Out of the game for over 2 years and don't feel like going back

[sangheilios]

It's been well over 2 years since I've approached a woman, let alone actually went on a date with one. The last date I had was sometime around June of 2019. I was having nothing but bad experiences that were ruining my self esteem/confidence and my mental health was beginning to suffer. I had some flake around September of 2019 and I had this switch click in my mind where I was just like "why the hell am I wasting all of my time and energy on something that gives me nothing????". All I was getting was out right rejections, flakes, first dates that led to nothing more, etc. Some of these were from women I found very attractive, but many were even from women I had little to no attraction towards, so women I honestly saw as below my league, and even that didn't work. Speed dating event, OLD, fat chicks at a bar......nothing.

Anyway, I feel that I can essentially say that this energy of mine where I've been out of the game started shortly before COVID began, I feel the pandemic just gave me a reason to continue that mindset and the next thing I know it's become a habit. I'm in the best shape of my life right now, in regards to overall strength, muscle mass and athletic conditioning, and just a complete outlier with that lol. I've built up my finances to some incredible level and quickly approaching millionaire status, depending on how things line up for me with my other pursuits I'm trying to hit multi millionaire status within the next 5 years and want to enjoy a specific lifestyle. I recently just finished up some intense science pre req courses with A grades that are required for a competitive health career that I'm potentially pursuing, which may or may not lineup. Overall I've just been crushing it and I feel that I'm almost prime right now in more ways than one.

However, something that has changed in me since COVID is my tolerance of certain people and their behaviors has practically become nonexistent. I've cut so many people out of my life that really added no value. I had a bunch of male "friends" that were either within my sphere of influence to ride my coat tails or for other stupid reasons. I was experiencing thoughts like "Why the hell do I even spend time with this loser when I could be doing other things to help reach my goals?".

I also feel that this attitude has spilled over to women/dating. My biggest thing would be feeling that my time would be wasted pursuing some women, who I'm not even that into, who most likely aren't going to pursue me and will ultimately detract from my goals. I don't have much in the manner of free time but every once in a while I'd want to lay some pipe with some hot chick but I realize that this isn't going to happen. I'll start reminiscing about my past experiences and all the wasted time with women I even felt no interested in and I just feel like there is absolutely no point and that it won't be any different this time around. I've seen what the quality of women out there is like and it just disgusts me. What adds to this is I see what types of men they go for and it just fuels this mindset of mine. I see these types of women reject me years ago but then be in relationships with obese men, smokers, drug addicts, men that are literally homeless, etc. When you have a guy like me who has a **** ton going for him but then see that they prefer loser men like that I feel anyone in my positon would walk away from it.

 

[Scars]

" I've built up my finances to some incredible level and quickly approaching millionaire status, depending on how things line up for me with my other pursuits I'm trying to hit multi millionaire status within the next 5 years and want to enjoy a specific lifestyle. "

Just focus on this.

Being an entrepreneur myself, I can relate to this heavily. You're going through cycles of loneliness and depression. You feel all your male friends are using you to get a leg up in life, and you can't truly connect with any females because you don't know if they're using you for your wealth or not. You wanna know the truth? Fvck all of them. Let the men hate, and let the women get knocked up by some loser who works at a gas station. Build yourself up and your career.

I know you have some sense of long term gratification, otherwise you wouldn't be in your financial spot. People who make millions usually don't make it over night. Apply this same mindset to your dating life. You're going through a small moment of loneliness, but "this too shall pass".

I think you need to realize WHO THE FVCK YOU ARE. I can guarantee pretty much all these people who are hurting your feelings right now are losers. Surround yourself with people who are gonna bring you up in life. Both men and women. I know you said you cut off a lot of people in your life, but I think you're still hanging on to certain friends and relationships and they're bringing you down. Cut it off bro.

"I'd rather be lonely than surrounded by bad company."

- Scars

 

[SW15]

You have massive trauma from poor dating experiences. That's understandable. Rejections, flakes, and "one date, no sex, no second date" type dates will do that to a man. It's normal to feel that way.

Psychotherapy might be useful in working through the abuse you've experienced while trying to get your dicck wet.

At some point, you will feel sexual urges. I'm surprised you are not extremely horny 24/7 right now.

