How to Escalate From the Date

[CollegeMan22]

I'm a college student and am relatively new to the Manosphere/SoSuave. Over the past semester, I've gone out on dates with seven girls. I meet them in class, at study sessions, at clubs, and at parties/dances. Because I don't have a car and really don't want a girl to drive me somewhere (makes her the leader), I've generally just done food dates. I try to sit next to them and physically escalate throughout the date. I generally start off with a hug and then analyze their jewelry (e.g. necklace or earrings) with my hands during the date, thereby initiating kino. Honestly, the dates could have been better because I am not as C&F in one-on-one conversations as I am in small or large groups. Generally, we just BS about our lives, our interests, and whatever is going on right now. Then we leave, I hug her, and we say goodbye.

I've heard that you don't want to be texting/calling a girl too much, so I generally wait a week or so to do the next date with a given girl. Then it is generally more of the same — some food place, talking, light touching, etc.

I have not gotten a "girlfriend" who hangs out with me all the time, nor am I sure that I want one. However, I do want to know how to escalate more in my future dates. Some things that I think would help would be to do night dates (women will be more relaxed) and action dates (walking at night, hiking). Kissing would be a lot easier during the night because of the darkness. One problem is that I am not 21 so I cannot legally drink at bars/clubs yet. Plus, getting to them and back from them would be some trouble without a car.

If you guys have any advice for me to improve my success, I would greatly appreciate it. I can make a woman have fun and tease her a lot, but I don't know how to escalate during dates. Thanks.

 

[Robert28]

My advice is going to differ from most but it’s what I’ve been experiencing the past couple years. The main thing is the texting, you can’t wait a week to contact a girl after a date these days. They’ll assume you aren’t interested and they’ll drop you like a bad habit if you go two days without texting them. Just the way it is nowadays, your non-texting means they’re on to the next guy they’ll send them good morning texts everyday. This was the hardest thing for me to overcome as I’m not a big texter and am old school. You have to contact them everyday after the date these days.
Also when on dates you have to be more aggressive than in the past or what you’ve been comfortable with. Women overthink so bad these days that any little thing they’ll think means you aren’t interested.

 

[RobbyDog]

My advice is going to differ from most but it’s what I’ve been experiencing the past couple years. The main thing is the texting, you can’t wait a week to contact a girl after a date these days. They’ll assume you aren’t interested and they’ll drop you like a bad habit if you go two days without texting them. Just the way it is nowadays, your non-texting means they’re on to the next guy they’ll send them good morning texts everyday. This was the hardest thing for me to overcome as I’m not a big texter and am old school. You have to contact them everyday after the date these days.
Also when on dates you have to be more aggressive than in the past or what you’ve been comfortable with. Women overthink so bad these days that any little thing they’ll think means you aren’t interested.

Keep in mind it’s not a bad thing if a woman isn’t sure of YOUR interest level. The key is to gain HER interest in you.

 

[derby1]

so I generally wait a week or so to do the next date with a given girl

do you mean wait a week to DM? if so terrible PUA advice from the 1990s.

looks like youre following the ABC's of pick up, and modern women are neurotic as hell.

By no means am I advocating sending them good morning texts, but on the same respect you need to keep light comms.

the woman should be messaging you after the date, you DO NOT message a woman after you have gone through the effort of arranging logistics and most likely funding 80% of the date.

if she doesnt message you a courtesy DM, from which you proceed or discard....she never hears from you again

 

[CollegeMan22]

My advice is going to differ from most but it’s what I’ve been experiencing the past couple years. The main thing is the texting, you can’t wait a week to contact a girl after a date these days. They’ll assume you aren’t interested and they’ll drop you like a bad habit if you go two days without texting them. Just the way it is nowadays, your non-texting means they’re on to the next guy they’ll send them good morning texts everyday. This was the hardest thing for me to overcome as I’m not a big texter and am old school. You have to contact them everyday after the date these days.
Also when on dates you have to be more aggressive than in the past or what you’ve been comfortable with. Women overthink so bad these days that any little thing they’ll think means you aren’t interested.

What things do you text them about every day? I'm old school like you and do not text any of my friends very often. If I want to talk to them, then I call them, but generally that's for talking about things like self-improvement, politics, history, or a cool experience I had. I find that women are much less interested in macro topics (e.g. politics) and are more focused on their own lives. So when I talk to them in person, I just joke around about whatever we are doing together while getting it done (e.g. homework). But what are you supposed to talk about via texting every day?

 

[Hamurabimbi]

If it’s a legit date. Try at least for a neck or cheek kiss. That’s the absolute minimum.

