Is there any point dating someone who's about to change location

[Dam44]

Hello everyone

Last December, I met this amazing girl and I got her contact

We really have feelings for each other but she would be graduating in max one month plus a few weeks max. I'm not yet graduating as my course is longer

So she would have to leave the city. I really like her and she does too. She once asked me if I wanted something more platonic but I told her it wouldn't really be sustainable after she leaves.

In the past weeks, we've been really touchy, long hugs and intimate touches, pecks and all. We would have kissed n.... but I refused as I didn't want to complicate matters as she would be leaving soon. I don't really fancy long distance relationships

Do you think I should go ahead and make her my girlfriend for the one month before she leaves? What do you think?

PS: I really regret it because I have seen her like year earlier but I developed cold feet in approaching her there

 

[Stuffnu]

First grab hand, then slap yourself.
Get yourself laid man!

 

[Masculinity]

You sound emotionally over-invested. In reality, you are taking these steps to protect your feelings. You would be amazed at what a woman with a high IL can do for a man. I would keep seeing her and sleeping with her. If you know it is going to end, propose some of your sexual desires with her (maybe a three-way encounter, for example). If it is going to end, you have nothing to lose.

 

[Striker_93]

Enjoy her while she's here,, stay in touch when she leaves,, forget about a LTR.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Hello everyone

Last December, I met this amazing girl and I got her contact

We really have feelings for each other but she would be graduating in max one month plus a few weeks max. I'm not yet graduating as my course is longer

So she would have to leave the city. I really like her and she does too. She once asked me if I wanted something more platonic but I told her it wouldn't really be sustainable after she leaves.

In the past weeks, we've been really touchy, long hugs and intimate touches, pecks and all. We would have kissed n.... but I refused as I didn't want to complicate matters as she would be leaving soon. I don't really fancy long distance relationships

Do you think I should go ahead and make her my girlfriend for the one month before she leaves? What do you think?

PS: I really regret it because I have seen her like year earlier but I developed cold feet in approaching her there

This smells of an attempted humble brag, what's the question here? What does making her your girlfriend even mean to you? Exclusivity? What are your goals? Sex until she leaves then on to the next local conquest? Do you want to marry this girl? There's no wrong goal but without stated goals and a more specific question our answers will be just as vague.

Ideally you have a ton going on in your life and talking to girls and sleeping with girls isn't something rare to you. You would enjoy your remaining time with her to the capacity you feel comfortable. You don't need to label the relationship to have fun with her, just like you don't need to become emotionally attached to a person to be affectionate with them. Relax, there's no rush, women are everywhere, enjoy yourself.

 

[Dam44]

You sound emotionally over-invested. In reality, you are taking these steps to protect your feelings. You would be amazed at what a woman with a high IL can do for a man. I would keep seeing her and sleeping with her. If you know it is going to end, propose some of your sexual desires with her (maybe a three-way encounter, for example). If it is going to end, you have nothing to lose.

Yes, I guess you're right. Im protecting my feelings and I'm trying to rationalise it.

So ill just enjoy it while it lasts

 

[Dam44]

This smells of an attempted humble brag, what's the question here? What does making her your girlfriend even mean to you? Exclusivity? What are your goals? Sex until she leaves then on to the next local conquest? Do you want to marry this girl? There's no wrong goal but without stated goals and a more specific question our answers will be just as vague.

Ideally you have a ton going on in your life and talking to girls and sleeping with girls isn't something rare to you. You would enjoy your remaining time with her to the capacity you feel comfortable. You don't need to label the relationship to have fun with her, just like you don't need to become emotionally attached to a person to be affectionate with them. Relax, there's no rush, women are everywhere, enjoy yourself.

Lol, I wasn't trying to brag... Maybe it came off that way. Yes, exclusivity.

I guess I'm being too emotionally attached already, labels won't change anything that much. But I think it's because she really likes me

Thank you, I'll just enjoy what's left and keep in touch once in a while with her

 

[SW15]

@Dam44 -- Everything you describe is normal.

There's not much of a point in dating someone who is about to leave for a new city. It's not worth ceasing the interaction though. Enjoy the moment and have a shorter term orientation.

What's described in this thread is commonly why a lot of relationships formed in colleges/universities at either the undergraduate or graduate school levels fail. If you have two people who form a relationship when they are both in school, sooner or later both graduate if they keep up with their studies. One or both are likely to accept a job in a city different from where that school is located.

When I got into my senior year of college, I knew that I would most likely be relocating to another city upon graduation. That impacted the progression of my relationships. When I was in graduate school, I knew with 100% certainty that I wouldn't be remaining in the area where my graduate school was located once I graduated. That also impacted my approach to romance and my timelines/goals etc.

People form lasting relationships from undergrad and graduate school all the time. I've seen it with people I know. I know a woman who formed a relationship with a man when she was in the final semester of her senior year and 1-2 months away from graduation. The man she met was only a junior and had to complete senior year at that school in that city. It would have been easy for her to let those 1-2 months expire and graduate as a fully free and independent woman. She did not have a job offer at graduation so she hung around the university city for a year to see where the relationship would go while her new guy would do senior year. That relationship has stayed together for over 10 years. Her interest level (IL) was sky high. Women with super high IL's do irrational things like postpone a career.

