Friend in trouble

[BJP1991]

So one of my best mates has a problem.

His GF of 2 years cheated on him about 5 months back. Poor guy, I personally never saw it coming but oh well.

Today he calls me on my lunch break. He found out she’s dating some new guy and he tells me he feels like messaging this dude on IG outing her as a cheater and a liar. He also goes on to say he feels like contacting her out of rage and anger. I tell him he needs to take the high road and never contact her.

I feel really awful for the guy. I know it’s wrong to contact him or her. But I could imagine why he would want to.

Heading to see him for a beer later on and chill for a bit. Any advice?

 

[Willie Naylor]

I know you're friends, but don't get involved more than you already are.

You gave him your advice to never contact her. So, that's it. Your part is done.

After 5 months, he should be just about healed from the breakup. Since it sounds like he's not...it's on him now.

 

[Barrister]

So one of my best mates has a problem.

His GF of 2 years cheated on him about 5 months back. Poor guy, I personally never saw it coming but oh well.

Today he calls me on my lunch break. He found out she’s dating some new guy and he tells me he feels like messaging this dude on IG outing her as a cheater and a liar. He also goes on to say he feels like contacting her out of rage and anger. I tell him he needs to take the high road and never contact her.

I feel really awful for the guy. I know it’s wrong to contact him or her. But I could imagine why he would want to.

Heading to see him for a beer later on and chill for a bit. Any advice?

Hopefully you advised him that contacting the guy and saying this will only make him look like a butthurt loser and will do nothing to change the guy's opinion of his ex. It will only affect how people view your friend -- and negatively at that.

Regardless, I wouldn't bring it up any further to him. He is going to do what he is going to do. If you do anything further for him - maybe direct him to this site. Sounds like he needs the red pill.

 

[Plinco]

So one of my best mates has a problem.

His GF of 2 years cheated on him about 5 months back. Poor guy, I personally never saw it coming but oh well.

Today he calls me on my lunch break. He found out she’s dating some new guy and he tells me he feels like messaging this dude on IG outing her as a cheater and a liar. He also goes on to say he feels like contacting her out of rage and anger. I tell him he needs to take the high road and never contact her.

I feel really awful for the guy. I know it’s wrong to contact him or her. But I could imagine why he would want to.

Heading to see him for a beer later on and chill for a bit. Any advice?

Tell him that he needs to see other women

 

[derby1]

she has morphed him into the feminine and her the masculine, shes out with new plates whilst hes sucking his thumb watching the titanic

 

[BJP1991]

Thanks, I was actually going to recommend he checks the site out.

I feel bad for the guy - he didn’t deserve to go through that and while I know he’s dating a new girl (I’ve met her), he clearly still hasn’t healed.

Does anyone have experience lashing out at a cheating ex? I personally do not so I don’t know what it’s like or what he is going through personally

 

[Barrister]

Thanks, I was actually going to recommend he checks the site out.

I feel bad for the guy - he didn’t deserve to go through that and while I know he’s dating a new girl (I’ve met her), he clearly still hasn’t healed.

Does anyone have experience lashing out at a cheating ex? I personally do not so I don’t know what it’s like or what he is going through personally

Personally? No. But I have had friends that have done it. No one really cares. The woman will just tell people that they were on a break at the time and the man "didn't understand her" and she "deserved to be happy." Everyone will accept this. And the man lashing out will be seen as confirmation of what the woman said. It is a lose-lose situation for the man, unfortunately, but they are always better off moving on.

 

[BJP1991]

His reasoning for wanting to contact her was “to remind her of who she actually is”, which I assume means to remind her she is a liar and a cheater.

 

[Willie Naylor]

His reasoning for wanting to contact her was “to remind her of who she actually is”, which I assume means to remind her she is a liar and a cheater.

Yeah, but let's call it what it really is. Your boy wants this chick back, otherwise he wouldn't want to reach out to her.

He should never want her back, but at any rate, the only way to get a girl back is through Silence and Distance.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

So one of my best mates has a problem.

His GF of 2 years cheated on him about 5 months back. Poor guy, I personally never saw it coming but oh well.

