Tried cold approaching in a nightclub last night. Advice needed.

[3agle 3yes]

Like most things, success is 80% mental and 20% skill.

How interested a woman is isn’t really relevant, stop looking out for it.

Theres’s no such thing as rejection either, at least there doesn’t have to be.

When I approach women I’m not trying to get them to like me, in fact, I’m not trying to get anything from them. You can only get rejected when you want something from someone.

I agree with @Machine10033, focus on enjoying yourself above all else, try to talk with almost everyone and try to take a genuine interest in interesting people. If there’s women who aren’t out to meet people then that’s their problem, why even leave the house in that case?

 

[MatureDJ]

So last night I was at a night club, it was really happening, super packed. For some context, I'm 5'10.

You're sub-6, and therefore it's pretty much OVER for you at nightclubs (Asian countries excepted). That said, there is a very large Mexican population in Houston, and they are shorter on average than (regular) White folks; of course, they also tend to be really heavy ...

 

[MatureDJ]

- Is cold approaching essentially a numbers game, even with practice? Can I realistically expect my chances to significantly improve with practice.

It is a numbers game ... and the numbers are pretty low if you're not Chad-tier.

Or is it more like developing a can't be f*cked mentality of dealing with rejection and just trying to 'open as much doors as possible' and developing the mental strength to deal with rejection.

Yes, developing the mental strength to deal with rejection would help, but only because you would be increasing your numbers. That said, repeated rejection will eat into your soul.

- This is a stupid question: How do you guys mentally handle cold approaching in front of your friends/groups of friends? It feels embarrassing to be rejected and have that rejection seen. How can I change my perspective on this.

It's not embarrassing; what would be embarrassing is you picking up on a fat chick.

- What are some of your biggest insights on cold approaching that have helped you the most.

Don't go to nightclubs; instead choose the "neighborhood bar" or at least go to a place with swing dancing, etc. that doesn't have as much of the nightclub vibe.

If that is you in the avatar, you need to hit the weights to bulk up; your "lean" look looks FrameCellish.

And as the rejections pile up, I recommend EscortMaxxing to take the edge off; a young man not getting laid is in a very dark place.

 

[zinc4]

Hello gents.

New year. New me. I wanted to pick up cold approaching. (Prior to this, I've largely been doing OLD and social media game. Had alright success with it but incredibly tiring and boring to game like this. Time to learn and get good at cold approaching.)

So last night I was at a night club, it was really happening, super packed. For some context, I'm 5'10. Lean build. Was dressed fashionably. Probably one of the best dressed at the joint. Received many compliments about my style. I had 3 situations, would like some specific thoughts/advice:

1)Girl at the dance floor.
I saw a cute girl rock up at the joint. She was with a bunch of friends. Almost from the get go, she was approached a couple of times. But seemed bored. I wanted to make my move but there were constantly guys talking to her. She looked bored and eventually she was standing/bobbing by herself at the dance floor. Her friends had left her. I make my move, smile and get up next to her. First thing I said was 'you look new to the place, enjoying yourself?'. She was sort of mellow, like one worded replies to our initial chat. I push through and ask her where she's from and she more or less started to ignore me before her female friend swooped in and took her dancing. She almost looked passed or cbf I approached her.

Might sound like a stupid question but was it a lose lose situation from the get go? Could I have done it better?

2)Wild girl.
So I was chatting with my buddy and eventually this gay guy comes up to me and tells me I'm good looking. He tells me he wants to introduce me to his friend, this wild tight dressed cute girl, and immediately drags her over to me. I start chatting with her but her other girl friend starts dragging her away. The wild girl holds my hand and tries to pull me away but I didn't want leave my buddy alone. So I anyway, later on, I see her dancing and I go dance with her. Again her girlfriend eventually swoops in and tries to drag her away.

I'm wondering wtf is going with her girl friend. Why does she keep coming in and interrupting. How do you guys deal with this scenario? (FYI, after last night, the wild girl did eventually hit me up social media, she wanted to go home with me and has high IL).

3)Girl across the table.
I was with my buddy drinking at the bar, laughing loads. I noticed these 2 girls across us at the far side. I had a vibe one of them kept tried to make small eye contact with me but she would look away and was not smiling. I wanted to approach her but she was far away. It would be a very deliberate move so I wanted to confirm IL first before I did. Anyway whole night she would do the same, look over occasionally, stoic face, look away. Eventually she left.

How would you guys read IL in a situation like this. What are the signs?

My buddy suggested we buy and send drinks over but being red pilled, I felt it was beta. What situations would you guys buy drinks for girls?

What is your approach to bar table game?

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Thanks bros for reading. Would appreciate your insights, thoughts and advice about the above.

- James

The girl number 2 situation is easy and very common. She clearly wanted you. Her annoying friend is the typical alpha acting female of the group who is actually just threatened by the thought of her friend meeting an attractive man right in front of her.

All you do is keep readvancing to her as long as it is apparent she wants you to. Ignore her jealous hag of a "friend."

A lot of times the friend will not go home with you directly in front of their alpha female friend regardless of how attracted she is to you. So if you fail, just understand that and just get her number maybe either text her later that night or the next day or so. But a lot of times you can push through this friend barrier and get your way depending how close of friends they really are.

As for the girl giving eye contact across from you just simply approach her first. Don't think too much about it just act. I personally will only buy a girl a drink once it's confirmed in my mind that she is going home with me.

