My ex came back to me saying she wants me back

[Dr.Suave]

Stay strong bro. U never go back to an ex. The second u give her exclusivity again, things will start to go downhill. Keep up the good work.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

 

[metalwater]

But that "love feeling" seems to be dead. And now she wants me back... Thats funny.

This is one of the keys. Possible the master key.

Avoid the love feeling. Translation of "love feeling" is that she is on a pedestal. When and if you feel that love feeling take quick action to get rid of that. Only days if not hours after you let that loving feeling flow the relationship is doomed. Keeping frame and attraction is all dependent on the abolishment of the love feeling. It is ok to treat a woman well but it is not ok to let the love feeling flow. That is one of the root sins of being with a woman.

You have just now learned it by chance. At first, we will be sad that we know it is not ok to have this and it will seem not fare. Later it becomes clear that is just how it is and it is one of the differences between a working relationship and a not working one. It is ok to care about someone, but it is not ok to be "in love..".

For me any relationship that I was "in love" the woman did bad and or left. Any time I was not in love she would behave and the only end would be for me to leave.

In Love == Bad

 

[Blacksheep]

LOL I thought I'm the only one who caught that, If you have 4 hot girls who cares about your ex op?

Yeah man, I definitely should not care about... Having feelings sometimes is very bad.

But Im less worried or sad about that. Just moving on

 

[Blacksheep]

Stay strong bro. U never go back to an ex. The second u give her exclusivity again, things will start to go downhill. Keep up the good work.

Thanks man! Its not a good idea... She got mad at me because I wasnt talking to her the way she wanted and blocked me again haha... This shows how much she changed.

Said a lot of stupid things... And I replied: "If youre so convinced about all that stuffs you just said why dont you just block me? Why are you wasting your time?"

She laughed and blocked.

 

[Blacksheep]

This is one of the keys. Possible the master key.

Avoid the love feeling. Translation of "love feeling" is that she is on a pedestal. When and if you feel that love feeling take quick action to get rid of that. Only days if not hours after you let that loving feeling flow the relationship is doomed. Keeping frame and attraction is all dependent on the abolishment of the love feeling. It is ok to treat a woman well but it is not ok to let the love feeling flow. That is one of the root sins of being with a woman.

You have just now learned it by chance. At first, we will be sad that we know it is not ok to have this and it will seem not fare. Later it becomes clear that is just how it is and it is one of the differences between a working relationship and a not working one. It is ok to care about someone, but it is not ok to be "in love..".

For me any relationship that I was "in love" the woman did bad and or left. Any time I was not in love she would behave and the only end would be for me to leave.

In Love == Bad

Thats true man! Its so weird it.

Whenever I felt love for a woman, I was devalued and it seems there was always problems.

The ones I didnt care or show any feelings are the ones who valued me the most. It seems that switch a thing into a woman when you show love.

Or I didnt find someone that would really appreciate it.

Its bad because I really would like to find a nice woman, and nurture love and good things with her... But after years trying, Im getting on the conclusion that it might not exist in that way I thought.

 

[Dr.Suave]

She laughed and blocked.

Good. She was only wasting your time at this point. U should block her as well, from everywhere, just in case.

Advice for the future, I might have probably said this before. Never give exclusivity to another girl unless u like her more than your ex. U cant go backwards. U cant settle for less than what u already had.

 

[Blacksheep]

Good. She was only wasting your time at this point. U should block her as well, from everywhere, just in case.

Advice for the future, I might have probably said this before. Never give exclusivity to another girl unless u like her more than your ex. U cant go backwards. U cant settle for less than what u already had.

Thats true.

I think she tried to make me feel bad again with this. Its very weird.

 

[derby1]

Quick story time.

This wouldnt be my first rodeo. Allow me to explain..

Ex and me broke up about 4 years ago it drove me to this forum. she was spinning my brain. ( i never realised how much they crave attention & being rejected destroys them)

she would drop me the "hey miss you" followed by the links to a few of our songs, (pretty sick and twisted if you think about it)

I thought I was being a grown adult trying to reunite a happy family, she couldnt give a solitary Sh*t about the family, it was all about her ego, and power over me.

I then managed to learn a few DJ skills, and peaked her interest, in the end she would travel to my house & bring food.( you dont move off your sofa to meet someone who dumped you)

so far so good.

However I noticed the morning after sex, I would probably give her B/f vibes and she would go all cold, then it would all start again.

this went on for weeks with her qualifying herself, crying, and going cold the morning after, I was getting quite good sex out of it.

heres the thing, I went full on beta and asked for the relationship back, and she full on ghosted me.

I was raging inside, validation is their currency, They purely want to know if you still want them, thats all, she doesnt like you.

 

[IKO69]

It can only work out if both people learned something. Usually it's the case that only one person does (usually the guy because he's the one dumped and has to lift himself up from the emotional wreckage). I can't say if this is a case of her getting dumped by some guy and crawling back but I do know if this were to be the case it won't last because she's immature.

