Question for very attractive dudes

[Francis]

not true, the hotter girls are the ones that have their pick of the litter and can get an alpha male to commit to them. They are less likely to be into causal sex, OLD etc they usually find a good provider at a young age and stay in a relationship for years on end. Theyre often with their first BF from Univeristy or high school

This hasn't been the case in any of the areas I've lived in (same state). The exceptionally attractive girls and guys are usually single because people either can't tolerate them, don't trust them, or they're not faithful. But they usually don't care (for long) because they receive attention constantly and all it takes to find a willing partner is to leave the house. They're on my social media and if they are taken (which is rare and doesn't last) it's with a less attractive person. Status is very important to them, and no one wants an annoying, shallow person clogging their feed or being around their friends. A lot of these hot girls are still hanging out at the bars and attention whoring on social media even at 40 years old. Back in the day they were mostly found at parties. But they still look pretty damn good. Compared to others, they are very immature. I'd be willing to bet that most of the guys still bang them even if they're taken. Almost all of the girls and only a few of the guys have children -- some girls have quite a lot. But there is no guy seen with them.

These good looking alpha males as you call them pump and dump quickly. I used to be in the same friend group as these people and saw it happen. ****, I still see it happen on social media. A guy will compliment her on her pictures for a while (since they post them every single day), make her feel all special, then hook up and never talk to her again. The girl will start posting quotes about being used and how they want this and that but can never find it. All this talk about not giving a **** and paying them no attention doesn't match what I've seen women respond to. They love attention, compliments, being special, and getting all romantic, but from the right guy. I haven't seen any of the hot girls get involved with or excited over an above average or lower guy in all the years I've known people. A lot of the good looking guys that they crush on are sweet talkers. They just move incredibly fast to get what they want then bail, which is probably why women complain that all men are jerks. They pull a bait & switch and some do lead the girl on. I remember back in the day a best friend had more than a few girls come by in confusion (but not really anger) because they were led to believe there would be more. I'm guessing it's because he said there would be. But when women complain, it's about this specific type of man, since others might as well not exist.

The difference between these guys and a lot of others (who over-analyze and try to strategize everything) is that they took action. They just went for it and didn't give a ****. And they did it fast, when the iron was hot. They'd see a girl was checking them out or acting flirty and girly, and they'd make a move. Or they just saw a hot girl and complimented her first. There was no real fear or nervousness, especially in regards to bringing up the topic of sex. I remember one time I brought a hot girl over to a friend's house, and one of the first things he did was ask if she was down for a foursome (with his girl & us). She declined but that's how he was, and he got laid all the time. A different time he was with another friend and just started talking about having a threesome and how awesome it is for the girl when she's in this or that position, and they ended up having one that night. *All parties involved were exceptionally attractive.

But no one ever wanted a relationship with a hot girl, and those that did get involved (like my dumb ass at the time) regretted it because of their high maintenance, annoying attitudes, cheating, etc. And they very much were into casual sex especially in the younger years. But they pretty much wanted it all on demand, so you can't say they just wanted casual sex. No matter what they got, they weren't satisfied and always complained. And they used guys like you wouldn't believe and always played the victim when they couldn't get their way. There was a lot of drama surrounding them and guys would always message them and so on. It honestly wasn't worth it. But then again, a lot of the guys were the same way.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

This hasn't been the case in any of the areas I've lived in (same state). The exceptionally attractive girls and guys are usually single because people either can't tolerate them, don't trust them, or they're not faithful. But they usually don't care (for long) because they receive attention constantly and all it takes to find a willing partner is to leave the house. They're on my social media and if they are taken (which is rare and doesn't last) it's with a less attractive person. Status is very important to them, and no one wants an annoying, shallow person clogging their feed or being around their friends. A lot of these hot girls are still hanging out at the bars and attention whoring on social media even at 40 years old. Back in the day they were mostly found at parties. But they still look pretty damn good. Compared to others, they are very immature. I'd be willing to bet that most of the guys still bang them even if they're taken. Almost all of the girls and only a few of the guys have children -- some girls have quite a lot. But there is no guy seen with them.

