Best and worst places to meet women--in my opinion

[oc16]

I am 44, and this has been my experience

Best

1.) Your Social Circle---In a survey done in 2015, 39% of couples met this way. It also doesn't mean most people ended up meeting their best friend's cousin or sister and started dating. Usually, it's more tenuous than that. E.g. Years back, I met a gal who was a friend of a friend's girlfriends--friend. Tenuous, but still part of the social circle. I also think women tend to trust and feel the most comfortable around the men they meet in this setting. This would explain why you see quite a few mismatched couples when out in public (E.g. the female is a couple notches more attractive than the male)

2.) Work--I know they say "don't **** where you eat, but the odds are still way better than the bars/clubs and Online Dating. I don't advise dating a woman who works in the same department, but there is nothing wrong with dating a woman who works for the same company (albeit a different floor or building)

3.) Classes-A college class (if you are still in college), a continuing education class (e.g. cooking, Spanish) or gym class. You get to see the woman over and over again and you will have similar interests.

Worst

Bars/Clubs: I have been in the bar scene for 23 years and it generally does not work. You might get a hook up or one night stand and have a slim possibility of meeting a woman who is gf material. However, the odds are stacked against you since there are usually more men at these venues than females. The setting is also usually very loud and most women go there to look nice (to show off for other women) and go there to have fun (not to meet men). Women don't want to tell their friends/relatives they met the love of their life at a bar/club.

Online Dating/Speed dating/Singles Events The competition is brutal and a good chunk of the women are average and below average in looks (especially on match.com) It is not uncommon to be talking to an attractive woman online only to have her ghost you two to three messages in. Is it because you did something wrong? No, she is probably getting messages from 7 other guys at the same time and liked somebody else better.

I have not done too many singles events and accidentally showed up a couple of times at one of those "Lock and Key" events and it wasn't pretty.

I still think there is a stigma to paying a service to meet somebody.

The Gym Floor- I go to a LA Fitness. For every attractive woman out on the gym floor, there are about 5 dudes who are just as in good shape as you or better. They are also noticing the same women that you are noticing. These women will also be wearing earbuds/headphones 90% of the time)

Supermarket- I know others have said this is a decent spot, but it still seems very awkward. Let's say you are walking down the aisle and you briefly lock eyes and exchange smiles with an attractive woman. It's would be kind of awkward if you do an about face and follow her. Your only chance would be to get in the same checkout lane as her.

Running Races (5K's, etc.)--I have ran about 25 of these over the years and never had any luck other than some flirting with one woman at the starting line (never saw her again after that). Most people tend to run these races with their own clique of friends and don't socialize with anybody else.

Church- Never tried this route so maybe I shouldn't knock it. Where I live, most church goes are middle aged or seniors.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Is there a reason you neglected to mention the streets for daygame?

 

[corrector]

I totally agree with everything on here. With work, you sort of feel very "equal" with the girl since you are both being supported by the same organization and things tend to happen more organically there. College classes also have that you have that same goal in common. These environments you already have social proof and context.

In terms of the worst places, yeah, you've tried them all except churches. I can agree with you with churches is probably like what you wrote with "Running Races"...attractive women in church are already accounted for and have their own clique of friends and I tend to feel like a fish outside of water when it comes to meeting women inside church. That issue has even demotivated my mother from being excited about going to church herself as she used to have a hope that I might meet someone there.

So we both have now completed our exchange of hard luck stories and bad places to meet women. No job to meet women or school then we are just SOL incels.

 

[biggoal]

Good post.

I am 44, and this has been my experience

Best

1.) Your Social Circle---In a survey done in 2015, 39% of couples met this way. It also doesn't mean most people ended up meeting their best friend's cousin or sister and started dating. Usually, it's more tenuous than that. E.g. Years back, I met a gal who was a friend of a friend's girlfriends--friend. Tenuous, but still part of the social circle. I also think women tend to trust and feel the most comfortable around the men they meet in this setting. This would explain why you see quite a few mismatched couples when out in public (E.g. the female is a couple notches more attractive than the male)

2.) Work--I know they say "don't **** where you eat, but the odds are still way better than the bars/clubs and Online Dating. I don't advise dating a woman who works in the same department, but there is nothing wrong with dating a woman who works for the same company (albeit a different floor or building)

3.) Classes-A college class (if you are still in college), a continuing education class (e.g. cooking, Spanish) or gym class. You get to see the woman over and over again and you will have similar interests.

