Skillfully turning a boring convo with a woman towards a sexual direction

[Sebastian0001]

So let's say you are on a date with a beautiful woman but she keeps bringing up boring topics like work, family and school. Then, there is a pause in the conversation and she prompts you with a general question like "what about you, what's important to you?" You have an opportunity to seize the conversation topic and take it in any direction. What would you say next? What topic would you bring up? How would you turn it towards a more sexual direction?

I know one method is to misinterpret things as sexual or to add sexual innuendos but let's say that kind of opportunity has yet to come up and now you have to steer the conversation away from the boring topics she keeps blabbing on.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Ask them this question:

"So what did you like better? 50 Shades the book or the movie?".

Almost ALL of them have either watched the movie or read the books and many have done both.

This can lead to some interesting conversations...

 

[Dr.Suave]

I just ask them their notch count haha

 

[Sebastian0001]

Ask them this question:

"So what did you like better? 50 Shades the book or the movie?".

Almost ALL of them have either watched the movie or read the books and many have done both.

This can lead to some interesting conversations...

lol good one! I actually need to see that movie, its supposed to be very sexually erotic, right?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

lol good one! I actually need to see that movie, its supposed to be very sexually erotic, right?

Yeah, it's all about B DSM stuff and most women secretly love that sh!t

 

[Sebastian0001]

I just ask them their notch count haha

notches? like how many ppl they have slept with? I can't imagine any woman being open enough to share that in the first few dates?

 

[Sebastian0001]

Yeah, it's all about B DSM stuff and most women secretly love that sh!t

does it include stuff one can learn from and implement into dating?

 

[Sebastian0001]

You're right but you could gauge her response anyway to see how playful or serious she is.

Take me for example, I'd never answer that question but would respond with something fun and playful like "a girl never kisses and tells" with a wink or something like.

Have fun with it, banter a bit.

On the other hand, if she gets snarky, or takes offense, that tells you a lot about her right there and you can decide if YOU want to proceed forward and continue talking to HER.

Goes both ways.

thanks! Any examples of how guys turn convos into a more sexual direction with you? Its been a major struggle for me since getting out of a 8 year relationship. I used to very easily be able to do playful fun sexual teasing type banter but now I have lost the ability entirely.

 

[Sebastian0001]

It's hard to say cause it's typically been a slow natural escalation based on the rapport we've established through prior text exchanges/interactions versus any specific "lines" they used, or examples I could give.

There is also a level of comfort that needs to be established (for me) before I will engage sexually.

So not sure if I can help you with that except to say stay away from anything contrived and keep it real and genuine.

Women can smell BS a mile away... I sure can.

well its not so much looking for "contrived lines," but I'm struggling because i just got out of a 8 year relationship in which our relationship got less intimate with each year and more of a friendship. I have taken that vibe into dating and I am creating friend vibes with women on dates. Its now been feedback from 4 different women and its really frustrating because one of them I genuinely like and I know she wants to like me too but we can't get past kissing and she says the feelings are slow and that sometimes they can be like that and its ok. However, I don't know if its ok. I think she might be wrong and I might have a deeper issue which is blocking a woman from feeling sexual to me.

This particular girl is not even super hot or anything and she is 37 and really wants to find someone and I think she sees me as good from a logical point of view but the spark is not coming. I know she likes spending time with me and thinks I am good looking and fun and smart. But, the spark is "not entirely there" is what she said. So, I kind of told her we should take a break and I am trying to back to the drawing board on every aspect of how I act and communicate on dates. I have asked and gotten great female opinions on dress style and and all that so that part is fine, but the conversations and interaction is a huge hurdle.

I am currently doing a lot of "friend" things like talk about politics, career or even give advice if she has issues on day to day life things like her apartment. I SHOULD be flirting, teasing, bold statements (as you said), and other things but I need work on it and I need to think of situations in my head and think of how I could handle them better. This all used to be SO much easier for me but now its not. 10 years ago I remember I had a really fun convo with this girl and we were talking about dishwashers! And somehow the convo went to how she loved having a dish placed into her dishwasher slow at first and then hard and then foam/soap all over the place. I don't even know how it went like that but that particular girl wanted to have sex on the first date and she was very hot.

