I hit on my coworker, now what to do?

[andreihaha]

We celebrated at work yesterday, drank some champagne and stuff. Both me and this chick I've been working with for 5 years have been busting each other's nuts, kind of in a flirty way. I went and had some more to drink after work and started chatting a bit with her. Said something like "I owed you a coffee, how about a drink?" She didn't make a clear response, so I took it as a "no".

I consider her attractive and I'm feeling ready to get back into dating after a few months break, and she works on the other shift, so I see her at work 2-3 days/year. But this was probably a crappy idea. How do I fix this drunken mistake I've done?

 

[Willie Naylor]

We celebrated at work yesterday, drank some champagne and stuff. Both me and this chick I've been working with for 5 years have been busting each other's nuts, kind of in a flirty way. I went and had some more to drink after work and started chatting a bit with her. Said something like "I owed you a coffee, how about a drink?" She didn't make a clear response, so I took it as a "no".

I consider her attractive and I'm feeling ready to get back into dating after a few months break, and she works on the other shift, so I see her at work 2-3 days/year. But this was probably a crappy idea. How do I fix this drunken mistake I've done?

What was her exact response?

 

[Black Widow Void]

As someone that is king "foot in the mouth" I've learned that it's best to not bring things back up.

You never know. She might re-think things and reconsider. Even if she doesn't, the more time that passes, and the more nonchalant you appear, the easier it will be.

 

[andreihaha]

What was her exact response?

Let me try to translate it.

Me: Forgot about that coffee...
Her: Very bad of you
Her: 'cuz today I forgot my coffee at home, had too much luggage
Her: Had to drink champagne in the morning instead of coffee
Me: The time is not lost
Me: Champagne in the morning wasn't a problem for me
Her: It's wasn't for me either, can't lie, but a coffee would have also worked
Me: I'm only free in the evening the next few days, not a good time for coffee
Me: But I can offer in exchange a drink or a glass of wine
Her: Ehh, a glass of champagne in the morning next to the coffee works as well )
Me: That also works
Me: I think I'm getting a bit drunk, didn't understand that last sentence. I'm out drinking with a friend and some chick I haven't seen in 12 years is asking me if she can sleep at my place tonight. A lot going on in my head right now
Her: Well tell the girl if she can or not, if you have space for her, let her come, don't let her in the street on this weather )
Me: Are you taking her in?
Me: 'cuz I'm surely not doing that
Her: No thanks, she's not my friend
Me: Not mine either...
Her: Then tell her
Me: I told her, of course... a lot of weird people in this world
Her: Yeah..

#1 drunk texting is so stupid...uhh...I loathe myself
#2 the chat feels way different now that I'm sober
#3 I'll try not to share my thoughts about this, so I don't influence anyone's oppinion

Thanks a lot in advance for participating, mates!

 

[Willie Naylor]

Me: Champagne in the morning wasn't a problem for me
Her: It's wasn't for me either, can't lie, but a coffee would have also worked
Me: I'm only free in the evening the next few days, not a good time for coffee
Me: But I can offer in exchange a drink or a glass of wine
Her: Ehh, a glass of champagne in the morning next to the coffee works as well )
Me: That also works

#1 drunk texting is so stupid...uhh...I loathe myself
#2 the chat feels way different now that I'm sober
#3 I'll try not to share my thoughts about this, so I don't influence anyone's opinion

Lesson learned, but I wouldn't reach out to her with any sort of apology or explanation about this.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Next time just tell her you found this cool new bar downtown and tell her to come join you.

 

[manfrombelow]

We celebrated at work yesterday, drank some champagne and stuff. Both me and this chick I've been working with for 5 years have been busting each other's nuts, kind of in a flirty way. I went and had some more to drink after work and started chatting a bit with her. Said something like "I owed you a coffee, how about a drink?" She didn't make a clear response, so I took it as a "no".

I consider her attractive and I'm feeling ready to get back into dating after a few months break, and she works on the other shift, so I see her at work 2-3 days/year. But this was probably a crappy idea. How do I fix this drunken mistake I've done?

Buddy, workplace romance/sex is NEVER worth the price, which is tons of drama and BS (if you're lucky), or some sexual harassment complaint filed by her to HR when things get ugly (if you're not so lucky).

If I were you, I'd leave her the fvck alone, and use Tinder to find women.

Finally, like others have wisely advised, I would never bring this up again, nor I would try to explain or apologize or anything, I would just pretend that I had forgotten completely about it and never ever bring it up again with her.

