Older Women

[Igetit!]

Update: she's still texting me things like "how's work" and "how are you". She still hasnt actually given any details for the date.

If you're interested in going out with her,then YOU need to take the lead and set up the date.

Geez. This is the perfect scenario for 99% of guys. This chick....

somehow acquired your contact info
got into touch with you
ASKED YOU about the two of you getting together and hanging out
and asked about your ROMANTIC STATUS.....whether you have a girlfriend or not

and after all that,she's STILL sending you messages,asking you how you're doing and how work is going


I'm sitting here reading this like,What man? What? You want her to push you down,rip your pants off,and stick your (cough,cough) into her?

You seem like you're so "ansy" about possibly messing things up,that you don't seem to realize that you sitting back and DOING NOTHING while she's putting all this effort in WILL mess things up.

I want to play it cool but either she is using this for attention or waiting for me to go direct.

Dude.......geeez....

Why would a FORMER co-worker..........OUT OF THE BLUE.........do all this...for attention? You think she's going to do all this,then turn around and say no when you try to set up a date? This is too much work on HER part for that.

You say you want to play "it cool". Ok,do that. You're going to keep on "playing it cool" until she GOES COLD.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Update: I'm going to be seeing her for "coffee" tomorrow, she doesn't drink alcohol so i suggested a coffee shop.

She never did ask me out, it seemed like she was waiting for me to do it. Even when a girl reaches out they make you do the work.

I haven't seen her in a long time, I also didn't specify that this is a date but i will try to escalate anyways.

 

[BadBoy89]

10 years older? Isn't a woman's face melted at 35?

Technically a 35-year-old could have a 17-year daughter. She could be a grandmother in less than 2 years!

Do what you want, but I wouldn't waste time with such an older woman.

 

[Plinco]

Update: I'm going to be seeing her for "coffee" tomorrow, she doesn't drink alcohol so i suggested a coffee shop.

She never did ask me out, it seemed like she was waiting for me to do it. Even when a girl reaches out they make you do the work.

I haven't seen her in a long time, I also didn't specify that this is a date but i will try to escalate anyways.

Go for it. It will be a learning experience for you.

 

[9-3enthusiast]

Go for it. It will be a learning experience for you.

Agreed!

At 22 I had a regular weekend thing going with a woman of 33.
Learned A LOT from her.

As others have said - If you find her attractive, go for it.

 

[Plinco]

Go for it. It will be a learning experience for you.

I want to make it clear to you @Zimbabwe , I'm not saying that you should lower your standards. Keep your standards high. From what I've been reading in some of your more recent topics is that you want to discover your boundaries, which is great, but these are just learning experiences. The minute you start feeling a loss of self-respect, that's when you know it's time to leave. Hopefully you are learning that respect and self-respect are more important that sex.

 

[SW15]

Technically a 35-year-old could have a 17-year daughter. She could be a grandmother in less than 2 years!

That can happen and it does happen. It is happening less frequently though. 35 year olds today went through their formative years when feminism had already achieved mainstream status during 1990s/early 2000s. Feminism tends to see early motherhood as bad. More and more 35 year old women today are childless as compared to the 35 year olds of 2001. Also remember that 35 year olds today were 22 in 2008 when the economy crashed. The 1982-1988 birth cohort got the worst of The Great Recession as most of them were either graduating into a pile of shiit and couldn't get jobs or were getting low quality jobs. This set them back and they weren't starting families.

10 years older? Isn't a woman's face melted at 35?

Do what you want, but I wouldn't waste time with such an older woman.

If you're 25, the better play is to focus on 18-25 year olds. When you're around 40, it is quite difficult to get the attention of an 18-25 year old. Around then is the time to start considering a well preserved 35 year old.

The type of younger man that tends to have sex with women 10+ years older is a man struggling with women his own age.

