opener for dollar store

[espanish]

I just noticed someone asked about openers for grocery stores and remembered that I have been meaning to ask this question

how do you expect a girl to respond if you are shopping at a dollar store, and you tell her "you are such a cheap bastard, why do you shop here, you should shop at whole foods"
I would expect them to see the irony and say something like "why are you such a cheap bastard yourself?" but usually I get this weird look or they get defensive. (irony is my favorite kind of joke maybe I am a weirdo)

another thing I do is while wearing a mask outdoors, I tell her "you are so paranoid why are you wearing a mask outdoors?" again, they don't get it.

is my opener bad or are girl just stupid and don't get the joke?

 

[DonJuanjr]

I would expect them to see the irony

Don't.... They could just use that as an excuse for righteous indignation.

 

[espanish]

Don't.... They could just use that as an excuse for righteous indignation.

but it's so funny and it's obviously a joke. I mean if a guy calls you cheap for shopping at dollar tree and he is at dollar tree himself, isn't that funny?

 

[Robert28]

but it's so funny and it's obviously a joke. I mean if a guy calls you cheap for shopping at dollar tree and he is at dollar tree himself, isn't that funny?

Yea it’s funny but 99% of women won’t get the humor.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Unfortunately, most people aren’t bright enough to appreciate dry wit / banter. Instead of appreciating a little bit of a twist in conversation, they just don’t have the capacity to get it.

I’ve encountered something similar.

If I’m in a bar I will actually walk up to a girl and say “hey what’s your sign?”
I don’t look like the lounge lizard type and so I can pull this off fairly well. Sometimes it goes well and sometimes it doesn’t.

Here’s the part that you think would totally work to my advantage. If she says that she’s a Sagittarius, I’ll go on and on about how I need to “avoid that type because I’ve heard allllll about them.”

And they typically respond back asking me my sign, I respond (with a straight but slight sardonic grin ) “Sagittarius.” Now, you would think this would get a good laugh and would open up banter. It does with some, but the majority… Again it’s dry wit and they’re just not bright enough to get it.

 

[Striker_93]

Openers are successful or unsuccessful depending on the person its coming from, Doesn't really matter what's said.

 

[manfrombelow]

Never ever assume the person in front you would 100% reciprocate your joke the way you want it.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Not bad openers, but not good either. Dumb girls (aka most girls) wont get that humor.

 

[jimwho]

If they were in a comedy club sipping kokktails, MAYBE they would think it was funny and get the humor. But imho
It's not funny, not in the freaking store.

another thing I do is while wearing a mask outdoors, I tell her "you are so paranoid why are you wearing a mask outdoors?" again, they don't get it.

This is a tough sell. I wouldn't suggest this basically because people are sick of the mask shiiit!

A lady looked at me while wearing a mask and said "I'm smiling at you" that gave me a good vibe. My dry dry wit has taught me to be very careful of the serious minded commoners out there. But keep at it what do I know?

 

[Modern Man Advice]

I just noticed someone asked about openers for grocery stores and remembered that I have been meaning to ask this question

how do you expect a girl to respond if you are shopping at a dollar store, and you tell her "you are such a cheap bastard, why do you shop here, you should shop at whole foods"
I would expect them to see the irony and say something like "why are you such a cheap bastard yourself?" but usually I get this weird look or they get defensive. (irony is my favorite kind of joke maybe I am a weirdo)

another thing I do is while wearing a mask outdoors, I tell her "you are so paranoid why are you wearing a mask outdoors?" again, they don't get it.

is my opener bad or are girl just stupid and don't get the joke?

Just ask, "Is this where all the strippers shop?"

Modern Man Advice

 

[HaleyBaron]

Are we really at the level of this forum where we're asking for openings in a damn Dollar Store?!

 

[Bokanovsky]

I just noticed someone asked about openers for grocery stores and remembered that I have been meaning to ask this question

how do you expect a girl to respond if you are shopping at a dollar store, and you tell her "you are such a cheap bastard, why do you shop here, you should shop at whole foods"
I would expect them to see the irony and say something like "why are you such a cheap bastard yourself?" but usually I get this weird look or they get defensive. (irony is my favorite kind of joke maybe I am a weirdo)

another thing I do is while wearing a mask outdoors, I tell her "you are so paranoid why are you wearing a mask outdoors?" again, they don't get it.

is my opener bad or are girl just stupid and don't get the joke?

For a joke to be a joke, it has to be funny. What you said doesn't sound particularly witty or funny.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I just noticed someone asked about openers for grocery stores and remembered that I have been meaning to ask this question

how do you expect a girl to respond if you are shopping at a dollar store, and you tell her "you are such a cheap bastard, why do you shop here, you should shop at whole foods"
I would expect them to see the irony and say something like "why are you such a cheap bastard yourself?" but usually I get this weird look or they get defensive. (irony is my favorite kind of joke maybe I am a weirdo)

another thing I do is while wearing a mask outdoors, I tell her "you are so paranoid why are you wearing a mask outdoors?" again, they don't get it.

is my opener bad or are girl just stupid and don't get the joke?

If s woman said this stuff to me, I’d figure she’d a psycho and avoid her.

 

[MatureDJ]

I just noticed someone asked about openers for grocery stores and remembered that I have been meaning to ask this question

how do you expect a girl to respond if you are shopping at a dollar store, and you tell her "you are such a cheap bastard, why do you shop here, you should shop at whole foods"
I would expect them to see the irony and say something like "why are you such a cheap bastard yourself?" but usually I get this weird look or they get defensive. (irony is my favorite kind of joke maybe I am a weirdo)

another thing I do is while wearing a mask outdoors, I tell her "you are so paranoid why are you wearing a mask outdoors?" again, they don't get it.

is my opener bad or are girl just stupid and don't get the joke?

Your openers are pathetic - you are an OpenerCel.

In any case, I know some rural folks who shop at the nearby dollar sore simply because it's a lot closer than Wal-Mart or a grocery. I remember one time going to a (different) store, and there was a dollar store there in the same strip mall, and I went in just to see what it was all about. I could tell that everything there was super low quality, but I ended up buying some dishwashing sponges (since I was needing that in any case); these things had the worst smell of any sponges I have ever bought.

 

[MatureDJ]

Just ask, "Is this where all the strippers shop?"

Modern Man Advice

This will be funny up until such time that the chick's boyfriend/husband Billy Bob shows up, and she tells him what you had just told her.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Saying that to someone you don't know is super weird man.

 

[darksprezzatura]

Doesn't matter what you say as long as they find you attractive