Logistics of date no 2

[coyote_astro]

How do you guys go about the second date, assuming the first date went well and you are interested in a girl?

I went out on a first date with this girl from Tinder and I think it went very well. Honestly if it weren't for the bad logistics that day, I believe I could have brought her back home.
Do you invite her home (eg to cook or something)? Do you arrange to go for drinks somewhere closer to your place so that you can pull later? How long do you wait to follow up? (or do you wait for her to do so?)
I've tried a mix of all of these in the past, but just wanted to hear different ideas and opinions on this. At this point I feel I've gotten very good at arranging a first date and its logistics, but when it comes to subsequent ones I am a little more rusty. This is due to the dynamics of OLD (=many dates leading nowhere).

 

[MissouriMark]

That would really depend on how the first date ended. Was there kissing or more?

 

[coyote_astro]

You are right, that's an important detail.
In my particular situation, the date did not end with kissing (just a kiss on the cheek) because we were both on the subway and the girl had to get off 2 stops before me.
But I could clearly tell it went well and that she's interested. Honestly if she did not have dinner plans that evening I believe I could have pulled the same day, as it as going very well. But because we did not reach that point I assume I may need to 'work' on her a little more next time, before something happens.

 

[Bingo-Player]

As a rule of thumb after the first date you wait for her to contact you , (all girls know that this is their job)

i would wait maybe 3 days before suggesting another date but ensure any conversation in-between this period has a sexual element to it

Girls wont directly talk about or discuss sex with a male unless she feels certain he wont judge her or think any less of her

You have to help her come out of her shell , then she will show you what she's capable of

 

[zinc4]

As a rule of thumb after the first date you wait for her to contact you , (all girls know that this is their job)

i would wait maybe 3 days before suggesting another date but ensure any conversation in-between this period has a sexual element to it

Girls wont directly talk about or discuss sex with a male unless she feels certain he wont judge her or think any less of her

You have to help her come out of her shell , then she will show you what she's capable of

A good way to guage her interest quickly after the first date is to say let me know when you get home safely. Say this as she is getting in her uber or car or whatever at the end of the date. Say it casually like no big deal. Also you should ideally always be sharing a kiss towards the end or the end of the first date imo. If the chemistry isn't there enough for at least that then you will be fighting a slow uphill battle imo.

If she is interested she will text very soon saying she had such a great time with emojis.

If she is not then well.....you might just get a luke warm made it back okay to which i will not even reply to unless she double texts after that.

It also helps to establish a dominant frame from the very beginning and lets her know that she can choose to either follow you or not.

 

[2Rocky]

"Seed" the date at your home during the first date. Mention your balcony view, your kitchen, your cooking skill, your 100 lb Lab, the park outside your neighborhood, etc. Some of that should resonate with her and pique her interest. FWIW you can cook a lot nicer meal for less money than a restaurant date.

Also I think picking her up and driving her home are a "must".

 

[coyote_astro]

Thanks everyone for the responses.

As a rule of thumb after the first date you wait for her to contact you , (all girls know that this is their job)

i would wait maybe 3 days before suggesting another date but ensure any conversation in-between this period has a sexual element to it

Girls wont directly talk about or discuss sex with a male unless she feels certain he wont judge her or think any less of her

You have to help her come out of her shell , then she will show you what she's capable of

I was always confused about whether girls know it's their job to contact you or whether they wait for you to follow up.
So far I have not contacted her to avoid being too available. Today will be the 3rd day since the date, FYI. If she doesn't reach out by the middle of the week, I might text her to give another chance to it, as I think she seemed interested.
And I totally agree with the rest of your message, thanks.

A good way to guage her interest quickly after the first date is to say let me know when you get home safely. Say this as she is getting in her uber or car or whatever at the end of the date. Say it casually like no big deal. Also you should ideally always be sharing a kiss towards the end or the end of the first date imo. If the chemistry isn't there enough for at least that then you will be fighting a slow uphill battle imo.

