How should a man properly drop a woman without appearing like a d!ck?

Lover_boy

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 24, 2021
Messages
103
Reaction score
43
Age
32
So I recently had to drop a girl I was hooking up with because I was honestly just getting tired of her, had zero interest in continuing hanging out with her or smashing and want to get with her friend instead.

Long story short, she invited me to come to her friends birthday party. They were going to hit the clubs, then yacht party the next day. She stays out of town from where I live, so visiting her and attending this required that I stayed over there. I rented an Airbnb and invited her to come over when I got to her town. We went out clubbing that night with her friends and came back to my place and had sex. The next day we went to a yacht party with her friends but at this point I was already focused on one of her friends and not so much her. Her friend had been grinding up on me at the club the night before and we almost kissed. (While my original chick was in the bathroom).

Since the chick that invited me here was staying with me, I had to kick her out if I want to explore my options. So last night I asked if she could go back to her house and sleep there because I wanted my space. I was being cold to her throughout the day, giving her very little attention, and zero affection. She complained about my behavior towards her and that got me even more turned off. When a woman complains to me as if she’s my gf is annoying af to me. We’re not a couple, we’re not even fwb, we’re really just two acquaintances that knew each other for some time, kept in touch and recently smashed.

So after I asked if she could go back home, she threw a fit, she called me a d!ck, an ******* and that I wasn’t in a position to kick her out since “we had planned to spend this time together” in her mind she thinks I came to be with her the entire time. At the end, she said she couldn’t go back home last night but she would leave in the am.

My question is, is there ever a more proper way to drop a woman in this kind of scenario ? Is there a really “drop them like a gentlemen” kind of way ? Could I have done things different ? She assumed that she was going to stay with me the entire time, now she’s going to tell her friends that I kicked her out and I’m going to look like a d!ck.

My thought is that, someone is always going to get hurt or have expectations that are not met when involving themselves in an intimate relationship. My intentions weren’t to hurt her but I definitely didn’t want to compromise my time here for her feelings.

As always Thank you for your input
 

Stuffnu

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 2, 2014
Messages
543
Reaction score
746
Age
41
Just “pull off the bandaid“
No long winded explanation or justification.
“Hey it was fun but this doesn’t work for me“. I’m moving in a different direction“
She‘s going to get upset regardless but I believe this is the cleanest and quickest method.
 

TheCharmingGuy

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 19, 2020
Messages
328
Reaction score
273
Age
27
Location
North Carolina, US
I think you handled it well. There are more polite ways that mean more work and pain for you but if you care enough they are also an option. It comes down to how much of a gentleman you are. Some men aren’t.
 

BadBoy89

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2020
Messages
1,786
Reaction score
2,129
She assumed that she was going to stay with me the entire time, now she’s going to tell her friends that I kicked her out and I’m going to look like a d!ck.
You don’t know that. She could tell her friends she is still madly madly in love with you and doesn’t ever want to let you go. You could look awesome,

My thought is that, someone is always going to get hurt or have expectations that are not met when involving themselves in an intimate relationship. My intentions weren’t to hurt her but I definitely didn’t want to compromise my time here for her feelings.
Come on bro, “expectations are not met?” You are rationalizing to make yourself feel better. But hey, every breakup I’ve had has been brutal so you may be right.
 

Kotaix

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 29, 2019
Messages
2,285
Reaction score
2,884
Age
46
If you could have done anything better then it might have been to just tell her straight up that you aren't that interested instead of waiting for her to get on your nerves.

Either way I don't expect you'll be hearing from her again, but this is for the best. Bad pairings should not be pursued.
 

Dr.Suave

Moderator
Joined
Mar 6, 2017
Messages
3,821
Reaction score
4,140
- "I have decided I never wanna marry or have kids (with you)"
 

StacksHitEmUp

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 30, 2015
Messages
379
Reaction score
488
Age
31
Just use the classic lines women use;

"It's not you, it's me"

"You're a wonderful, wonderful person. I just can't live up to it. I feel constant pressure to match your wonderfulness. I need some space"

Any iterations of those things - paint yourself as not good enough. Women never want to look like the "bad guy" when ending a relationship. So you could learn something from that.

After you've given her this, then fade out. She'll try to contact you from time to time, but she'll fade too. The Sexual Marketplace will ensure that she doesn't stay un-penis'd for long.
I like to go with the "I can't give you what you want right now".
 

Modern Man Advice

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 3, 2021
Messages
1,485
Reaction score
2,610
So I recently had to drop a girl I was hooking up with because I was honestly just getting tired of her, had zero interest in continuing hanging out with her or smashing and want to get with her friend instead.

