Fickle Women

[Vikinguitar]

I've noticed more and more how so many women I talk to are fickle, flakey and duplicitous. If it wasn't for authors like Rollo Tomassi and the plethora of material on female behavior I probably wouldn't be able to understand or articulate it as well as I do now, even though it baffles me every time I see it.

My most recent encounter with this fickle behavior was New Years Weekend. I matched with a girl from bumble, it was new years eve and we were messaging back and forth. When out of the blue she messaged me something along the lines of "It may be drunk confidence, but I'm looking for a hookup with a cute guy." I'm a personal trainer, pretty fit and half good looking g dude. She was a pretty, blue eyed redhead that looked good in yoga pants, so my obvious answer was some ****y funny line that agreed she should come over and let me make her new years wish come true. From that point everything was on like Donkey Kong with flirting and go back and forth. The next evening we were planning to meet up and talking about her coming to my place, I said I would pay for her uber and everything. She said it was up to me, as if I wasn't 100% ready to get her a ride out. I again assured her yes, I'll send for an uber, and asked her what her address was. From that point, silence. My thumb was on the order the uber button and I sat there like a jack ass my whole night left wide open due to a last minute flake. I ended up gaming with some friends and tried to forget. The next day 24hrs have passed and I heard nothing. So I sent a message calling her out. (big mistake) I messaged her saying something like, "Hey, I don't appreciate being ghosted last minute like that after making plans all day. I value my time and don't appreciate being flaked on without any explanation. Not cool." I haven't heard anything for days and it looked like she hasn't even read my message. So I went to go on her profile and just unfollow her cause I don't want to be following someone that's not worth my time. Her profile wouldn't show up. I could see our messages, but her profile wasn't available for my main account. This ***** ****ing blocked me... I call her out on her **** in a simple matter of a fact way, not getting angry or swearing simply asking to have my time respected and she blocks me.

After this encounter I'm left sitting here kinda pissed with many questions. Like you waisted my time and block me for calling you on your ****. It seems crazy to me that if a woman doesn't like reality she can just turn a blind eye and pretend it doesn't exist. So here I am writing this post, I'm hoping for some insight from other men that have found success with women. Have yall encountered similar behavior? What did you do? Do you bother calling women on their ****? How do you handle a flakey woman that wastes your time?

Appreciate it, much love and testosterone.
- Viking

 

[Zimbabwe]

Have a Backup Plan – Women are highly emotional and tend to live in the moment. For this, I usually have other potential dates lined up in the early stages of a relationship – especially if the relationship is yet to be committal. If a woman flakes on me, I simply call up another girl. Sometimes, I have another date lined up a few hours apart. Never put your eggs in one basket.

 

[DonBud94]

Your wasting time just by having a bumble my guy. That's just my opinion.

 

[Stuffnu]

I said I would pay for her uber and everything

This comes across as thirsty and desperate. You chased her away.
In her eyes, lashing out only reconfirms your neediness.
Don’t do this again.

If she can’t come to you logistically, on her own dime or any other BS excuse they throw at you, always withdraw the offer. “No worries, another tIme”. This is the most effective power play period. A girl who has high interest will try to reschedule or accommodate. Those that don’t, no longer has your attention.

We all get flaked on or ghosted. No need to analyze, be a man and move on.
You’re unfazed with too many options to worry about childish behavior.

 

[Vikinguitar]

Your wasting time just by having a bumble my guy. That's just my opinion.

Is it just bumble or dating apps in general in your opinion? Cause I live in Canada where the lockdowns are crazy atm, so some form of online dating to keep a rotation of plates feels almost necessary.

 

[Don Dark Horse]

Is it just bumble or dating apps in general in your opinion? Cause I live in Canada where the lockdowns are crazy atm, so some form of online dating to keep a rotation of plates feels almost necessary.

I would say it is OLD in general. Although you can get some success, you will encounter tons of what you went through. Developing your text game is crucial if you going to find any success with OLD. I still am learning.

 

[Vikinguitar]

This comes across as thirsty and desperate. You chased her away.
In her eyes, lashing out only reconfirms your neediness.
Don’t do this again.

If she can’t come to you logistically, on her own dime or any other BS excuse they throw at you, always withdraw the offer. “No worries, another tIme”. This is the most effective power play period. A girl who has high interest will try to reschedule or accommodate. Those that don’t, no longer has your attention.

We all get flaked on or ghosted. No need to analyze, be a man and move on.
You’re unfazed with too many options to worry about childish behavior.

I accept its totally on me for ruining the interaction. I figured I was setting a boundary by telling her my expectations and setting a precedence for respect would demonstrate high value by telling her the behavior I expect. Would you ever set a boundary in this sense or just take the medium as the message and next her?