This has happened to me many times. Some I slept with a few times but generally kept at a distance while remaining friendly. I'm a one and done type person, if it doesn't work out I don't go back. Don't sacrifice your self respect for someone who took you for granted, especially if you tried to be a good boyfriend or whatever. That's really the bottom line here. Some people are stupid and really don't know what they got until it's gone.

 

[IKO69]

I think it’s really as simple as this - if they are enjoying their life you never hear from them.

If something goes seriously wrong then they sometimes drop back in - usually indirect (and it usually has to be pretty serious drop in her life situation - loss of her friendship group or getting dumped by a guy she really liked might do the trick).

I honestly think that when a woman dumps a guy then it’s very difficult to go back with her. And men need to accept this. This is because of the process women go through when they dump a guy - they plan it, they think about it, they line up new guys. It’s very cold and calculated and it usually happens over a few months. In those few months, while she’s making her plans, you are the biggest gimp in her eyes. I don’t think they ever un-see that.

Oh yeah. Everyone gets their comeuppance sooner or later. Just have to remember you have the upper hand-you can always find better chicks.

 

[IKO69]

I totally disagree.

women have the upper hand because they have the abundance that men could only dream of.

A woman can replace a guy very quickly and guys collectively subconsciously know this. That’s why we work out, level up, get smarter, get richer etc etc

Exactly. If you do all all of the latter, you don't have to worry about these things. You can have a nice dating life that extends beyond your 30's. You have time on your side, therefore you have the upper hand, but guys need to be proactive.

 

[metalwater]

Thats true man! Its so weird it.

Whenever I felt love for a woman, I was devalued and it seems there was always problems.

The ones I didnt care or show any feelings are the ones who valued me the most. It seems that switch a thing into a woman when you show love.

Or I didnt find someone that would really appreciate it.

Its bad because I really would like to find a nice woman, and nurture love and good things with her... But after years trying, Im getting on the conclusion that it might not exist in that way I thought.

it's one of the bitter truths, but after a while, we realize that our life is better if we follow this. Even if you find one or one finds you that she has so high interest that you can get away with feeling love, it will always go sour later. The only way is to stay in control of your own emotions. In DJ talk it means hold frame no matter what. The only way to do that is to avoid that love feeling thing. Enjoy the sex and enjoy the interactions and treat her like a playful mate, never as the one and only. never ever open ALL the way up.

 

[derby1]

I totally disagree.

women have the upper hand because they have the abundance that men could only dream of.

every single ex who dumped me, has gone from a dime peace to a complete fat, drunk, peace of sh*t.

not one has worked on anything I told them to. when I got my firing shots in before the split.

its quite humerous to see their decline & victimhood.

not one of them is married or living anykind of fairytale ending.

life trolls women harder than we ever could in the comments.

 

[Blacksheep]

Quick story time.

This wouldnt be my first rodeo. Allow me to explain..

Ex and me broke up about 4 years ago it drove me to this forum. she was spinning my brain. ( i never realised how much they crave attention & being rejected destroys them)

she would drop me the "hey miss you" followed by the links to a few of our songs, (pretty sick and twisted if you think about it)

I thought I was being a grown adult trying to reunite a happy family, she couldnt give a solitary Sh*t about the family, it was all about her ego, and power over me.

I then managed to learn a few DJ skills, and peaked her interest, in the end she would travel to my house & bring food.( you dont move off your sofa to meet someone who dumped you)

so far so good.

However I noticed the morning after sex, I would probably give her B/f vibes and she would go all cold, then it would all start again.

this went on for weeks with her qualifying herself, crying, and going cold the morning after, I was getting quite good sex out of it.

heres the thing, I went full on beta and asked for the relationship back, and she full on ghosted me.

I was raging inside, validation is their currency, They purely want to know if you still want them, thats all, she doesnt like you.

That seems kind of evil the way she behave with you. Unfortunately it seems to be something common. =/

 

[derby1]

That seems kind of evil the way she behave with you. Unfortunately it seems to be something common. =/

thats what yours will do to you bro. as soon as you confirm your boyfriend mode again and start regularly texting etc, or go to meet her, it will be over and she will go cold.

the only way I could have worked this better, would have been to remained Ice cold, get back to her 1 day later the morning after s*x, and never meeting her anywhere, she comes to mine only, also id cancel on her every other week. never sending texts like "we still on for tonight" it confirms your interest.(she either turns up or doesnt)

it would have destroyed her, and she would have chased that validation forever, but it was my first rodeo, and I was only slightly good at it.

 

[jimwho]

....And so men screw themselves by committing to women if their goal is to keep her hot and horny for him.

Also, she'll want to stay attractive and (hot) instead of morphing into a woman of WalMart.