 

[Striker_93]

well its not so much looking for "contrived lines," but I'm struggling because i just got out of a 8 year relationship in which our relationship got less intimate with each year and more of a friendship. I have taken that vibe into dating and I am creating friend vibes with women on dates. Its now been feedback from 4 different women and its really frustrating because one of them I genuinely like and I know she wants to like me too but we can't get past kissing and she says the feelings are slow and that sometimes they can be like that and its ok. However, I don't know if its ok. I think she might be wrong and I might have a deeper issue which is blocking a woman from feeling sexual to me. This particular girl is not even super hot or anything and she is 37 and really wants to find someone and I think she sees me as good from a logical point of view but the spark is not coming. I know she likes spending time with me and thinks I am good looking and fun and smart. But, the spark is "not entirely there" is what she said. So, I kind of told her we should take a break and I am trying to back to the drawing board on every aspect of how I act and communicate on dates. I have asked and gotten great female opinions on dress style and and all that so that part is fine, but the conversations and interaction is a huge hurdle. I am currently doing a lot of "friend" things like talk about politics, career or even give advice if she has issues on day to day life things like her apartment. I SHOULD be flirting, teasing, bold statements (as you said), and other things but I need work on it and I need to think of situations in my head and think of how I could handle them better. This all used to be SO much easier for me but now its not. 10 years ago I remember I had a really fun convo with this girl and we were talking about dishwashers! And somehow the convo went to how she loved having a dish placed into her dishwasher slow at first and then hard and then foam/soap all over the place. I don't even know how it went like that but that particular girl wanted to have sex on the first date and she was very hot.

Bruh, put some spaces in between ya paragraphs, people are more likely to read it.

 

[Velasco]

I am currently doing a lot of "friend" things like talk about politics, career or even give advice if she has issues on day to day life things like her apartment

Stop talking politics, career and giving advice on boring things. If I ever talk about politics it's to troll. I am not aware of too much of what's going on in the world with Ukraine and Russia besides what I see from meme accounts on Twitter. If you passionately follow something and the conversation goes to that topic, you will be tempted to talk very passionately about that topic. If it's a topic that has no sexuality behind it like politics, video games, sports (tho with this one you can easily transition to talking about sexual talk with regards to the body parts of the athletes (legs, thighs, ass)), then it's no good. Topics I familiarize myself to relate with girls 10 years younger with me is watching what everyone is talking about (Euphoria). And who the cool kids are listening to (music wise) these days. I also like the subject of p0rn to discuss with young girls because they grew up on it. And it's not taboo to talk about it with them as with other generations. Also if I'm ever giving advice it will be something along the lines of self help. Just make it sound esoteric and with some passion. They love that sh1t

 

[DonJuanjr]

Topics I familiarize myself to relate with girls 10 years younger with me is watching what everyone is talking about (Euphoria). And who the cool kids are listening to (music wise) these days. I also like the subject of p0rn to discuss with young girls because they grew up on it.

These types of responses are what's helpful on here. Thanks. It would be nice for you to have a thread topic that goes into detail about this.

 

[darksprezzatura]

Forget sex. You're out with a cutie and she's talking about herself. That's good.

You know what's great when she asks something about you.

But what's BEST IS:

... turning the conversation back to her with all the nice little nuggets she dropped before.

Stay aloof, stay a ghost. Soon she'll be crawling over you.

 

[tkazansky]

well its not so much looking for "contrived lines," but I'm struggling because i just got out of a 8 year relationship in which our relationship got less intimate with each year and more of a friendship. I have taken that vibe into dating and I am creating friend vibes with women on dates. Its now been feedback from 4 different women and its really frustrating because one of them I genuinely like and I know she wants to like me too but we can't get past kissing and she says the feelings are slow and that sometimes they can be like that and its ok. However, I don't know if its ok. I think she might be wrong and I might have a deeper issue which is blocking a woman from feeling sexual to me.

This particular girl is not even super hot or anything and she is 37 and really wants to find someone and I think she sees me as good from a logical point of view but the spark is not coming. I know she likes spending time with me and thinks I am good looking and fun and smart. But, the spark is "not entirely there" is what she said. So, I kind of told her we should take a break and I am trying to back to the drawing board on every aspect of how I act and communicate on dates. I have asked and gotten great female opinions on dress style and and all that so that part is fine, but the conversations and interaction is a huge hurdle.

I am currently doing a lot of "friend" things like talk about politics, career or even give advice if she has issues on day to day life things like her apartment. I SHOULD be flirting, teasing, bold statements (as you said), and other things but I need work on it and I need to think of situations in my head and think of how I could handle them better. This all used to be SO much easier for me but now its not. 10 years ago I remember I had a really fun convo with this girl and we were talking about dishwashers! And somehow the convo went to how she loved having a dish placed into her dishwasher slow at first and then hard and then foam/soap all over the place. I don't even know how it went like that but that particular girl wanted to have sex on the first date and she was very hot.

I am not as experienced with women as many of the guys here. However, if I was in your position, I would move on. It sounds like she sees "logical" benefits to your company, but the juices aren't flowing. In the immortal words of Rollo, "You cannot negotiate desire." Any woman, that says "there is no spark" is not a woman I want to mess with.

Just my 0.02

 

[Sebastian0001]

I am not as experienced with women as many of the guys here. However, if I was in your position, I would move on. It sounds like she sees "logical" benefits to your company, but the juices aren't flowing. In the immortal words of Rollo, "You cannot negotiate desire." Any woman, that says "there is no spark" is not a woman I want to mess with.

