How would you handle this kind of woman?

[Sebastian0001]

First of all, great advice on here and thanks to all!

I've been dating this girl for a few dates and so far we have not gone further than make-outs. The advice people have given here to increase sexual inuendo and sexual tension has worked great in general for me with women in the past, but not as effective with this woman. For example, we had an inside joke where we made a bet and the loser would have to do a dance or like a music video routine for the other person (really just a joke and not actually going to do it). But, she happened to choose a dance and sent it to me where one where a guy strips in the middle of the video so i joked to her that she only chose the video bc she wanted me to strip for her and then i teased her that "why even pretend u want the dance if u just want a specific "part" of the video?" and then i said no pun intended. She laughed but that was it. Then she said "OMG I didn't see the full video so didn't know that part was in it so I will choose another one" and then i continued along a little further with the joke but she just put all these emojis like embarrassed emoji and red face emoji and irritated emoji. Another time we were out and she said she liked the texture of something because its "nice and hard" and so I was being light hearted and said oh i bet you do like it nice and hard, don't you? And then i laughed and her face got a bit embarrassed and then she just laughed and that was it.

How to handle this and get beyond the make-outs? I feel like some will say just let her go and she's not worth it if she is not ready to have sex but I've had plenty of hookups so I am not necessarily just after that. I think its cool to have a girl with intelligence and personality too and she has a lot of intelligence and i like her personality overall (although not when it comes to the teasing parts like these examples). I think this girl would be good to date in general but I'd like to get things moving faster. I'm going to invite her to my place next weekend for dinner and wine so I will try again but it feels like I am having trouble getting past that make-out level. Is it possible that she just prefers to take it slow? Or maybe she is kind of asexual? Or maybe likes sex but conservative in the early going? How to break through? I do think her interest level in me is otherwise good as she was fully leaning in first for the make out we had and texted me a lot with pics she took from the night of me and how good i look in them. And she also usually tells me how great of a night she had with me after we go out. An other interesting note is that she mentioned she has been cheated on by a guy in her past.

 

[RangerMIke]

Too much communication over texting.

First I have to caveat my advice with this only applies to sane women (everything I say applies only to women that are not badly damaged). She is on the fence with you... she likes you, but she isn't at the point where she'll sleep with you. You have to let her decide this is what she wants, then it's obvious.

You are trying too hard to make something happen and you are going to chase her off. You need to be patient and not try too hard... make a date a week and stop texting between dates. Don't force innuendo and don't be so obvious about it. At this point she knows she has you if she wants you, so you are making it too easy for her.

You are too focused on this one woman, you need to back off and date more women. Keep dating women until you find one that wants you, then she'll make it easy and you really won't need advice.

 

[Bingo-Player]

She sounds bland I've been with a couple of these in my time they are boring as hell

Some girls are just not sexual.....they just don't get it

I bet any money if you actually managed to progress to sex she would be quiet as a mouse and only want to do missionary

 

[bat soup]

First of all, great advice on here and thanks to all!

I've been dating this girl for a few dates and so far we have not gone further than make-outs. The advice people have given here to increase sexual inuendo and sexual tension has worked great in general for me with women in the past, but not as effective with this woman. For example, we had an inside joke where we made a bet and the loser would have to do a dance or like a music video routine for the other person (really just a joke and not actually going to do it). But, she happened to choose a dance and sent it to me where one where a guy strips in the middle of the video so i joked to her that she only chose the video bc she wanted me to strip for her and then i teased her that "why even pretend u want the dance if u just want a specific "part" of the video?" and then i said no pun intended. She laughed but that was it. Then she said "OMG I didn't see the full video so didn't know that part was in it so I will choose another one" and then i continued along a little further with the joke but she just put all these emojis like embarrassed emoji and red face emoji and irritated emoji. Another time we were out and she said she liked the texture of something because its "nice and hard" and so I was being light hearted and said oh i bet you do like it nice and hard, don't you? And then i laughed and her face got a bit embarrassed and then she just laughed and that was it.

How to handle this and get beyond the make-outs? I feel like some will say just let her go and she's not worth it if she is not ready to have sex but I've had plenty of hookups so I am not necessarily just after that. I think its cool to have a girl with intelligence and personality too and she has a lot of intelligence and i like her personality overall (although not when it comes to the teasing parts like these examples). I think this girl would be good to date in general but I'd like to get things moving faster. I'm going to invite her to my place next weekend for dinner and wine so I will try again but it feels like I am having trouble getting past that make-out level. Is it possible that she just prefers to take it slow? Or maybe she is kind of asexual? Or maybe likes sex but conservative in the early going? How to break through? I do think her interest level in me is otherwise good as she was fully leaning in first for the make out we had and texted me a lot with pics she took from the night of me and how good i look in them. And she also usually tells me how great of a night she had with me after we go out. An other interesting note is that she mentioned she has been cheated on by a guy in her past.