Worst

Bars/Clubs: I have been in the bar scene for 23 years and it generally does not work. You might get a hook up or one night stand and have a slim possibility of meeting a woman who is gf material. However, the odds are stacked against you since there are usually more men at these venues than females. The setting is also usually very loud and most women go there to look nice (to show off for other women) and go there to have fun (not to meet men). Women don't want to tell their friends/relatives they met the love of their life at a bar/club.

Online Dating/Speed dating/Singles Events The competition is brutal and a good chunk of the women are average and below average in looks (especially on match.com) It is not uncommon to be talking to an attractive woman online only to have her ghost you two to three messages in. Is it because you did something wrong? No, she is probably getting messages from 7 other guys at the same time and liked somebody else better.

I have not done too many singles events and accidentally showed up a couple of times at one of those "Lock and Key" events and it wasn't pretty.

I still think there is a stigma to paying a service to meet somebody.

The Gym Floor- I go to a LA Fitness. For every attractive woman out on the gym floor, there are about 5 dudes who are just as in good shape as you or better. They are also noticing the same women that you are noticing. These women will also be wearing earbuds/headphones 90% of the time)

Supermarket- I know others have said this is a decent spot, but it still seems very awkward. Let's say you are walking down the aisle and you briefly lock eyes and exchange smiles with an attractive woman. It's would be kind of awkward if you do an about face and follow her. Your only chance would be to get in the same checkout lane as her.

Running Races (5K's, etc.)--I have ran about 25 of these over the years and never had any luck other than some flirting with one woman at the starting line (never saw her again after that). Most people tend to run these races with their own clique of friends and don't socialize with anybody else.

Church- Never tried this route so maybe I shouldn't knock it. Where I live, most church goes are middle aged or seniors.

Great post! I will say at one time Match had the hottest women. granted are older, but better looking. Now, with Covid Match has done the opposite. Less decent looking women, way less even though that seems OLD in general the last two years. On all the OLD sites the quality has gone way down though.

Church depends on age. My above average looking cousin met her last boyfriend at church. She's 25 now. met him at like age 19 in the youth group stuff at the local church and he's shorter than her too. I think if you're ages 16-22 Catholic churches are good because of the youth groups and girls in them are better looking too. And her mother, my older cousin met her husband at a bar in St. Pete when she was 21. her husband isn't no chad as well, good looking man, but not a chad and still managed to pick her up at a bar cold approach despite she was way above average and he isn't a chad.

 

[corrector]

Good post.


Great post! I will say at one time Match had the hottest women. granted are older, but better looking. Now, with Covid Match has done the opposite. Less decent looking women, way less even though that seems OLD in general the last two years. On all the OLD sites the quality has gone way down though.

Church depends on age. My above average looking cousin met her last boyfriend at church. She's 25 now. met him at like age 19 in the youth group stuff at the local church and he's shorter than her too. I think if you're ages 16-22 Catholic churches are good because of the youth groups and girls in them are better looking too. And her mother, my older cousin met her husband at a bar in St. Pete when she was 21. her husband isn't no chad as well, good looking man, but not a chad and still managed to pick her up at a bar cold approach despite she was way above average and he isn't a chad.

Women meeting someone in church does not really add anything here since women dont have a problem meeting and dating guys in the first place no matter where they are at.

 

[devilkingx2]

I like this post. It's interesting and informative and makes me think.

 

[2Rocky]

I'd say your list is Spot On for LTR targets.

Your "WORST" list would be the BEST list for ONS seekers.

I was approached and just shy of propositioned at a few races. the F:M ratio is in our favor as men. But I will say Trail races are more social and intimate than big road races.

I've never tried Church either. Once in college I went to church with a slutty Barrel racer when her family came to town. Yeah she never slept with me....

 

[oc16]

I'd say your list is Spot On for LTR targets.

Your "WORST" list would be the BEST list for ONS seekers.

I was approached and just shy of propositioned at a few races. the F:M ratio is in our favor as men. But I will say Trail races are more social and intimate than big road races.

I've never tried Church either. Once in college I went to church with a slutty Barrel racer when her family came to town. Yeah she never slept with me....

Good point about LTR and ONS.

Yeah, I will look into doing more trail races

 

[SW15]

Your "WORST" list would be the BEST list for ONS seekers.

Supermarket- I know others have said this is a decent spot, but it still seems very awkward. Let's say you are walking down the aisle and you briefly lock eyes and exchange smiles with an attractive woman. It's would be kind of awkward if you do an about face and follow her. Your only chance would be to get in the same checkout lane as her.