These good looking alpha males as you call them pump and dump quickly. I used to be in the same friend group as these people and saw it happen. ****, I still see it happen on social media. A guy will compliment her on her pictures for a while (since they post them every single day), make her feel all special, then hook up and never talk to her again. The girl will start posting quotes about being used and how they want this and that but can never find it. All this talk about not giving a **** and paying them no attention doesn't match what I've seen women respond to. They love attention, compliments, being special, and getting all romantic, but from the right guy. I haven't seen any of the hot girls get involved with or excited over an above average or lower guy in all the years I've known people. A lot of the good looking guys that they crush on are sweet talkers. They just move incredibly fast to get what they want then bail, which is probably why women complain that all men are jerks. They pull a bait & switch and some do lead the girl on. I remember back in the day a best friend had more than a few girls come by in confusion (but not really anger) because they were led to believe there would be more. I'm guessing it's because he said there would be. But when women complain, it's about this specific type of man, since others might as well not exist.

The difference between these guys and a lot of others (who over-analyze and try to strategize everything) is that they took action. They just went for it and didn't give a ****. And they did it fast, when the iron was hot. They'd see a girl was checking them out or acting flirty and girly, and they'd make a move. Or they just saw a hot girl and complimented her first. There was no real fear or nervousness, especially in regards to bringing up the topic of sex. I remember one time I brought a hot girl over to a friend's house, and one of the first things he did was ask if she was down for a foursome (with his girl & us). She declined but that's how he was, and he got laid all the time. A different time he was with another friend and just started talking about having a threesome and how awesome it is for the girl when she's in this or that position, and they ended up having one that night. *All parties involved were exceptionally attractive.

But no one ever wanted a relationship with a hot girl, and those that did get involved (like my dumb ass at the time) regretted it because of their high maintenance, annoying attitudes, cheating, etc. And they very much were into casual sex especially in the younger years. But they pretty much wanted it all on demand, so you can't say they just wanted casual sex. No matter what they got, they weren't satisfied and always complained. And they used guys like you wouldn't believe and always played the victim when they couldn't get their way. There was a lot of drama surrounding them and guys would always message them and so on. It honestly wasn't worth it. But then again, a lot of the guys were the same way.

Interesting post, I’ll respond shortly but can you clarify what you mean by ‘I haven't seen any of the hot girls get involved with or excited over an above average or lower guy in all the years I've known people.’ This doesn’t make sense

 

[SmoothSmooth]

This hasn't been the case in any of the areas I've lived in (same state). The exceptionally attractive girls and guys are usually single because people either can't tolerate them, don't trust them, or they're not faithful. But they usually don't care (for long) because they receive attention constantly and all it takes to find a willing partner is to leave the house. They're on my social media and if they are taken (which is rare and doesn't last) it's with a less attractive person. Status is very important to them, and no one wants an annoying, shallow person clogging their feed or being around their friends. A lot of these hot girls are still hanging out at the bars and attention whoring on social media even at 40 years old. Back in the day they were mostly found at parties. But they still look pretty damn good. Compared to others, they are very immature. I'd be willing to bet that most of the guys still bang them even if they're taken. Almost all of the girls and only a few of the guys have children -- some girls have quite a lot. But there is no guy seen with them.

These good looking alpha males as you call them pump and dump quickly. I used to be in the same friend group as these people and saw it happen. ****, I still see it happen on social media. A guy will compliment her on her pictures for a while (since they post them every single day), make her feel all special, then hook up and never talk to her again. The girl will start posting quotes about being used and how they want this and that but can never find it. All this talk about not giving a **** and paying them no attention doesn't match what I've seen women respond to. They love attention, compliments, being special, and getting all romantic, but from the right guy. I haven't seen any of the hot girls get involved with or excited over an above average or lower guy in all the years I've known people. A lot of the good looking guys that they crush on are sweet talkers. They just move incredibly fast to get what they want then bail, which is probably why women complain that all men are jerks. They pull a bait & switch and some do lead the girl on. I remember back in the day a best friend had more than a few girls come by in confusion (but not really anger) because they were led to believe there would be more. I'm guessing it's because he said there would be. But when women complain, it's about this specific type of man, since others might as well not exist.

