Common Situation I Screw Up 2: Girl Just Broke Up with her Boyfriend

[nicksaiz65]

This is somewhat similar to the first thread I made about this. But, I think it’s different enough that it deserves its own thread.

I’ve been in this situation and fvcked it up literally countless times. I’m ready to procure a strategy so that screw ups like this never happen again.

So here’s how it always goes. Girl is in my social circle. Super hot. But she has a boyfriend, like most women do. Because of that, I’m not able to show that strong intent off the bat.

But because most relationships are finite, she eventually breaks up with said boyfriend. She’s on the market, and I want to Bang.

Where do I go from here? How do I smoothly show intent and get from where I was to getting the Bang? I guess I just don’t know how to make it happen when I hadn’t showed intent before. Idk how I feel about doing that while she’s in the relationship unless she’s giving me strong choosing signals.

The last time I tried this with a girl, I failed epically. She had a cute pic on Snapchat and I slid up and said “Damn you look sexy af.” (Breaking my own texting for logistics rule, I know.) It was a FAIL, and I ended up left on read.

I don’t plan on screwing up this situation ever again! It’s too common.

So, I’d love to hear what you all think. What are your strategies to handle this situation and get the lay?

 

[SW15]

So, I’d love to hear what you all think. What are your strategies to handle this situation and get the lay?

Go for the bang in that moment. Always show sexual intent when there is sexual intent.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Just that you should always be sexual. There are ways of doing it without crossing lines.

Some examples?

 

[RangerMIke]

First.... she probably already knows you want her, women are not stupid and clueless, they always know when you want them, you are not fooling anyone.

Second.... nothing happens unless the chick is interested in you. You are operating under the invalid assumption that something you do will give you results with a woman you want. It doesn't work like that.

If you are in some kind of social circle with chicks, and one of them is about the break up with one of their dudes, they will let you know if they are about to hit the market again. Most women will line up their next dude before they cut the relationship dude loose. So in your case... if this came out of nowhere, in other words, you are 'surprised' by this break-up, then there is a very good chance that she isn't interested in you. If she considered you a potential replacement you would have been getting hints that the dude she was dating was about to run out of time on the ride.

 

[fastlife]

Why were you not showing intent earlier, when she had a boyfriend?

I ask this not to say you should be a creep or disrespectful. Just that you should always be sexual. There are ways of doing it without crossing lines.

By not showing sexual interest, you set yourself up as being more "friendly." Then when she hits the market, when you make a pass (like your DM) it seems incongruent to her. (The DM itself could have been smoother.)

I treat all women (that I like) the same: As potential lays. You probably do this with single girls and girls you meet outside your social circle. The key is to be consistently a man she'd fukk.

This. Flirt with every girl. Not even intentful, necessarily, but just as 1.) expressing yourself as a man and 2.) relating to girls the way they want to be related to. Also, talk about sex lol. Seriously. Like you can talk about sex topically 100% platonically. It's more interesting than 99% of conversational topics and it puts you into secret society frames so that when she does break up with her bf, you've already conveyed that you're sexual and non-needy.

Also eye contact and kino are 2 things you should be doing with everybody all the time. It's just how humans relate in social settings. (Only time I tone it down is with my buddy's girlfriends/wives--but even then I'll emotionally spike things to keep them in good spirits as necessary.)

As far as where you are now, trying to go 100% pedal to the medal isn't the play. It's incongruent and makes it look like you've been faking your whole friendship. Just wait until you have them in person and then treat them like you would a girl at a bar.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Next time just ask her out intead of sending that dm

 

[nicksaiz65]

Why were you not showing intent earlier, when she had a boyfriend?

I ask this not to say you should be a creep or disrespectful. Just that you should always be sexual. There are ways of doing it without crossing lines.

By not showing sexual interest, you set yourself up as being more "friendly." Then when she hits the market, when you make a pass (like your DM) it seems incongruent to her. (The DM itself could have been smoother.)

I treat all women (that I like) the same: As potential lays. You probably do this with single girls and girls you meet outside your social circle. The key is to be consistently a man she'd fukk.

That makes a ton of sense and that’s a great way to think about it. So basically just having the vibe of a sex-worthy man at all times.

 

[nicksaiz65]

This. Flirt with every girl. Not even intentful, necessarily, but just as 1.) expressing yourself as a man and 2.) relating to girls the way they want to be related to. Also, talk about sex lol. Seriously. Like you can talk about sex topically 100% platonically. It's more interesting than 99% of conversational topics and it puts you into secret society frames so that when she does break up with her bf, you've already conveyed that you're sexual and non-needy.

Also eye contact and kino are 2 things you should be doing with everybody all the time. It's just how humans relate in social settings. (Only time I tone it down is with my buddy's girlfriends/wives--but even then I'll emotionally spike things to keep them in good spirits as necessary.)

As far as where you are now, trying to go 100% pedal to the medal isn't the play. It's incongruent and makes it look like you've been faking your whole friendship. Just wait until you have them in person and then treat them like you would a girl at a bar.

Yeah, so like it’s been mentioned before, it’s kind of like a sliding scale right? Not thinking of intent as just “on” or “off.”

Honestly I could stand to talk about sex more in my sets. I will field test that and let you know how it goes lol.

That’s what I was thinking as well. Once we’re in person, I can always just move it on from there. The usual, like I’d do any bar lay. Date, strong eye contact, kino, flirting, escalation, etc etc.

That is very helpful. Thanks!

 

[DonJuanjr]

Conversing/joking about your own dating/sex life.

What about those that have low notch counts or limited experience?

 

[firstbornunicorn]

How do you know she has a boyfriend?

 

[fastlife]

Yeah, so like it’s been mentioned before, it’s kind of like a sliding scale right? Not thinking of intent as just “on” or “off.”

Honestly I could stand to talk about sex more in my sets. I will field test that and let you know how it goes lol.

That’s what I was thinking as well. Once we’re in person, I can always just move it on from there. The usual, like I’d do any bar lay. Date, strong eye contact, kino, flirting, escalation, etc etc.

That is very helpful. Thanks!

Exactly. More of a sliding scale--you're a sexual man by default BUT you're not necessarily interested in fvcking a girl just because you're talking to her. Make sense? And as far as talking about sex in set, definitely beneficial--just make sure you're being calibrated about it. For instance, talking about sex topically is more effective then trying to do it directly (until she's already attracted).
'
But stuff I use along those lines are: "I feel like girls enjoy sex wayyy more than guys do" (always sparks a huge debate lol) and then just use that as a springboard to describe how girls have acted during sex/chased me after as a sexual DHV that doesn't come across as bragging because it's supporting an argument. Or "I'm a virgin" (easy to springboard from that to talking about sex). Or just sweeping generalizations. "I feel like most girls blah blah blah"/"I feel like most guys blah blah blah." So like, "I feel bad for girls. Most guys have no idea what they're doing and get all clingy and needy." Stuff like that.