Dry spell. What am I doing wrong?

[Mr Force Kin]

These past 3 months I went on at least 40 first dates with girls from OLD and somehow I only heard back from 4 of those women. That's an extremely low success rate. I am currently only seeing two of them still. The other two ghosted me.

The two years prior to this I did the same thing and I had a success rate of at least half the girls, if not more. Girls often wanted to see me again and were more likely to respond to my advances on dates and texted me after. I had to take a few months off from women because I had to travel a lot due to family reasons and surgery.

Literally nothing has changed about my approach. The only things I can think of is that I gained about 15 lbs, I got a bit older and a few more grey hair, I had surgery on my back and one on my teeth that created a slight shift of my teeth, nothing major though. I actually think I look overall healthier than before.

But these are just slight physical things, I am still the same person and I always go for at least touching if not kissing on the dates. I am normally confident and I also feel that the dates go well from my perspective.

I just don't know what is going on with me or with the world these past months? I used to be flooded with texts and sex. Getting first dates is still very easy for me on OLD. I usually have a date every two or three days, but then I don't hear back anymore like I used to.

I won't give up though. I have a date this afternoon, another tonight and another tomorrow night. I just need my success back!

Can anyone relate, gone through similar dry spells? What was your reasoning for this?

 

[Plinco]

Those sites keep changing the algorithms, that might be part of the problem. The other factor is your health problems might be lowering your T-levels.

 

[zinc4]

These past 3 months I went on at least 40 first dates with girls from OLD and somehow I only heard back from 4 of those women. That's an extremely low success rate. I am currently only seeing two of them still. The other two ghosted me.

The two years prior to this I did the same thing and I had a success rate of at least half the girls, if not more. Girls often wanted to see me again and were more likely to respond to my advances on dates and texted me after. I had to take a few months off from women because I had to travel a lot due to family reasons and surgery.

Literally nothing has changed about my approach. The only things I can think of is that I gained about 15 lbs, I got a bit older and a few more grey hair, I had surgery on my back and one on my teeth that created a slight shift of my teeth, nothing major though. I actually think I look overall healthier than before.

But these are just slight physical things, I am still the same person and I always go for at least touching if not kissing on the dates. I am normally confident and I also feel that the dates go well from my perspective.

I just don't know what is going on with me or with the world these past months? I used to be flooded with texts and sex. Getting first dates is still very easy for me on OLD. I usually have a date every two or three days, but then I don't hear back anymore like I used to.

I won't give up though. I have a date this afternoon, another tonight and another tomorrow night. I just need my success back!

Can anyone relate, gone through similar dry spells? What was your reasoning for this?

It is probably the weight gain man. 15 pounds can make your face look much different and it is sometimes hard to see from your own perspective.

But if arent hearing back from any then i would start just closing them for sex on the first date as much as possible if you can.

 

[Bingo-Player]

at least 40 first dates with girls from OLD and somehow I only heard back from 4 of those women.

This is your problem

OLD is a problem for men not a solution

the only solution it provides is for needy women to get an abundance of free attention that she doesn't need to work or even try for

It's also a black book rolodex for booty calls BUT only for her not for you

For men it doesnt offer anything ..... most women aren't gonna give you any credit for whatever message you come up with , you are competing with hundreds of other thirsty men and of course she is already getting fvcked offline

the dynamic is absolutely fvcked

get off it and get out in the real world , she will give you more room to work with plus if you know what you are doing she will fvck you

 

[Zimbabwe]

Why are you still using OLD? Just go out and approach women.

 

[Mr Force Kin]

I have approached women the other way as well, but it was never as successful. But I will do my best to keep approaching more in my every day life. I think I just need to do it more. Maybe I will be more successful if I keep tweaking my approach.

I guess the reason why I am using OLD is because it was a gold mine for a while. I used to get girls there left and right from Tinder and it got me sex with at least 60 girls if not more over the prior 2.5 years and easily over 100 dates. I have collected over 1,200 matches on Tinder. I don't want to lose all these opportunities and the time I put into collecting them, especially since it was so successful in the past. Getting dates is still easy, getting them to sleep with me used to be, but isn't anymore. That's why I am confused.

Let's see how my dates go today and tomorrow. I appreciate your feedback and will do the cold approach more again as well.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It is probably the weight gain man. 15 pounds can make your face look much different and it is sometimes hard to see from your own perspective.

But if arent hearing back from any then i would start just closing them for sex on the first date as much as possible if you can.