Being 6'4" and muscular would put you in position to be what the incels call a "Chad". 6'4" and muscular is quite appealing to women. That's top tier stuff right there. You have the potential to harness that and turn that into consistent lays.

Game is some combination of looks, money, status, and persona. You are doing well with money, height, and muscles. You need to develop game around those elements.

 

[sangheilios]

" I've built up my finances to some incredible level and quickly approaching millionaire status, depending on how things line up for me with my other pursuits I'm trying to hit multi millionaire status within the next 5 years and want to enjoy a specific lifestyle. "

Just focus on this.

Being an entrepreneur myself, I can relate to this heavily. You're going through cycles of loneliness and depression. You feel all your male friends are using you to get a leg up in life, and you can't truly connect with any females because you don't know if they're using you for your wealth or not. You wanna know the truth? Fvck all of them. Let the men hate, and let the women get knocked up by some loser who works at a gas station. Build yourself up and your career.

I know you have some sense of long term gratification, otherwise you wouldn't be in your financial spot. People who make millions usually don't make it over night. Apply this same mindset to your dating life. You're going through a small moment of loneliness, but "this too shall pass".

I think you need to realize WHO THE FVCK YOU ARE. I can guarantee pretty much all these people who are hurting your feelings right now are losers. Surround yourself with people who are gonna bring you up in life. Both men and women. I know you said you cut off a lot of people in your life, but I think you're still hanging on to certain friends and relationships and they're bringing you down. Cut it off bro.

"I'd rather be lonely than surrounded by bad company."

- Scars

I honestly don't flaunt my wealth or make it known but in the past I made some mistakes with disclosing some of my goals to people that were within my social sphere. When I look back on it now, some of these people clearly popped into my life and tried spending time with me in order to benefit from it (asking for loans or bringing up stupid business propositions, etc.). However, at the time I overlooked all of this because I wasn't letting them take advantage of me and honestly I enjoyed their company then and it got me out of the house.


I live in a dry climate in the U.S, I'm not going to disclose where I live obviously, but I have access to world class hiking within minutes of where I live and I've been making it a habit to do that at least once a week to clear my head. I've found walking around in the mountains away from people is just a massive stress relief, I actually did this earlier this evening. I've also been making it a habit to get massages regularly now, doing yoga and giving myself some free time to watch a movies, etc.

I'd honestly like to spend time in my current state/area and also live in Hawaii, I don't have to explain why with all of the unique outdoor adventures available to me in a place like that.

You have massive trauma from poor dating experiences. That's understandable. Rejections, flakes, and "one date, no sex, no second date" type dates will do that to a man. It's normal to feel that way.

Psychotherapy might be useful in working through the abuse you've experienced while trying to get your dicck wet.

At some point, you will feel sexual urges. I'm surprised you are not extremely horny 24/7 right now.

Being 6'4" and muscular would put you in position to be what the incels call a "Chad". 6'4" and muscular is quite appealing to women. That's top tier stuff right there. You have the potential to harness that and turn that into consistent lays.

Game is some combination of looks, money, status, and persona. You are doing well with money, height, and muscles. You need to develop game around those elements.

I'm honestly too busy right now to even realize that I'm sexually charged. I also feel that a lot of this sexual energy I use and expend on the gym, my other active pass times and my job, investments, classes, etc. I can't really explain what I'm talking about but I've been hyper charged for a while now and I've been crushing it. There are some hotties I see at the gym that I'd practically rape if they were in my house alone lol but I have these fears of having my time and energy wasted. There is an old guy in his 80s who talks to me there that is amazed at all my physical feats and he will point out a hot chick and tell me "that would be a good match for you, go talk to her." and I'll turn it down and change the subject. I honestly enjoy having someone like that recognize what I have going for me and hype me up, especially when just about everyone in the past did the opposite.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Time is an investment currency you can never get back.

Once you spend it, it's gone forever.

Unlike dollars, you can never earn more time. You can just get wiser about how you choose to spend it. Some spend it on relationships, some kids, some on a business, and others are masters at wasting it all until it's too late with literally nothing to show for it. We all know "that guy." I do anyway. Hopefully it's not you who's reading this.