The difference between these guys and a lot of others (who over-analyze and try to strategize everything) is that they took action. They just went for it and didn't give a ****. And they did it fast, when the iron was hot. They'd see a girl was checking them out or acting flirty and girly, and they'd make a move. Or they just saw a hot girl and complimented her first. There was no real fear or nervousness, especially in regards to bringing up the topic of sex. I remember one time I brought a hot girl over to a friend's house, and one of the first things he did was ask if she was down for a foursome (with his girl & us). She declined but that's how he was, and he got laid all the time. A different time he was with another friend and just started talking about having a threesome and how awesome it is for the girl when she's in this or that position, and they ended up having one that night. *All parties involved were exceptionally attractive.

But no one ever wanted a relationship with a hot girl, and those that did get involved (like my dumb ass at the time) regretted it because of their high maintenance, annoying attitudes, cheating, etc. And they very much were into casual sex especially in the younger years. But they pretty much wanted it all on demand, so you can't say they just wanted casual sex. No matter what they got, they weren't satisfied and always complained. And they used guys like you wouldn't believe and always played the victim when they couldn't get their way. There was a lot of drama surrounding them and guys would always message them and so on. It honestly wasn't worth it. But then again, a lot of the guys were the same way.

My first hand experience is that pretty and confident women generally like the chase and anxiety of being with someone ‘out of their league’. There are some girls with really low self esteem that go for high smv guys that ‘comment all over their social media’ and give them tons of attention as you mention - and therefore attract scenarios that get them used for pump and dump or threesomes, further confirming and lowering their self esteem. Only someone with low self esteem would fall into that cycle. Most girls however would see through that, and a scenario like that would only work if the guy is much more attractive than the girl. I agree hot girls care about status, as you mention, which is why they therefore are looking for a desired boyfriend (the ultimate status trophy), not a pump and dump.
Humans are not wired to value things which come easy.

Pump and dump for women is like fapping for men, it leaves you feeling drained and worse after and isn’t seen as an accomplishment.

You mention hot girls aged 40 being at bars etc, but a girl aged 40 isn’t considered high smv. Age 18-24 is what I’m talking about.

I am an objectively high smv guy. Even though I open the girls first 90% of the time, Ive never attracted a woman that didn’t require me to play ‘hard to get’ on some level at the start (after opening). Every successful seduction has followed the exact same pattern. I open them indirectly with an observation and get an initial ‘feeler’ from them - either they are warm/receptive/asking me questions back or they are cold. If they are warm, I get the number/social media and text very sparingly (if it’s social circle/at work, I won’t go for the number straight away. I will just go about my day and let them open me next time we meet). At some point in the text convo they will **** test me by taking a few days to reply or flaking a date etc. I act busy/don’t chase and they reappear and we schedule a date. I continue the aloof behaviour, Replying later, giving no validation/compliments, taking it slow/being mysterious. On the date, they do most of the talking and it’s easy to escalate from there. We kiss during the first date and they text first afterwards to thank me. From the point onwards, the ball is in my court.

 

[Francis]

Interesting post, I’ll respond shortly but can you clarify what you mean by ‘I haven't seen any of the hot girls get involved with or excited over an above average or lower guy in all the years I've known people.’ This doesn’t make sense

On a scale of attractiveness, the hot girls would hook up with guys they generally had a crush on. If a guy was above average or lower, he usually didn't get any action from them. Some of the guys would take them out and do all these things, whereas one of the "hot" guys would just swoop in and bang them without much effort. There was a lot of casual hanging out and getting drunk in semi-parties within friend groups and so on.

It's hard to say what the girls actually wanted (other than the entire universe on a platter), but it generally revolved around whoever they thought was "hot". Because of their double speak and lies to uphold their status, they would never just say they wanted sex. But most of everything they did implied that they did. I personally think it could've been either sex or a relationship, but they were ok if it wasn't serious. They just liked being around "hot" guys.

 

[Francis]

You mention hot girls aged 40 being at bars etc, but a girl aged 40 isn’t considered high smv. Age 18-24 is what I’m talking about.

This is those same girls when they were 18-28 (they are still pretty hot at 28) and how they are now in their 40s. They are still hanging around in bars and attention whoring on social media. These aren't random 40 year old girls.