 

[EyeBRollin]

My advice is going to differ from most but it’s what I’ve been experiencing the past couple years. The main thing is the texting, you can’t wait a week to contact a girl after a date these days. They’ll assume you aren’t interested and they’ll drop you like a bad habit if you go two days without texting them. Just the way it is nowadays, your non-texting means they’re on to the next guy they’ll send them good morning texts everyday. This was the hardest thing for me to overcome as I’m not a big texter and am old school. You have to contact them everyday after the date these days.
Also when on dates you have to be more aggressive than in the past or what you’ve been comfortable with. Women overthink so bad these days that any little thing they’ll think means you aren’t interested.

I am sorry but this is completely wrong and bad advice.

OP your strategy is fine just shift to drinks at a more hip spot instead of going with food. Also, do you have your own place? Roommates? The idea is to get her back to your room.

What things do you text them about every day? I'm old school like you and do not text any of my friends very often. If I want to talk to them, then I call them, but generally that's for talking about things like self-improvement, politics, history, or a cool experience I had. I find that women are much less interested in macro topics (e.g. politics) and are more focused on their own lives. So when I talk to them in person, I just joke around about whatever we are doing together while getting it done (e.g. homework). But what are you supposed to talk about via texting every day?

Do NOT text women every day. That is a mistake. The phone is for setting dates.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Do you live on campus? If so, invite her back to watch a movie, listen to music, etc… and be sure to have an older friend buy you some booze to have on hand. This is when you can work your magic.

Daylight and public settings are not the most conducive for someone starting out. Heck, even at my age, those settings are also not as favorable.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Just kiss her when u feel like it, dont overthink.

 

[Clamslammer]

I'm a college student and am relatively new to the Manosphere/SoSuave. Over the past semester, I've gone out on dates with seven girls. I meet them in class, at study sessions, at clubs, and at parties/dances. Because I don't have a car and really don't want a girl to drive me somewhere (makes her the leader), I've generally just done food dates. I try to sit next to them and physically escalate throughout the date. I generally start off with a hug and then analyze their jewelry (e.g. necklace or earrings) with my hands during the date, thereby initiating kino. Honestly, the dates could have been better because I am not as C&F in one-on-one conversations as I am in small or large groups. Generally, we just BS about our lives, our interests, and whatever is going on right now. Then we leave, I hug her, and we say goodbye.

I've heard that you don't want to be texting/calling a girl too much, so I generally wait a week or so to do the next date with a given girl. Then it is generally more of the same — some food place, talking, light touching, etc.

I have not gotten a "girlfriend" who hangs out with me all the time, nor am I sure that I want one. However, I do want to know how to escalate more in my future dates. Some things that I think would help would be to do night dates (women will be more relaxed) and action dates (walking at night, hiking). Kissing would be a lot easier during the night because of the darkness. One problem is that I am not 21 so I cannot legally drink at bars/clubs yet. Plus, getting to them and back from them would be some trouble without a car.

If you guys have any advice for me to improve my success, I would greatly appreciate it. I can make a woman have fun and tease her a lot, but I don't know how to escalate during dates. Thanks.

I will tell you the hidden secret..stop doing dinner dates and plan dates you can have fun on. Girls react to fun, if she is having fun and she finds you attractive she will be flirting with you and hitting you, bumping you while walking, etc... When she does these kinds of things it is easier for you to kiss them.

 

[CollegeMan22]

Do you live on campus? If so, invite her back to watch a movie, listen to music, etc… and be sure to have an older friend buy you some booze to have on hand. This is when you can work your magic.

Daylight and public settings are not the most conducive for someone starting out. Heck, even at my age, those settings are also not as favorable.

I do live on campus in the student dorms. I have a dorm that I share with two other guys. We each have separate bedrooms, although they are very small (bed, small hallway 2x length of bed, desk, and open closet). There's a TV, but it is small and no one uses it.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

I'm a college student and am relatively new to the Manosphere/SoSuave. Over the past semester, I've gone out on dates with seven girls. I meet them in class, at study sessions, at clubs, and at parties/dances. Because I don't have a car and really don't want a girl to drive me somewhere (makes her the leader), I've generally just done food dates. I try to sit next to them and physically escalate throughout the date. I generally start off with a hug and then analyze their jewelry (e.g. necklace or earrings) with my hands during the date, thereby initiating kino. Honestly, the dates could have been better because I am not as C&F in one-on-one conversations as I am in small or large groups. Generally, we just BS about our lives, our interests, and whatever is going on right now. Then we leave, I hug her, and we say goodbye.

