If You're Not Good at Cold Approach After a Month, You Never Will Be

[joesbigship]

As I stated in another thread, I cannot recall seeing even a single person improve their cold approach skills appreciably. The thing is, by the time you're in your twenties, you are unlikely to improve significantly in intelligence, speaking skills, social skills or other facets of life that will impact your ability to date women.

There are certain externals that you have control over: style, grooming and to a certain extent fitness but these factors won't move the needle much unless you were grossly deficient to begin with.

The point is, cold approach is a huge waste of time for at least 80% of men at a bare minimum, and almost all of your success will be determined by your looks regardless of any other factor you invest your time in (scripts, clothing, winging, etc).

If you are new-ish to "game," invest the least amount of time with cold approach possible as the payoff is likely to be vanishingly low for the vast majority of men. It will be fun to "give it a shot," but the payoff will be grossly unequal with a small percentage reaping almost all of the rewards.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

A month of cold approaches, 3x a day, that's 90 approaches, it's not that much, most guys can expect to get minimal success at these odds, beginners need time.

This is just a short sighted post made by an individual with a short sight into game, spend some time focusing on your life, then go back to cold approaching, but talking to women is something you should always be doing, you can fall into a rut and need to swing again for a bit before you are in good form again, to suggest 30 days is enough to be in good form from a beginner point of view is just like no, need more time.

 

[Willie Naylor]

As I stated in another thread, I cannot recall seeing even a single person improve their cold approach skills appreciably. The thing is, by the time you're in your twenties, you are unlikely to improve significantly in intelligence, speaking skills, social skills or other facets of life that will impact your ability to date women.

There are certain externals that you have control over: style, grooming and to a certain extent fitness but these factors won't move the needle much unless you were grossly deficient to begin with.

The point is, cold approach is a huge waste of time for at least 80% of men at a bare minimum, and almost all of your success will be determined by your looks regardless of any other factor you invest your time in (scripts, clothing, winging, etc).

If you are new-ish to "game," invest the least amount of time with cold approach possible as the payoff is likely to be vanishingly low for the vast majority of men. It will be fun to "give it a shot," but the payoff will be grossly unequal with a small percentage reaping almost all of the rewards.

I agree with the essence of your post, because most guys sh!t their pants at the thought of talking to a pretty girl. So, many never attempt to cold approach.

 

[DisposableBenchmark]

A great proportion (who knows how much, who cares) of the male population will never be able to improve on much. Life would have been better for these unfortunate souls if they had been born in medieval france. Let the church save all the souls, game can only save those who are ready and are able to learn.

 

[SW15]

There are many men who fail at improving their cold approach skills.

Approaching strangers for sexual purposes is a difficult skill. Most men are beta males. Most men end up with some woman because they settled for whatever they could get on a swipe app or had some social circle from childhood or working at some big company and ended up with someone that way.

 

[Barrister]

This is not even remotely true. No one is going to argue that looks are important, but the idea that 1 month of approaching is the barometer for determining whether you are good at it is patently false.

I would say I’m a good looking guy. I can also say I was not good at cold approach until I hit my 30s. The thing about cold approach is that it takes confidence. There are endless elements that go into being confident with women- looks are only one of them. But being confident, outgoing/charming, and interesting are all very important. It doesn’t matter how many approaches you do or for how long. It may take years. The key is to keep doing it to gain confidence. You have nothing to lose. But the implication you should give up if you have no success after a month is ridiculous and does no one here any favors.

 

[Zimbabwe]

I've noticed most guys who are in PUA groups that partake in cold approach are on the spectrum. They constantly spam approach with absolutely zero calibration.

This is why they dont get better, it's a very good idea to go out with a wing who can critique your approaches

 

[Willie Naylor]

I've noticed most guys who are in PUA groups that partake in cold approach are on the spectrum. They constantly spam approach with absolutely zero calibration.

This is why they dont get better, it's a very good idea to go out with a wing who can critique your approaches

I say all the time, PUAs are insecure dorks who use canned routines as a defense mechanism. They know that women can see right through them, so they pretend to be something they're not.

They don't care though. Pvssy is all they care about.

One of my good friends is a PUA type. We can't go out to have a beer without him turning our conversation into something about girls. It's getting stale.

 

[Ladykiler]

A month of cold approaches, 3x a day, that's 90 approaches, it's not that much, most guys can expect to get minimal success at these odds, beginners need time.

This is just a short sighted post made by an individual with a short sight into game, spend some time focusing on your life, then go back to cold approaching, but talking to women is something you should always be doing, you can fall into a rut and need to swing again for a bit before you are in good form again, to suggest 30 days is enough to be in good form from a beginner point of view is just like no, need more time.

depends on the person

im rusty as **** due to personal reasons but im quitting weed im missing essential steps

This is not even remotely true. No one is going to argue that looks are important, but the idea that 1 month of approaching is the barometer for determining whether you are good at it is patently false.