But I think you are wrong, some of these girls are still stunning at 40. Someone doesn't just stop being gorgeous because they're 40. And on the whole, I'm not attracted to 40+ like most guys, but some of them are still hot for sure.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Before I dated my ex husband I dated a very very attractive male model. He did runway in Milan, Italy, did print ads (fragrance as well as fashion) and catalog (he was featured in Harold’s as an example.) He stood 6’4” with a trim muscular & vascular build, had jet black hair, a strong jaw & brow line and ice blue eyes. Five o’clock shadow by 3pm each day. Beautiful white even teeth & good full lips. Intimidatingly handsome. Women launched themselves at him constantly and he was SO over it.

I really liked the man who lived inside that beautiful package. He was erudite, funny, thoughtful, playful & generous. He was also the single most neurotic and insecure man imaginable. He could wear Versace or Gucci high fashion straight out of GQ and pull that off effortlessly and yet he struggled with this same issue, especially after he made some money. Girls wanted to be seen with him and spoiled by him…they were typically using him and didn’t care about him as a person.

I left him because I thought he was too much of a workaholic to sustain a relationship. He was a car dealer/trader for his main business and would work literally 6am to midnight. He was too embarrassed and worried what I thought to disclose that he was digging out from near foreclosure on his home. I learned that from a friend years later after he died that he liked me a tremendous amount but thought I would not have accepted him in that dire straight. All I saw was a man who I really liked who didn’t seem to have time for me.

He told me himself years later that he wished things had been different. I ran into him at an airport randomly. He said all the women were after his looks or his money or both. It broke my heart. He was a cool guy.

 

[Zimbabwe]

I've had two women tell me on dates that I'm very attractive but very socially awkward.

I've never really had a relationship last very long since I don't have a very interesting personality, i get tons of dates but its rare to have a relationship last longer then a month.

Incels say looks are everything but if that were the case i wouldn't have so many failed relationships.

I have BPD so it's hard for me to maintain a long term relationship or even a friendship, very few people are willing to tolerate me.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

Advice from the old lady:

Before I dated my ex husband I dated a very very attractive male model. He did runway in Milan, Italy, did print ads (fragrance as well as fashion) and catalog (he was featured in Harold’s as an example.) He stood 6’4” with a trim muscular & vascular build, had jet black hair, a strong jaw & brow line and ice blue eyes. Five o’clock shadow by 3pm each day. Beautiful white even teeth & good full lips. Intimidatingly handsome. Women launched themselves at him constantly and he was SO over it.

I really liked the man who lived inside that beautiful package. He was erudite, funny, thoughtful, playful & generous. He was also the single most neurotic and insecure man imaginable. He could wear Versace or Gucci high fashion straight out of GQ and pull that off effortlessly and yet he struggled with this same issue, especially after he made some money. Girls wanted to be seen with him and spoiled by him…they were typically using him and didn’t care about him as a person.

I left him because I thought he was too much of a workaholic to sustain a relationship. He was a car dealer/trader for his main business and would work literally 6am to midnight. He was too embarrassed and worried what I thought to disclose that he was digging out from near foreclosure on his home. I learned that from a friend years later after he died that he liked me a tremendous amount but thought I would not have accepted him in that dire straight. All I saw was a man who I really liked who didn’t seem to have time for me.

He told me himself years later that he wished things had been different. I ran into him at an airport randomly. He said all the women were after his looks or his money or both. It broke my heart. He was a cool guy.

How did he pass away if I may ask?

 

[darksprezzatura]

I'm often sad and lonely because most women just consider me a piece of meat to ride.

Part of me thinks they'd be willing to be more if I put myself out there, but I'm not sure if I really want that for real.

It's creepy when wherever I go, girls eye me, try to make eye contact. Single, married, w a guy everyone.

Earlier it used to be awesome and fed my narcissism but now I try to avoid looking at random women altogether just so I don't get creeped out at them staring at me.

 

[BeExcellent]

How did he pass away if I may ask?

Sadly he got involved in the fast life. He became so disconnected from himself and all the people trying to use him that he slipped into drugs to numb it all. He died one night from a speedball, a deadly combination of cocaine & heroin. I heard about it a few years after the fact. It broke my heart to hear it. He was such an intelligent, funny, sweet man inside that devastatingly handsome package. He felt so isolated. We lost touch along the way obviously but I was married then & raising babies. Just so sad.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

How do you handle it when chicks are not really into you but just stay with you because you're hot? How do you filter them out?