Women can be a HUGE time suck. Not saying all are, just saying dating and bad relationships can be. I've been there. Especially if you put women #1 in your life. If you want marriage, kids, all that stuff, great. Just know it comes at a major time cost with no guarantees and major risks too. You need 2 votes to get married and 1 vote to get divorced. In 2021,the man also gets the bad end of a divorce deal 98% of the time.

Be wise with your time. As you get older (me) you realize as the runway gets shorter, you tolerate less and less BS from friends, family, and women. OP said he made cuts. Good man. I have too over the years. Some difficult as they were family members. But my peace of mind has never been greater.

Remember that time is ALWAYS your #1 currency whether you have $1,000,000 or $1 in the bank.

Good luck.

 

[corrector]

I dont feel like going back either. High five for another blackpill thread. You are trying to make millions while I am trying to get off social assistance and onlyfans. However, I will just put up one OLD profile up, just so at least I am trying something.

So you are saying I have a better chance than you do?

 

[xuzaki]

Sounds like you've been acing some parts of your life with epic success.

When you have a guy like me who has a **** ton going for him but then see that they prefer loser men like that I feel anyone in my positon would walk away from it.

Don't let your other successes create a buffer against facing your demons, getting rejected, and improving with the ladies. The girls are acting how they do for a reason. Game/women is another part of life only indirectly related with fitness and wealth.

 

[sangheilios]

Sounds like you've been acing some parts of your life with epic success.

Don't let your other successes create a buffer against facing your demons, getting rejected, and improving with the ladies. The girls are acting how they do for a reason. Game/women is another part of life only indirectly related with fitness and wealth.

It's hard to explain my internal processing with this, but on a deeper level I legitimately feel insulted to see lesser men getting success when they can't compare to me on all these different levels but then seeing women criticize me, belittle me, etc. Granted, I've been out of the game for quite a long time now, well over 2 years, but I have a feeling if I was to go back in it would be fairly similar. The only difference would be that I'd not tolerate much at all and would quickly step away from even the slightest sense of being rejected, having my time wasted, etc.

I do partially question if I was just experiencing a lot of bad luck, timing, etc. However, another part of me questions if I was running into insecure women that auto rejected me. I don't like to fully believe that these are the variables at play, because it completely takes everything from my side out of the equation and says "everything but me is the problem". I do feel that what I'm mentioning here has truth to it but I'm sure there is something on my end I could do differently. I've always struggled on a social level with many individuals, though I never really gave a damn about trying to fit in or be a poser in order to be accepted/fit in.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

OP, you keep making these threads and it's the same old refrain. You'd do much better in a different society. Since you can't go back in time, I'd suggest moving to a different country with a more traditional society where your attributes are more appreciated. Is your business online?

 

[sangheilios]

OP, you keep making these threads and it's the same old refrain. You'd do much better in a different society. Since you can't go back in time, I'd suggest moving to a different country with a more traditional society where your attributes are more appreciated. Is your business online?

I'm not interested in moving to another country or having to mold myself to try to fit in and to be accepted by dysfunctional individuals.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

What part of the country are you in?

If you're still in Tucson, I can tell you the women are better in the Valley. I get OLD profiles from women there thrown my way, and the women in Phoenix/Scottsdale are significantly less cuhnty and more appealing. I'd give it a shot.

The dating scene here is one of the best in the country, and we're not as beholden to a commie mayor like you guys are.

Tucson actually seems like a BAD dating scene (relative even to socal) now that I think about it. It's also a liberal and kinda poor city. People will be more likely to be jealous of perceived success there, especially at your age.

But for your mental block, you have to be at least willing to see an escort. THEN you can start gaming again, and hopefully in a better gaming environment. Lo an behold, there's even one that's a short 2 hours away. You've cut your ties, right?

You have less excuses than @biggoal at this point. Move to Scottsdale. Tons of blonde, hot cougars who would love to set your head straight if you let them. I guarantee it.

Or you can keep making threads here, your choice.

 

[corrector]

I'm not interested in moving to another country or having to mold myself to try to fit in and to be accepted by dysfunctional individuals.

You sound like a narcissist. You must be doing something to put these women off.

 

[metalwater]

Read a few of your threads. It sounds like you are confident but also sure ppl and or women do not like you.

this isn't in any order of import, just some ideas.