 

[Don Dark Horse]

I accept its totally on me for ruining the interaction. I figured I was setting a boundary by telling her my expectations and setting a precedence for respect would demonstrate high value by telling her the behavior I expect. Would you ever set a boundary in this sense or just take the medium as the message and next her?

You don't know her and have never met her. The first thing she does is flake on you after you offered to uber her to you. Next.

 

[Vikinguitar]

I would say it is OLD in general. Although you can get some success, you will encounter tons of what you went through. Developing your text game is crucial if you going to find any success with OLD. I still am learning.

Yea flakyness seems to be common with OLD. My text game definitely is a struggle. Try to keep it a balance of concise and engaging but not wasting too much time before getting out on a date. I don't want to be a pen pal. I find I'm much better in person, lots gets lost in translation in text. Anything yall recommend for improving text game?

 

[Don Dark Horse]

Yea flakyness seems to be common with OLD. My text game definitely is a struggle. Try to keep it a balance of concise and engaging but not wasting too much time before getting out on a date. I don't want to be a pen pal. I find I'm much better in person, lots gets lost in translation in text. Anything yall recommend for improving text game?

My recommendation is don't spend much time being chatty. Go in for the date. Don't make it look needy, be confident and direct. You will quickly know where you stand with girls. The last time I was on OLD, I would get a match and send my phone number. not even a hey. The girls that would text me I would then ask out for drinks/coffee, although they all flaked. Bottom line, I did not waste time trying. Spent 1 week doing this then deleted the app. Was a pointless exercise lol.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

My recommendation is don't spend much time being chatty. Go in for the date. Don't make it look needy, be confident and direct. You will quickly know where you stand with girls. The last time I was on OLD, I would get a match and send my phone number. not even a hey. The girls that would text me I would then ask out for drinks/coffee, although they all flaked. Bottom line, I did not waste time trying. Spent 1 week doing this then deleted the app. Was a pointless exercise lol.

I avoid too much fluff talk as well. I will also avoid "going in for the date" however. I'll flirt with a slight edge and if she's receptive then I'll go in for the date. And I'll flirt more before the date and sext if she's feeling it. I don't go on a boatload of dates, but don't have much issue with flaking either. And rarely will I get the "one date, no sex, no 2nd date" scenario - most of my game revolves around avoiding those kind of situations, unless the female is near the top of my range.

 

[AttackFormation]

Few women use OLD (the userbase is vast majority male), and those few who are on it tend to be a concentration of the worst personalities. Environments based on choice overload and lack of consequence bring out both the worst in people and the worst people, OLD is the epitome of that. The fact that you expected a woman from OLD to have basic respect for you or your investment in her makes me think you are brand new to OLD. Take it from me mate, get off OLD and dont look back, using it is one of the biggest wastes of time youll ever do in your life. I am ashamed of how much time i have spent trying to date and thinking about dating dynamics, when i could have been doing things that are constructive for my life instead.

 

[lost_blackbird]

Your wasting time just by having a bumble my guy. That's just my opinion.

Yeah, they banned me. For some simple honesty it would seem, although they called it "Hate speech".

 

[Don Dark Horse]

I avoid too much fluff talk as well. I will also avoid "going in for the date" however. I'll flirt with a slight edge and if she's receptive then I'll go in for the date. And I'll flirt more before the date and sext if she's feeling it. I don't go on a boatload of dates, but don't have much issue with flaking either. And rarely will I get the "one date, no sex, no 2nd date" scenario - most of my game revolves around avoiding those kind of situations, unless the female is near the top of my range.

I think you just cleared up the reason why I am getting so much flaking. And very eloquently too. See my holiday game report, I get flaked on by girls that I have already made out with.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

@vikingguitar sending for an Uber to have you come to your place was a bit too much, she prob felt too much pressure/expectation at this point, especially since she seems like the "not the kind of girl who does this kind of thing often". If you'd dialed back the anticipation, it prob would've still been on. I would have Ubered her to a bar close to yours and bounce back to yours after. Also it was NYE too, so she was unusually carefree that night. The next day, reality starts to creep in.

If she pays for the Uber herself or if you have her come someplace other than your place, it would have been different.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I've noticed more and more how so many women I talk to are fickle, flakey and duplicitous. If it wasn't for authors like Rollo Tomassi and the plethora of material on female behavior I probably wouldn't be able to understand or articulate it as well as I do now, even though it baffles me every time I see it.