There's an underlying concern with this question...

As others have mentioned, this is a good problem to have. You should be oozing with self love and confidence, to the point that casual flings are fun and you're not pressuring women for commitment of any kind. Let the flings occur naturally and when you happen to be hanging out with one woman more than the others, you can consider a STR or LTR if you sense that'd she'd agree instantly.

Expecting women to coddle you or court you is backwards. Your mother coddled you as a child, but now you're a man, those young days are long gone, and to want them back is reverting to a child like mindset out of fear of failure or competition or whatever. You're in a jungle and women want to satisfy their primal urges with you, anything more takes time to develop and ideally you're not thinking about anything more, at least not initially.

To a man with many options and a fulfilling life, starting a family or even exclusivity is typically a massive compromise. Ideally the woman he happens to be sleeping with the most will drop very obvious IOIs about exclusivity and showing off how low maintenance she is, practically opening the door for him to walk through. And ideally a man doesn't even consider this until her sweetness convinces him that it's a great idea. He needs to think she'll be a valuable addition to his life, and so she shows that she's happily willing to play the part.

A man wanting this compromise before meeting a woman is a sign of stagnation and lack of accountability in his own life. If a man was being accountable, he would fine tune his life until he was extremely fulfilled without a woman, yet he would provide himself many many options for lays and networking with women. Ideally he sees women as an optional cherry on top of what is otherwise an amazing sundae of a life that he enjoys.

This is what I meant by 'underlying concern'. What kind of man wants to go out of his way for exclusivity and/or children before a compatible person naturally comes into the picture? Unless there's some religious or bloodline obligations, it's putting the cart before the horse and an emotional cop out. Create the conditions for and enjoy casual relations until a partner naturally sticks. Any exclusivity or deeper connections will manifest effortlessly as a result of spending time with the one you enjoy the most.

If you're asking how to filter out women that you don't find appealing, simply shift your attention away from them. I can't imagine that's what you were actually asking though.

 

[Francis]

My first hand experience is that pretty and confident women generally like the chase and anxiety of being with someone ‘out of their league’. There are some girls with really low self esteem that go for high smv guys that ‘comment all over their social media’ and give them tons of attention as you mention - and therefore attract scenarios that get them used for pump and dump or threesomes, further confirming and lowering their self esteem. Only someone with low self esteem would fall into that cycle.

I missed this part in the original comment you made, but I'd argue that women who get caught up in the chase and anxiety of someone being out of their league are the ones with the low self-esteem (or both). Why else would they tolerate someone's BS and give away all the control in order to prove that they're good enough -- only to never get there, because they specifically seek out those who don't want them and treat them poorly? They're in a constant state of anxiety over an emotional rollercoaster ride and view themselves as inferior because they love themselves? That makes absolutely no sense.

But these girls I'm referring to aren't inferior to the guys who make them feel special and so on. They're probably on the same level. The guys just don't want a relationship with them.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

I missed this part in the original comment you made, but I'd argue that women who get caught up in the chase and anxiety of someone being out of their league are the ones with the low self-esteem (or both). Why else would they tolerate someone's BS and give away all the control in order to prove that they're good enough -- only to never get there, because they specifically seek out those who don't want them and treat them poorly? They're in a constant state of anxiety over an emotional rollercoaster ride and view themselves as inferior because they love themselves? That makes absolutely no sense.

But these girls I'm referring to aren't inferior to the guys who make them feel special and so on. They're probably on the same level. The guys just don't want a relationship with them.

treat em mean keep em keen.
Game in 6 words
Sex on a biological level isn’t about emotional fulfilment, it’s about finding the ‘best option’.
The concept of emotional fulfilment only really got mixed in when the French crusaders promoted the concept of Romance.

The biological ‘best option’ isn’t based on social (constructed) merits (eg money)…but based on behavioural cues which our biology responds to (eg self esteem, vocal tone)

 

[BeExcellent]

And that crowd selects for the low self esteem women who will put up with unkind treatment. Women who are great partnership material simply won’t.

