Caring is alpha

[Plinco]

Caring is alpha.

OP wrote a good idea on this. It transcends worry about social position and sex.

Most of SS topics are something to do with men trying to internally and or externally manage females.

This idea or "mindset" is becoming free but also with discernment.

First of all, I appreciate you answering my question.

I think I know what OP is saying, but I understand it in a very different way and I would word it differently.

"I am one with my abilities and I enjoy my surroundings."

My problem with almost everyone in this thread is that they are getting this emotional revelation from a mystical notion. I have trained my thought process to ground everything I think in reason, so my thoughts and ideas follow suit.

What frustrated me in this thread, besides trying to understand the concept logically, was that many people had a preference for the irrational over the rational.

 

[darksprezzatura]

Motivation behind this post

I wrote this post by observing many of my male friends who seem to have success with women naturally.

They are genuinely good people and not like the manipulative degenerates who sacrifice integrity for sex.

The one thing I admire in all my pals is that they actually care about their environment, people and animals instead of faking a pretense to impress women.

As a result they are usually talented, have an interesting life, friendly, approachable and take care of themselves.

I genuinely believe having a warm goodness in our hearts towards people around us, while acknowledging that we should protect ourselves too is a good way to lead social interactions.

 

[darksprezzatura]

It might sound clichéd but what I'm saying is,

maybe you've been wronged, maybe you've had difficult relationships and dealt with tough aftermaths,

don't let that close you off from caring about and trusting good people.

Have the courage to be vulnerable and trust yourself that you can handle anything if ever things go south.

 

[Plinco]

Course we do, never said or suggested otherwise.

The man I mentioned in my first post had an extremely interesting "world" but it was when he opened up and displayed vulnerability that I fell in love with him.

Emotions emotions emotions

 

[Plinco]

Exactly. Want to rock HER world, tap into her emotions, stir them up a little. Be genuine when you do.

Even so suave's resident 100% red-pilled PUA with a 1000+ lay count preaches about this.

... and they call that having game!

 

[BadBoy89]

Totally agree. I recall being quite smitten with a man, he let his guard down for a moment and displayed vulnerability and I swear to God I fell in love with him THAT night!

Guys listen to this there is so much truth to it.

I did that too and the girl fell in love with me right there.

Then she met a hotter, sexier, taller guy, and she used my vulnerabilities to get money from me to pay his rent. His good genetics destroyed my vulnerabilities.

Rock on!

 

[metalwater]

I did that too and the girl fell in love with me right there.

Then she met a hotter, sexier, taller guy, and she used my vulnerabilities to get money from me to pay his rent. His good genetics destroyed my vulnerabilities.

Rock on!

red pill 101. keep vulnerabilities to yourself. that feeling of love she gets goes together with a reduction of admiration.

no one is more attractive by showing vulnerability, telling that is a lie and a very slippery slope. one of the most difficult lessons is to keep internal demons internal because while she might care like she would for a child that is not what you want long term. as soon as she does this, the attraction channel is open again for another. she doesn't even know it, so all women will tell you to do this. don't do it.

 

[2Rocky]

Have the courage to be vulnerable and trust yourself that you can handle anything if ever things go south.

I think this is why I was able to come back strong after my divorce. I came to the realization I was never going to be as invested in someone as I was in my marriage and "$hit you can't hurt me THAT bad, let's have some fun!"

 

[Zimbabwe]

There's no universal definition of an Alpha Male, for some it's a strong guy for others it's a Master PUA.

 

[Atom Smasher]

No, a leader is not a servant. That’s a contradiction in terms. You guys need to stop using the term “alpha” as a substitute for every good quality (and “beta” as a substitute for everything bad). That’s not what the alpha-beta dichotomy is about. Beta males can have positive qualities, and alpha males can have negative qualities. It’s called being human.

The term “alpha male” comes from the animal kingdom. It describes a dominant male with a propensity to respond to challengers with extreme violence. How anyone can equate that with “caring” is beyond me.

It is all “beyond you” because you are not, and cannot be a true leader.

We all know that the term “Alpha” is a code word for “a dominant man who has his sh!t together” and that there is no true analogue in the animal kingdom. This common knowledge is decades old.

A leader who is secure in his leadership (meaning he will face few if any challenges to it) is most certainly a servant. A secure leader is granted leadership by those whom he leads. Secure leadership is never seized; rather, it is granted. The secure leader understands the art and science of influence, and the people he leads willingly and gladly submit to him precisely because he is perceived as taking care of them.

You, my friend, have just been given the key to becoming a leader, but you will likely refuse to accept it due to your own ego. 100% in virtually any given situation, if you and I were engaged in a competitive bid for leadership, I would come out ahead (assuming I had the interest) precisely because the people in the group would recognize me as a servant/leader.

I perceive that you mistake servanthood as weakness. The leader serves the group in an overarching beneficent sense, while the group individuals serve the leader in a more granular, personal and day-by-day sense. There is mutual benefit and those being led, whether thousands or just one, live in contentment and with a sense of safety and security.