Supermarket was a good choice for finding dates and/or LTRs before masking and the pandemic. The checkout line is actually the worst spot in a supermarket to meet a woman. You want to meet her in some aisle, ask about something in her basket, ramble, ask some questions, and see where it goes. Roosh's "Day Bang" was my guide for supermarket interactions and it worked. You have a better chance at something more meaningful at a supermarket as compared to a bar. Non-bar venues will always be better than bars/clubs for LTRs. I'll continue below.

1.) Your Social Circle---In a survey done in 2015, 39% of couples met this way. It also doesn't mean most people ended up meeting their best friend's cousin or sister and started dating. Usually, it's more tenuous than that. E.g. Years back, I met a gal who was a friend of a friend's girlfriends--friend. Tenuous, but still part of the social circle. I also think women tend to trust and feel the most comfortable around the men they meet in this setting. This would explain why you see quite a few mismatched couples when out in public (E.g. the female is a couple notches more attractive than the male)

This is so true that this is the best. Many men don't have a social circle that is capable of producing dates, so they have to rely on other methods. There are some elements to having a social circle that are out of a man's individual control. As a result, men choose other options.

If you can do approaching well, it is the best way to get pusssy. Most men are unable to do it well so by default social circle becomes the way to get pusssy. Then most men's social circles are weaker than they were in the pre-internet era, so most men are swipe and text monkeys.

2.) Work--I know they say "don't **** where you eat, but the odds are still way better than the bars/clubs and Online Dating. I don't advise dating a woman who works in the same department, but there is nothing wrong with dating a woman who works for the same company (albeit a different floor or building)

The best way to do workplace approaching is to work in a big office building with multiple companies. You proceed to hit on women in the same building but other companies.

In a larger company, you might have options within the same company with a different floor or building but in smaller companies, what I proposed above is the only way.

The pandemic has greatly impacted this as a lot of white collar work can be done at home.

Blue collar guys work with mainly other men so they typically don't have this choice. I think blue collar is a better choice for most men that white collar jobs but that's a separate discussion.

Bars/Clubs: I have been in the bar scene for 23 years and it generally does not work. You might get a hook up or one night stand and have a slim possibility of meeting a woman who is gf material. However, the odds are stacked against you since there are usually more men at these venues than females. The setting is also usually very loud and most women go there to look nice (to show off for other women) and go there to have fun (not to meet men). Women don't want to tell their friends/relatives they met the love of their life at a bar/club.

Bars are tough for a lot of reasons. 15 years ago, a man would have had a better chance getting a date from a bar. Starting in the 2010s, bars became mainly one night stand and casual sex plays. Roosh wrote in detail about this in "Game", his 2018 update to 2007's "Bang". "Game" was his last book before the big religious conversion.

Women have shorter attention spans now so that's why post 2010, the stronger play for most men in bars was to go for the same night lay.

Online Dating/Speed dating/Singles Events The competition is brutal and a good chunk of the women are average and below average in looks (especially on match.com) It is not uncommon to be talking to an attractive woman online only to have her ghost you two to three messages in. Is it because you did something wrong? No, she is probably getting messages from 7 other guys at the same time and liked somebody else better.

I have not done too many singles events and accidentally showed up a couple of times at one of those "Lock and Key" events and it wasn't pretty.

I still think there is a stigma to paying a service to meet somebody.

So bad. So many threads detail why.

The Gym Floor- I go to a LA Fitness. For every attractive woman out on the gym floor, there are about 5 dudes who are just as in good shape as you or better. They are also noticing the same women that you are noticing. These women will also be wearing earbuds/headphones 90% of the time)

The earbuds thing make gym game very difficult. There's not a lot of openness to approaching.

Fitness classes at a big box gym like LA Fitness or boutique studios are better choices for fitness pickup but even those paths are not easy.

Church- Never tried this route so maybe I shouldn't knock it. Where I live, most church goes are middle aged or seniors.

Fewer people are meeting in church. It's a difficult effort. However, if two active religion practitioners meet in church, it has a good chance of surviving. This isn't applicable for a lot of the audience here.

 

[Knight of Roses]

No mention for Strip Clubs?

I’ve relegated myself to Strip Club game exclusively. It took a long time to improve my game in that setting, but I gotta say, I have too much fun with these strippers. For the immediate time being, I’m not going back to regular job women.

 

[Willie Naylor]

No mention for Strip Clubs?

I’ve relegated myself to Strip Club game exclusively. It took a long time to improve my game in that setting, but I gotta say, I have too much fun with these strippers. For the immediate time being, I’m not going back to regular job women.

I was just about to post something about strip clubs.

I do like the 'sexy secretary' look though. More strippers should do a 'bad teacher' act.

 

[Plinco]

Some of this is backwards. If you are serious about your work, then you should never seduce a girl who works in the same company. HR departments are run by women and they will be up your arse with gossiping glee.

