Broke up and feeling like trash

[viking22]

Been in a similar situation myself Blacksheep.

Easy to blame yourself and of course you made mistakes coming on a bit too strong and having serious talks.

But I think if a girl has low interest and is unsure about a guy she may stick around if he doesn't put pressure on her but her interest level is unlikely to grow and her doubts are unlikely to resolve and eventually she will feel she is wasting her time or meet someone she really likes. So in a way you have saved yourself some time and money.

When girls have high interest level they make it easy for you so there is absolutely no reason to get needy or want to know where you stand because it will be so obvious and you will feel relaxed and confident.

 

[Striker_93]

Ey, sh!t happens, you'll get over it, man up and learn to deal with your emotions, life is full of disappointments.

And don't listen to the other posters saying you shouldn't of did this or that ect, there are no techniques when dealing with women,, interest and attraction level trumps everything else,, if she was really into you none of this would matter, you didn't do anything wrong, she just wasn't all that into you, big deal......

Keep meeting women, it gets better and easier.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Have to use this as a learning experience because you made a lot of mistakes that showed her you were very needy of her attention and unsure of yourself.

That is one of the biggest turnoffs for women. Pretty much will dry up any attraction they felt for you.

 

[Blacksheep]

Been in a similar situation myself Blacksheep.

Easy to blame yourself and of course you made mistakes coming on a bit too strong and having serious talks.

But I think if a girl has low interest and is unsure about a guy she may stick around if he doesn't put pressure on her but her interest level is unlikely to grow and her doubts are unlikely to resolve and eventually she will feel she is wasting her time or meet someone she really likes. So in a way you have saved yourself some time and money.

When girls have high interest level they make it easy for you so there is absolutely no reason to get needy or want to know where you stand because it will be so obvious and you will feel relaxed and confident.

Thats true man! Thanks for your reply

Im already talking to other girls and just made a workout now... Also reading replies here really helped to put my mind on track again.

 

[Blacksheep]

Ey, sh!t happens, you'll get over it, man up and learn to deal with your emotions, life is full of disappointments.

And don't listen to the other posters saying you shouldn't of did this or that ect, there are no techniques when dealing with women,, interest and attraction level trumps everything else,, if she was really into you none of this would matter, you didn't do anything wrong, she just wasn't all that into you, big deal......

Keep meeting women, it gets better and easier.

Thanks man! And thats a good point.

I know when I have feelings for someone its difficult to think only on a logical way and feelings can mess everything. The key is just keep learning and improving whats not working.

She didnt respected me in some situations and I should not stay with someone who do that.

 

[Blacksheep]

Have to use this as a learning experience because you made a lot of mistakes that showed her you were very needy of her attention and unsure of yourself.

That is one of the biggest turnoffs for women. Pretty much will dry up any attraction they felt for you.

Its hard but its true.

I lost myself on those feelings and ended up in that position. But I thought about that and maybe if there was a genuine interest level by both, it would not have insecure feelings.

From what Ive learned so far she made some games to destabilize my emotions... Maybe a test. And that made me insecure and needy cause I felt bad about it.

It was not turning her off, but it seems she also enjoyed doing that. Its just an idea after thinking about that, it might not be true

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Its hard but its true.

I lost myself on those feelings and ended up in that position. But I thought about that and maybe if there was a genuine interest level by both, it would not have insecure feelings.

From what Ive learned so far she made some games to destabilize my emotions... Maybe a test. And that made me insecure and needy cause I felt bad about it.

It was not turning her off, but it seems she also enjoyed doing that. Its just an idea after thinking about that, it might not be true

I think at the end of the day the truth is you were way more into her than she was into you. It sucks but it happens. I've dated a few women like that and it kinda sucks but it's life.

She did you a favor by not wasting anymore of your time...this was not going anywhere.

 

[Blacksheep]

I think at the end of the day the truth is you were way more into her than she was into you. It sucks but it happens. I've dated a few women like that and it kinda sucks but it's life.

She did you a favor by not wasting anymore of your time...this was not going anywhere.

Agree with that. And this really sucks... We invest time, feeling and money kind for nothing.