 

[Glassguy]

1. Don't apologize
2. Give it a day or two and see if she reaches out since she obviously knows how to reach you through text.
3. If you don't hear from her, reach out to her in a day or two.....call her if you can....and invite her out.
You don't want her to think it was just the alcohol talking.

You are a seasoned vet. You know what to do

 

[andreihaha]

1. Don't apologize
2. Give it a day or two and see if she reaches out since she obviously knows how to reach you through text.
3. If you don't hear from her, reach out to her in a day or two.....call her if you can....and invite her out.
You don't want her to think it was just the alcohol talking.

You are a seasoned vet. You know what to do

Seems like everyone agrees that not reaching out and being unapologetic is the way to go, that's what I'll do.
At first I was like you, not wanting her to think it was just the alcohol talking, but honestly I don't care enough to keep pursuing her and make it more obvious that I find her attracted. Got better things to do. And if at some point she'll let me know she's interested and I will be too, we'll see. For now, it's back to business.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

HR itself is turning into a form of an arm of government. Fcked up

HR is there to serve the interests of the business, they interface with potential of lawsuits before ethics which is why this is such a bad idea.

Many, many women have tales of telling HR story about a higher up or executive, HR is on his side, again, business before ethics.

If you two are equals you WILL be railroaded at even the sheer mention of this behavior, to protect the investors, not her, lol....

In Human Resources, gossip is more reality than not

 

[biggoal]

Buddy, workplace romance/sex is NEVER worth the price, which is tons of drama and BS (if you're lucky), or some sexual harassment complaint filed by her to HR when things get ugly (if you're not so lucky).

If I were you, I'd leave her the fvck alone, and use Tinder to find women.

Finally, like others have wisely advised, I would never bring this up again, nor I would try to explain or apologize or anything, I would just pretend that I had forgotten completely about it and never ever bring it up again with her.

Tinder compared to meeting women in person, especially someone you already know is pure garbage.

I think it depends. If it's a bull sh*t job you don't care about, or like a part time job or a low end job you work while going to school then I'd say go for it. Who cares since it's a BS job. Now if you're making 100k a year then hell NO I wouldn't risk losing that good job over some HB7.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Once you realise that you’ve probably learned something new from a failed approach, you can clearly see that rejection and failure are absolutely necessary to succeed. No one succeeds on their first try, and if they did, they’d have no idea what they did right to duplicate it in the future. In order for you to be consistently good with women, you must be rejected enough times until you learn what
works for you and what doesn’t while shedding the fear of rejection that all humans are born with.

 

[Willie Naylor]

Once you realise that you’ve probably learned something new from a failed approach, you can clearly see that rejection and failure are absolutely necessary to succeed. No one succeeds on their first try, and if they did, they’d have no idea what they did right to duplicate it in the future. In order for you to be consistently good with women, you must be rejected enough times until you learn what
works for you and what doesn’t while shedding the fear of rejection that all humans are born with.

Good post, but I wouldn't say we're born with a fear of rejection.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Good post, but I wouldn't say we're born with a fear of rejection.

Rejection is a natural survival instinct we all have, too much of that instinct will lead to self esteem issues though. A lot of psychologists even recommend rejection therapy to deal with it.

Rejection isn't all that bad though, we learn a lot from it. If we succeeded, we wouldn't know what we did right nor would we know how to replicate it.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

That was a seriously strange text exchange

 

[Bokanovsky]

That was a seriously strange text exchange

I have to assume that this is an English translation and that the conversation makes more sense in the original language.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Tinder compared to meeting women in person, especially someone you already know is pure garbage.

I think it depends. If it's a bull sh*t job you don't care about, or like a part time job or a low end job you work while going to school then I'd say go for it. Who cares since it's a BS job. Now if you're making 100k a year then hell NO I wouldn't risk losing that good job over some HB7.

Sure, if you live in a town of 4,000 people with a median age of 67, like you do. Swipe apps only work in a big city/metro area.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Seems like everyone agrees that not reaching out and being unapologetic is the way to go, that's what I'll do.

ye don't do anything.
Hey you were a bit tipsy and so what?

Offering a drink doesn't actually mean anything...
If she interprets it the wrong way and/or how she does it is her problem, not yours.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Pretend it didn’t happen. Do nothing. Don’t bring it up again.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I have to assume that this is an English translation and that the conversation makes more sense in the original language.

I would really hope so