What to do here

[jaymbrs]

I’m trying to use the right head here. Short backstory: my friend and I went to Twin Peaks on Friday. I’m not a regular there but I have gone a few times. The HB 7 bartender is instantly engaging me in conversation that leads to her telling me she’s single and looking. I tell her I’m in the same boat and proceed to tell her we should go out sometime. I go to the bathroom and upon returning my friend is telling me how she was telling him that she’s into me and wondering if he thought I felt the same. Before leaving she voluntarily gave me her phone number, I text her and she texts back to confirm.

Next day I sent her a text asking how her day is looking with the intention of linking up. I got no response.

Today she sends me a text with some BS about how she was super busy At work, blah blah blah. I know women have their phones on them at all times so that’s BS.

Question for the forum, should I even entertain this or just move on? I have no issue doing either one as I have 2 other plates I’m interested in.

 

[HaleyBaron]

Move on, don't bother.

Age old wisdom: strike when the iron is hot. You should have hooked up while her feelings were in flirt mode.

Another wisdom: don't hook up with bartenders unless they are chasing you. Bartenders are essentially alcohol hookers.

 

[Willie Naylor]

I also say to move on.

She enjoys the dopamine hits she gets everytime some 'cute guy from the bar' texts her.

 

[jaymbrs]

Move on, don't bother.

Age old wisdom: strike when the iron is hot. You should have hooked up while her feelings were in flirt mode.

Another wisdom: don't hook up with bartenders unless they are chasing you. Bartenders are essentially alcohol hookers.

I asked her what she was doing after she got off and she said she was tired and going home. I also didn’t chase her. She chased me.

 

[Willie Naylor]

I asked her what she was doing after she got off and she said she was tired and going home. I also didn’t chase her. She chased me.

This means 'not interested.'

She wanted you to tip her well when you left.

That's all there is to this.

 

[Bingo-Player]

She's just testing you out she wants to see if you will crack

Women do this to weed out creepy needy men , but you have to remember you are just some random guy she met

she reached back out .....reply as normal if the games continue after a week and no date / sex then next her

 

[derby1]

first of all women can go fck themselves, if OP cant reach out to them within a 24 hour period. god forbid he has his own life and is busy, or not convenient. Imagine dating these lunatics, whose dopamine receptors leave on a whim

2nd of all OP bar girls are the worst, their also experts at what they do.

start making women qualify themselves. they get wet as hell for a man that judges them personally, they just cant stand it online.

theres a way to doing it though, I used to come across as criticising.

 

[Willie Naylor]

She's just testing you out she wants to see if you will crack

Women do this to weed out creepy needy men , but you have to remember you are just some random guy she met

she reached back out .....reply as normal if the games continue after a week and no date / sex then next her

That's a lot of wonkiness. Things are really simple. Our egos make them complicated.

Res ipsa loquitor. The thing speaks for itself. Ain't that right @Barrister?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Ask her out and proceed from there...now we are down to analyzing why a woman we just met doesn't text back within a certain amount of time?? Good lord...no wonder so many guys struggle

 

[SW15]

@jaymbrs -- Definitely ask her out. In person, while you were in front of her, it would have been better to pitch her a specific date idea and time. I never get a phone number without first making plans. Getting something meaningful out of a Twin Peaks waitress while she was on shift is an achievement.

It's not a big deal if she flakes. If you have two other options you're working right now, Ms. Twin Peaks' action or non-action doesn't matter too much.

Keep prospecting!

 

[jaymbrs]

Ask her out and proceed from there...now we are down to analyzing why a woman we just met doesn't text back within a certain amount of time?? Good lord...no wonder so many guys struggle

I’m weeding out the game playing and/or low IL ones. She was the one who chased me. Now she’s not responding to a simple text? Me smells BS.

@jaymbrs -- Definitely ask her out. In person, while you were in front of her, it would have been better to pitch her a specific date idea and time. I never get a phone number without first making plans. Getting something meaningful out of a Twin Peaks waitress while she was on shift is an achievement.

It's not a big deal if she flakes. If you have two other options you're working right now, Ms. Twin Peaks' action or non-action doesn't matter too much.

Keep prospecting!