Honestly, there are times I was up to 35 lbs heavier than other times and it made little difference. I might have some tough patches but overall got plenty of lays and long term plates from it and a few girlfriends when they deserved that.

 

[Mr Force Kin]

I mean I do lift frequently, so a 15 lb gain isn't too bad. My face is a little chubbier though, but I prefer it this way personally.

Another reason why I think I might be a bit off, besides my surgeries, is that my aunt and two cousins passed away in a car accident last year and I had to deal with all their things and stuff (not trying to be negative or anything, and I don't bring this up on dates) and this really threw me for a loop, since I had to quit my job and travel to another country. Which was why I stopped dating for almost a year.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

When in doubt employ a "slump buster", hit it several times.

 

[sangheilios]

I've been out of the game for a while but I can provide some input that may help.

From 2017 through 2019 I was having nothing but poor dating experiences that ultimately led to nothing for me. I was getting numbers that led to getting no texting back at all. I was getting women act very interested in me, I'm talking approaching me and agreeing to dates or even asking me out, and then they would just flake on a date and ghost me. I was getting first dates that led to nothing beyond that. I also decided to lower my standards and also go for women I felt no attraction towards and experienced a lot of attitude, rejection, etc. I can't recall a specific moment that triggered this but I gave it a break the latter part of 2019, then COVID hits in early 2020 and I haven't gone back.

I'm going to assume you still look relatively the same, I mean if you stopped grooming yourself or always wore tattered clothes or got really out of shape that is an easy fix. It's possible that given enough rejections a man begins to behave in a manner that displays a lack of confidence. Even if you aren't consciously aware of this, it's very possible to be portraying that you are essentially expecting a woman to reject you. It also could even just be poor timing or perhaps just a string of bad luck, which is something that many on here fail to recognize. Perhaps she is speaking with multiple men or maybe just got out or a relationship or still in touch with a former bf? Maybe her dog died? Maybe she got a new job? Maybe you remind her of a guy that cheated on her? The possibilities are endless and there is no sense in devoting much time or energy into deciphering this.

Now, with online dating and apps, such as tinder, those generally have very low success rates to begin with so I wouldn't take that too seriously, especially as you start getting older.

 

[Black Widow Void]

When it comes to on line... I would imagine that women are more discriminate than men. Back when I used the personals, I'd get turned off if the woman didn't look like her photos. Even is she still looked decent, I considered it as deceit. She immediately went from a potential future date to a spur of the moment lay.

You mentioned that your appearance has changed a little. If your photos aren't updated to reflect this change, this could be your problem.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I'm a pro at OLD and I prefer it over cold approaching. It has it's pros and cons, but there are ways around it. However, 40 dates on OLD in a span of 3 months is EXTREMELY high, so your low retention rate either means you are cat fishing the **** out of these women with your pictures, you have the attitude of Forest Gump, or you are straight lying about something. You are telling me that you landed 3 fresh dates per week from OLD? If you are able to get 40 dates in 3 months then you need to fvcking start a youtube channel or something because that's ridiculous. Did you look like Chris Hemsworth two years ago and now you look like Kevin James using 2 year old pictures? Please enlighten us OP.

 

[evan12]

These past 3 months I went on at least 40 first dates with girls from OLD and somehow I only heard back from 4 of those women.

That fact that you went to 40 dates from OLD , it mean you are physically very acceptable to women , unless you are using old photos to look better. If that is not the case most likely your personality have been changed , less happy or less confidant etc.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

That fact that you went to 40 dates from OLD , it mean you are physically very acceptable to women , unless you are using old photos to look better. If that is not the case most likely your personality have been changed , less happy or less confidant etc.

My personality is as attractive as dog shvt to women and I can still get 2 out of 10 second bats on OLD. OP is obviously lying or cat fishing.

 

[Mr Force Kin]

I guess my photos are a mix of recent ones and a few older ones. My oldest one is from 3 years ago. I am not lying about the numbers and I don't feel like I am catfishing anyone. Of course I try my best to show myself from the best angles and in the coolest situations, but almost every girl does that too. Definitely don't look like Chris Hemsworth, but I had some girls tell me I look like a young Richard Gere, but I don't think so at all.

40 dates in 3 months isn't that much. I just counted and the number is actually 37, and it was a little over 3 months since I came back October 1st and started a couple of weeks or so after. I could go on more dates if I wrote every girl I match with. I went on 4 dates this week alone. Actually 1 of them got back to me today. I left her my number after the date on Tinder. The other one ghosted me despite telling me to stay in touch after the date. Today one of the two dates I had planned flaked out on me, the other one seemed to go well but no kissing, just a little touching, and we texted a bit after. I have another date scheduled tomorrow.