 

[2Rocky]

If you're 25, the better play is to focus on 18-25 year olds. When you're around 40, it is quite difficult to get the attention of an 18-25 year old. Around then is the time to start considering a well preserved 35 year old.

The type of younger man that tends to have sex with women 10+ years older is a man struggling with women his own age.

If you are 25, know that those 18-25 year olds are thinking "relationship"...at least 50-75% of them.

If it is a freshly divorced older woman, (25-35) especially if she has kids, a night out and some nookie is a nice change from the boring and unfulfilling marriage she left. (After the Mourning period) That, I think, is the real "**** Carousel" . The girl who married her HS or College sweetheart, had a kid and then that imploded in 5-10 years. They are on a rebound, until they get tired of it. A year or 2....some for 5. I've watched it. But they are very cautious about appearing to be "on the hunt" in public. Often because their Married friends are worried they will seduce their man,( who is bored in his marriage too). The ASD you hear about in older women is the one who have gotten tired of the CC, and are now back in Relationship mode.

Comfort-> Excitement-> Comfort is their cycle...


Zim, I don't see any issue with you seducing this woman who is making herself available to you . It is definitely a learning opportunity. don't stop recruiting younger players, and make her keep earning her starting spot. Sounds like she's just a Designated Hitter though....

 

[Macadellic]

Dating/sleeping with an older gal gives you the learning experience of being wet clay in her hands.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Older women are more forward because they subconsciously know they don’t have the value they used to have

 

[2Rocky]

Older women are more forward because they subconsciously know they don’t have the value they used to have

I tend to think that they cut through the BS....as long as there aren't social implications. Think of away from home, no one to see them let the guy in their room, in a big town where no one knows them..."The Convention Effect" . I've seen it first hand....

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I have this former coworker from my last job that got into contact with me over the weekend, wanted to know how i was doing and asked to "hang out together" because she wants to start being social again after the lockdown we had in Sydney.

This woman is 10 years older and recently divorced, is it normal for Older women to be this forward? She's also asked if I have a girlfriend.

I agreed to the meetup but she gave no concrete date, I'm guessing she wants me to take the lead at this point?

Send location.

 

[SW15]

If you're 25, the better play is to focus on 18-25 year olds.

If you are 25, know that those 18-25 year olds are thinking "relationship"...at least 50-75% of them.

I think you mean that if you're a 25 year old man and you meet a 23 year old woman, the 23 year old woman in question will be looking for a relationship. I would agree with that. Also, at 25, a 23 year old woman is an expected catch.

If it is a freshly divorced older woman, (25-35) especially if she has kids, a night out and some nookie is a nice change from the boring and unfulfilling marriage she left. (After the Mourning period) That, I think, is the real "**** Carousel" . The girl who married her HS or College sweetheart, had a kid and then that imploded in 5-10 years.

It's rare to meet a woman who is divorced at ages 25-29. I only remember it happening once to me. I moved to a new city at age 28 and a date I had in the early dates in my new city was a woman who was 28-29 and divorced. I met her through Meetup. She was childless. In my 30s, I recall 2 times where I had dates with women 30-35 who had a divorce to their names. Both were "one date, no sex, no second date" type dates. I'm an older Millennial and have been mainly dating Millennials. Millennials do have lower marriage rates. This might help explain why I've mostly been on dates with never married and childless women.

My closest friend married his college sweetheart. They are mid-30s and it has yet to implode. 10+ years. It still could. 10 years is a fairly typical point for relationship implosion. A high school or college sweetheart relationship that resulted in a marriage experiencing an implosion in 5 years seems short to me.

They are on a rebound, until they get tired of it. A year or 2....some for 5. I've watched it. But they are very cautious about appearing to be "on the hunt" in public. Often because their Married friends are worried they will seduce their man,( who is bored in his marriage too). The ASD you hear about in older women is the one who have gotten tired of the CC, and are now back in Relationship mode.

Comfort-> Excitement-> Comfort is their cycle...

