - otherwise you'd you be spinning other plates.

 

[jacktheripper]

She has your number, so your balls are in her court. The only reason that you are so invested in this chick is because you don't have other options - otherwise you'd you be spinning other plates.

This is very true.

 

[jacktheripper]

Hey guys, I'm new to this forum and can't really make sense of what's happening with this girl.

So there's this girl I met a couple weeks ago through my friend and I asked her out to meet once. Well long story short, she showed up late and since I had somewhere to be, I left after meeting for about 30 mins. In those 30 mins, I got some IOIs. About 2 weeks later, my friends suggested to not play so hard and to text her to make her comfortable with me, so I did.

Initially, she seemed to have a high interest in texting but now I am noticing that she's losing interest in texting (Or i guess it's me who's getting clingy and expecting more). For example, when the conversation starts going down, she leaves me on read. She sometimes replies within 5-10 mins and sometimes takes hours to reply. And the most important thing is that she NEVER texts first. But she does flirt with me over text from time to time.

I was gonna visit downtown today so I invited her, to which she agreed. But yesterday, I just sent her a random meme (like just keeping in touch), and she tells me she's sick and that she couldn't make it today. (Idk if she's really sick or just making stuff up)

I definitely wanna hang out with her but now I don't know if or when should I ask her out again as she may have sensed that I have become needy. (and maybe taking advantage of it)

Please help me bros...

UPDATE: I planned to ghost her for a week. Also, she got covid, so I couldn't ask her out on Friday. I'll hit her up next week and plan something for next friday.

 

[MatureDJ]

There is nothing ballsy about brunch.

The only proper time to have such an early meal is - outside of a college football gameday - after spending the night.

 

[BeExcellent]

Breakfast, brunch, yada yada yada. A man makes anything manly.

After a great date he said “What do you going on the rest of the day?”

I said “I hadn’t made plans”.

He said “Good. Spend the day with me…let’s go for a drive & get out of town…”

So we did.

 

[DonJuanjr]

There is nothing ballsy about brunch.

It's OVER for BrunchCels

 

[The Duke]

And I thought inviting a girl to a first date at a strip club was ballsy.....but brunch takes the cake. And there was that one time I took one to an adult video store....but she was a stripper and it was our third date.

 

[DonJuanjr]

And I thought inviting a girl to a first date at a strip club was ballsy.....but brunch takes the cake. And there was that one time I took one to an adult video store....but she was a stripper and it was our third date.

Reminds me of Taxi Driver

 

[SexManiac]

Hey guys, I'm new to this forum and can't really make sense of what's happening with this girl.

So there's this girl I met a couple weeks ago through my friend and I asked her out to meet once. Well long story short, she showed up late and since I had somewhere to be, I left after meeting for about 30 mins. In those 30 mins, I got some IOIs. About 2 weeks later, my friends suggested to not play so hard and to text her to make her comfortable with me, so I did.

Initially, she seemed to have a high interest in texting but now I am noticing that she's losing interest in texting (Or i guess it's me who's getting clingy and expecting more). For example, when the conversation starts going down, she leaves me on read. She sometimes replies within 5-10 mins and sometimes takes hours to reply. And the most important thing is that she NEVER texts first. But she does flirt with me over text from time to time.

I was gonna visit downtown today so I invited her, to which she agreed. But yesterday, I just sent her a random meme (like just keeping in touch), and she tells me she's sick and that she couldn't make it today. (Idk if she's really sick or just making stuff up)

I definitely wanna hang out with her but now I don't know if or when should I ask her out again as she may have sensed that I have become needy. (and maybe taking advantage of it)

Please help me bros...

Hard To tell you bro but she is low interest,, better you can do is Next Her, if You accomplish to take her on a date, I am sure you will ALSO complain here about how bad the date was, lol