Work stress - how much is too much?

[FlexpertHamilton]

I started a new job 3 months ago and the last month it has become quite stressful. It most likely won't get any easier from here on out either because this is the slowest time of the year. Many people say the job gets easier but I can deduce by talking with long-time employees privately that that's only a partial truth at best. I've noticed that at least 2/3 if not 3/4 of the people in my department are overweight or obese (or is this typical of any company!?) and I have to suspect it's because they turn to food as a coping mechanism.

Anyway, without alluding to the nature of the work itself for privacy reasons I can give you a more concrete examples that will hopefully let you can infer how stressful it is.

Yesterday my stress levels were so high it was palpable. I had so much pent up stress and I couldn't just get up leave, so and didn't know what to do with; I ended up cranking out 10 handstand pushups in a flash like it was nothing (normally can't do more than a few without getting dizzy). A near constant fight-or-flight mode (mostly fight) and couldn't calm down. Kept imagining myself getting in physical alteractions with imaginary people (I'm normally very peaceful).

Later that night, I ended up turning the thermostat to down to 58f in an attempt to shut my body down but I genuinely didn't even feel cold as I sat there watching a podcast for a few hours very late in the night while I was lounging in a loose t-shirt and shorts. I ended up having numerous "anxiety dreams" when I finally fell asleep, of which I only got 2 or 3 hours at most. Today I woke up with a lump in my throat and sinus inflammation.

I've noticed this happening every Friday , although it can happen on weekdays as well to a lesser extent as the week progresses. Then I spend all day Saturday feeling like **** and don't feel good again until Monday - which oddly enough has become the best day of the week for me. This exact same pattern happened at a previous job I had many years ago at a corporate call center at an insurance company. After 6 months I quit.

This job pays well w/ good benefits, has unparalled job security (we have a monopoly on the market), and is 100% remote. I thought I lucked out but the stress already feels like too much. I am thinking I should keep riding it out but at some point I have to ask myself, when is enough enough?

I've been taking high-dose magnesium, potent ashwagandha, kava, cutting down on coffee, exercising regularly, but it barely makes a difference. I used to meditate in the past but nowadays I can't seem to do it with any real effect.

I have started applying to new jobs - in the mean time, I am already considering quitting even before I have another job lined up.

Anyone else relate or have any general advice?

 

[Zimbabwe]

If you go home and you're still worried or thinking about something about work, then that's how you know it's too much.

Best thing for stress is to first create a disconnect between your social life and work life. Second is to do high intensity workouts, that releases a lot of positive hormones which help with stress.

And of course a healthy diet is also key.

 

[Machine10033]

When I was 32 I had the most stressful job I’ve ever had and two family members were passing away from terminal cancer. I could feel the stress suffocating me... It sucked the life out of me. I could barely muster energy to go thru the motions working out. Every stressful event in my life was amplified because I was already on the brink.... I started looking in the mirror and looked like garbage. I was constantly getting sick. B

it’s not worth it....I looked at a picture of myself from rate period and I looked 50. I am now 41...I have zero stress in my current position. Until you get something new take care of yourself the best you can. Sleep, hydrate, meditate, workout, limit alcohol and practice being mindful of your thoughts.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It's not worth it. Get out of that job before it literally kills you

 

[logicallefty]

I have two jobs, I am a police officer and I work in information security at a very large Fortune 50 company. I can work as a cop 10-11 hour shift in 90-95 degree weather, getting in and out of my squad 50 times, dealing with this disturbance or that. At the end of my shift I am tired, but still have mental and physical energy left. Still feel decent overall and can do something else. When I work my I.T. job, just 8 hours on an average day, I am completely spent. There is nothing left. All I want to do after work is sleep. Not long ago I transferred to a different department thinking that would help, and it did at first. But like you said OP, after about the 3 x month mark, I was back at completely being zapped at the end of the day. I am for sure going to be getting out of I.T. before I am 50, because if I do not, I prolly won't live past 52. No job is worth your health.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