My most recent encounter with this fickle behavior was New Years Weekend. I matched with a girl from bumble, it was new years eve and we were messaging back and forth. When out of the blue she messaged me something along the lines of "It may be drunk confidence, but I'm looking for a hookup with a cute guy." I'm a personal trainer, pretty fit and half good looking g dude. She was a pretty, blue eyed redhead that looked good in yoga pants, so my obvious answer was some ****y funny line that agreed she should come over and let me make her new years wish come true. From that point everything was on like Donkey Kong with flirting and go back and forth. The next evening we were planning to meet up and talking about her coming to my place, I said I would pay for her uber and everything. She said it was up to me, as if I wasn't 100% ready to get her a ride out. I again assured her yes, I'll send for an uber, and asked her what her address was. From that point, silence. My thumb was on the order the uber button and I sat there like a jack ass my whole night left wide open due to a last minute flake. I ended up gaming with some friends and tried to forget. The next day 24hrs have passed and I heard nothing. So I sent a message calling her out. (big mistake) I messaged her saying something like, "Hey, I don't appreciate being ghosted last minute like that after making plans all day. I value my time and don't appreciate being flaked on without any explanation. Not cool." I haven't heard anything for days and it looked like she hasn't even read my message. So I went to go on her profile and just unfollow her cause I don't want to be following someone that's not worth my time. Her profile wouldn't show up. I could see our messages, but her profile wasn't available for my main account. This ***** ****ing blocked me... I call her out on her **** in a simple matter of a fact way, not getting angry or swearing simply asking to have my time respected and she blocks me.

After this encounter I'm left sitting here kinda pissed with many questions. Like you waisted my time and block me for calling you on your ****. It seems crazy to me that if a woman doesn't like reality she can just turn a blind eye and pretend it doesn't exist. So here I am writing this post, I'm hoping for some insight from other men that have found success with women. Have yall encountered similar behavior? What did you do? Do you bother calling women on their ****? How do you handle a flakey woman that wastes your time?

Appreciate it, much love and testosterone.
- Viking

VAAAARGH!!! Burzum.

 

[Vikinguitar]

@vikingguitar sending for an Uber to have you come to your place was a bit too much, she prob felt too much pressure/expectation at this point, especially since she seems like the "not the kind of girl who does this kind of thing often". If you'd dialed back the anticipation, it prob would've still been on. I would have Ubered her to a bar close to yours and bounce back to yours after. Also it was NYE too, so she was unusually carefree that night. The next day, reality starts to creep in.

If she pays for the Uber herself or if you have her come someplace other than your place, it would have been different.

When we were messaging on NYE she was implying that she wanted to come straight to my place and just knock boots. When we figured out how far away she was from me I suggested Uber and she was saying it was up to me but I didn't have to. I said it was fine trying to imply money was no issue. But yea in hindsight I probably seemed too eager. I just don't get the whole blocking someone off your insta because yall didn't vibe. It's not like I cussed her out lol

 

[Tilex]

New Year's Eve is not synonymous with first dates or someone you just met online in my opinion.

There's a large amount of pressure to get things done or go places before midnight.
Sending an uber to pick her up and drive back to your place probably made her head explode.

Why didn't you just drive to her place?

 

[RobbyDog]

When we were messaging on NYE she was implying that she wanted to come straight to my place and just knock boots. When we figured out how far away she was from me I suggested Uber and she was saying it was up to me but I didn't have to. I said it was fine trying to imply money was no issue. But yea in hindsight I probably seemed too eager. I just don't get the whole blocking someone off your insta because yall didn't vibe. It's not like I cussed her out lol

Dude, I’ve encountered a TON of this BS female behaviour lately on OLD. It’s like the pandemic has made it worse. I concur with a lot of the comments above about OLD. I’ve met a lot of great women, but a boatload of flakes…attention wh*res, nutcases, etc. Just last weekend this b!tch blocked me for absolutely no reason the day of the date, when I was finalizing plans. You have to learn not to take it so seriously. Remember, a high value man doesn’t give two fvcks if one broad flakes—he’s got a life, a purpose, and a ton of other options. Women will pick up on that vibe and be attracted to it due to the lack of neediness and how it demonstrates a strong, masculine core.

Women hold so much power in OLD they know they can jerk a guy around as much as they want, and he or another sucker will step right up. The best remedy is not to invest until you see her start to invest—you want to roughly match her effort. Any transgression from her, and you ignore, which will either correct her behaviour or she’ll find some other sucker to torment.

 

[manfrombelow]

It's natural for women to be fickle. When we talk about the concept of "women" we also talk about the concept of "fickle".

Thus the term "fickle women" are unneccessary, because "women" alone already mean fickle. Women are supposed to be fickle.

And that's OK. We don't complain when a tiger eats a deer so we should not also complain when women are fickle.