The single biggest trait I have seen in men that suck with women.

[Epicenter]

i've noticed some on this forum are doomsday naysayers who like to look at everything through a pessimistic lens. like, f*ck, did your dogs all die or something?

Maybe it is just your perception. Using the brain and science might help rather than your emotions

 

[Bigpapa]

I know we can talk about looks, game, status, or whatever. We can talk about how one guy is awkward compared to others as well. I have over the years, seen one trait or characteristic, that sets men who slay apart from men who do awful with women. Now the reason I mention this trait here is because I have noticed that almost every single guy I knew who did horribly with women had this trait. Like I have rarely met an exception to this rule and whenever I saw this trait in a guy, come to find he had girl problems. That trait is....

How they respond to adversity and inconvenient situations
​

If you guys do not watch Bill Burr, I highly recommend getting into his content. One skit that sticks with me to this very day is the one about him being on a plane with turbulence, here it is. Now on a longer version of the skit he talks about how some woman is going to have kids with that guy and we will become weaker as a species. The reason I share that video is because this is something I have noticed almost every single time in men that struggle with women and with the game. The guys you see posts from on here crying about being virgins at a certain age, talking about how X city sucks for dating, how impossible the game has become, how hypergamy has ruined everything, and how we need to go back to how things need to be? They likely share this trait.

I remember being in middle school and we had to go on a class trip somewhere. Some kid had to pee real bad and this guy whined on the whole trip about how badly he has to pee and how much it sucks right now because he cannot pee. The trip got so bad that the kid was turning red and almost crying because he could not pee and the teachers had to calm him down. Truth is that a couple other guys also had to pee but they pretended that they did not. Fast forward to almost a decade and what do I notice?

Kid that whines about having to pee grows into an adult whose Facebook posts are super left leaning, talks about how toxic masculinity is ruining everything, and occasionally breaks down on Facebook statuses wishing that he could find a girl. Meanwhile, one of the two kids I kept in touch with who were not vocal about having to pee? He ends up moving to a big city, is living the life, has stories uploaded of him partying hard with hot girls (before COVID happened), and now has a different girl in his stories every few months.

Take the situation of the current abysmal sexual market place.

Yeah, things have gotten tougher for men. Now let me break down how one guy responds versus the other.

Guy 1 accepts that things are different and starts figuring out what is working for men out there doing well. Maybe he hits the gym, maybe he talks to more random women, maybe he moves to a different city, maybe he gets a good Instagram account, or maybe he finds some niche. The way his mind is working, as much as he accepts that things are different, he is working to find answers and solutions to his problems. No doubt that he will struggle during this process. Perhaps he is getting rejected too much, maybe his profile has not matches, and his Instagram barely gets any likes. Yet, Guy 1 keeps going, failing, trying, making adjustments, and after a while he starts to see some success. Is he doing supermodels? No, but he isn't exactly an incel either.

When adversity hits Guy 1 which it will in the form of rejections and other things, he shakes it off and keeps on going. It's like when they say NFL Quarterbacks need to have a short memory, Guy 1 has that. He gets rejected hard at the club and while most men will curl up and die, he keeps going until he figures it out or finds a better avenue. Rarely is he bitter for a prolonged amount of time.

Guy 2 hears the news and while deep down inside he fantasizes about success, he finds a "support group" and you guys know where I am going with this. Guy 2 will join a forum like maybe this one and talk about how he cannot get laid because of his height, race, past trauma, etc (all legitimate excuses by the way). You will find plenty of Guy 2s on your resident incel forums. Now logic will say that if these men are so down on themselves and feel like it is so hopeless, why don't they just quit their pursuit of dating success altogether and quit posting on dating forums and communities? Like why do they even stick around? They can spend those hours in another worthwhile hobby or even a skill to make a ton of cash.

Yet, that is the DNA of Guy 2. Guy 2 doesn't want to accept that he has failed but at the same time, has too delicate of an ego and is so sensitive that he wants to be coddled. In a way, Guy 2 is very much like women and children but society has no place for men who act like a woman or a child. Guy 2 wants the path of least resistance, the hand of big government to take care of him, and he genuinely wants to be treated like a little princess. Even having a woman that has sex with him is not enough, he wants people to feel sorry for him and to stick a pacifier in him. It is why no matter what you tell him, he will always whine.