Have you tried fingering?

 

[zinc4]

First of all, great advice on here and thanks to all!

I've been dating this girl for a few dates and so far we have not gone further than make-outs. The advice people have given here to increase sexual inuendo and sexual tension has worked great in general for me with women in the past, but not as effective with this woman. For example, we had an inside joke where we made a bet and the loser would have to do a dance or like a music video routine for the other person (really just a joke and not actually going to do it). But, she happened to choose a dance and sent it to me where one where a guy strips in the middle of the video so i joked to her that she only chose the video bc she wanted me to strip for her and then i teased her that "why even pretend u want the dance if u just want a specific "part" of the video?" and then i said no pun intended. She laughed but that was it. Then she said "OMG I didn't see the full video so didn't know that part was in it so I will choose another one" and then i continued along a little further with the joke but she just put all these emojis like embarrassed emoji and red face emoji and irritated emoji. Another time we were out and she said she liked the texture of something because its "nice and hard" and so I was being light hearted and said oh i bet you do like it nice and hard, don't you? And then i laughed and her face got a bit embarrassed and then she just laughed and that was it.

How to handle this and get beyond the make-outs? I feel like some will say just let her go and she's not worth it if she is not ready to have sex but I've had plenty of hookups so I am not necessarily just after that. I think its cool to have a girl with intelligence and personality too and she has a lot of intelligence and i like her personality overall (although not when it comes to the teasing parts like these examples). I think this girl would be good to date in general but I'd like to get things moving faster. I'm going to invite her to my place next weekend for dinner and wine so I will try again but it feels like I am having trouble getting past that make-out level. Is it possible that she just prefers to take it slow? Or maybe she is kind of asexual? Or maybe likes sex but conservative in the early going? How to break through? I do think her interest level in me is otherwise good as she was fully leaning in first for the make out we had and texted me a lot with pics she took from the night of me and how good i look in them. And she also usually tells me how great of a night she had with me after we go out. An other interesting note is that she mentioned she has been cheated on by a guy in her past.

Hmmm i have dealt with a few women like this. She may be a bit on the shy side or scared of getting PND. Or....her IL could just be too low still. I don't think so though based on your description.

Two ways to break her:

Get her over for dinner....while making out play with her breasts a lot keep persisting while kissing her neck and start to venture down with your hand as well especially if she is moaning. She will probably say stop or no multiple times. But she will no doubt be getting wet if she is even somewhat attracted to you.

If she makes a final no not now statement call her out and say what are you so scared of lol? Your tone of voice is everything when you say this though. Say it in a lighthearted teasing way. She will probably say she is not scared blah blah....comes down to her either being untrusting of you that you might pnd her like the last guy did or the ex who cheated on her she is shy and slow mover. You need to make her laugh about all of this and tease her....this builds up comfort. Then right after turn it up a notch with the foreplay and put her hand on your ____ and repeat then escalate to taking off her pants. Once again be playful about it though. Not overly forceful alnost like you are just teasing your motions before you do them.

She will either fold or retreat. They usually fold though if you manage to make her laugh about it. You have to be very aggressive but at the same time very playful about it. Or otherwise she will be scared.

The other method is to jist start withdrawing attention from her and let her chase you then go for the lay. Id try option 1 first. I win a lot of these battles if will though then always end up dumping them shortly later ha. For this reason, I completely understand why some of them play these difficult games at times.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

@Sebastian0001
My approach would be similar to what @RangerMIke described, except I'd take it a step further and not escalate in person anymore, just to be unpredictable and test her a bit. I'd go out with her simply to meet other people/have a good time. No more innuendos, no more kino, no more initiating kisses. If you're serious about not just hooking up then have a good time in the moment without providing sexual tension and see if it's actually fun with her.

You might be able to slam if you keep bugging her about it the way you have been, but there's a higher chance she'll resent you for it if it happens, and a higher chance it'll suck. it's predictable and self deprecating at a point. You want her to be making it easy for you, so when she's on the fence simply go back to being playful and having a good time in the moment regardless of whether anything happens, even regardless of whether she leaves at any moment. You might find that she's not as compatible as you first thought.

Personally I'm attracted to women with more self confidence. The angry emojis and embarrassment you described would make me feel like more of a friend, so that's how I'd treat her. If she responds negatively to that rather than proving she deserves my sexual energy then it's game over for her.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Stop texting

 

[Modern Man Advice]

First of all, great advice on here and thanks to all!

