Girl I am dating

[guynamedluke]

Hi, there is this girl I am dating since middle of December, in january I had covid so we only met once. On third date we were at my place, I only got some boob action and she was dry humping me like crazy but said no to sex. After that we went on two more dates but did not go to my place. She said to me once that she knows that she is not the only one I am dating. After the fifth date she is not texting me sexually anymore only platonic. I know her through my friends and i like her personality a lot and would like to try something more with her. She was very shy till 22 and as far as I know only had one bad experience with a man that was a player and dumped her when she wanted more.
And I really dont want the player answers now because I wanna try ltr. Question is, now that she texts platonic after the date, do you think that she is getting distant because she got attached and I did not say anything about exclusivity and she wants something more or she just lost attraction. The dates went always well, there was kissing and she was talking all the time. She is 25.

Really my question is, is it possible that she is getting a little distant because of the fact that she had a bad experience and I did not yet say something about a relationship and she just wants to protect herself. Or is this total bs and I should just move on.

The problem is she fits my personality really well, if that was not the case I would dump her. I live in a smaller country so there really are not that many girls I fit well. Yeah scarcity mindset here.

 

[guynamedluke]

Oh and on the last date when she was going home I said to her: maybe we will see each other again. That was really ****ty and dont know why I said it, I meant it jokingly, i texted her later that I wanted to see her again and not maybe. So maybe this was also the turning point.

 

[PRW63]

She just isn't that into you, that's all. She isn't impressed enough and has lost interest. While you are worried about if you should "move on" or not,...she probably already has,...at least emotionally. She was never your GF,...it never made it that far.

 

[Bingo-Player]

She just isn't that into you, that's all. She isn't impressed enough and has lost interest. While you are worried about if you should "move on" or not,...she probably already has,...at least emotionally. She was never your GF,...it never made it that far.

Pretty much

it always worries me when guys get girls in sexual situations and dont end up fvcking them

LMR is a common female ploy ..... she wants to see if your going too over power her and push for sex or walk away

only in very very isolated cases does she actually mean she doesn't want sex , its just another mind game just like everything else they do

You gave her too much respect and she got bored

 

[PRW63]

Pretty much

it always worries me when guys get girls in sexual situations and dont end up fvcking them

LMR is a common female ploy ..... she wants to see if your going too push for sex or walk away

only in very very isolated cases does she actually mean she doesn't want sex , its just another mind game just like everything else they do

You gave her too much respect and she got bored

I don't think it is even that complicated. She just wasn't really impressed with him enough at any point along the way. The truth is often the simplest.

As far as getting into sexual situations but no sex I have no problem with it. I'm a proud "Trad-Con" and unapologetic about it,....but I still understand game, social skills, dating skills, and I believe in them. They are just tools, and a mechanic can use his tools however he chooses as long as he is confident and competent. So that said,... there is a big difference between a guy who gets a woman in a sexual situation and then doesn't push for sex because he was incompetent, no confidence, and no skills,...-vs-,...a guy who knows full well what he is doing but makes choices based on his personal values. But I think the guy in this story lacked the skills, the game, etc.

 

[Dr.Suave]

U dodged a bullet. It was a waste of time anyway to ltr someone older than u. Just meet younger girls.

 

[Young OG]

Hi, there is this girl I am dating since middle of December, in january I had covid so we only met once. On third date we were at my place, I only got some boob action and she was dry humping me like crazy but said no to sex. After that we went on two more dates but did not go to my place. She said to me once that she knows that she is not the only one I am dating. After the fifth date she is not texting me sexually anymore only platonic. I know her through my friends and i like her personality a lot and would like to try something more with her. She was very shy till 22 and as far as I know only had one bad experience with a man that was a player and dumped her when she wanted more.
And I really dont want the player answers now because I wanna try ltr. Question is, now that she texts platonic after the date, do you think that she is getting distant because she got attached and I did not say anything about exclusivity and she wants something more or she just lost attraction. The dates went always well, there was kissing and she was talking all the time. She is 25.

Really my question is, is it possible that she is getting a little distant because of the fact that she had a bad experience and I did not yet say something about a relationship and she just wants to protect herself. Or is this total bs and I should just move on.

The problem is she fits my personality really well, if that was not the case I would dump her. I live in a smaller country so there really are not that many girls I fit well. Yeah scarcity mindset here.

Did you just give up after she said no sex? Women do that sometimes. It's called LMR (last minute resistance). When they do this, you back off for a little bit and then try again. I usually give up after this say no 3 times. But, normally they give in. She's probably bored of you and is talking to other guys. You need to bang these women as soon as possible nowadays. Move on and forget her. You shouldn't be going more then 3 dates without sex.