I don't think it is my looks because in the beginning they seem to be still excited about talking to me, but towards the end I can already sense that this isn't going anywhere. I can usually feel that my thoughts are drifting away during the conversation and I get tired because I have heard the same stories so many times, but I try to keep it exciting whenever possible.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I guess my photos are a mix of recent ones and a few older ones. My oldest one is from 3 years ago. I am not lying about the numbers and I don't feel like I am catfishing anyone. Of course I try my best to show myself from the best angles and in the coolest situations, but almost every girl does that too. Definitely don't look like Chris Hemsworth, but I had some girls tell me I look like a young Richard Gere, but I don't think so at all.


40 dates in 3 months isn't that much. I just counted and the number is actually 37, and it was a little over 3 months since I came back October 1st and started a couple of weeks or so after. I could go on more dates if I wrote every girl I match with. I went on 4 dates this week alone. Actually 1 of them got back to me today. I left her my number after the date on Tinder. The other one ghosted me despite telling me to stay in touch after the date. Today one of the two dates I had planned flaked out on me, the other one seemed to go well but no kissing, just a little touching, and we texted a bit after. I have another date scheduled tomorrow.


I don't think it is my looks because in the beginning they seem to be still excited about talking to me, but towards the end I can already sense that this isn't going anywhere. I can usually feel that my thoughts are drifting away during the conversation and I get tired because I have heard the same stories so many times, but I try to keep it exciting whenever possible.

1) So you are cat fishing women on the apps. You told me you have gained 15 lbs and you are using 3 year old pics. Furthermore, based on me having to call you out on your discrepancies, I can safely assume there was more weight gain and possibly older pics. Quit catfishing, if you have time to go on 4 dates a week you have plenty of time to hit the gym and better yourself. I'd go on 2 dates MAX a week from now on.

2) I don't use Tinder, but on Hinge I can get two fresh dates a week if I wanted to. I also use the free version so my swipes are limited. OLD girls are a different breed, I'll touch on this in my last point.

3) I know exactly how you feel, it's really easy for me to get dates, but second dates are extremely rare on OLD. And the I've same stories over over and over again part lmao. LET ME GUESS, so many world travel stories OMG. OLD girls are mostly damaged goods and think about it as Thrift shopping at Ross/TJ Max and not going to Nordstrom or something lol. OLD girls are on the app either looking for a carbon copy of their ex or some ideal Disney prince performer that will look good in front of her friends. You need to learn to filter out these women before you waste your time and money on taking them out on dates. Also, lower your standards until you fix your cat fishing problem.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Women are sensing you are on a dry spell and are avoiding you. If you had a hot girlfriend, some of these girls will probably be hitting on you.

I remember a few months ago, my ex left me. I was talking to a female co worker (she recently married). Im 35 and the female co worker is like 28. I was like, Yo, introduce me to your single girl friends. She was like, yeah yeah, but not now, because you just out of a relatioship, bla bla bla. Bunch of excuses.

Fast forward a few months, I have a new gf, younger and better than the last one. Guess what? Female co worker reaches out, she wants to introduce me to one of her single girl friends.

Keep going on dates but stop focusing on the girls. Focus on doing stuff you actually enjoy on tha date. You have a favorite restaurant you are craving? Cool, have a date there. You like going to the movie theather to enjoy the latest blockbuster? Great, have a date there. You feel like focking going the local amusement park? Fock it, bring a girl.

You will start coming off as outcome indifferent instead of thirsty. Some girls will sense this and they wont ghost you.

 

[Mike32ct]

Fast forward a few months, I have a new gf, younger and better than the last one. Guess what? Female co worker reaches out, she wants to introduce me to one of her single girl friends.

Just curious... Did your female coworker see what your new gf looks like either in person or a picture? Or she just heard that you were dating somebody, and then she suddenly wants to introduce you?

 

[Dr.Suave]

Just curious... Did your female coworker see what your new gf looks like either in person or a picture? Or she just heard that you were dating somebody, and then she suddenly wants to introduce you?

As far as I know, she never saw my new gf, she wasn´t even aware I had a new gf. My take is we were just talking and she somehow "sensed" I been having a bunch of mind blowing sex recently.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

OP you need to bust your slump (see an escort if you have to). And afterwards, start screening harder for sexual availability and sexual interest. You prob need to take a short break too.

Also, in my observation the combination of omricon and cuffing season has made women especially skittish the last couple of months.