Dating Lessons you've learnt the HARD way?

[coyote_astro]

I'm not busting your chops D.H. but those small subtle details to me are more like a ships fog horn.

Indeed. While I agree with this list and these are useful points, some of those signs do not look very subtle for me, but rather obvious I'd say.

 

[Dazzlenuts]

You need to have your **** together ie a car, your own place and have some money to keep a girl.

 

[Robert28]

You need to have your **** together ie a car, your own place and have some money to keep a girl.

Lol I have all 3 and it doesn’t help at all.

 

[Dazzlenuts]

Lol I have all 3 and it doesn’t help at all.

well in my situation if you look at my first thread, I believe she left me because I didn’t have a car and I never had any money apart from a few days of the week although I have a my own place it still wasn’t enough to keep her.

 

[lost_blackbird]

You need to have your **** together ie a car, your own place and have some money to keep a girl.

Plus column - Fully owned, mortgage free semi detached house nicely furnished, clean, tidy and well maintained,
spotlessly clean modern car, cool (also spotless) motorcycle, a nice fat savings account (6 figures) and a job. PLUS
6ft, full head of hair, deep voice, pretty easy on the eye, tattoos (like it or not girls by and large love tattoos), slim,
fit and in good general health.

Minus column - ASD level 1 and all the social awkwardness and paralysis that goes with it.

= Heading towards 3 years of celibacy and well over two years since I went on a non platonic date. That one thing
in my minus column cancels all the other good stuff out.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Let's get off the height issue for a week or so, ok?

Does being tall help? Sure it does. But so does charisma, charm, looks, money, goals, attitude, and chemistry with the woman. So height is only one of MANY factors.

In the US 14% of all men are over 6 feet (US average for a man is 5'9), so maybe 3/20. Now, of those 3 how many also have good looks, personality, money, game, charisma, etc. Some tall guys I know are geeky as hell and couldn't pull a woman if their life depended on it. Women want to date a guy who's fun and exciting, not just a tall totem pole. Ask one.

I'm 5'8 and have NEVER had a problem pulling women. Even as I got older I can and still do bang women half my age. Not to brag, it just is. I do take care of myself, have hair, $, own a business, and have personality and charisma according to some so I do have major advantages over the "tall" guys.

Ask Mike Tyson and James Bond/Daniel Craig (both 5'10) if being under 6 feet was/is such a disadvantage.

Focus on what you can control.

 

[derby1]

Lol I have all 3 and it doesn’t help at all.

Im 6 foot 2 and it doesn't make women fall over at my feet, it probably gets me a couple of extra "eye contact smiles" in the street, thats all.

 

[Dark Horse]

I'm 5'8 and have NEVER had a problem pulling women. Even as I got older I can and still do bang women half my age. Not to brag, it just is. I do take care of myself, have hair, $, own a business, and have personality and charisma according to some so I do have major advantages over the "tall" guys.

First off, you're 5 ft 8. You're not that short and any dating disadvantage that comes from your height is going to be fairly minimal. There's a huge difference between being a man who's 5 ft 8 and a man who's 5 ft 2.

Height does matter in dating, it's just that most men are tall enough to where their height isn't a major disadvantage; so that's why a lot of men get the idea that height doesn't matter. If you're a man who's 5 ft 8, even 5 ft 7, yeah you're a little short, but to be honest, you're not that short and you're still taller than the majority of women and your height isn't going to be a major handicap in the realm of dating.

Height doesn't really start negatively impacting your dating opportunities until you're well below average height. I'd say once you start getting shorter than 5 ft 5, your height is really going to start hurting your chances and it will especially hurt your chances if you have other unattractive qualities about yourself as well such as being ugly, fat, having autism, etc...


It's just a fact of life, some people get dealt a crappier hand than others (in terms of dating). But I believe that just about anybody can be successful. Some people will probably never be Don Juans and sleep with a ton of women, but that doesn't mean they can't find a long term relationship someday. Although it may take a little longer, require more effort, and maybe lowering your standards a bit.

 

[coyote_astro]

Let's get off the height issue for a week or so, ok?

Does being tall help? Sure it does. But so does charisma, charm, looks, money, goals, attitude, and chemistry with the woman. So height is only one of MANY factors.

In the US 14% of all men are over 6 feet (US average for a man is 5'9), so maybe 3/20. Now, of those 3 how many also have good looks, personality, money, game, charisma, etc. Some tall guys I know are geeky as hell and couldn't pull a woman if their life depended on it. Women want to date a guy who's fun and exciting, not just a tall totem pole. Ask one.

I'm 5'8 and have NEVER had a problem pulling women. Even as I got older I can and still do bang women half my age. Not to brag, it just is. I do take care of myself, have hair, $, own a business, and have personality and charisma according to some so I do have major advantages over the "tall" guys.

Ask Mike Tyson and James Bond/Daniel Craig (both 5'10) if being under 6 feet was/is such a disadvantage.

Focus on what you can control.

Bingo, well said!

 

[manfrombelow]

This.
She's in or she's not. If not, don't waste time on her.... too many women in the world for you to beat your head against a wall.