- listen more to that 80-year-old friend. have coffee or beer with him someplace if you don't do that already.

- join a bible study that is mixed with men and women. You're not looking for dates in that group, only conversation, and perspectives.

- get a nice motorcycle, learn to ride, and join a riding club. you will be surprised at the sort of ppl you find and also riding is a really nice way to spend some relaxing time. I recommend this one for you.

 

[SW15]

I'm honestly too busy right now to even realize that I'm sexually charged. I also feel that a lot of this sexual energy I use and expend on the gym, my other active pass times and my job, investments, classes, etc. I can't really explain what I'm talking about but I've been hyper charged for a while now and I've been crushing it. There are some hotties I see at the gym that I'd practically rape if they were in my house alone but I have these fears of having my time and energy wasted. There is an old guy in his 80s who talks to me there that is amazed at all my physical feats and he will point out a hot chick and tell me "that would be a good match for you, go talk to her." and I'll turn it down and change the subject.

There is evidence that the trauma inflicted upon you by female rejections is affecting your mental state. I perceive that as normal because if you keep failing at something, there are going to negative associations with that thing. For you, that thing is approaching and mating. You need to see a mental health professional about that. You also might need some prescription drugs over it. Only a mental health professional would know.

The old man in his 80s might not be attuned to body language and women's earbuds in the gym but I think he can see that you being 6'4" and muscular puts you ahead of most men. You must carry yourself with extreme confidence knowing that you are the physical specimen that women desire.

I've always struggled on a social level with many individuals, though I never really gave a damn about trying to fit in or be a poser in order to be accepted/fit in.

This is the core of the issue. Your social skills are deficient. Game/seduction is some combination of looks, money, status, and persona. With you, the issue can only be facial aesthetics or persona. If it were facial aesthetics, you now have enough money to get plastic surgery to fix any facial aesthetics issues. When a man is 6'4" and muscular, his looks are a major advantage. A man doesn't need much in the way of a personality to get laid when he is 6'4" and muscular. Women operate on feelings and emotions. How you make them feel is the most important thing. Women feel amazing about getting their pusssies drilled by a 6'4" and muscular guy. That's the dream for them. Most women who you talk to immediately feel that attraction to you. It's a massive advantage. You still need a little bit of a personality to get them naked. You don't need as much of a personality as a guy who is 5'7", but they can't feel awkward or any bit unusual around you. What I sense is happening on your approaches is that the woman is awesomely attracted to your physique but is turned off by your personality/vibe. We can't diagnose the personality issue on a message board forum. You are articulate in your writing.

It's hard to explain my internal processing with this, but on a deeper level I legitimately feel insulted to see lesser men getting success when they can't compare to me on all these different levels but then seeing women criticize me, belittle me, etc.

I do partially question if I was just experiencing a lot of bad luck, timing, etc. However, another part of me questions if I was running into insecure women that auto rejected me. I don't like to fully believe that these are the variables at play, because it completely takes everything from my side out of the equation and says "everything but me is the problem". I do feel that what I'm mentioning here has truth to it but I'm sure there is something on my end I could do differently.

You have every reason to feel insulted by this given the physical advantage you have over most men. It seems most men have a social skills/vibe advantage over you. Something is really off about your personality and vibe if women are belittling and criticizing a man of your physique. That's their dream physique.

I can identify with the timing issue. If you're doing in-person approaching, most women at any given point in time are going to be in some sort of relationship and not looking for new penis. The big advantage of bars over non-bar venues is that women demonstrate by showing up to bars that they are more likely to be looking for new penis. At the gym, a park, the mall, the grocery store, or a hiking trail, it is difficult to figure out immediately if a woman is in the market for penis. If you went hiking at 7 AM on a weekend morning and saw a hottie alone on a hiking trail, there's a good chance she's single. If she were in a relationship, there's a good chance her boyfriend/husband would be there or she'd still be in bed with him. There are little tips and tricks like that example that are only gained with real world experience.

The gym floor is a tough place to do approaching. Your physique puts you ahead of most men there. Even still, at the gym, it's not easy. Many of the women have boyfriends/husbands already. With your physique, you could attract women looking to monkey branch/have an affair. You have to watch signals closely and approach with confidence. I have a feeling there's some big incongruity with your vibe. Women are expecting a 6'4" and muscular guy to have a big personality and be confident to match the big muscles.