Supermarkets should be near the top of the list. You should add the mall.

 

[Willie Naylor]

Some of this is backwards. If you are serious about your work, then you should never seduce a girl who works in the same company. HR departments are run by women and they will be up your arse with gossiping glee.

Supermarkets should be near the top of the list. You should add the mall.

True that. Grocery stores are great.

 

[HaleyBaron]

Some of this is backwards. If you are serious about your work, then you should never seduce a girl who works in the same company. HR departments are run by women and they will be up your arse with gossiping glee.

Supermarkets should be near the top of the list. You should add the mall.

Most men and women fantasize about workplace sex.

 

[oc16]

No mention for Strip Clubs?

I’ve relegated myself to Strip Club game exclusively. It took a long time to improve my game in that setting, but I gotta say, I have too much fun with these strippers. For the immediate time being, I’m not going back to regular job women.

Any luck taking a stripper home?

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Some of this is backwards. If you are serious about your work, then you should never seduce a girl who works in the same company. HR departments are run by women and they will be up your arse with gossiping glee.

My last work romance, 2 of my immediate managers expressed concern that if it didn't work out, I would feel pressured to change to a different operation center. Another manager encouraged us to marry.

A previous workplace romance, which we both thought was secret, was well known to upper management. I was prohibited from mentoring her (which surprised both of us).

In general, my org. is tolerant of workplace romance.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I am 44, and this has been my experience

Best

1.) Your Social Circle---In a survey done in 2015, 39% of couples met this way. It also doesn't mean most people ended up meeting their best friend's cousin or sister and started dating. Usually, it's more tenuous than that. E.g. Years back, I met a gal who was a friend of a friend's girlfriends--friend. Tenuous, but still part of the social circle. I also think women tend to trust and feel the most comfortable around the men they meet in this setting. This would explain why you see quite a few mismatched couples when out in public (E.g. the female is a couple notches more attractive than the male)

Good

2.) Work--I know they say "don't **** where you eat, but the odds are still way better than the bars/clubs and Online Dating. I don't advise dating a woman who works in the same department, but there is nothing wrong with dating a woman who works for the same company (albeit a different floor or building)

Good

3.) Classes-A college class (if you are still in college), a continuing education class (e.g. cooking, Spanish) or gym class. You get to see the woman over and over again and you will have similar interests.

Good.

Worst

Bars/Clubs: I have been in the bar scene for 23 years and it generally does not work. You might get a hook up or one night stand and have a slim possibility of meeting a woman who is gf material. However, the odds are stacked against you since there are usually more men at these venues than females. The setting is also usually very loud and most women go there to look nice (to show off for other women) and go there to have fun (not to meet men). Women don't want to tell their friends/relatives they met the love of their life at a bar/club.

Can be good.

Online Dating/Speed dating/Singles Events The competition is brutal and a good chunk of the women are average and below average in looks (especially on match.com) It is not uncommon to be talking to an attractive woman online only to have her ghost you two to three messages in. Is it because you did something wrong? No, she is probably getting messages from 7 other guys at the same time and liked somebody else better.

7 guys???? My first Tinder date was being messaged by 40 guys at the time I was messaging her.

OD is fantastic.
Never did SD.
SE were OK.

I have not done too many singles events and accidentally showed up a couple of times at one of those "Lock and Key" events and it wasn't pretty.

I still think there is a stigma to paying a service to meet somebody.

The Gym Floor- I go to a LA Fitness. For every attractive woman out on the gym floor, there are about 5 dudes who are just as in good shape as you or better. They are also noticing the same women that you are noticing. These women will also be wearing earbuds/headphones 90% of the time)

Not for me.

Supermarket- I know others have said this is a decent spot, but it still seems very awkward. Let's say you are walking down the aisle and you briefly lock eyes and exchange smiles with an attractive woman. It's would be kind of awkward if you do an about face and follow her. Your only chance would be to get in the same checkout lane as her.

OK

Running Races (5K's, etc.)--I have ran about 25 of these over the years and never had any luck other than some flirting with one woman at the starting line (never saw her again after that). Most people tend to run these races with their own clique of friends and don't socialize with anybody else.



Church- Never tried this route so maybe I shouldn't knock it. Where I live, most church goes are middle aged or seniors.

OK

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Gotta heavily disagree with social circle.
1). If you don’t have one or a good one then you’re screwed. In addition, one can’t simply just acquire one, so it’s not a immediate fix to your problem.

2). You live and die by it- At the end of the day, the men and women are going to be against you if y’all were to break up. I’ve seen so many long term friendships ended by a breakup within a social circle. The girl will always have a power edge over you because of this.

