Broke up and feeling like trash

[Blacksheep]

I cant get into details cause Im feeling stupid.

But I think I became emotional attached to her cause I liked her so much, and she doesnt seem to have the same even I knowing she liked me.

I said I love to her and she reply that she didnt knew if loved me.

She went to sleep during a conversation we were having on whatsapp without telling me. I was waiting for 30min before calling her to see what happened.

When I said I liked her so much, she didnt said she also was liking me too. Just kept silence.

We broke up because of a priority talk. In the end I said we could stay together but I would not put her as priority anymore, cause I wasnt for her too. Not getting into details here because the reason for this I feel like retard. After that , next day she just sent me a message telling that she thinks we were not meant to be together and thats better to break up.

I fck all my goals last night. Got drunk, smoke, went to a party (risking of getting covid).

Im feeling my headt broken. Im feeling that I fcked up my relationship because Im so broken inside I cant even keep a good relationship with a woman. My mind is getting crazy right now because of my feelings and imagining I wont see her again.

This is not like being a high value guy, but I just have this feeling and I need some help. Im feeling very depressed with that.

 

[Blacksheep]

I never felt like I'm feeling right now, I need help cause I don't know what to do.

Im not being able to handle this

 

[bmp2cpm]

Stop being so hard on yourself.

You need to focus on yourself right now.

You are not in a good place to lead and be in relationship with anyone.

During your life, there will be women that you will be much more into than they will be with you. You cannot be with these women because your feeelings for them prevent you from being the leader in the relationship. Your strong feelings for this girl are a turn off for her.

I do believe you put yourself in a “no-win” situation. There was nothing you could have done to win the girl. Every guy has done this at least once in his life.

Whenever you fall for a woman that doesn’t fall for you, put very little effort into getting her, just in case you are reading her feelings wrong. If you are sure of her feelings, disengage and focus on other women.

The key to successful relationships is get involved with a woman you have good chemistry where the woman cares more about you than you do with her. Only in this situation, can you effectively lead and succeed. This is what women want.

Focus on yourself. Ignore the negative news, get off your phone and get out and do activities. Make friends, establish a real, non-electronic social network and a good woman will find you.

Speaking of goals, get a nice journal book and write down what your goals are: short-term, long term. Write things down. Write down your successes and failures. This clears the mind and helps you see things in a new light.

Good luck!

“There are a million things in this universe you can have and there are a million things you can’t have. It’s no fun facing that, but that’s the way things are.” – Capt. James T. Kirk

 

[Blacksheep]

Stop being so hard on yourself.

You need to focus on yourself right now.

You are not in a good place to lead and be in relationship with anyone.

During your life, there will be women that you will be much more into than they will be with you. You cannot be with these women because your feeelings for them prevent you from being the leader in the relationship. Your strong feelings for this girl are a turn off for her.

I do believe you put yourself in a “no-win” situation. There was nothing you could have done to win the girl. Every guy has done this at least once in his life.

Whenever you fall for a woman that doesn’t fall for you, put very little effort into getting her, just in case you are reading her feelings wrong. If you are sure of her feelings, disengage and focus on other women.

The key to successful relationships is get involved with a woman you have good chemistry where the woman cares more about you than you do with her. Only in this situation, can you effectively lead and succeed. This is what women want.

Focus on yourself. Ignore the negative news, get off your phone and get out and do activities. Make friends, establish a real, non-electronic social network and a good woman will find you.

Speaking of goals, get a nice journal book and write down what your goals are: short-term, long term. Write things down. Write down your successes and failures. This clears the mind and helps you see things in a new light.

Good luck!

“There are a million things in this universe you can have and there are a million things you can’t have. It’s no fun facing that, but that’s the way things are.” – Capt. James T. Kirk

Thanks for your support man!

That's true... I've heard that before and I think I was on that kind of situation. I was too much into her, and I think she was not that much... And it really seems that this is a turn off for woman.