Once again, you have an adverse situation with the current dating market but look at how winners react differently than the vast majority of losers. The truth is that what Guy 1 has done is infinitely harder than Guy 2. It's easy to curl up, cry, beg for someone to be your pacifier, and hope that Superman comes to save you. Meanwhile, it is tough as nails to get rejected, have your ego crushed, take risks, have society spit on you because you want to sleep with a lot of different women, make adjustments in who you are, and still keep on going.

In adverse situations, women ultimately look for the man who will not cry with them but the one who they can lean on. Women want the guy who, when sh1t hits the fan, can stand his ground and protect him. Guy 1 is going to be that guy. Guy 2 will be the one right there begging to be on the boat with the women and children because there is a lot he has in common with them.

the guys who do not get laid are the guys who are risk adverse . Basically being rejected by a woman is a super big deal for them

Then they become conspiracy theoretists or just give up entirely trying as they think that it is no use to even try

life is about taking risks , calculated risks especially

the only way to get something that you do not got is to try to get it , and to learn from your mistakes

basically you have to learn to tame chaos, and use it in your own advantage

Remember , the guy who sleeps with the most women is also the most rejected by women

and he who hesitates , masturbates

 

[Hamurabimbi]

The failures I see are:
1) simply not trying. If you don’t play, you can’t win.
2) failing to adjust behavior to their SMV. I know guys who are Average at best, imposing demands & affecting attitudes on women that only Chads can get away with. They get ghosted fast. Not saying they need to simp, but calibrate to reality would serve them better.

 

[HaleyBaron]

OP,

Again, there are certain aspects of your post that I agree with. But you clearly are here to simply start arguments (aka "trolling") when you make comments about how the guys like "Guy 2" in your post "end up at places like this forum."

Men are welcome here to discuss any variety of topics concerning women or otherwise. All of us come from different backgrounds and are working with different physical traits. Your post reeks of condescension which, for a guy who just joined a week ago, isn't the best look and isn't going to garner you many friends on this forum.

You come on here and act like you have all of the answers. Instead of posting your heavy-handed posts where you basically over-generalize, why not engage in the discussions on here themselves? You may find that some people here know a lot more than you seemingly are giving them credit for. You may even learn a thing or two.

The real problem with those types is that they don't learn to earn their place. If I walked into a club that I was new at, I'm not going to walk around like I own the place. I'm going to stay back, get in the b*tch seat [cause that's what it is], and learn the atmosphere. Make some friends. Then when you are seasoned enough, you can start doing stuff like going at the mods like I do. =)

 

[Epicwinguy]

The single biggest trait I’ve noticed is social awkwardness and being pushovers.

 

[Slowhandluke]

The single biggest trait I’ve noticed is social awkwardness and being pushovers.

There's this story I was told one time:

There was a tribe of 20 monkeys. 10 males and 10 females; out of the 10 males, 3 of the monkeys were alpha. They could swing the fastest, they could coo the sexiest, and had the reddest of butts (a trait that females monkeys like).

Well one day, a lower tier monkeys noticed that all the females monkey were having sex with just those 3 alphas monkeys. Other lower tiered monkeys noticed to. They stopped picking the fruit from the trees for a few moments; but continued to pick fruits, tender leaves and ants.. and do what regular monkeys do..

As the days pass, the 3 alpha monkeys keep on having sex with the all of the females; this time they were being loud. The regular, awkward monkeys could hear the shrieks and moaning. Finally, one of the regular monkeys threw his persimmon on the ground and walked to each of the other 6 monkeys. In their huddle, they grunted, hopped up and down; and pointed in the direction of the females and the alphas. Finally, one of the regular monkeys took a stick from the ground.. another monkey took a rock. and yet another took nothing, but clinched his fist... They all armed themselves some way, some how and made direction towards the sound..

3 days later, instead of a tribe of 20 monkeys; there was now only a tribe of 17 monkeys. Now instead of loud sexual noises through the day and night. There were only quieter sexual noises at night.

I'm just saying.... There is also a phrase: "there is a certain quality to quantity"..

 

[Bigpapa]

There's this story I was told one time:

There was a tribe of 20 monkeys. 10 males and 10 females; out of the 10 males, 3 of the monkeys were alpha. They could swing the fastest, they could coo the sexiest, and had the reddest of butts (a trait that females monkeys like).