Long story short, she invited me to come to her friends birthday party. They were going to hit the clubs, then yacht party the next day. She stays out of town from where I live, so visiting her and attending this required that I stayed over there. I rented an Airbnb and invited her to come over when I got to her town. We went out clubbing that night with her friends and came back to my place and had sex. The next day we went to a yacht party with her friends but at this point I was already focused on one of her friends and not so much her. Her friend had been grinding up on me at the club the night before and we almost kissed. (While my original chick was in the bathroom).

Since the chick that invited me here was staying with me, I had to kick her out if I want to explore my options. So last night I asked if she could go back to her house and sleep there because I wanted my space. I was being cold to her throughout the day, giving her very little attention, and zero affection. She complained about my behavior towards her and that got me even more turned off. When a woman complains to me as if she’s my gf is annoying af to me. We’re not a couple, we’re not even fwb, we’re really just two acquaintances that knew each other for some time, kept in touch and recently smashed.

So after I asked if she could go back home, she threw a fit, she called me a d!ck, an ******* and that I wasn’t in a position to kick her out since “we had planned to spend this time together” in her mind she thinks I came to be with her the entire time. At the end, she said she couldn’t go back home last night but she would leave in the am.

My question is, is there ever a more proper way to drop a woman in this kind of scenario ? Is there a really “drop them like a gentlemen” kind of way ? Could I have done things different ? She assumed that she was going to stay with me the entire time, now she’s going to tell her friends that I kicked her out and I’m going to look like a d!ck.

My thought is that, someone is always going to get hurt or have expectations that are not met when involving themselves in an intimate relationship. My intentions weren’t to hurt her but I definitely didn’t want to compromise my time here for her feelings.

As always Thank you for your input
As @Epimanes said, be honest and direct. Don't level down to most women's way to dump a guy with all the excuses, lies, or worse ghosting.

You are a man for a reason, your word, and actions matter. Honor matters.

You are simply not interested in seeing her, nor see any benefits to doing so. Your time is valuable and rather be intentional with it. Wish her the best and walk away.


Modern Man Advice
 

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
6,096
Reaction score
4,852
Age
34
So I recently had to drop a girl I was hooking up with because I was honestly just getting tired of her, had zero interest in continuing hanging out with her or smashing and want to get with her friend instead.

Long story short, she invited me to come to her friends birthday party. They were going to hit the clubs, then yacht party the next day. She stays out of town from where I live, so visiting her and attending this required that I stayed over there. I rented an Airbnb and invited her to come over when I got to her town. We went out clubbing that night with her friends and came back to my place and had sex. The next day we went to a yacht party with her friends but at this point I was already focused on one of her friends and not so much her. Her friend had been grinding up on me at the club the night before and we almost kissed. (While my original chick was in the bathroom).

Since the chick that invited me here was staying with me, I had to kick her out if I want to explore my options. So last night I asked if she could go back to her house and sleep there because I wanted my space. I was being cold to her throughout the day, giving her very little attention, and zero affection. She complained about my behavior towards her and that got me even more turned off. When a woman complains to me as if she’s my gf is annoying af to me. We’re not a couple, we’re not even fwb, we’re really just two acquaintances that knew each other for some time, kept in touch and recently smashed.

So after I asked if she could go back home, she threw a fit, she called me a d!ck, an ******* and that I wasn’t in a position to kick her out since “we had planned to spend this time together” in her mind she thinks I came to be with her the entire time. At the end, she said she couldn’t go back home last night but she would leave in the am.

My question is, is there ever a more proper way to drop a woman in this kind of scenario ? Is there a really “drop them like a gentlemen” kind of way ? Could I have done things different ? She assumed that she was going to stay with me the entire time, now she’s going to tell her friends that I kicked her out and I’m going to look like a d!ck.

My thought is that, someone is always going to get hurt or have expectations that are not met when involving themselves in an intimate relationship. My intentions weren’t to hurt her but I definitely didn’t want to compromise my time here for her feelings.

As always Thank you for your input
It's not me. It's you.



My favorite is to say that I'm not in that place in my life but I'll let you know when I get there. Plausible deniability to go on a bender.
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
2,176
Reaction score
3,841
First, you need to accept the fact that you were actually being a pr!ck. I'm not knocking you (done it myself, actually) but I'll admit it.

As Hamurabimbi mentioned, just turn those tables. Start acting like a guy instead of a man and she'll provide the break up for you.

You may tell us otherwise, buy my money is on the opposite. I'm betting that the girl that you wanted to make it with (now that you are available) will no longer find you as alluring.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
13,266
Reaction score
11,240
paint yourself as not good enough. Women never want to look like the "bad guy" when ending a relationship. So you could learn something from that.