Im doing well and I can't allow those things to put me down or destroy my goals. It's sad it doesnt work but thats how life if... Just have to move on.

 

[Jack22]

Will do, thanks for the great post @bmp2cpm !

 

[Dr.Suave]

I said I love to her and she reply that she didnt knew if loved me.

She went to sleep during a conversation we were having on whatsapp without telling me. I was waiting for 30min before calling her to see what happened.

When I said I liked her so much, she didnt said she also was liking me too. Just kept silence.

We broke up because of a priority talk. In the end I said we could stay together but I would not put her as priority anymore, cause I wasnt for her too. Not getting into details here because the reason for this I feel like retard. After that , next day she just sent me a message telling that she thinks we were not meant to be together and thats better to break up.

You made some mistakes bro. U never say I love u first. If she says it first and u already had sex at least once, then maybe u can say it back.

U were having a conversation on whatsapp? No no no. U should be too busy for having long conversations on whatsapp, or at least pretend to be busy, long texts can send u to the friendzone. Keep texting to a minimum, use it mostly to set up dates.

And then u panicked when she didnt answer and called her. This woulddnt have happened if you werent texting that much.

U said u could stay together? U dont push for a relationship, u let her worry about that stuff.

Look, I will post something that was originally my reply to a guy attending a boot camp. In the bootcamp they tasked him to cold approach but he wasnt doing so good. I hope it helps.

Original post follows:

DJ bootcamp? Your TASK was to talk to girls?

Im sorry I disagree with all of this. I dont like the mindset.

That stuff never really worked for me. Becuase the focus was on getting the girls. While this might work for some people, for me it created scarcity mindset.

What recently worked for me was focusing on doing stuff I actually enjoy, while triple booking with OLD matches the same date, time, and place to come and join me.

If none of them cancelled, I would go out with the hottest one and I would make something up to flake on the other girls. My main focus was enjoying the actual date more than the girl herself.

Btw, I dunno if Murphys law or what, but when I singled book, the girl would flake more than half of the time. When triple booking, none would cancel and I had to flake on the other girls.

I would invite them to a restaurant I was actually craving for, or to watch the latest blockbuster I actually wanted to see. I believe that being focus on enojying the actual date would give off the abundance mindset instead of neediness or scarcity mindset and girls would somehow sense it and they loved it.

Texting was nothing special. No PUA tricks.

Text One: "Hey girl. How´s ur weekend going?" When matching during weekend. If matching Monday/Tuesday it was "Hey girl. How was your weekend?". If matching Wednesday/Thursday "Hey girl. Any cool plans for the upcoming weekend?"
Her: Bla bla bla

Next text: "Cool. What do you enjoy doing with your free time?"
Her: bla bla bla

If we have suff in common:

"Looks like we have a lot in common. Im craving my favorite sushi place, wanna meet 5:30ish pm next saturday?" Maybe Im implying that since we have stuff in common I wanna get to know her better.

If we dont have that much in common:

"I live in X city by Y mall. Anything interesting near your house?"
Her: Bla bla bla
"My favorite Burger place is very close to your house. Wanna meet Next saturday evening and grab a bite?"


If there was a new movie I actually wanted to see.
"I wanna watch the new Marvel movie. Lets go on day 1 to avoid spoilers. My favorite movie place has a show at 6pm"

No long texts. No double texting. No over-talking or over-sharing. STFU, Keep it simple and more or less mirror her response time.

Someone showed at the date, because u triple booked. Cool. At the end tell her something like "Text me when u are home safe". When she texts u shes home, I just reply "Descansa" which is similar to have a good nights rest or something like that. Dissappear 1-3 days and ask her out again.

If she shows up AGAIN, means she has high interest. U r in the clear now. As long as u dont mess it up or lose interest in her urself, u will bang this girl sooner or later. Just remember to escalate.

Have you give exclusivity to a girl before? Ok, Never again give exclusivity to a girl unless you like her more than your last ltr, or at least as much. No way u gonna settle for less.