Well one day, a lower tier monkeys noticed that all the females monkey were having sex with just those 3 alphas monkeys. Other lower tiered monkeys noticed to. They stopped picking the fruit from the trees for a few moments; but continued to pick fruits, tender leaves and ants.. and do what regular monkeys do..

As the days pass, the 3 alpha monkeys keep on having sex with the all of the females; this time they were being loud. The regular, awkward monkeys could hear the shrieks and moaning. Finally, one of the regular monkeys threw his persimmon on the ground and walked to each of the other 6 monkeys. In their huddle, they grunted, hopped up and down; and pointed in the direction of the females and the alphas. Finally, one of the regular monkeys took a stick from the ground.. another monkey took a rock. and yet another took nothing, but clinched his fist... They all armed themselves some way, some how and made direction towards the sound..

3 days later, instead of a tribe of 20 monkeys; there was now only a tribe of 17 monkeys. Now instead of loud sexual noises through the day and night. There were only quieter sexual noises at night.

I'm just saying.... There is also a phrase: "there is a certain quality to quantity"..

this is a very leftist thing .

so the moral of the story is instead of understanding how things work and hone skills that are needed to enjoy a good life , we should “kill” those who are enjoying life ?

because what ? Envy is better than actually becoming something worth of respect ?

 

[Epicwinguy]

this is a very leftist thing .

so the moral of the story is instead of understanding how things work and hone skills that are needed to enjoy a good life , we should “kill” those who are enjoying life ?

because what ? Envy is better than actually becoming something worth of respect ?

Group efforts win in the end. I get laid because I’m part of a social group lol. There is even a thread here where girly activities get you laid more often than manly ones.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Then they become conspiracy theoretists or just give up entirely trying as they think that it is no use to even try

this is a very leftist thing .

so the moral of the story is instead of understanding how things work and hone skills that are needed to enjoy a good life , we should “kill” those who are enjoying life ?

because what ? Envy is better than actually becoming something worth of respect ?

It's a good thing there's no international conspiracy underway to instill worldwide communism lolol

 

[Bigpapa]

It's a good thing there's no international conspiracy underway to instill worldwide communism lolol

why is that ?

average guys are ok with equality among people , as they think that they will have a better chance to get laid or whatever they imagine

As growing up in a former communist country I can tell you that the elite of communism was way worse than the elite of capitalism , and were even more obscene in conspicuous consumption

 

[Epicwinguy]

why is that ?

average guys are ok with equality among people , as they think that they will have a better chance to get laid or whatever they imagine

As growing up in a former communist country I can tell you that the elite of communism was way worse than the elite of capitalism , and were even more obscene in conspicuous consumption

Since politics is being brought up I am sure somewhere in the middle is ideal.

 

[HaleyBaron]

Group efforts win in the end. I get laid because I’m part of a social group lol. There is even a thread here where girly activities get you laid more often than manly ones.

The problem with that story as it's familiar with another subject I've learned on alpha behavior is that it did not mean that the three monkeys were alphas. It meant they were just the most brute force. The alpha is the one who is at the top and has the social intelligence to blend in. One can say that maybe the tribal behavior of killing the brutes led to the evolution of smarter alphas, but violence is never alpha, and solving problems with childish solutions is not evidence of good behavior. In fact, it's more communist in nature.

 

[Slowhandluke]

The alpha is the one who is at the top and has the social intelligence to blend in. One can say that maybe the tribal behavior of killing the brutes led to the evolution of smarter alphas, but violence is never alpha, and solving problems with childish solutions is not evidence of good behavior. In fact, it's more communist in nature.

How can the 3 "alpha" monkeys blend in when every regular male monkey obviously knows that those three monkeys were the only ones mating? The only ones with the "resources"?

No matter how smart the 3 monkeys are, they will never be able to hide this fact for long.

This is just a theory, but it's food for thought:

Angry Young Men Are Making the World Less Stable

Gender imbalances can fuel conflicts and revolutions, according to some analysts.

www.theatlantic.com

 

[HaleyBaron]

How can the 3 "alpha" monkeys blend in when every regular male monkey obviously knows that those three monkeys were the only ones mating? The only ones with the "resources"?

No matter how smart the 3 monkeys are, they will never be able to hide this fact for long.

This is just a theory, but it's food for thought:

Angry Young Men Are Making the World Less Stable

Gender imbalances can fuel conflicts and revolutions, according to some analysts.

www.theatlantic.com

Because this is a study involving monkeys, not humans.