Just my 0.02

I agree for sure but the thing to consider is that my game is slowly coming back. My thought process is to date others too and continue to see this woman because she should come around once I talk to her correctly and turn her on? She is also 36 and its not like there are guys lining up at her door. This should be a layup if my game was back to normal but its far harder then I could have imagined to get back on my dating feet after so long and such a bad relationship. And she didn't say "there is no spark" she said "its not entirely there at this time" and that "it may get there, may not" - obviously i'd rather have her jumping on me for sex but it is what it is until I can get back to my game level.

 

[Bokanovsky]

There is truth to this although it might be helpful to give an example of one of your DHV stories that is "subtley" sexual but not "obviously" sexual because for some guys not as experienced as you it may not be so simple.

I may post one my current guy uses because he's great at leading the convo and I listen, respond and follow.

I actually can't stand talking about myself or telling stories if I'm honest, I'd much rather listen to him assuming I have very high interest, sexually and otherwise.

And he's interesting! Then again, I wouldn't be dating/having sex with him if he weren't, it's one of my requirements - that he be intelligent (above average) and interesting.

In fact, I think I may be somewhat sapiosexual, although a great physique is high on my list too .

Basically, you are saying that you wouldn't have sex with someone who is boring.

This is true of most women and has nothing to do with being a "sapiosexual". In fact, there is no such thing as a "sapiosexual". Women are attracted to men who are interesting, not men who are intelligent. Mark Zuckerberg is, by all accounts, highly intelligent (as a businessman). He is also about as interesting as a duffel bag full of old underwear. His lack success with women is proof that even copious amounts of money cannot overcome extreme lack of social skills. The same is true of many billionaires.

Conversely, many men who are interesting are not particularly intelligent. Put someone like George Clooney or Brad Pitt in charge of a multinational corporation and it will likely go bankrupt in a matter of weeks. But women go ga-ga over this type of men because they are charming, smooth talking, and generally have good social skills.

 

[Bokanovsky]

@Bokanovsky fair points. However in my defense I said 'somewhat' sapiosexual although admittedly not sure what it even means except I do value high intelligence not in business or being booksmart necessarily, more so relating to emotional intelligence.

Not surprised that you're not sure what it means...it doesn't actually mean anything "Emotional intelligence" is an oxymoron. Intelligence = capacity for reasoning (and emotions are the opposite of reason). What you are referring to is social skills - i.e being well spoken, smooth, charming, etc. One can certainly have those and still be intelligent but it is more common to have one or the other.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Not saying you're wrong, I'll have to think about it, but I know plenty of men, plenty of people, who have great social skills, could charm the skin off a cat and who talk a good game but who know zero about human nature, human existence and the like.

Perhaps what I'm referring to is a certain intellectualism that I find attractive and respond positively to.

I'm not just saying this but that's why I like this forum even though I probably don't belong here lol, because I find many of you guys to be quite astute at understanding and accurately assessing certain situations which I relate to, having grown up with five very 'alpha' brothers.

I post on another forum, both women and men, and I get so frustrated because so much of what is said there is the biggest load of crap you could ever imagine hearing.

Many (not all) the people who post over there literally have no clue. I don't even know how they survived living this long, but whatever not my problem. I'm weaning myself away from it.

Does the name of that forum star with an "L"? If so, it's an absolute cesspit

 

[Sebastian0001]

There is truth to this although it might be helpful to give an example of one of your DHV stories that is "subtley" sexual but not "obviously" sexual because for some guys not as experienced as you it may not be so simple.

I may post one my current guy uses because he's great at leading the convo and I listen, respond and follow.

I actually can't stand talking about myself or telling stories if I'm honest, I'd much rather listen to him assuming I have very high interest, sexually and otherwise.

And he's interesting! Then again, I wouldn't be dating/having sex with him if he weren't, it's one of my requirements - that he be intelligent (above average) and interesting.

In fact, I think I may be somewhat sapiosexual, although a great physique is high on my list too .

lol he doesn't give examples because he doesn't have examples. He just comes on this forum and says things like "its easy, just tell an amazing story and she's yours" or "its easy, just attract her and then have sex" or "its easy, just walk into a room and get all the women to like you" LOLLLL

 

[Sebastian0001]

There is truth to this although it might be helpful to give an example of one of your DHV stories that is "subtley" sexual but not "obviously" sexual because for some guys not as experienced as you it may not be so simple.

I may post one my current guy uses because he's great at leading the convo and I listen, respond and follow.

I actually can't stand talking about myself or telling stories if I'm honest, I'd much rather listen to him assuming I have very high interest, sexually and otherwise.

And he's interesting! Then again, I wouldn't be dating/having sex with him if he weren't, it's one of my requirements - that he be intelligent (above average) and interesting.

In fact, I think I may be somewhat sapiosexual, although a great physique is high on my list too .

can you share an example story the he told you? That would be super helpful!