U in a ltr? How frequent is the sex? No point being exclusive if you are getting less amount of sex than u could get spinning plates. She should want sex more than you or at least just as much; dont became on of those guys in an exclusive relationship who only gets laid once in a blue moon.

 

[Bokanovsky]

The key to successful relationships is get involved with a woman you have good chemistry where the woman cares more about you than you do with her. Only in this situation, can you effectively lead and succeed. This is what women want.

And therein lies the paradox. On the one hand, you are right: the person who cares less “wins”. On the other hand, there is no satisfaction in that victory. If you are with a girl you don’t care that much about, you will grow bored of her rather quickly. It’s like saying that the best way to lose weight is to eat the food you don’t enjoy.

 

[2Rocky]

I hope you have some other "prospects" scouted out. My most memorable breakup happened on Thursday, that Friday or Saturday night I bedded a lower tier woman and discovered that the best way to get over one woman is to get inside a different one. that got my head right so that when I met the hot girl from my biology lab a week or two later, I could approach her and I wasn't thinking about the girl who had dumped me.

Ended up marrying that girl...but that's a different story....

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I cant get into details cause Im feeling stupid.

But I think I became emotional attached to her cause I liked her so much, and she doesnt seem to have the same even I knowing she liked me.

I said I love to her and she reply that she didnt knew if loved me.

She went to sleep during a conversation we were having on whatsapp without telling me. I was waiting for 30min before calling her to see what happened.

When I said I liked her so much, she didnt said she also was liking me too. Just kept silence.

We broke up because of a priority talk. In the end I said we could stay together but I would not put her as priority anymore, cause I wasnt for her too. Not getting into details here because the reason for this I feel like retard. After that , next day she just sent me a message telling that she thinks we were not meant to be together and thats better to break up.

I fck all my goals last night. Got drunk, smoke, went to a party (risking of getting covid).

Im feeling my headt broken. Im feeling that I fcked up my relationship because Im so broken inside I cant even keep a good relationship with a woman. My mind is getting crazy right now because of my feelings and imagining I wont see her again.

This is not like being a high value guy, but I just have this feeling and I need some help. Im feeling very depressed with that.

Always keep a backup around until you are certain she's a keeper. Men cannot love a women first.

Time will heal. Try to meet new women.

 

[Blacksheep]

UPDATE OF WHAT HAPENNED THIS WEEK:

- She texted me and said she wanted to get back. We talk, and got back.
- She told me she had talked with a gay friend. I asked if she would matter if I talked to a lesbian, she said yes and that she would cut off this guy (after that I saw on her conversation with him that he was bisexual and heard and audio of him saying that he also loves *****.). She lied about that. It was on monday.
- On tuesday she still kept talking with him. She lied and didn't commit to what we agreed on. Only found it cause I asked her to show that conversation. She also devalued me and said som stupid things.
- Now today I just read some whatsapp talks with her brother and her mother, and when she broke up with me she said a lot of bullsh1ts like (Daddy's boy, crazy, needy, and all that bullsh1t). I'm so Daddy's boy that I pay all my bills and I was also paying for all our weekends together. I played a game with her this time, that some people used to said those things about me... And asked her if she would always said that about me. She promised by her faith in God that never did and never would did. Then I just catch how a liear she was.

At the end, I just got her stuffs... gave her and said we were ok. When I arrived here I texted her the same way she texted me on saturday, and just said that I knew she lied and she knew it. Thats my goodbye and please respect me and doesnt try to contact me anymore.

Now I'm 100% sure all those little games she did and I felt bad, was manipulative. And this one would ended up cheating or doing something worse if I kept this relationship. I shouldn't have allowed to get back and talk... But it was good cause it made me found out those lies, saw those conversations and was sure of who she really was without masks.

Still hard, still feel sad because I liked her. But I love myself first, and I can't accept disrespect. And I'm also pissed off with all this sh1t.

 

[Blacksheep]

You made some mistakes bro. U never say I love u first. If she says it first and u already had sex at least once, then maybe u can say it back.