3). That girl is more than likely at least hooked with all of the guys in there. You will always be the dude dating one of the exes or a girl that got drunk and ran a train through the guys one night.

4). It teaches you how to farm and defend, not hunt at attack. Yes, you might pull a hotter girl easier, but with what skill? If you don’t marry this girl then you are more than likely going to end up screwed in the long run because you never developed the proper knowledge, experience, and skill set to deal with women. Think of this like Notre Dame football, they play cupcake teams in the regular season and always get killed in the playoffs later on because they never played anyone good from the start.

5). Rose tinted glasses- this ties in to point 2, maybe this guy is miserable in this relationship and can’t do crap about it because he’s trapped. It’s easy to see a smiling couple and think they are happy. I’ve seen these couples and find out later that they aren’t even having sex because the relationship is that bad lol

 

[SW15]

I think social circle is overall the best method. @Jake_Gyllenhaal69 does raise good points about the flaws of social circle. Social circle isn't feasible for everyone.

1). If you don’t have one or a good one then you’re screwed. In addition, one can’t simply just acquire one, so it’s not a immediate fix to your problem.

This is the biggest problem with social circle. It is never an immediate fix. It is a process and often a lengthy one. A reasonable expectation might be 1-3 years. Can you go 1-3 years without sex and not sustain some degree of psychological damage? The answer is likely no.

The men I've seen who mated mainly and most effectively through their social circles were men who spent their entire childhoods in one area and stayed in that area as adults. These aren't the types of guys on SoSuave or similar forums. You might see one of these guys on Reddit. They tend to be classic beta males who had good fortune of their parents not relocating them during childhood, some decent connections in their own geographies, some social skills (they were autistic in childhood), and more likely to be inclined towards traditional marriage and family life.

2). You live and die by it- At the end of the day, the men and women are going to be against you if y’all were to break up. I’ve seen so many long term friendships ended by a breakup within a social circle. The girl will always have a power edge over you because of this.

Yes, you live by it. It controls you. Social circle is good for longer relationships. Social circles will tend to get ticked off at a guy who regularly has relationships fail. Social circles will be accomodating if a 2 year relationship or longer fails but will not look kindly a guy who changes out girlfriends every 6-18 months repeatedly. This is part of why beta males will often marry within the circle so as to not draw the circle's ire and be forced into massive amounts of swiping, messaging, or approaching of strangers.

3). That girl is more than likely at least hooked with all of the guys in there. You will always be the dude dating one of the exes or a girl that got drunk and ran a train through the guys one night.

It depends on the social circle. Not all social circles are the same. There are also many venues within social circle. A co-ed sports league can be considered a social circle. A woman in a kickball or volleyball league won't be banging every guy in the league (not possible) but it is a possible that a woman has had a failed casual sex relationship or extended relationship with 1-2 other men in the league. It could be more depending on how long she's been in the league.

In other circles that formed during elementary or high school and continued into adulthood, what @Jake_Gyllenhaal69 describes is more common than circles formed through adult co-ed sports leagues or living in the same apartment building.

4). It teaches you how to farm and defend, not hunt at attack. Yes, you might pull a hotter girl easier, but with what skill? If you don’t marry this girl then you are more than likely going to end up screwed in the long run because you never developed the proper knowledge, experience, and skill set to deal with women. Think of this like Notre Dame football, they play cupcake teams in the regular season and always get killed in the playoffs later on because they never played anyone good from the start.

5). Rose tinted glasses- this ties in to point 2, maybe this guy is miserable in this relationship and can’t do crap about it because he’s trapped. It’s easy to see a smiling couple and think they are happy. I’ve seen these couples and find out later that they aren’t even having sex because the relationship is that bad lol

Good point. For a lot of men, they don't care. If they get a 5-10 year relationship out of social circle, all they care about is that they have been getting regular sex from the interaction. Those are the rose tinted glasses so long as the sex is happening. If the relationship fails, then they can often be in a world of hurt if their social circle isn't capable of replacing that failed relationship. See Point #2 again.

 

[corrector]

The men I've seen who mated mainly and most effectively through their social circles were men who spent their entire childhoods in one area and stayed in that area as adults. These aren't the types of guys on SoSuave or similar forums. You might see one of these guys on Reddit. They tend to be classic beta males who had good fortune of their parents not relocating them during childhood, some decent connections in their own geographies, some social skills (they were autistic in childhood), and more likely to be inclined towards traditional marriage and family life.

I've stayed in the same home and area I was born and never moved so even that hasn't worked for me. I must be the most unluckiest guy on this board in that department.