I think to some extent that you're selecting some women not in a frame of mind to be approached but I don't think that is the primary problem.

Women can be a HUGE time suck. Not saying all are, just saying dating and bad relationships can be. I've been there. Especially if you put women #1 in your life. If you want marriage, kids, all that stuff, great. Just know it comes at a major time cost with no guarantees and major risks too. You need 2 votes to get married and 1 vote to get divorced. In 2021,the man also gets the bad end of a divorce deal 98% of the time.

Approaching is difficult and time consuming. The initial seduction phase is a time suck. If a man gets a solid relationship that extends a while out of approaching, the upfront time investment on approaching is justified.

While relationships have some benefits, relationships tend to end in some fashion. If you don't get married, you don't have to experience divorce. Without a divorce, there is no bad financial settlement when it ends. Non-marital breakups are often painful but less painful than a divorce with some unpleasant financial settlement. Nothing ever forces a man to put a ring on it. There are men that have extended relationships but never put on a ring on it and never have kids with their girlfriends. They avoid many of the downsides. However, even that man I just described can experience relational traumas.

 

[SW15]

If you're still in Tucson, I can tell you the women are better in the Valley. I get OLD profiles from women there thrown my way, and the women in Phoenix/Scottsdale are significantly less cuhnty and more appealing. I'd give it a shot.

The dating scene here is one of the best in the country, and we're not as beholden to a commie mayor like you guys are.

Tucson actually seems like a BAD dating scene (relative even to socal) now that I think about it. It's also a liberal and kinda poor city. People will be more likely to be jealous of perceived success there, especially at your age.

But for your mental block, you have to be at least willing to see an escort. THEN you can start gaming again, and hopefully in a better gaming environment. Lo an behold, there's even one that's a short 2 hours away. You've cut your ties, right?

Move to Scottsdale. Tons of blonde, hot cougars who would love to set your head straight if you let them.

Geography can matter. There are some good points in here about the dating scenes in Tucson vs. Phoenix, which are the two biggest metro areas in Arizona. The bottom line is that Metro Phoenix offers a better scene, although Phoenix is not a pusssy paradise. Metro Phoenix has a population of over 4 million and Metro Tucson slightly over 1 million.

At slightly over 1 million, Tucson is big enough to not have a lack of population problem. Most men looking to date run into the population problems when they are over 25 & their metro area has a population of less than 150,000. On the surface, Tucson passes those tests.

When you dig beneath the surface, Tucson has some challenges. There's not a great employment base in Tucson. A lot of the graduates of the major university there do not stay in Tucson after graduation. It's easiest to date in Tucson if you are a university student or a retiree. If you want to date university students, either undergrads or graduate level students, it is much easier to be affiliated with the university as a fellow student. It's much more challenging to date a university student when you are some regular dude working in the city and not working at the university. You can meet these women out in public randomly or via swipe app, but it's much more challenging. The university students spend more time on campus and in the campus ecosystem, so a non-affiliated guy doesn't have a much of a chance in daygame with them.

If you're an early 30s guy in Tucson who isn't a student or university employee and you're trying to market yourself to women 22-30 who aren't university students in Tucson, that's a tougher target market. A lot of women who fit that description are local Hispanics who never went to college at the major university there. You have to have cultural competence in addition to being 6'4" and muscular. I'd recommend either being Spanish fluent or an excellent salsa dancer to get to this market as a non-Hispanic. White women 22-30 who aren't university students is a smaller target for non-Hispanic men looking to stay within the same ethnicity/lifestyle.

In Phoenix, there is a bigger young professionals population. More women and more white women. More of the university graduates of the major university in Tempe stay in Phoenix post graduation. A lot of women from the major university in Tucson end up in Phoenix post graduation. Phoenix is one of the strangest metros in the USA where suburbs are more singles oriented than the central city. The suburbs of Scottsdale and Tempe have a big singles scene. Old Town Scottsdale has been a nightlife hub for decades. That's a tough scene. The women at the Old Town bars or even in daygame spots around Old Town are quite good looking and hypergamous/demanding. 6'4" and muscular helps a lot here, but charisma is needed to close and retain them. Tempe has a major university and a good 20s population. Some central city neighborhoods in Phoenix have a scene and it would be possible to date solely within the central Phoenix and not venture into the hugely competitive 20s/early 30s Scottsdale and Tempe scenes.