I would say I’m a good looking guy. I can also say I was not good at cold approach until I hit my 30s. The thing about cold approach is that it takes confidence. There are endless elements that go into being confident with women- looks are only one of them. But being confident, outgoing/charming, and interesting are all very important. It doesn’t matter how many approaches you do or for how long. It may take years. The key is to keep doing it to gain confidence. You have nothing to lose. But the implication you should give up if you have no success after a month is ridiculous and does no one here any favors.

you should've started earlier where im from men are taught to speak to women at early ages
or your seen as a weirdo or homosexual

I got decent at cold approach walking the malls for 4 to 8 hours as teen

early 20s I was brilliant

 

[SW15]

I got decent at cold approach walking the malls for 4 to 8 hours as teen

4-8 hours per day? I've done mall approaching sessions in my life. After 1-2 hours, it is tiring.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

depends on the person

im rusty as **** due to personal reasons but im quitting weed im missing essential steps






you should've started earlier where im from men are taught to speak to women at early ages
or your seen as a weirdo or homosexual

I got decent at cold approach walking the malls for 4 to 8 hours as teen

early 20s I was brilliant

Im exactly the same way if I'm high all the time I withdraw but if I'm not then I can have some fun with it

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

4-8 hours per day? I've done mall approaching sessions in my life. After 1-2 hours, it is tiring.

3 a day is a decent goal, even 2 hours is a lot for me

 

[SW15]

3 a day is a decent goal, even 2 hours is a lot for me

2 hours in the mall is a lot. I've done 2-3 hour pickup sessions on outdoor walking paths before.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

2 hours in the mall is a lot. I've done 2-3 hour pickup sessions on outdoor walking paths before.

Yeah true enough I spent about 4 hours one day just running around bus routes talking to women waiting for transit, highly recommend it by the way

 

[Mike32ct]

I think the PUA gets better at TARGET SELECTION over time.

Looks and “skill” aside, I think the experienced PUA develops a better “gut instinct” as to what types of chicks are most likely to be receptive to him. Then, he has to do less and less approaches in order to score.

His skill and confidence probably do go up, but those aren’t the dominant factors. He just develops a stronger sense of which women are DTF and are potentially attracted to his looks/type.

 

[Zimbabwe]

I say all the time, PUAs are insecure dorks who use canned routines as a defense mechanism. They know that women can see right through them, so they pretend to be something they're not.

They don't care though. Pvssy is all they care about.

One of my good friends is a PUA type. We can't go out to have a beer without him turning our conversation into something about girls. It's getting stale.

A balance is definitely what they should strive for, lot of these PUA types spend all their free time approaching women. It eventually leads to burn out because no sane person can do the same thing everyday for years.

I got decent at cold approach walking the malls for 4 to 8 hours as teen

How can you do 4+ hours a day? It seems you like you went straight for pure volume over everything else.

Looks and “skill” aside, I think the experienced PUA develops a better “gut instinct” as to what types of chicks are most likely to be receptive to him. Then, he has to do less and less approaches in order to score.

That's the point, you are supposed to calibrate your game to continue improving. It's much more efficient to spend more time with women who give you clear IOIs instead of spam approaching 2 dozen sets an hour.

 

[SW15]

Yeah true enough I spent about 4 hours one day just running around bus routes talking to women waiting for transit, highly recommend it by the way

Never tried that.

I think the PUA gets better at TARGET SELECTION over time.

Looks and “skill” aside, I think the experienced PUA develops a better “gut instinct” as to what types of chicks are most likely to be receptive to him. Then, he has to do less and less approaches in order to score.

His skill and confidence probably do go up, but those aren’t the dominant factors. He just develops a stronger sense of which women are DTF and are potentially attracted to his looks/type.

This argument makes sense to me. There are plenty of times where not doing an approach makes sense. I'd rather do no approach than an approach with a high likelihood of failure.

 

[joesbigship]

Ironically it's the guys who approach the most who are least likely to improve...

 

[Velasco]

That's the point, you are supposed to calibrate your game to continue improving. It's much more efficient to spend more time with women who give you clear IOIs instead of spam approaching 2 dozen sets an hour.

There is no "calibrate your game to continue improving" or girls giving you "clear IOIs" (that doesn't require gut instincts, Mike is talking about). Before you approach, you know which girls will very likely be dtf. If she is (you will know for sure, now), then it's just a matter of gradually building up that sexual tension to the point where she's ready to go. That's it.

 

[characternote]

I think the PUA gets better at TARGET SELECTION over time.

Looks and “skill” aside, I think the experienced PUA develops a better “gut instinct” as to what types of chicks are most likely to be receptive to him. Then, he has to do less and less approaches in order to score.

His skill and confidence probably do go up, but those aren’t the dominant factors. He just develops a stronger sense of which women are DTF and are potentially attracted to his looks/type.

Pretty much this.

It's not as if there's some super jedi 'level' where one can basically 'seduce' whoever he wants. The difference in actual results between a good 'PUA' who knows all the PUA theory and is a 'normal' dude, VS just a regular normal, socialised dude who has never read a PUA book but decides to try cold approach, is fairly marginal considering they look the same. It's a game of finding which girls like you, and then escalating the interaction in a non aspie way. It really isn't difficult, tbh.

I think that's why you often see people on the seduction sub on reddit basically say 'game is really only gonna drastically help the people who have serious social issues and literally need to read books in order to realise that it's good to hold eye contact with a girl etc'

Again. It's about finding the girls who are into you (the attracted ones. So get better at spotting IOI's etc) and then leading the interaction too sex - and I think people give themselves way too much credit for this. The most important element was largely out of their control