Exact-fvcking-ly

When it comes to attraction, a woman either likes you or she doesn't. There's nothing in between. Another lesson I've learned the hard way.

 

[manfrombelow]

I realze a lot of you guys on SS are younger (< 30) and pursuing and f*ucking girls is fun. And it is.

BUT, don't do it at the expense of the *most important* facets of your life; money, education, career, long term goals.

Women should be seen as a tasty side dish on a huge plate of food. Fun to eat but not the main course or most healthy option.

Agreed that women should be the side-dish, never the main course.

But what does it have anything to do with this thread? Isn't it an entirely different topic?

 

[joesbigship]

I thought Los Angeles would be a paradise with hot blonde beach girls everywhere you went. Instead, it was swamped with fat, short mexican chicks competing with each other to see who had the most chins and belly rolls.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Always escalate & go for the kiss(at least). If you don’t either she’ll escalate and she gets the initiative. or the date falls apart.

 

[Robert28]

Exact-fvcking-ly

When it comes to attraction, a woman either likes you or she doesn't. There's nothing in between. Another lesson I've learned the hard way.

I’ve had two girls that rejected me back in the day all of a sudden show MAJOR interest in me now. Problem is I’m no longer attracted to them like I was back in the day. They didn’t want me at their prime and I don’t want them at their decline. That’s why I’ve always said attraction can change under certain circumstances.

 

[manfrombelow]

I’ve had two girls that rejected me back in the day all of a sudden show MAJOR interest in me now. Problem is I’m no longer attracted to them like I was back in the day. They didn’t want me at their prime and I don’t want them at their decline. That’s why I’ve always said attraction can change under certain circumstances.

It's not something unusual. Normally, this is how it goes: At first impression, a girl dislike a guy for whatever reasons possible (but most likely at the time the guy has low value+level), so he should stop chasing after her because it's pointless to do so, and instead focusing on improving and upgrading his value a.k.a work on himself.

After a while, the guy now is no longer his old beta low-value version anymore. He's been upgraded, better, and accumulated more values than before.

So, right at this moment in time, he'll attract many women, including the ones that rejected him in the past.

Still, what I said still stand true. Because a girl either likes you or she doesn't AT THAT MOMENT. Yes she will likely change (due to the change in the way she perceives your value), but it doesn't mean you sit there and cross your fingers.

 

[manfrombelow]

Always escalate & go for the kiss(at least). If you don’t either she’ll escalate and she gets the initiative. or the date falls apart.

I escalated and tongue kissed a broad, but too pussified to take her to a motel or back my apartment to fvck. She ghosted me the fvcking next day. Hence "Always treat the date as if it's your LAST one".

 

[albasiero]

Also taking the advice on this site seriously.

What do you mean? You should have taken the advices from here seriusly and you didnt?

 

[BadBoy89]

Let's get off the height issue for a week or so, ok?

I'm 5'8 and have NEVER had a problem pulling women. Even as I got older I can and still do bang women half my age. Not to brag, it just is. I do take care of myself, have hair, $, own a business, and have personality and charisma according to some so I do have major advantages over the "tall" guys.

Sorry bro, height is a major major thing for hot girls. The only thing more important than height is a thick full set of hair.

Most girls would take shorter with full set of thick hair than 6’0 and bald. Pretty much anything else, they will take the height. I’ve had ALOT of hot girls say height is a major issue. Even my ex told me if she was told my height for a blind date, she would never meet me. Now I’m short, but I’m not 6’0, and I got more game and money than you can imagine.

This is my experience in the dating world.

 

[Bingo-Player]

You need to find out quickly where you rank on her list of priorities , chicks that are interested will usually match your effort

Also i just look for general compliance now , on Saturday i was in London i cold approached a 7.5 made her laugh after a few hours getting to know her we were sat down i just put my hand on her thigh maybe 2 inches from her pu$$y

she didn't flinch

Females that are interested instinctively want to submiss to their male

RE height - its important but not be all and end all most girls cant really tell the difference between 5ft10 and 6ft ..... over 6ft is well above average and similar to us wanting a HB8/9 with perfect curves and high interest

no guarantee you will ever find it

IMO if you can make her laugh you can hook her

 

[soulforge]

Let's get off the height issue for a week or so, ok?

Does being tall help? Sure it does. But so does charisma, charm, looks, money, goals, attitude, and chemistry with the woman. So height is only one of MANY factors.

In the US 14% of all men are over 6 feet (US average for a man is 5'9), so maybe 3/20. Now, of those 3 how many also have good looks, personality, money, game, charisma, etc. Some tall guys I know are geeky as hell and couldn't pull a woman if their life depended on it. Women want to date a guy who's fun and exciting, not just a tall totem pole. Ask one.

I'm 5'8 and have NEVER had a problem pulling women. Even as I got older I can and still do bang women half my age. Not to brag, it just is. I do take care of myself, have hair, $, own a business, and have personality and charisma according to some so I do have major advantages over the "tall" guys.

Ask Mike Tyson and James Bond/Daniel Craig (both 5'10) if being under 6 feet was/is such a disadvantage.

Focus on what you can control.

If you are 5ft7 or 5ft8... No problem.. Hit the gym, get jacked and muscular.. problem solved