 

[2Rocky]

Sounds cliche but sometimes the line "I'm not here for a long time, but I'm here for a good time" rings true. The key is to find that woman who feels that way TOO.
Things I may have said when that situation was the case
"Just because we may have a short time together doesn't mean we shouldn't make the most of it. "
"This might not be making a great relationship, but it will make a great memory."
"I'm not going to try to predict the future, I'm just going to live in the moment"
"We still have time to have an adventure."
"I'd rather remember fondly what was , rather than wonder what could have been"

Don't make the mistake of thinking you have to make every girl you interact with your girlfriend. You can give them the "girlfriend experience" (Except don't say that, it is a common term in escort lingo) which basically is a whirlwind romance in a short amount of time sharing good emotional experiences. Examples might be summer camp romances, vacation flings, Summer hookups, etc. Kind of a Trial relationship with "no harm no foul" clause at the end. YOu know there will be a deadline so you mentally prepare yourself for that.

 

[EyeBRollin]

How many times have you had sex with her?

 

[Mike32ct]

You’re gonna blow an opportunity with your crush because you fear it is time limited?

Make some memories. Even if she’s only your gf for a few weeks. You’ll be kicking yourself if you don’t.

 

[MatureDJ]

Unless you are quickly doing the nasty, I wouldn't bother. The bottom line is ...

It's OVER for LongDistanceCels.

 

[MatureDJ]

How many times have you had sex with her?

BINGO! What's better than Beta orbitor who isn't even local?

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Hello everyone

Last December, I met this amazing girl and I got her contact

We really have feelings for each other but she would be graduating in max one month plus a few weeks max. I'm not yet graduating as my course is longer

So she would have to leave the city. I really like her and she does too. She once asked me if I wanted something more platonic but I told her it wouldn't really be sustainable after she leaves.

In the past weeks, we've been really touchy, long hugs and intimate touches, pecks and all. We would have kissed n.... but I refused as I didn't want to complicate matters as she would be leaving soon. I don't really fancy long distance relationships

Do you think I should go ahead and make her my girlfriend for the one month before she leaves? What do you think?

PS: I really regret it because I have seen her like year earlier but I developed cold feet in approaching her there

No, move on.


Modern Man Advice

 

[Dam44]

@Dam44 -- Everything you describe is normal.

There's not much of a point in dating someone who is about to leave for a new city. It's not worth ceasing the interaction though. Enjoy the moment and have a shorter term orientation.

What's described in this thread is commonly why a lot of relationships formed in colleges/universities at either the undergraduate or graduate school levels fail. If you have two people who form a relationship when they are both in school, sooner or later both graduate if they keep up with their studies. One or both are likely to accept a job in a city different from where that school is located.

When I got into my senior year of college, I knew that I would most likely be relocating to another city upon graduation. That impacted the progression of my relationships. When I was in graduate school, I knew with 100% certainty that I wouldn't be remaining in the area where my graduate school was located once I graduated. That also impacted my approach to romance and my timelines/goals etc.

People form lasting relationships from undergrad and graduate school all the time. I've seen it with people I know. I know a woman who formed a relationship with a man when she was in the final semester of her senior year and 1-2 months away from graduation. The man she met was only a junior and had to complete senior year at that school in that city. It would have been easy for her to let those 1-2 months expire and graduate as a fully free and independent woman. She did not have a job offer at graduation so she hung around the university city for a year to see where the relationship would go while her new guy would do senior year. That relationship has stayed together for over 10 years. Her interest level (IL) was sky high. Women with super high IL's do irrational things like postpone a career.

Thank you for this. I'll enjoy the moment

 

[bat soup]

In the past weeks, we've been really touchy, long hugs and intimate touches, pecks and all. We would have kissed n.... but I refused as I didn't want to complicate matters as she would be leaving soon.

Make it simple by kissing her, fkking her and forgetting her after she leaves.

 

[Ricky]

Think of it like i did way back in 2002 when i moved to San Diego for the summer. I was there finishing a masters degree thesis and knew at the time i'd be there only for a summer. I had a girlfriend back in Ohio, but met alot of women out there. I was there to get work done on my thesis, have fun and apply for some jobs in California.

Its possible i could have landed a job in California and stayed there, it's possible i could have met a girl i really liked (i met several and stayed there).. but i didn't think about tall that too much. I was too concentrated on having fun each day. Had some great experiences. It's easier to do if you stay out of your head and avoid tripping on your own d$%k!

 

[Bokanovsky]

Hello everyone

Last December, I met this amazing girl and I got her contact

We really have feelings for each other but she would be graduating in max one month plus a few weeks max. I'm not yet graduating as my course is longer

So she would have to leave the city. I really like her and she does too. She once asked me if I wanted something more platonic but I told her it wouldn't really be sustainable after she leaves.

In the past weeks, we've been really touchy, long hugs and intimate touches, pecks and all. We would have kissed n.... but I refused as I didn't want to complicate matters as she would be leaving soon. I don't really fancy long distance relationships

Do you think I should go ahead and make her my girlfriend for the one month before she leaves? What do you think?

PS: I really regret it because I have seen her like year earlier but I developed cold feet in approaching her there

If I was reading this without knowing your gender, I would have assumed that this was written by a woman.

 

[Dam44]

She's preparing for her final year project defense, we should see again in a 2/3 days time

I'll move from there