But I know I was not the one losing. Cause I know that I cared about her and gave my best. If she couldnt value it... Thats the best thing that could happened.

 

[B80]

UPDATE OF WHAT HAPENNED THIS WEEK:

- She texted me and said she wanted to get back. We talk, and got back.
- She told me she had talked with a gay friend. I asked if she would matter if I talked to a lesbian, she said yes and that she would cut off this guy (after that I saw on her conversation with him that he was bisexual and heard and audio of him saying that he also loves *****.). She lied about that. It was on monday.
- On tuesday she still kept talking with him. She lied and didn't commit to what we agreed on. Only found it cause I asked her to show that conversation. She also devalued me and said som stupid things.
- Now today I just read some whatsapp talks with her brother and her mother, and when she broke up with me she said a lot of bullsh1ts like (Daddy's boy, crazy, needy, and all that bullsh1t). I'm so Daddy's boy that I pay all my bills and I was also paying for all our weekends together. I played a game with her this time, that some people used to said those things about me... And asked her if she would always said that about me. She promised by her faith in God that never did and never would did. Then I just catch how a liear she was.

At the end, I just got her stuffs... gave her and said we were ok. When I arrived here I texted her the same way she texted me on saturday, and just said that I knew she lied and she knew it. Thats my goodbye and please respect me and doesnt try to contact me anymore.

Now I'm 100% sure all those little games she did and I felt bad, was manipulative. And this one would ended up cheating or doing something worse if I kept this relationship. I shouldn't have allowed to get back and talk... But it was good cause it made me found out those lies, saw those conversations and was sure of who she really was without masks.

Still hard, still feel sad because I liked her. But I love myself first, and I can't accept disrespect. And I'm also pissed off with all this sh1t.

Cliche, but times the best healer mate. need something you love, purpose to focus on to keep you occupied. And other women if you;re up for doing that, really does move things on ime.

As for trash talk - in my experience EVERY woman who breaks up with a man tends to talk sh1t about him to others. Even if they are (at least initially) civil, nice to you. 'Its not you its me, ' you deserve better' then something like 'I love you but not in love you with you' etc.

They'll then talk sh1t about you, exagerating stuff, even making things up to make you sound like an arsehole/loser. Whether its some natural thing they do to justify why they left you and its not their fault etc. Best position to take is no matter how close you thought you were, assume most women will do this. Its nots a reflection on you, just what they seem to do. Obviously self reflection needed too in case some work is needed to for the future.

 

[Blacksheep]

Cliche, but times the best healer mate. need something you love, purpose to focus on to keep you occupied. And other women if you;re up for doing that, really does move things on ime.

As for trash talk - in my experience EVERY woman who breaks up with a man tends to talk sh1t about him to others. Even if they are (at least initially) civil, nice to you. 'Its not you its me, ' you deserve better' then something like 'I love you but not in love you with you' etc.

They'll then talk sh1t about you, exagerating stuff, even making things up to make you sound like an arsehole/loser. Whether its some natural thing they do to justify why they left you and its not their fault etc. Best position to take is no matter how close you thought you were, assume most women will do this. Its nots a reflection on you, just what they seem to do. Obviously self-reflection needed too in case some work is needed to for the future.

That's true man! I can remember some women I dated and on the first date told how awful their ex-bf was to her. Same pattern. Maybe it becomes easier to just kill a feeling we had for someone thinking that way. Like a defense mechanism created by our mind to cope with.

She sent me a huge text today, saying how she loved me and how she gave up on her friends, family, and situations for me and how she did everything on my way. It's funny... Cause it's just like I did no sacrifices for her and did not give up anything for her. For friends, she refers to those guys she used to talk to. But she sent me and at the end said that she will always love me.

And she also said that she really didn't remember that she told all those bad stuff about me to her family. And that she really didn't lie to me about it because she was angry and didn't remember that. I don't deny the possibility that she is really telling the truth, but it doesn't seem like it.

Anyways, feeling calmer I can see that it seems she is trying to play with my emotions and always did that. Because this kind of speech doesn't seems right for me.