I agree. Both my friend and I thought it would be an easy slam dunk based on how she was coming off to me. I guess even a for sure thing isn’t a for sure thing anymore which blows my mind.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I’m weeding out the game playing and/or low IL ones. She was the one who chased me. Now she’s not responding to a simple text? Me smells BS.

Maybe, maybe not. Trying to analyze behavior after meeting someone once isn't the way to do it tho, especially when you haven't even asked her out or spent any real time with her outside of her job.

 

[Willie Naylor]

I’m weeding out the game playing and/or low IL ones. She was the one who chased me. Now she’s not responding to a simple text? Me smells BS.

This forum is screwing up some of you guys' social skills, I think.

 

[jaymbrs]

This forum is screwing up some of you guys' social skills, I think.

10 years ago, I would've gotten a number and smashed within a week. These days I get a number and no response. The forum is just keeping up with the times. Game playing women are at an unprecedented high level right now.

 

[Willie Naylor]

10 years ago, I would've gotten a number and smashed within a week. These days I get a number and no response. The forum is just keeping up with the times. Game playing women are at an unprecedented high level right now.

Thing is, the competent members of this forum have all the answers.

You created a 'girl gave me her #, now has gone cold' thread. This ain't nothin' new, patna. It says you've been a member since 2017 - but by the looks of things, you still got Similac on yah breff.

 

[jaymbrs]

Thing is, the competent members of this forum have all the answers.

You created a 'girl gave me her #, now has gone cold' thread. This ain't nothin' new, patna. It says you've been a member since 2017 - but by the looks of things, you still got Similac on yah breff.

It's mainly to entertain you guys. I do just fine with women.

 

[Willie Naylor]

It's mainly to entertain you guys. I do just fine with women.

Evidently.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Things are really simple. Our egos make them complicated.

Indeed why are men so bothered a chick has taken a day to reply ?

The forum preaches low interest and nexting as if it is some sort of solution in some cases it's the only option but sometimes all that is required is a little patience and nuance

We understand women well enough to know that without an emotional bond you are very easily disposable

Getting a woman's number doesn't mean you have a bond with her , texting her "hey it's xyz" doesn't create a bond

You wont create the foundation for a bond until you have spent several hours with her in real life

This will never be achieved by simply nexting any girl that doesn't immediately comply with your expectations /ego

 

[Grounded eagle]

I’m trying to use the right head here. Short backstory: my friend and I went to Twin Peaks on Friday. I’m not a regular there but I have gone a few times. The HB 7 bartender is instantly engaging me in conversation that leads to her telling me she’s single and looking. I tell her I’m in the same boat and proceed to tell her we should go out sometime. I go to the bathroom and upon returning my friend is telling me how she was telling him that she’s into me and wondering if he thought I felt the same. Before leaving she voluntarily gave me her phone number, I text her and she texts back to confirm.

Next day I sent her a text asking how her day is looking with the intention of linking up. I got no response.

Today she sends me a text with some BS about how she was super busy At work, blah blah blah. I know women have their phones on them at all times so that’s BS.

Question for the forum, should I even entertain this or just move on? I have no issue doing either one as I have 2 other plates I’m interested in.

I am appalled at some of the advice I’ve seen on this thread.For one thing,you’ve only known her for about a day. You should temper your expectations considering that. You should also consider that she’s a bartender and it was a weekend,so she probably was actually busy.

All this being too quick to ask whether you should next her is borderline ridiculous. You may well be doing yourself a disservice by being too eager to eject,costing you a girl who could be interested.

Give it time.If she continues to play games then you got your answer.But to jump to conclusions without having even gone out once?Ridiculous.

 

[Barrister]

She is just trying to feel you out. I don't think this qualifies as "game playing" at this stage.

I have had women sit on an initial text exchange for a couple of days before responding. After building rapport (as well as banging them) and asking them what their thought process was (because I was genuinely curious when we both knew they read the message as soon as it came through), they admitted that they were into me but knew that by texting back it likely meant they essentially were agreeing to hook up with me. This is basically the same thing that you are describing.

Go see other women while this one goes through the feeling out stage. You being overly eager will probably make her NOT want to see you -- so get your mind on other things. Good luck, brother.