If it keeps you up at night. That's my line that can't be crossed.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I have two jobs, I am a police officer and I work in information security at a very large Fortune 50 company. I can work as a cop 10-11 hour shift in 90-95 degree weather, getting in and out of my squad 50 times, dealing with this disturbance or that. At the end of my shift I am tired, but still have mental and physical energy left. Still feel decent overall and can do something else. When I work my I.T. job, just 8 hours on an average day, I am completely spent. There is nothing left. All I want to do after work is sleep. Not long ago I transferred to a different department thinking that would help, and it did at first. But like you said OP, after about the 3 x month mark, I was back at completely being zapped at the end of the day. I am for sure going to be getting out of I.T. before I am 50, because if I do not, I prolly won't live past 52. No job is worth your health.

Wow, how do you do both?

 

[logicallefty]

Wow, how do you do both?

The I.T. gig is 38 hours per week, the cop gig is typically 20-22. The I.T. gig is also flexible so I can re arrange my schedule if need be, so long as I get certain things I have committed to do done.

 

[B80]

I have two jobs, I am a police officer and I work in information security at a very large Fortune 50 company. I can work as a cop 10-11 hour shift in 90-95 degree weather, getting in and out of my squad 50 times, dealing with this disturbance or that. At the end of my shift I am tired, but still have mental and physical energy left. Still feel decent overall and can do something else. When I work my I.T. job, just 8 hours on an average day, I am completely spent. There is nothing left. All I want to do after work is sleep. Not long ago I transferred to a different department thinking that would help, and it did at first. But like you said OP, after about the 3 x month mark, I was back at completely being zapped at the end of the day. I am for sure going to be getting out of I.T. before I am 50, because if I do not, I prolly won't live past 52. No job is worth your health.

Fairplay mate. Interesting isn't it. I work in tech for large US investment bank. Every year they take on military vets. Was chatting to 1 last year who said he feels more stress/pressure in this company than he did serving on active duty in the forces. Although threat of death in military he said its a different kind of stress I'm the bank, feels less 'natural' amongst other things. Feels less 'alive'.

I've read similar before about people in forces transitioning into high pressure White collar jobs. Plus everyone's different and find some situations more difficult than others.

I also have online venture whic is effectively a 2nd full time job. the volatility and threat of big financial losses are much much higher with my online venture, but in the main I love it, right amount of pressure, stress which gives me energy/an edge. No doubt I'd feel overwhelmed with try to run a business in other fields and the effects would be negative.

I've worked in tech roles for smaller firms and felt like I've almost been drowning and negative feeling rimming through my veins and head constantly. So gave it another 6 months, then bailed out and found a role elsewhere. Few years later moved into the investment bank role. For first 2 years, worked through lunches, pretty much non stop engaged in work, not sitting there chatting, apart from trips to the gents. But felt totally energised at end of day. The work is pretty much spot on. Challenging, demanding metrics to measure performance, many hate it and move on (or get moved on) but for me it's best role/environment I've worked in as stretches me but feels within control. When you feel out of your depth with little hope that's when you need to evaluate over coming months. Why is it stressful, is it something that you can change or is it just a sh1tty environment or perhaps a role that doesn't align with you.

That'd be my advice, monitor how you feel. If constantly on your mind, negative pressure feeling almost constantly there, I'd look to move on. Stress is one of the biggest killers out there.

 

[RickTheToad]

I started a new job 3 months ago and the last month it has become quite stressful. It most likely won't get any easier from here on out either because this is the slowest time of the year. Many people say the job gets easier but I can deduce by talking with long-time employees privately that that's only a partial truth at best. I've noticed that at least 2/3 if not 3/4 of the people in my department are overweight or obese (or is this typical of any company!?) and I have to suspect it's because they turn to food as a coping mechanism.

Anyway, without alluding to the nature of the work itself for privacy reasons I can give you a more concrete examples that will hopefully let you can infer how stressful it is.

Yesterday my stress levels were so high it was palpable. I had so much pent up stress and I couldn't just get up leave, so and didn't know what to do with; I ended up cranking out 10 handstand pushups in a flash like it was nothing (normally can't do more than a few without getting dizzy). A near constant fight-or-flight mode (mostly fight) and couldn't calm down. Kept imagining myself getting in physical alteractions with imaginary people (I'm normally very peaceful).