 

[Willie Naylor]

A lot of people here have meaningless debates about things that don't really matter in our day to day lives.

Who gives a f*ck where the term 'Alpha' originated?

 

[HaleyBaron]

Too much overanalyzing.

 

[Bokanovsky]

It is all “beyond you” because you are not, and cannot be a true leader.

We all know that the term “Alpha” is a code word for “a dominant man who has his sh!t together” and that there is no true analogue in the animal kingdom. This common knowledge is decades old.

A leader who is secure in his leadership (meaning he will face few if any challenges to it) is most certainly a servant. A secure leader is granted leadership by those whom he leads. Secure leadership is never seized; rather, it is granted. The secure leader understands the art and science of influence, and the people he leads willingly and gladly submit to him precisely because he is perceived as taking care of them.

You, my friend, have just been given the key to becoming a leader, but you will likely refuse to accept it due to your own ego. 100% in virtually any given situation, if you and I were engaged in a competitive bid for leadership, I would come out ahead (assuming I had the interest) precisely because the people in the group would recognize me as a servant/leader.

I perceive that you mistake servanthood as weakness. The leader serves the group in an overarching beneficent sense, while the group individuals serve the leader in a more granular, personal and day-by-day sense. There is mutual benefit and those being led, whether thousands or just one, live in contentment and with a sense of safety and security.

“A dominant man who has his sh!t together”? By that definition, Zuckerberg and Bezos are alpha males. And yet, neither of them is good with women (a prerequisite for being an "alpha" based on the way the term is used on this forum). Those guys are billionaires and yet they date women that most people here wouldn't touch with someone else's nine foot pole. This is why "alpha" and "beta" are unhelpful concepts. They are too black and white.

As for a leader being a servant, perhaps you guys speak some form of English that I'm not familiar with. A servant is literally someone who serves a master. To be a servant is to be servile (in other words, to be submissive). And submissiveness is the polar opposite of leadership. Leaders lead by example, create solutions, and inspire others. Servants sit back obediently and do as they are told without questioning their masters.

Taking care of someone is not the same thing as serving them. Parens don't serve their children. Doctors don't serve their patients. Managers don't serve their subordinates. "Serving" is when a waiter brings you a plate and asks if you'd like some salt and pepper.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Three stages:

- Naive
- Jerk
- Wise

The naive guy pretends to care about women he wants to have sex with, or for as long as he got a shot.

The jerk pretends to not care for anyone, while caring all the more about the pretense.

The wise actually cares for his tribe, takes initiative to solve their problems, and does this for the health of the tribe.

I seem to have transitioned from nice to the jerk, but now I want to progress to wise.

Nobody really cares about anyone unconditionally.

Maybe the best case condition would be that the people we care about, should care about us.

This leads to the vulnerability dilemma that one person must first take a small step and let the other person have the opportunity to show that they care back.

Calibrated caring if you will.

Being curious about someone. Understanding their dreams and hopes and future. Understanding their strengths and weaknesses.

Not with the intention of sex, this is irrespective of the other person being a male or a female.


P.S. I cold approached one cute girl today, had a quick conversation and some giggles, but she wasnt interested in giving me her number. Apart from that, oddly 3-4 girls approached me. Good weekend.

As @2Rocky stated, vulnerability is not a weakness. Society has placed constructs that make it appear so when in reality vulnerability is a strength. Or should come from a place of complete and utter strength, love for yourself, kindness towards yourself, confidence, etc, etc.

Having said that, I believe you are right, moving to the "wise phase" is the ultimate goal. I do think it is a complex phase, it involves a sense of un****withability, kindness and caring towards others that radiates within yourself first.

The ultimate man, in my eyes lives a live aligned with his purpose. Untouched by societal constructs and outside negative influences. A man that simply gives as there is much abundance within himself to run out of. A man in touch with his humanity with the goal to see the world as a tribe. I can be wrong, but that is my vision.

Hope this helps.

Modern Man Advice

 

[BeExcellent]

On leadership:

Great leaders are in fact servants. I realize some here do not have English as a first language and thusly may not understand the connotations of the word servant in a Judeo-Christian cultural context…but to lead well is to serve those who have entrusted you as leader. There is a contract to lead well, to take into account the best interest of the people being led, and a responsibility and accountability to the people being led.

Stewardship may be a better definition. To be a steward is to be entrusted with a responsibility to act in a way that honors and values (and intends to improve often) something. Parents are stewards of their children, financial managers are stewards of other people’s money (fiduciary responsibility arises out of the concept of good stewardship), the church is intended to be a good steward of its members, etc.

In all the above examples serving is the intent. The master is the best interest of the group being served. Many hold that the master is God truly, or some other divine thing or being or ideal.

No man is strictly a servant in a master & slave type dynamic. And any leader who leads by fear and oppression is feared and not loved. He does not inspire loyalty and he sows mistrust wherever he goes because he forces compliance rather than inspires it.