This all makes sense.

 

[3AM]

There are a few things to consider here. Mind you I skim read the posts so not sure if other guys are going to say the same thing.

1. Divorced and 10 years older. She is looking for a quick lay.
2. Older women are often more aggressive and straight forward. Although they still attempt to maintain there femininity. (Submission)
3. You should be approaching all women at this stage the same. This is a rinse and repeat, if you know what you are doing.

Whether you are OLD, cold approach, or this former co-worker, it's all the same when they are texting and/or calling you. You have the control because they have interest in you. You can be dominant showing leadership and cool at the same time. Have an abundance mentality. Set a date, time, and place and don't pay it any more mind. Get on with your business.

All dating situations should fall into the above paragraph to some degree or another. Setting up the date is the easy part. It's the before the date and during that can derail things, in my experience.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Another Update: Went on the date no hassles, she showed up a bit earlier than i expected ( i normally arrive earlier to sus the place out before dates)

During the date we chat, she asked if i was still single and we talked about past relationships. During the conversation i could see hot young women all over the place. I honestly felt a little resentful that I had to date an older woman and not one of them. After our coffee she asked what i wanted to do (i just wanted to go home since the weather was hot).

She really seemed like she wanted a relationship with me, she asked me what type of girls i like. I made out with her after i walked her to the car. If i wanted i could of had sex with her but clearly she wants a relationship and I feel like i need to start going after higher caliber women after these past few weeks.

She started texting me about meeting up after Christmas (i know she expects me to organise it again)

 

[Who Dares Win]

Another Update: Went on the date no hassles, she showed up a bit earlier than i expected ( i normally arrive earlier to sus the place out before dates)

During the date we chat, she asked if i was still single and we talked about past relationships. During the conversation i could see hot young women all over the place. I honestly felt a little resentful that I had to date an older woman and not one of them. After our coffee she asked what i wanted to do (i just wanted to go home since the weather was hot).

She really seemed like she wanted a relationship with me, she asked me what type of girls i like. I made out with her after i walked her to the car. If i wanted i could of had sex with her but clearly she wants a relationship and I feel like i need to start going after higher caliber women after these past few weeks.

She started texting me about meeting up after Christmas (i know she expects me to organise it again)

Thats what married women feel when they are out with their husbands and they see chads around either with friends of with other women...thats why at some point they feel anger toward themselves then rapidly redirect it toward the poor bastard.

 

[2Rocky]

Another Update: Went on the date no hassles, she showed up a bit earlier than i expected ( i normally arrive earlier to sus the place out before dates)

During the date we chat, she asked if i was still single and we talked about past relationships. During the conversation i could see hot young women all over the place. I honestly felt a little resentful that I had to date an older woman and not one of them. After our coffee she asked what i wanted to do (i just wanted to go home since the weather was hot).

She really seemed like she wanted a relationship with me, she asked me what type of girls i like. I made out with her after i walked her to the car. If i wanted i could of had sex with her but clearly she wants a relationship and I feel like i need to start going after higher caliber women after these past few weeks.

She started texting me about meeting up after Christmas (i know she expects me to organise it again)

Rule of thumb...Please don't date women you wouldn't sleep with. It strings them along thinking a relationship is the reason you are holding off from knowing them in a carnal sense. All women are looking for a relationship. It is UP TO YOU TO DEFINE THAT. Whether that is meeting every couple of weekends to have sex, or go to lunch and talk about your favorite soap operas.

By meeting up with her and not consummating the deal you are going to make it harder to keep it casual. Sometimes her saying she is looking for a relationship is her little ASD against feeling like a booty call.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Rule of thumb...Please don't date women you wouldn't sleep with. It strings them along thinking a relationship is the reason you are holding off from knowing them in a carnal sense.

This is a perfect example of why I don't listen to your advice. You care so much about women's feelings, that I don't believe you were ever a don juan. It reeks of beta male nice guy.