Later that night, I ended up turning the thermostat to down to 58f in an attempt to shut my body down but I genuinely didn't even feel cold as I sat there watching a podcast for a few hours very late in the night while I was lounging in a loose t-shirt and shorts. I ended up having numerous "anxiety dreams" when I finally fell asleep, of which I only got 2 or 3 hours at most. Today I woke up with a lump in my throat and sinus inflammation.

I've noticed this happening every Friday , although it can happen on weekdays as well to a lesser extent as the week progresses. Then I spend all day Saturday feeling like **** and don't feel good again until Monday - which oddly enough has become the best day of the week for me. This exact same pattern happened at a previous job I had many years ago at a corporate call center at an insurance company. After 6 months I quit.

This job pays well w/ good benefits, has unparalled job security (we have a monopoly on the market), and is 100% remote. I thought I lucked out but the stress already feels like too much. I am thinking I should keep riding it out but at some point I have to ask myself, when is enough enough?

I've been taking high-dose magnesium, potent ashwagandha, kava, cutting down on coffee, exercising regularly, but it barely makes a difference. I used to meditate in the past but nowadays I can't seem to do it with any real effect.

I have started applying to new jobs - in the mean time, I am already considering quitting even before I have another job lined up.

Anyone else relate or have any general advice?

Are you depressed? Perhaps you should consider seeing a doctor for a look-over.

 

[B80]

I started a new job 3 months ago and the last month it has become quite stressful. It most likely won't get any easier from here on out either because this is the slowest time of the year. Many people say the job gets easier but I can deduce by talking with long-time employees privately that that's only a partial truth at best. I've noticed that at least 2/3 if not 3/4 of the people in my department are overweight or obese (or is this typical of any company!?) and I have to suspect it's because they turn to food as a coping mechanism.

Anyway, without alluding to the nature of the work itself for privacy reasons I can give you a more concrete examples that will hopefully let you can infer how stressful it is.

Yesterday my stress levels were so high it was palpable. I had so much pent up stress and I couldn't just get up leave, so and didn't know what to do with; I ended up cranking out 10 handstand pushups in a flash like it was nothing (normally can't do more than a few without getting dizzy). A near constant fight-or-flight mode (mostly fight) and couldn't calm down. Kept imagining myself getting in physical alteractions with imaginary people (I'm normally very peaceful).

Later that night, I ended up turning the thermostat to down to 58f in an attempt to shut my body down but I genuinely didn't even feel cold as I sat there watching a podcast for a few hours very late in the night while I was lounging in a loose t-shirt and shorts. I ended up having numerous "anxiety dreams" when I finally fell asleep, of which I only got 2 or 3 hours at most. Today I woke up with a lump in my throat and sinus inflammation.

I've noticed this happening every Friday , although it can happen on weekdays as well to a lesser extent as the week progresses. Then I spend all day Saturday feeling like **** and don't feel good again until Monday - which oddly enough has become the best day of the week for me. This exact same pattern happened at a previous job I had many years ago at a corporate call center at an insurance company. After 6 months I quit.

This job pays well w/ good benefits, has unparalled job security (we have a monopoly on the market), and is 100% remote. I thought I lucked out but the stress already feels like too much. I am thinking I should keep riding it out but at some point I have to ask myself, when is enough enough?

I've been taking high-dose magnesium, potent ashwagandha, kava, cutting down on coffee, exercising regularly, but it barely makes a difference. I used to meditate in the past but nowadays I can't seem to do it with any real effect.

I have started applying to new jobs - in the mean time, I am already considering quitting even before I have another job lined up.

Anyone else relate or have any general advice?