 

[eli77]

Always thought these types of approaches were overrated versus meeting girls on college campuses and online dating

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

It's simply a matter of volume. Lots of pickup and acquire competence. Still it's a long slog. You get to a point where you get cut throat.

 

[Tilex]

1) You can't be having conversations with people on the dancefloor.
That's a nightclub sin.
Physical contact has to happen first, then you can speak to her later.
Or just slighty bump into her and engage her response. You need to be good at reading body language if you choose to do this.

2) That girl is ridiculous and so is her friend.
You should've pulled her back towards you and engaged her friend.
I guarantee you her friend wouldn't be pulling that girl away from you if you acknowledged her existence.

3) Get up from your seat RIGHT NOW!
Walk over and sit right next to her. If you sit in the seat across from her, YOU LOSE.

 

[SW15]

Cold approach is hard as ****kkk. Not talking IOIS or approach invitations. The best have a 10% success rate. There's a model pua on the old rsd forums and he at best would go 1/10. Lots of "haha but no." This is perspective.

Op it's like any skill set. You get better doing lots. It's all about reps. As for outcome, looks, height, swag, social equity etc are variables. If you sperg or are hyper over analyze everything, it won't end well.

You will get more girls turning off YouTube and approaching all week. You can rampage every weekend or you can approach a handful of times everyday until FOREVER. You will strike out. You will take Ls. You will also get more ass but it's dependent on your output. Case snd point, 99% of men can't approach. Don't pull. Game = VOLUME + COMPLIANCE OR NEXT!

Shooting your shot puts you in front of the pack and most YouTube.

Agree that cold approach is hard as fucck. Getting IOIs and approach invitations is great and that is an awesome objective to have. If a man only approaches when he gets IOIs/invitations, he won't do much volume. The argument for that style of only approaching strangers when inviteed is that those approaches are more likely to lead to something worthwhile.

A lot of men endure psychological trauma while taking the L's on cold approach. One can only hope to get good at cold approaching before the trauma of too many L's sets in.

Agree that action is more essential than analyzing and YouTube video watching.

It's simply a matter of volume. Lots of pickup and acquire competence. Still it's a long slog. You get to a point where you get cut throat.

Getting cut throat is good. I don't think it's a volume game if you do the wrong things and do uncalibrated approaches leading to rejection. Many seducers get slaughtered taking the L's as they try to get laid. These are the PUAHate type guys, the incels, and the blackpillers.

 

[SW15]

Looks like you had a good night. These are typical scenarios a good looking guy encounters on a night out. Women aren’t jumping on your d1ck, as other guys here will pretend. It’s hard work and you have to approach.

What you’re not doing is number closing. After your short interaction, tell her you’re with a friend but you’d like to catch up with her again so you can talk more and hear each other better (usually the loudness of the club provides good cover for this excuse).

from what I’ve seen with successful nightgame friends, and experiences myself, most nightgame lays come from follow up dates if you’re number farming. I have a friend who advocates getting at least 7 numbers per night.

Number closing later at night is debatable. 15-20 years ago, you could number close in a bar and have a decent chance of seeing the woman again after the fact. In more recent times, number closing late at night in bars is only recommended to be done if she refuses the same night lay. Number closes late at night have experienced a higher flake rate than other ways of getting numbers.

If you want to number farm at bars and set up dates later that have a lower chance of flaking, I'd recommend doing approaches at 5-8 PM Mon-Fri Happy Hours than late at night at bars/nightclubs, especially late night Fri/Sat night.

If you are able to get 7 numbers per night doing late night number farming, it might be worth it but 5-6 of the 7 numbers are likely to flake late at night. If you number farm at Happy Hour at a more reasonable time of day, you might get 3 numbers per session but 2 don't flake. You'll need to burn through more volume late at night.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Agree that cold approach is hard as fucck. Getting IOIs and approach invitations is great and that is an awesome objective to have. If a man only approaches when he gets IOIs/invitations, he won't do much volume. The argument for that style of only approaching strangers when inviteed is that those approaches are more likely to lead to something worthwhile.

Agreed. I can't guarantee IOIs or approach invitations. I can get decked out. I can looks max. I have swag. I can increase probability. I cannot guarantee it nor girls approaching me. Instead I control the controllables. I advice fellas do through same. I still take Ls but like bone crusher, I'm never scared. Let's go!

A lot of men endure psychological trauma while taking the L's on cold approach. One can only hope to get good at cold approaching before the trauma of too many L's sets in.

Transcendental meditation is fire. Fellas need to disassociate from the game. Ty referred to freedom from outcome plus intent.

Agree that action is more essential than analyzing and YouTube video watching.

The game isn't a spectators game.

Getting cut throat is good. I don't think it's a volume game if you do the wrong things and do uncalibrated approaches leading to rejection. Many seducers get slaughtered taking the L's as they try to get laid. These are the PUAHate type guys, the incels, and the blackpillers.

I mean VOLUME to the point of near spam approach. Fellas to go through the fire. Not half step. Take the Ls but calibration is key. Live and learn. Meditation is a great tool.

World class and models with a 10% success rate. It puts perspective on game and cold approach.

 

[powersize]

1. Mostly girls who are rocking the dance floor don't want to be bothered, unless a friend introduces you to them.

I read The Mystery Method and even the author says - avoid dance floors.

OP read this book (in simple words it is about how to cold approach). I do not fully agree with everything written there but it is up to you how to interpret and use it.