Yes, there are also 40s cougars in Metro Phoenix. More so than in Tucson.

Given what's going on with @sangheilios, I don't think a Tucson to Phoenix relocation would fix his dating woes right now. He has more inner game work to do.

 

[sangheilios]

What part of the country are you in?

If you're still in Tucson, I can tell you the women are better in the Valley. I get OLD profiles from women there thrown my way, and the women in Phoenix/Scottsdale are significantly less cuhnty and more appealing. I'd give it a shot.

The dating scene here is one of the best in the country, and we're not as beholden to a commie mayor like you guys are.

Tucson actually seems like a BAD dating scene (relative even to socal) now that I think about it. It's also a liberal and kinda poor city. People will be more likely to be jealous of perceived success there, especially at your age.

But for your mental block, you have to be at least willing to see an escort. THEN you can start gaming again, and hopefully in a better gaming environment. Lo an behold, there's even one that's a short 2 hours away. You've cut your ties, right?

You have less excuses than @biggoal at this point. Move to Scottsdale. Tons of blonde, hot cougars who would love to set your head straight if you let them. I guarantee it.

Or you can keep making threads here, your choice.

Geography can matter. There are some good points in here about the dating scenes in Tucson vs. Phoenix, which are the two biggest metro areas in Arizona. The bottom line is that Metro Phoenix offers a better scene, although Phoenix is not a pusssy paradise. Metro Phoenix has a population of over 4 million and Metro Tucson slightly over 1 million.

At slightly over 1 million, Tucson is big enough to not have a lack of population problem. Most men looking to date run into the population problems when they are over 25 & their metro area has a population of less than 150,000. On the surface, Tucson passes those tests.

When you dig beneath the surface, Tucson has some challenges. There's not a great employment base in Tucson. A lot of the graduates of the major university there do not stay in Tucson after graduation. It's easiest to date in Tucson if you are a university student or a retiree. If you want to date university students, either undergrads or graduate level students, it is much easier to be affiliated with the university as a fellow student. It's much more challenging to date a university student when you are some regular dude working in the city and not working at the university. You can meet these women out in public randomly or via swipe app, but it's much more challenging. The university students spend more time on campus and in the campus ecosystem, so a non-affiliated guy doesn't have a much of a chance in daygame with them.

If you're an early 30s guy in Tucson who isn't a student or university employee and you're trying to market yourself to women 22-30 who aren't university students in Tucson, that's a tougher target market. A lot of women who fit that description are local Hispanics who never went to college at the major university there. You have to have cultural competence in addition to being 6'4" and muscular. I'd recommend either being Spanish fluent or an excellent salsa dancer to get to this market as a non-Hispanic. White women 22-30 who aren't university students is a smaller target for non-Hispanic men looking to stay within the same ethnicity/lifestyle.

In Phoenix, there is a bigger young professionals population. More women and more white women. More of the university graduates of the major university in Tempe stay in Phoenix post graduation. A lot of women from the major university in Tucson end up in Phoenix post graduation. Phoenix is one of the strangest metros in the USA where suburbs are more singles oriented than the central city. The suburbs of Scottsdale and Tempe have a big singles scene. Old Town Scottsdale has been a nightlife hub for decades. That's a tough scene. The women at the Old Town bars or even in daygame spots around Old Town are quite good looking and hypergamous/demanding. 6'4" and muscular helps a lot here, but charisma is needed to close and retain them. Tempe has a major university and a good 20s population. Some central city neighborhoods in Phoenix have a scene and it would be possible to date solely within the central Phoenix and not venture into the hugely competitive 20s/early 30s Scottsdale and Tempe scenes.

Yes, there are also 40s cougars in Metro Phoenix. More so than in Tucson.

Given what's going on with @sangheilios, I don't think a Tucson to Phoenix relocation would fix his dating woes right now. He has more inner game work to do.