If you do not understand the concept that leaders are servants then you fo not grasp the most basic leadership skills. Anyone can be powerful or become a tyrant given enough power & money. Great leaders remember to serve those they lead. Whether it be a wife, an office or a nation.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Great leaders are in fact servants. I realize some here do not have English as a first language and thusly may not understand the connotations of the word servant in a Judeo-Christian cultural context…but to lead well is to serve those who have entrusted you as leader. There is a contract to lead well, to take into account the best interest of the people being led, and a responsibility and accountability to the people being led.

First of all, the "Judeo-Christian cultural context" is not unique to America or the English-speaking countries. If you google "Judea", you may be surprised to learn that it's not one of the fifty states. Second, we are not talking about service in a religious sense. The word "servant" has a very clear definition in the English language: "one that performs duties about the person or home of a master or personal employer" (Merriam-Webster). Nothing to do with leadership.

Great leaders remember to serve those they lead. Whether it be a wife, an office or a nation.

LMAO. If "serving" one's wife is considered great leadership, we've got a world full of blue-pilled "great leaders". Thanks but no thanks.

 

[BeExcellent]

(Shrugs shoulders). Judeo-Christian does not mean USA. What a silly thing to toss out. Anyone with much cultural awareness knows that Judea is historically in territory in and around modern day Israel and that historically Israel is a relatively new country but an ancient people and the seat of the Jews and the Torah and all that. Just as Babylon was somewhere along the Tigris/Euphrates.

Masters do not have mastery in a vacuum. It is given willingly by those who submit and accept leadership or it is taken and enforced by force and fear. You exhibit a narrow minded view that demonstrates either a lack of understanding in a social context or you are being obtuse for the sake of arguing.

Anywhere in the world leaders must serve those who they lead. If they do not serve they will be removed from the leadership position. Read any history book. Read about the Bolesheviks in Russia, about Ivan the Terrible, about Bismarck. Leaders serve. They influence and they are aware of the social contract by which they are bound. If they fail to serve, they fall. In micro or macro situations.

 

[Billtx49]

First of all, the "Judeo-Christian cultural context" is not unique to America or the English-speaking countries. If you google "Judea", you may be surprised to learn that it's not one of the fifty states. Second, we are not talking about service in a religious sense. The word "servant" has a very clear definition in the English language: "one that performs duties about the person or home of a master or personal employer" (Merriam-Webster). Nothing to do with leadership.

LMAO. If "serving" one's wife is considered great leadership, we've got a world full of blue-pilled "great leaders". Thanks but no thanks.

The leader Always cares about who he leads, in that respect he becomes a servant by caring for them and their well being. In other terminology his mindset is GAF …
A prime example is the military. A command position gives orders that troops follow, but that’s Not leadership. Caring about the troops enough to keep them alive and serving them with the best utilization of his personally known conflict intelligence is leading to win. Once troops realize that’s their leaders mindset, they are behind him all the way and their performance, effort, and morale escalates to the best you can get. As troops serve their commander, he in turn should lead by serving them…

1. a person in the service of another.
2. a person employed by the government: a public servant.

 

[metalwater]

benevolent leadership is not as sexually attractive as is brutal domination. this is a hard fact, and one of the most difficult things to accept. the brutal generates thousands of times more feelings and intrigue. very often the brutal can and does steal from the benevolent. the core of greed is the magnet. just because I don't like that doesn't make it any less true.

that's why we have so many issues with the word alpha. we know what we want it to mean, and then try to rationalize sexual attraction and how it fits.

some exceptions probably exist, but the rule is women are attracted to brutal domination, not necessarily to them but if the man treats other men that way. eventually one or some men will deal with that one, but until then it works.

 

[Grounded eagle]

Three stages:

- Naive
- Jerk
- Wise

The naive guy pretends to care about women he wants to have sex with, or for as long as he got a shot.

The jerk pretends to not care for anyone, while caring all the more about the pretense.

The wise actually cares for his tribe, takes initiative to solve their problems, and does this for the health of the tribe.

I seem to have transitioned from nice to the jerk, but now I want to progress to wise.

Nobody really cares about anyone unconditionally.

Maybe the best case condition would be that the people we care about, should care about us.

This leads to the vulnerability dilemma that one person must first take a small step and let the other person have the opportunity to show that they care back.

Calibrated caring if you will.

Being curious about someone. Understanding their dreams and hopes and future. Understanding their strengths and weaknesses.

Not with the intention of sex, this is irrespective of the other person being a male or a female.


P.S. I cold approached one cute girl today, had a quick conversation and some giggles, but she wasnt interested in giving me her number. Apart from that, oddly 3-4 girls approached me. Good weekend.

True story. I wouldn’t even say it’s alpha,I’d say it’s normal to care,and dumb to pretend not to.The trick is self control,don’t let it drive you into doing stupid things.Beta things.