This is where the non ass hole man holds a distinct advantage. Kindness comes from strength as does vulnerability. Women who are emotionally healthy (the far and away best type to choose for marriage) seek this out in addition to desirability and leadership ability. To be a solid man is to be well rounded. That means some kindness and ability to emotionally connect and invest in addition to being sexy & masculine.

Ass hole game only gets you so far. And not with choice women.

Some ass hole is good; admirable even. But if you overdo it you are building resentment IF a girl stays. Resentment becomes contempt.

Contempt is the single biggest predictor of relationship failure.

 

[2Rocky]

Closest I've ever come to my good looks interfering with my life was in college when the Head of Security at the nightclub I worked the door at told me "Boy, you too damn pretty to be a bouncer". I was a good looking kid....

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Mostly how to tell.

"Letting".

It's a problem because I want someone who likes me and not just my body.

Not once has a women complimented me on anything other than physical. Not. Once. At this point. I don’t care.

 

[Velasco]

Not once has a women complimented me on anything other than physical. Not. Once. At this point. I don’t care

Total bs lol. I'm sure you've heard, "your so silly/charming" at least once before.

 

[Willie Naylor]

This is where the non ass hole man holds a distinct advantage. Kindness comes from strength as does vulnerability. Women who are emotionally healthy (the far and away best type to choose for marriage) seek this out in addition to desirability and leadership ability. To be a solid man is to be well rounded. That means some kindness and ability to emotionally connect and invest in addition to being sexy & masculine.

Ass hole game only gets you so far. And not with choice women.

True that. If a girl rejects me because I'm not enough of a bad boy for her, I'll walk her out the door myself.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Total bs lol. I'm sure you've heard, "your so silly/charming" at least once before.

Ok. I’ll grant you: ‘Your such a nice person’ by my ex-. You can guess how that turned out . And ‘you’re very charming’ recently, by a lesbian.

 

[hardboiled85]

I've been called everything from hot, sexy to gorgeous and receive looks every time I go out. When I was younger girls would whistle and yell and so on (for qualification to your question; sorry I can't post a pic due to school and an upcoming career).

You can tell who is only into you for sex when all they focus on is sexual topics and your body. They'll generally be the ones to bring up the topic of sex early on and talk about what they want to do with you. The focus will be on your looks, in relation to everything. Like being around a Paris Hilton who says "you're hot" all the time. They won't mention anything about your personality or anything else. Most of the time they won't want a relationship or even think along those lines. They might even be surprised that YOU want one, based on the assumption that you probably get a lot of action and so on. They will generally want an FWB type situation and the bolder ones will even say that's what they want. They usually aren't the loyal types (if any of them really are, lol).

Understand that all girls will like you because of your looks, and some might even be in denial about what they really want -- even to themselves. So at first it will be hard to decipher who's who. Most of them will probably have a crush and think you're the best thing ever, everything you do is perfect, head above the clouds and all that. But the ones who genuinely like you will say things like you're sweet, or a good catch, on top of you're attractive (and no, these aren't the kiss of death as it's commonly claimed). They'll also try to get to know you on a personal level better and focus more on the relationship route. Things that you can do together that you mentioned that you like in passing (which you might have thought of as no big deal; they hang onto every word). This isn't the same as being in the friend zone, so don't get all worried and assume they just want to be friends. Most girls won't hang around you or ask you questions and act all excited or (especially) touch you, give you compliments, remember everything you say, etc if they just want to be friends. The signs of disinterest will be clear when they just want to be friends. I never had a girl who just wanted to be friends who even acted like a real friend -- more like a way of them to feel superior by rejecting. They weren't kind, didn't give a damn about my interests, asked no questions, didn't want to hang out, acted like ****s, etc. Guys who aren't attractive generally don't have girls hanging around them and acting nice and doing favors. They're not acting this way because you're "nice" -- it's because you're hot in their eyes.

For those wondering why he wants someone who cares: it's probably because that's a greater challenge. When something comes so easy (like interest or sex), it's not as valued. But I've generally found that girls don't like you for you no matter if you're in high demand or not. They only like you because you're hot, or have social status, or money, or the usual. You can tell because once the infatuation and new exciting wears off, it's business as usual. Once you're on the other side you can see why hot girls act the way they do, because a lot of it is similar.

Believing what women say rather then belief from their actions...