I've heard that you don't want to be texting/calling a girl too much, so I generally wait a week or so to do the next date with a given girl. Then it is generally more of the same — some food place, talking, light touching, etc.

I have not gotten a "girlfriend" who hangs out with me all the time, nor am I sure that I want one. However, I do want to know how to escalate more in my future dates. Some things that I think would help would be to do night dates (women will be more relaxed) and action dates (walking at night, hiking). Kissing would be a lot easier during the night because of the darkness. One problem is that I am not 21 so I cannot legally drink at bars/clubs yet. Plus, getting to them and back from them would be some trouble without a car.

If you guys have any advice for me to improve my success, I would greatly appreciate it. I can make a woman have fun and tease her a lot, but I don't know how to escalate during dates. Thanks.

Welcome!

My advice is simple: Enjoy yourself.

You are allowing your brain to overanalyze the date. Enjoy yourself = No pressure or agenda = She will enjoy herself

Create an emotional imprint by actively listening and allowing her to open up. Break physical barriers by light touches when appropriate. You will know when she wants the kiss, go for it and again enjoy yourself.


Modern Man Advice

 

[Black Widow Void]

Just kiss her when u feel like it, dont overthink.

I agree with this. From my own experience, 50% of the time it’ll result in a cheek turn. But of the 50% cheek turns, half of these will provide better results by the end of the evening.

Nothing is ever 100% foolproof, but my experience has been 75% in my favor. I consider these odds worth the risk.

Hopefully your mileage will provide the same results. You never know until you try. Good luck!

 

[CollegeMan22]

do you mean wait a week to DM? if so terrible PUA advice from the 1990s.

looks like youre following the ABC's of pick up, and modern women are neurotic as hell.

By no means am I advocating sending them good morning texts, but on the same respect you need to keep light comms.

the woman should be messaging you after the date, you DO NOT message a woman after you have gone through the effort of arranging logistics and most likely funding 80% of the date.

if she doesnt message you a courtesy DM, from which you proceed or discard....she never hears from you again

I think you are right, derby1. I can always talk to women about events that are happening on campus, studying together for exams, or even the crappy weather outside. Then I can intersperse our short text conversations by asking them out. Showing that I am interested in her is the thing that I have been struggling with. I saw beta adoration, and I went to the opposite extreme. But the right amount of attention is a golden mean — not too much nor too little. Likewise for giving them emotional positivity and negativity. Teasing must be balanced with charm. I have some concrete tips for improvement now so I am going to go out and see if I have better results.

 

[Zimbabwe]

do you mean wait a week to DM? if so terrible PUA advice from the 1990s.

looks like youre following the ABC's of pick up, and modern women are neurotic as hell.

By no means am I advocating sending them good morning texts, but on the same respect you need to keep light comms.

the woman should be messaging you after the date, you DO NOT message a woman after you have gone through the effort of arranging logistics and most likely funding 80% of the date.

if she doesnt message you a courtesy DM, from which you proceed or discard....she never hears from you again

The problem is a lot of game material is incredibly outdated. I've read some that tell you to "email her" that's how you know it's old school.

 

[Striker_93]

I am sorry but this is completely wrong and bad advice.

OP your strategy is fine just shift to drinks at a more hip spot instead of going with food. Also, do you have your own place? Roommates? The idea is to get her back to your room.




Do NOT text women every day. That is a mistake. The phone is for setting dates.

You can do whatever you wanna do if she's highly attracted to you, I can text as much as I want, never had a issue.....

Stop following these "rules" you are too old for that.

 

[Striker_93]

I've heard that you don't want to be texting/calling a girl too much, so I generally wait a week or so to do the next date with a given girl.

Yeah you heard from guys who don't get pvssy.........
No bruh, you don't wait a whole week before getting in touch with a girl lol especially a girl who you never even fvcked before, she will forget about you, lord forbid she's very attractive and has many options.......use common sense and don't overdue it but it's ok to shoot a text or call whenever you feel like it, be a man and do what you wanna do......

 

[EyeBRollin]

You can do whatever you wanna do if she's highly attracted to you, I can text as much as I want, never had a issue.....

Stop following these "rules" you are too old for that.

No you cannot do “whatever you want to do.” She will lose attraction if you make a lot of mistakes. Attraction is not static. Women’s feelings blow like the wind.

 

[Striker_93]

No you cannot “do whatever you want to do.”

I can, don't know about yall......

 

[EyeBRollin]

I can, don't know about yall......

You capping. Every girl will eventually leave a man for acting like a bvtch.