Weight thing and general condition of men in the mega Corp or most places I've worked isn't great. Vast majority overweight and/or balding or generally jaded/lack of energy. Usually referring to wife as the boss, or indicating something to that effect. Not sure what it is, corporate life sucking the marrow out of them, boring marriage and barely having sex or divorced having paid out loads in settlement, plus ongoing alimony/maintenance payments etc. Quite depressing, feel sorry for many as seems like they're just on a conveyor belt of general miserableness, monotony with seemingly little joy or things to look forward to. Not all obviously but a significant % ime.

 

[logicallefty]

Fairplay mate. Interesting isn't it. I work in tech for large US investment bank. Every year they take on military vets. Was chatting to 1 last year who said he feels more stress/pressure in this company than he did serving on active duty in the forces. Although threat of death in military he said its a different kind of stress I'm the bank, feels less 'natural' amongst other things. Feels less 'alive'.

I've read similar before about people in forces transitioning into high pressure White collar jobs. Plus everyone's different and find some situations more difficult than others.

I also have online venture whic is effectively a 2nd full time job. the volatility and threat of big financial losses are much much higher with my online venture, but in the main I love it, right amount of pressure, stress which gives me energy/an edge. No doubt I'd feel overwhelmed with try to run a business in other fields and the effects would be negative.

I've worked in tech roles for smaller firms and felt like I've almost been drowning and negative feeling rimming through my veins and head constantly. So gave it another 6 months, then bailed out and found a role elsewhere. Few years later moved into the investment bank role. For first 2 years, worked through lunches, pretty much non stop engaged in work, not sitting there chatting, apart from trips to the gents. But felt totally energised at end of day. The work is pretty much spot on. Challenging, demanding metrics to measure performance, many hate it and move on (or get moved on) but for me it's best role/environment I've worked in as stretches me but feels within control. When you feel out of your depth with little hope that's when you need to evaluate over coming months. Why is it stressful, is it something that you can change or is it just a sh1tty environment or perhaps a role that doesn't align with you.

That'd be my advice, monitor how you feel. If constantly on your mind, negative pressure feeling almost constantly there, I'd look to move on. Stress is one of the biggest killers out there.

Sounds like you understand my pain with I.T. It is the most beta simp infested career field there could be. Most women in I.T. can't keep up in the technical trenches. But rather than get rid of their azzes, they get promoted. I've seen this at multiple places I have worked. Then they take total control over these beta simp tech guys who have absolutely no self respect and live in constant fear. They will not say NO to anything out of fear of loosing their jobs, and the women in management know they are weak so they relentlessly keep shoving stuff at them and they just keep saying YES MA'AM, YES MA'AM! It's sick.. I have a reputation for being BRASH and the women managers are somewhat intimidated by me. I am nice to people at first but if they get demanding and rude I give it back to them 20x more. But even doing that, I'm still multitasking more crap in a day than any one person should have to, and at the end of the day I am 100% spent...

 

[B80]

Sounds like you understand my pain with I.T. It is the most beta simp infested career field there could be. Most women in I.T. can't keep up in the technical trenches. But rather than get rid of their azzes, they get promoted. I've seen this at multiple places I have worked. Then they take total control over these beta simp tech guys who have absolutely no self respect and live in constant fear. They will not say NO to anything out of fear of loosing their jobs, and the women in management know they are weak so they relentlessly keep shoving stuff at them and they just keep saying YES MA'AM, YES MA'AM! It's sick.. I have a reputation for being BRASH and the women managers are somewhat intimidated by me. I am nice to people at first but if they get demanding and rude I give it back to them 20x more. But even doing that, I'm still multitasking more crap in a day than any one person should have to, and at the end of the day I am 100% spent...

100% mate. Witnessed exactly what you're saying. Tech field still generally 80-90% men. High % of nice, but soft nerdy types. Seen pretty thick women avoid the chop and get promotion despite being generally clueless about tech and aggressive edge, but get on side with the right people.

I'm not bitter as I'm pretty confident in my tech/I terpersonal skills and do ok. But seen some very talented, nice guys lose their jobs and really struggle as a result whilst some women get kept on who are wide regarded as mediocre at best.