I've been dating this girl for a few dates and so far we have not gone further than make-outs. The advice people have given here to increase sexual inuendo and sexual tension has worked great in general for me with women in the past, but not as effective with this woman. For example, we had an inside joke where we made a bet and the loser would have to do a dance or like a music video routine for the other person (really just a joke and not actually going to do it). But, she happened to choose a dance and sent it to me where one where a guy strips in the middle of the video so i joked to her that she only chose the video bc she wanted me to strip for her and then i teased her that "why even pretend u want the dance if u just want a specific "part" of the video?" and then i said no pun intended. She laughed but that was it. Then she said "OMG I didn't see the full video so didn't know that part was in it so I will choose another one" and then i continued along a little further with the joke but she just put all these emojis like embarrassed emoji and red face emoji and irritated emoji. Another time we were out and she said she liked the texture of something because its "nice and hard" and so I was being light hearted and said oh i bet you do like it nice and hard, don't you? And then i laughed and her face got a bit embarrassed and then she just laughed and that was it.

How to handle this and get beyond the make-outs? I feel like some will say just let her go and she's not worth it if she is not ready to have sex but I've had plenty of hookups so I am not necessarily just after that. I think its cool to have a girl with intelligence and personality too and she has a lot of intelligence and i like her personality overall (although not when it comes to the teasing parts like these examples). I think this girl would be good to date in general but I'd like to get things moving faster. I'm going to invite her to my place next weekend for dinner and wine so I will try again but it feels like I am having trouble getting past that make-out level. Is it possible that she just prefers to take it slow? Or maybe she is kind of asexual? Or maybe likes sex but conservative in the early going? How to break through? I do think her interest level in me is otherwise good as she was fully leaning in first for the make out we had and texted me a lot with pics she took from the night of me and how good i look in them. And she also usually tells me how great of a night she had with me after we go out. An other interesting note is that she mentioned she has been cheated on by a guy in her past.

Men shouldn't overthink sexuality.

It is not taboo or a mystery. If a girl is genuinely into you, she will submit. And viceversa.

Next time you hang out be intentional about the environment. Secure a safe and private place. When you are making out, make sure you touch her in the right places (neck, collar bone, hip and lowerback) without getting super handy. After a bit of good kino slowly escalate and go for second base, if she refuses there is your answer. Don't force it.

If a girl genuinely desires you, you will feel it, you wont overanalyze it, it will simply just happen organically.

Whatever you do, enjoy yourself.

Keep us updated.


Modern Man Advice

 

[Macadellic]

In my experience this type of gal wants “something serious” bf/gf title LTR and she will control the relationship.

With time I have found not to like these type and have felt a bit “trapped.”

Please remember who’s frame you are operating in and if in the beginning you are in her frame than you will remain in her frame as the relationship progresses.

Yes, she will open up to you sexually but it will be on her time and at her pace.

I just say no thank you to that now but it’s not about me it’s about you so here’s my advice.

Go on a travel trip together. You will get to know her more since you’ll be driving/flying together and you’ll be sharing an AirBnB together. On this trip you want to see for yourself if you want to be with this gal in a LTR.

Also, travel sex is the easiest because travel sex “doesn’t count.”

This is universal law amongst women.

 

[BadBoy89]

How to handle this and get beyond the make-outs?
Is it possible that she just prefers to take it slow?
Or maybe she is kind of asexual?
Or maybe likes sex but conservative in the early going?
How to break through?

Are you sure you are 41 and not 14?

 

[devilkingx2]

All you should need to get a girl to have sex with you once you've built a reasonable amount of attraction and comfort is alcohol and escalation. Try getting her more drunk and trying to make her more horny.

If that doesn't work, then you need to evaluate what kind of girl she is (is she the kind of good girl who believably takes things slow? Or is she probably just not into you/playing you/has issues only a therapist or pharmacist could resolve.)

 

[BeExcellent]

Too much communication over texting.

First I have to caveat my advice with this only applies to sane women (everything I say applies only to women that are not badly damaged). She is on the fence with you... she likes you, but she isn't at the point where she'll sleep with you. You have to let her decide this is what she wants, then it's obvious.

You are trying too hard to make something happen and you are going to chase her off. You need to be patient and not try too hard... make a date a week and stop texting between dates. Don't force innuendo and don't be so obvious about it. At this point she knows she has you if she wants you, so you are making it too easy for her.

You are too focused on this one woman, you need to back off and date more women. Keep dating women until you find one that wants you, then she'll make it easy and you really won't need advice.

Advice from the old lady:

Agree 100% with Ranger. Quit applying pressure & relax or you’ll blow it. Also less is more in the communication department. Let her wonder about where you are & what you are doing.

She knows you want sex…Duh.

Be cool & less available. See Ranger’s comments above.

Cheers