If she is interested she will text very soon saying she had such a great time with emojis.

If she is not then well.....you might just get a luke warm made it back okay to which i will not even reply to unless she double texts after that.

It also helps to establish a dominant frame from the very beginning and lets her know that she can choose to either follow you or not.

You are right, that's a good one, that I unfortunately forgot to do this time...Actually this was partly because she was gonna meet with her roommates for dinner at a restaurant afterwards, so it did not cross my mind. But I could have still used it now that I think about it (with 'restaurant' instead of 'house'). Btw this is the logistical reason why I did not attempt to pull to my place even though it was going well.

 

[coyote_astro]

"Seed" the date at your home during the first date. Mention your balcony view, your kitchen, your cooking skill, your 100 lb Lab, the park outside your neighborhood, etc. Some of that should resonate with her and pique her interest. FWIW you can cook a lot nicer meal for less money than a restaurant date.

Also I think picking her up and driving her home are a "must".

Solid advice in general, thanks!
This time I could not pull to my place (see my message above), but good tactic in general.

 

[coyote_astro]

Last time we hung out 30' subway ride away from my place, downtown. If she's down to meet again, I was thinking of arranging to have a drink to a bar conveniently located in my neighborhood, so that I can then pull from there. Since there was no escalation in the first date, I feel that asking her to come directly to my place might be a bit too much for her. What do you guys think?

 

[PRW63]

How do you guys go about the second date, assuming the first date went well and you are interested in a girl?

It is no different than the first one. It is like getting the 2nd job interview.
If you are worried about it, then you are too invested.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Thanks everyone for the responses.



I was always confused about whether girls know it's their job to contact you or whether they wait for you to follow up.
So far I have not contacted her to avoid being too available. Today will be the 3rd day since the date, FYI. If she doesn't reach out by the middle of the week, I might text her to give another chance to it, as I think she seemed interested.
And I totally agree with the rest of your message, thanks.

No they know , always remember 90% of women will always be way way ahead of us in terms of social dynamics women talk a lot and have enough "unwritten rules" to fill a book

If she thinks the date went well and she is attracted to you she will usually text same night , the next day absolute latest she will want to cement herself in your mind

Dont wanna pi$$ on the parade but it looks like she pherhaps wasn't feeling it as much as you , in which case if you still want to pursue leave it a little longer before initiating and i wouldn't even mention the date , maybe make a little joke or something get conversation going again

 

[coyote_astro]

No they know , always remember 90% of women will always be way way ahead of us in terms of social dynamics women talk a lot and have enough "unwritten rules" to fill a book

If she thinks the date went well and she is attracted to you she will usually text same night , the next day absolute latest she will want to cement herself in your mind

Dont wanna pi$$ on the parade but it looks like she pherhaps wasn't feeling it as much as you , in which case if you still want to pursue leave it a little longer before initiating and i wouldn't even mention the date , maybe make a little joke or something get conversation going again

No worries mate, thanks. I agree that if she was very enthusiastic she would have texted already.
I am thinking of waiting for a couple more days and might give this another shot to see if it can lead anywhere. If I don't, there will always be this 'what if' in my mind, so I prefer to err towards the side of taking action.
Other than that it's OLD, so I always keep my expectations low.

 

[coyote_astro]

It is no different than the first one. It is like getting the 2nd job interview.
If you are worried about it, then you are too invested.

I like the interview analogy, good one!

 

[Bingo-Player]

No worries mate, thanks. I agree that if she was very enthusiastic she would have texted already.
I am thinking of waiting for a couple more days and might give this another shot to see if it can lead anywhere. If I don't, there will always be this 'what if' in my mind, so I prefer to err towards the side of taking action.
Other than that it's OLD, so I always keep my expectations low.

I am the same as men we naturally want too try and build , repair and conquer it applies to our relationships with women too

but sometimes having a low interest woman stuck in your mind can be very detrimental

I have learn't as ive gotten older to "move on" a lot faster......so many women out there honestly she ain't that special