After you've given her this, then fade out. She'll try to contact you from time to time, but she'll fade too. The Sexual Marketplace will ensure that she doesn't stay un-penis'd for long.
This is perfect. Women don't care when you drop them, especially if you met them through a swipe app. This is slightly less true of random approaching. It's easy for women to get a penis so if one penis goes away, it doesn't matter.
 

EyeBRollin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 18, 2015
Messages
10,696
Reaction score
8,638
Age
35
Try to actually not be a dvck.

You were being a dvck here. You can’t go to an event a girl you are banging invited you to than expect to be able to fvck her friends that you meet at said event.

I honestly don’t know what some of you guys expect.
 

Barrister

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 28, 2018
Messages
2,488
Reaction score
4,236
Age
38
You don't owe her anything. As you state, she isn't your LTR or even a plate for that matter. Just tell her you aren't feeling it and then go silent.

I will say this, however: you dropping her will make it almost impossible to get with the friend. She is going to try to make you public enemy number one in her social circle and unless the friend has VERY high interest she will likely stay away for that reason alone.
 

felaflex

New Member
Joined
Aug 28, 2021
Messages
7
Reaction score
2
Age
28
So I recently had to drop a girl I was hooking up with because I was honestly just getting tired of her, had zero interest in continuing hanging out with her or smashing and want to get with her friend instead.

Long story short, she invited me to come to her friends birthday party. They were going to hit the clubs, then yacht party the next day. She stays out of town from where I live, so visiting her and attending this required that I stayed over there. I rented an Airbnb and invited her to come over when I got to her town. We went out clubbing that night with her friends and came back to my place and had sex. The next day we went to a yacht party with her friends but at this point I was already focused on one of her friends and not so much her. Her friend had been grinding up on me at the club the night before and we almost kissed. (While my original chick was in the bathroom).

Since the chick that invited me here was staying with me, I had to kick her out if I want to explore my options. So last night I asked if she could go back to her house and sleep there because I wanted my space. I was being cold to her throughout the day, giving her very little attention, and zero affection. She complained about my behavior towards her and that got me even more turned off. When a woman complains to me as if she’s my gf is annoying af to me. We’re not a couple, we’re not even fwb, we’re really just two acquaintances that knew each other for some time, kept in touch and recently smashed.

So after I asked if she could go back home, she threw a fit, she called me a d!ck, an ******* and that I wasn’t in a position to kick her out since “we had planned to spend this time together” in her mind she thinks I came to be with her the entire time. At the end, she said she couldn’t go back home last night but she would leave in the am.

My question is, is there ever a more proper way to drop a woman in this kind of scenario ? Is there a really “drop them like a gentlemen” kind of way ? Could I have done things different ? She assumed that she was going to stay with me the entire time, now she’s going to tell her friends that I kicked her out and I’m going to look like a d!ck.

My thought is that, someone is always going to get hurt or have expectations that are not met when involving themselves in an intimate relationship. My intentions weren’t to hurt her but I definitely didn’t want to compromise my time here for her feelings.

As always Thank you for your input
Be a gentleman and be real with her; straight to the point
 

Lover_boy

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 24, 2021
Messages
103
Reaction score
43
Age
32
First, you need to accept the fact that you were actually being a pr!ck. I'm not knocking you (done it myself, actually) but I'll admit it.

As Hamurabimbi mentioned, just turn those tables. Start acting like a guy instead of a man and she'll provide the break up for you.

You may tell us otherwise, buy my money is on the opposite. I'm betting that the girl that you wanted to make it with (now that you are available) will no longer find you as alluring.
well After I dropped the original chick I texted the friend, which she willingly gave me her number when I asked for her ig. so I took that as an ioi. I texted her the following day asking what she was up to today, we texted back and forth but she never came through to chill. I left the following day and now she’s texting me with high interest and sending me photos.

Found out my Old chick got pissed at her friend for giving me her number, so in the end I guess I didn’t look so bad after all
 

Lover_boy

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 24, 2021
Messages
103
Reaction score
43
Age
32
Try to actually not be a dvck.

You were being a dvck here. You can’t go to an event a girl you are banging invited you to than expect to be able to fvck her friends that you meet at said event.

I honestly don’t know what some of you guys expect.
But see isn’t that what running game is all about? When girls see you with a girl, or a date, or your gf. Then they find you interesting and alluring. If I’m a single guy and I have Zero commitment with this chick, why is it so harsh or wrong to want to get with her friend who is throwing me ioi’s and looks better ?

The tricky part is to do it successfully and not damaging your image. Does anyone have any success stories on this ? Would love to hear how you pulled it off.
 

Ricky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 9, 2002
Messages
4,054
Reaction score
803
Age
50
I've often wondered if a guy could purposely become needy and clingy and scare them away like alot of simps and AFCS do. It'd be kind of cruel but an interesting social experiment.
 
Top