U were having a conversation on whatsapp? No no no. U should be too busy for having long conversations on whatsapp, or at least pretend to be busy, long texts can send u to the friendzone. Keep texting to a minimum, use it mostly to set up dates.

And then u panicked when she didnt answer and called her. This woulddnt have happened if you werent texting that much.

U said u could stay together? U dont push for a relationship, u let her worry about that stuff.

Look, I will post something that was originally my reply to a guy attending a boot camp. In the bootcamp they tasked him to cold approach but he wasnt doing so good. I hope it helps.

Original post follows:

DJ bootcamp? Your TASK was to talk to girls?

Im sorry I disagree with all of this. I dont like the mindset.

That stuff never really worked for me. Becuase the focus was on getting the girls. While this might work for some people, for me it created scarcity mindset.

What recently worked for me was focusing on doing stuff I actually enjoy, while triple booking with OLD matches the same date, time, and place to come and join me.

If none of them cancelled, I would go out with the hottest one and I would make something up to flake on the other girls. My main focus was enjoying the actual date more than the girl herself.

Btw, I dunno if Murphys law or what, but when I singled book, the girl would flake more than half of the time. When triple booking, none would cancel and I had to flake on the other girls.

I would invite them to a restaurant I was actually craving for, or to watch the latest blockbuster I actually wanted to see. I believe that being focus on enojying the actual date would give off the abundance mindset instead of neediness or scarcity mindset and girls would somehow sense it and they loved it.

Texting was nothing special. No PUA tricks.

Text One: "Hey girl. How´s ur weekend going?" When matching during weekend. If matching Monday/Tuesday it was "Hey girl. How was your weekend?". If matching Wednesday/Thursday "Hey girl. Any cool plans for the upcoming weekend?"
Her: Bla bla bla

Next text: "Cool. What do you enjoy doing with your free time?"
Her: bla bla bla

If we have suff in common:

"Looks like we have a lot in common. Im craving my favorite sushi place, wanna meet 5:30ish pm next saturday?" Maybe Im implying that since we have stuff in common I wanna get to know her better.

If we dont have that much in common:

"I live in X city by Y mall. Anything interesting near your house?"
Her: Bla bla bla
"My favorite Burger place is very close to your house. Wanna meet Next saturday evening and grab a bite?"


If there was a new movie I actually wanted to see.
"I wanna watch the new Marvel movie. Lets go on day 1 to avoid spoilers. My favorite movie place has a show at 6pm"

No long texts. No double texting. No over-talking or over-sharing. STFU, Keep it simple and more or less mirror her response time.

Someone showed at the date, because u triple booked. Cool. At the end tell her something like "Text me when u are home safe". When she texts u shes home, I just reply "Descansa" which is similar to have a good nights rest or something like that. Dissappear 1-3 days and ask her out again.

If she shows up AGAIN, means she has high interest. U r in the clear now. As long as u dont mess it up or lose interest in her urself, u will bang this girl sooner or later. Just remember to escalate.

Have you give exclusivity to a girl before? Ok, Never again give exclusivity to a girl unless you like her more than your last ltr, or at least as much. No way u gonna settle for less.

U in a ltr? How frequent is the sex? No point being exclusive if you are getting less amount of sex than u could get spinning plates. She should want sex more than you or at least just as much; dont became on of those guys in an exclusive relationship who only gets laid once in a blue moon.

Good text man! Thanks for that!

 

[Blacksheep]

I hope you have some other "prospects" scouted out. My most memorable breakup happened on Thursday, that Friday or Saturday night I bedded a lower tier woman and discovered that the best way to get over one woman is to get inside a different one. that got my head right so that when I met the hot girl from my biology lab a week or two later, I could approach her and I wasn't thinking about the girl who had dumped me.

Ended up marrying that girl...but that's a different story....

Unfortunately don't. I will try to find one but I will not nurture any feelings. But, it might be really good to just fck another woman and don't isolate myself because I'm feeling sad.