 

[guynamedluke]

Thanks for replies. Yeah it seems staying in bed all January with covid and not hitting the gym got to me.
I pushed for sex, she said no like 4 times and pushed my arms away and her shirt back in place.
Maybe went a little back to nice guy and pedestelize, true, will work on that.
Anyways, I started talking to some other girls today and feeling better. We'll se how it goes with the original girl.

For the next date, if there will be one, I will invite her to my place for wine.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Everytime a female outright denies sex or through her actions shows shes not interested and is going to reject you, and you're in a situation where logistics are favorable, you should try to push through.

I've learned that a woman may then go for the "you only want me for sex" discussion, which you should not participate in. Keep the pressure on, the next time you see her she will have regained the understanding that sex is a required part of the interaction - keep giving her the BETA stuff until you get to that point of trying to seduce her again. There is a reason why "makeup" sex is always top-tier.

Anyway my $.02 cents.

 

[Glassguy]

You're too "nice" OP and you friend zoned yourself.

She told you that she wanted more with the guy that played her. He fvcked her and you didn't. Let that sink in.
Women want a man that is not predictable, that she has to pursue.....that gets their juices flowing.

Learn to be more like that.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

As soon as men realize that some of the behaviors they MUST engage in that are contradictory to the nature to be easy going and nice, the sooner men will be happier with their outcomes.

It was one of the hardest things for me to learn. It’s sad but true. I’ve met women that I’d love to spend 100% of my free time with, literally banging them till they cannot walk, but force myself to not spend all my time with them. It’s truly the only thing that works. If you’re always around them and don’t have other activities that can take you away from them they WILL become complacent.

E.g. things are going great the chick, you’re tapping her repeatedly and she’s responsive- and she suddenly slows the flow of sex, you suddenly get busy for a few days then see how quickly she jumps on ya next time.

 

[RobbyDog]

This is a good thread. Reminds me that I am waaaay too nice with women and must change that to see results. Women will usually be nice on dates (niceness is typically a female trait), and it’s hard for the nice guy to not get sucked in by that. “Frame control”

 

[Striker_93]

Like some of the others have said, shes just not that into you.

But for future reference, women don't go on 5 dates without screwing the guy if she actually finds him attractive and is lustfully turned on by him.

Now that you know that you will no longer need to waste anymore of your young precious life on low interest women.....

You also seem like one of those overly
goody-goody/agreeable type guys with women, those guys don't get pvssy because they do not turn women on, sure, you can be nice and easy going around women, the players I know are very cool and easy going with women, but you still have to have that "EDGE" To you, they can sense this. That's what your missing at this point, AN EDGE. Research the word if you need to.

Unfortunately for you, you lost this girl and someone else is fvcking her, oh well, suck it up and get use to it because it's apart of the game.

Take it as a learning experience and get better, experiences like this tend to make a man out of you sometimes.

Keep trying, you will get better.

 

[Mike32ct]

Sometimes you really like a chick and you genuinely want to be her bf (fairly early on). The funny part is that guy seldom gets to become her bf.

The guy that only (at least initially) wants her for sex actually has a better shot at a relationship later if he wants it. He bangs her brains out, and she eventually gets attached.

Paragraph 1 is about the nice guy. (I still fall in this trap sometimes.)

Paragraph 2 is about the bad boy.

 

[guynamedluke]

Me again, we went on a hike on friday and on a drink. We had some kisses here and there but she did not come to my place. But I have another look on the situation now that may be plausible. She always says sorry when she makes little mistakes or thinks something is not ok with me, she talks non stop, like she is trying to prove herself to me, she was also talking about how she does not want to be a hostese at shows and doesnt want to be a bartender and she said it in a context like she doesnt want to be looked at like a sex object.
So maybe she wants security, to protect herself, before we have sex so I don't just leave her after?
I really dont have experience with serious dating so i am a little lost, should I have a talk with her about this or just ignore and go on dates?
I dont have oneitis I just want to get some experience from this if nothing else.

Something about me: a lot of people think that i have a lot of girls, so i guess i have that vibe of a playboy, so that could be an issue. I don't try to give out that vibe, I think it is in genes because my father is a lot like me. Dark hair with beard and make sexual jokes occasionally and am confident around girls. Also I never deny that I dont have a lot of girls, I just go with the flow if this topic comes. Maybe this is a personal issue and I make a false image of myself heh

 

[EyeBRollin]

No more questions. Go bang her.

 

[SW15]

Really my question is, is it possible that she is getting a little distant because of the fact that she had a bad experience and I did not yet say something about a relationship and she just wants to protect herself. Or is this total bs and I should just move on.

I'd lean towards moving on from her and starting fresh with someone else. Go out and make approaches.