I'm not fully convinced if it's a matter of geography or not, though I do honestly believe that this may indeed be a major part in this but just one piece. I've considered moving to the Phoenix metro but I've also heard some not so great things about the social/dating market there. I've heard several people talk about the pretentiousness in Scottsdale, gold diggers, etc. I really don't think I'd do well in an environment like that because it's not really me, also who would want to date women that are more concerned with what you drive than actually liking you? I do feel that no matter where I go someone like me will have a hard time finding another person, I've felt this way for years but I'm slowly starting to accept it as I get older and lo and behold I've actually been happier.

As I mentioned to @Scars I feel that continuing to pursue my goals and maintaining the life purpose I have now is probably in my best interest. As I continue to build my wealth it'll open up some things for me that aren't quite there for me now. Several years back I had a conversation with someone who said I should move to Hawaii and learn how to surf, literally learning how to ride waves that are thrown at you. I really do feel extremely happy and at peace when I'm in solitude in nature so perhaps there is some truth to this, whereas whenever I'm trying to make anything happen with people I become genuinely very stressed.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Ok, then don't.

 

[metalwater]

Several years back I had a conversation with someone who said I should move to Hawaii and learn how to surf, literally learning how to ride waves that are thrown at you. I really do feel extremely happy and at peace when I'm in solitude in nature so perhaps there is some truth to this, whereas whenever I'm trying to make anything happen with people I become genuinely very stressed.

Hawaii, nice to visit very expensive to live in if you're in the capital city. Can try the big island in Hawaii, still expensive and the standard of living will be less than you are used to but maybe doable. ppl are still ppl, if your standoff type it will still be the same for you. If you are willing to move to Hawaii, seriously consider some other locations in other LOW-cost countries. As a foreigner, you can easily get away with being reserved and standoffish and just blame it on language and culture. It means you can be included in things if you want or not, and be around ppl and included without actually needing to keep up with the social interactions. At the same time, women will identify you as will men as ABOVE them and you will more or less have your pick of women with many making it so easy for you. If you are at all or even possibly on the autism spectrum this is one of the solutions for you. It is in no way an insult it is simply if it is like that for you this suggestion will make your life very different and perhaps better. The good news for you is you already have RP knowledge so you would be able to do well. The other solution is to be in a group setting of trusted... friends and they will buffer for you. It's not something that you make an agreement with them, it just happens naturally when and if they are your real friends and you are a real friend to them. Both the bikers and the bible types will match you with women after they trust you. Only after they trust you and you have demonstrated a sustained interest in the group activity.

Honesty is a problem if I have guessed right for you. Meaning you might be too honest sometimes. don't lie to ppl... well unless she is really hot... Seriously, it's ok to not tell everything to some ppl as they don't need to know.

You are welcome to pm me anytime.

 

[SW15]

I'm not fully convinced if it's a matter of geography or not, though I do honestly believe that this may indeed be a major part in this but just one piece. I've considered moving to the Phoenix metro but I've also heard some not so great things about the social/dating market there. I've heard several people talk about the pretentiousness in Scottsdale, gold diggers, etc. I really don't think I'd do well in an environment like that because it's not really me, also who would want to date women that are more concerned with what you drive than actually liking you? I do feel that no matter where I go someone like me will have a hard time finding another person, I've felt this way for years but I'm slowly starting to accept it as I get older and lo and behold I've actually been happier.

You don't have a geography problem. You have a personality problem. That's astonishing since it doesn't take much charisma as a 6'4" man with big muscles to get laid. 6'4" and big muscles should entitle you to at least cute women if not the Porsche/Mercedes-Benz tier of women (8-9).

Scottsdale is the most pretentious part of the Phoenix Metro area. You can meet singles in central Phoenix areas and not deal with the Scottsdale crowd. Phoenix itself is a little bit more realistic and less pretentious. Scottsdale is a big hub of singles activity though. If you're out at Scottsdale bars and dealing with cute/hot women, your game has to be on point. 6'4" and big muscles will get their attention, but they also expect more than that. Charisma helps a lot. Men with lesser physiques who want to play in the Scottsdale scene flash cash and status symbol car brands like BMW, Mercedes-Benz, and Porsche to get laid with attractive women. This is why Game is some combination of money, status, looks, and persona. If you are reasonably fit, under 35, and drive a 3 Series, C-Class, or similar vehicle, you can bang women who are a part of the Scottsdale scene.