 

[Blacksheep]

And therein lies the paradox. On the one hand, you are right: the person who cares less “wins”. On the other hand, there is no satisfaction in that victory. If you are with a girl you don’t care that much about, you will grow bored of her rather quickly. It’s like saying that the best way to lose weight is to eat the food you don’t enjoy.

That's true. But I have to say, it seems veryyy veryy difficult to find someone who can be truly genuine and both have the same feelings intensity.

I still hopes someday I could find it... But its so many failures in that field that sometimes I don't know if I will be able to find it.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I'm feeling sad.

Cheer up bro. This stuff happens and we are all learning here, but we are also lifting each other up. Just chill the f0ck out, dirnk a f0cking beer, hit the gym, spin some plates, and do something awesome

 

[Blacksheep]

Always keep a backup around until you are certain she's a keeper. Men cannot love a women first.

Time will heal. Try to meet new women.

Yep, I got too quickly into a relationship with her and was blinded because of emotions. Some red flags just showed up at my face like a heavy punch from a boxer guy. Damn it hurts, but I'm happy to found it and be free from that.

Thanks man!

 

[Blacksheep]

Cheer up bro. This stuff happens and we are all learning here, but we are also lifting each other up. Just chill the f0ck out, dirnk a f0cking beer, hit the gym, spin some plates, and do something awesome

Thanks bro! That's true... And it's very good to have a place like here where there is some genuine feedbacks and based on reality. IT really helps see things on a different way.

 

[2Rocky]

Unfortunately don't. I will try to find one but I will not nurture any feelings. But, it might be really good to just fck another woman and don't isolate myself because I'm feeling sad.

Eventually, after enough of these heartbreaks, you learn to keep your eye open for "interested women". They may not be head over heels for you but they notice you and they are curious. It's important that you don't let a relationship with one woman blind you to "possibilities" . Sometimes being "unavailable" makes this easier.

I just came back from a work function where I took my LTR. I've had a work relationship with a number of the female sales reps for 20 years. We all met up at a bar in the evening. My LTR observed me and said that she found it interesting my demeanor and the way these women acted around me. She said their voices got a little higher, and they were almost giggly. And that I was charming and "almost a little flirty, but not obvious." I'm pretty confident that those married female sales reps would be my Primo wing women if i showed up at a function and happened to be single again.

Blacksheep, just cultivate CHARM in your social and professional life. If you are a person people want to be around because you make them feel good, your won't be alone. The key is not to give away your money, soul or power when you do that.

 

[Blacksheep]

Eventually, after enough of these heartbreaks, you learn to keep your eye open for "interested women". They may not be head over heels for you but they notice you and they are curious. It's important that you don't let a relationship with one woman blind you to "possibilities" . Sometimes being "unavailable" makes this easier.

I just came back from a work function where I took my LTR. I've had a work relationship with a number of the female sales reps for 20 years. We all met up at a bar in the evening. My LTR observed me and said that she found it interesting my demeanor and the way these women acted around me. She said their voices got a little higher, and they were almost giggly. And that I was charming and "almost a little flirty, but not obvious." I'm pretty confident that those married female sales reps would be my Primo wing women if i showed up at a function and happened to be single again.

Blacksheep, just cultivate CHARM in your social and professional life. If you are a person people want to be around because you make them feel good, your won't be alone. The key is not to give away your money, soul or power when you do that.

Thats true man! I have a lot to learn on thie field, and this one served as a lesson to keep in mind.

A friend of mind told me since the beginning: there is something weird on this girl. Don't lose your respect for her.

 

[derby1]

She went to sleep during a conversation we were having on whatsapp without telling me.

I would love to be in a womans mind, they literally have ZERO honour or courtesy for men. I find it fascinating the pure solipsism

 

[Blacksheep]

I would love to be in a womans mind, they literally have ZERO honour or courtesy for men. I find it fascinating the pure solipsism

I would like to do that too.

And how some can be such cold liars. They say men treat women as object... But I think its not men.