Think that bugs me Is way 2 of them are always acting nicey nicey 'teM players' in front of mgmt, but seem to wriggle out of tougher tasks. Call it out like do you mind doing that as I know you're good at it and I have to do xyz. Or, xxx can you take this one as I'm expecting urgent call from my Dr and then proceeds to disappear for ages.... which happened yesterday.

Font get me wrong, I've worked with some absolute clowns (men), but generally they get moved on sooner or later. Women seem to have a knack of 'playing the game'. Plus corps interested to some degree in 'levelling the field'.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Same kind of shjt is in blue collar factory jobs. Females will act like "team players", but when it comes time to scrape spilled glue off of a floor of a room that's 100 degrees, they're not the ones doing it. "Team players" when they get easy machines to operate, and don't get assigned to a machine that requires one to have to lift 500 fifty pound bags. Funny how all that works.

 

[B80]

Same kind of shjt is in blue collar factory jobs. Females will act like "team players", but when it comes time to scrape spilled glue off of a floor of a room that's 100 degrees, they're not the ones doing it. "Team players" when they get easy machines to operate, and don't get assigned to a machine that requires one to have to lift 500 fifty pound bags. Funny how all that works.

Defo mate. I wouldn't have such an issue with it, as from reading this site abd other things over the last few years, I think for many women it's inate/natural. Lean on men when out of comfort zone.

What I do have an issue with is when I see genuinely nice, talented guys walked into a room and come out after being told they've been 'put at risk'. Basically Corp equivalent to deadman walking. Which happens every year to varying degrees in mega corps.
.
For sake of balance, I've worked with a a number of genuinely nice/sweet women, some who were mediocre, a couple who were very competent. Nice to be around, feminine, well liked etc.

Very awkward when a woman says x can you do this as I have y to do. If you refuse in front of mgmt, you feel that 'team player' category thing coming up in your review.

 

[DonJuanjr]

@logicallefty What about female police?

 

[logicallefty]

@logicallefty What about female police?

I've worked with a lot more good female police officers than I have good female I.T. people. The female police officers seem to know their place. They are respectful to us male officers because they want us to get there to back them up of they ever need us. I back up any officer no matter if I like them or not, but there are some who won't back another officer up PERIOD if they don't like them. The female officers are also careful in how they engage potentially bad people on the street because they aren't stupid. They know that most of the people they engage with can take them out if the shyt hits the fan. . An exception was the best female officer I ever worked with. This tiny little blonde. She was the most ditzo little thing. Twiddled her hair, seemed immature. But she could take men to the ground 3 times her size, and get them in custody in what seemed like seconds. I loved working with her. She was also involved in a shooting a couple years go. Shot a guy on a traffic stop. He lived, and she didn't get charged, it was justified..

 

[DonJuanjr]

They are respectful to us male officers because they want us to get there to back them up of they ever need us.

I figured that'd be the case.

there are some who won't back another officer up PERIOD if they don't like them.

How do they get away with this? Say they're investigating something suspicious that doesn't require reporting to dispatch?

 

[logicallefty]

How do they get away with this? Say they're investigating something suspicious that doesn't require reporting to dispatch?

The dispatcher will call them on the radio and they will feed a line of BS, like say they are "having car trouble" or "I just got flagged down by someone here, I'm 10-6(busy)". Before we had GPS in the cars they would say "I'm too far away to respond to that location". Can't do that anymore, but they used to.

 

[Zimbabwe]

I have two jobs, I am a police officer and I work in information security at a very large Fortune 50 company. I can work as a cop 10-11 hour shift in 90-95 degree weather, getting in and out of my squad 50 times, dealing with this disturbance or that. At the end of my shift I am tired, but still have mental and physical energy left. Still feel decent overall and can do something else. When I work my I.T. job, just 8 hours on an average day, I am completely spent. There is nothing left. All I want to do after work is sleep. Not long ago I transferred to a different department thinking that would help, and it did at first. But like you said OP, after about the 3 x month mark, I was back at completely being zapped at the end of the day. I am for sure going to be getting out of I.T. before I am 50, because if I do not, I prolly won't live past 52. No job is worth your health.

A job either destroys your body or your soul.