Today he calls me on my lunch break. He found out she’s dating some new guy and he tells me he feels like messaging this dude on IG outing her as a cheater and a liar. He also goes on to say he feels like contacting her out of rage and anger. I tell him he needs to take the high road and never contact her.

I feel really awful for the guy. I know it’s wrong to contact him or her. But I could imagine why he would want to.

Heading to see him for a beer later on and chill for a bit. Any advice?

Tell him he's better than that. And if he doesn't believe that himself, then there is nothing you can do for him.

I guess as a friend all you can do is lend an ear. But contacting the new guy, and especially her, is simply degrading and makes things worse.

Remember, some people just need to touch fire to learn that it burns/hurts.

Side note: Feeling bad for him is not the right approach. So don't. Maybe make bro plans with him, go climbing or something instead of drinking over a floozy.


Modern Man Advice

 

[BJP1991]

Well, despite my recommendation he still managed to message her before him and I even got a chance to meet up yesterday after work. I’m kinda grossed out actually by what he did - pretty weak move. But I’m still his friend no matter what.

He showed me a screenshot. He simply said to her in an email “This is just a casual reminder of what and who you actually are.” He then blocked her email and promised me he blocked her everywhere else, which I do believe to be true but who knows

I know it’s not my problem, but I also don’t want to see a friend regress further and further as he did.

I guess he coulda said a lot worse, but he got what he wanted I guess.

 

[Bingo-Player]

His reasoning for wanting to contact her was “to remind her of who she actually is”, which I assume means to remind her she is a liar and a cheater.

She will already be aware of this , by him contacting her blowing his lid all it does is give her a cope and allows her to think

" oh look at the way he's speaking to me, he's a nasty guy i am better off without him"

Ive been through this myself silence can and will say more than any abuse can


As far as contacting the other guy that is really ridiculous and feminine , he wont care anyway he's balls deep in new pu$$y why would he

 

[FenixRising]

Non-attachment and indifference are a blessing. Hopefully he got what he needed too off his chest... now he can rechannel his energy into moving towards a future without her.

I agree with Modern Man advice, do bro things because his emotions have been leading him to do this stuff. It's unattractive asf.

 

[Dash Riprock]

It's ALWAYS a bad idea to contact an ex when she starts dating other people. It's her right, and he looks really weak getting all butt hurt.

The best revenge on an ex is to:

1) do nothing; no reaction, no messages, no hanging out (which is SO f*cking lame), like she's a pimple on your ass - annoying but no big deal.
2) date women, get in shape, do fun stuff, etc. Post it on social media. Living your best life and upgrading in all areas while using IDGAF is *always* the best revenge and mechanism for your growth.
3) NEVER take her back if it was a cheating situation. Why bring the garbage back in the house? Go full NC.

Send your buddy to SS and we'll try to help.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

So one of my best mates has a problem.

His GF of 2 years cheated on him about 5 months back. Poor guy, I personally never saw it coming but oh well.

Today he calls me on my lunch break. He found out she’s dating some new guy and he tells me he feels like messaging this dude on IG outing her as a cheater and a liar. He also goes on to say he feels like contacting her out of rage and anger. I tell him he needs to take the high road and never contact her.

I feel really awful for the guy. I know it’s wrong to contact him or her. But I could imagine why he would want to.

Heading to see him for a beer later on and chill for a bit. Any advice?

Its "easy". He needs to immediately cut all ties with her and end the relationship. No more messages not, change the keys on his door if she has access to his flat etc. No more BS and move on with his life.
He should not contract that dude, it will only lead to misery.

And yeah like some of the guys says here; tell him to acquire the Rational male book by Rollo Tomassi and read it.

 

[RickTheToad]

So one of my best mates has a problem.

His GF of 2 years cheated on him about 5 months back. Poor guy, I personally never saw it coming but oh well.

Today he calls me on my lunch break. He found out she’s dating some new guy and he tells me he feels like messaging this dude on IG outing her as a cheater and a liar. He also goes on to say he feels like contacting her out of rage and anger. I tell him he needs to take the high road and never contact her.

I feel really awful for the guy. I know it’s wrong to contact him or her. But I could imagine why he would want to.

Heading to see him for a beer later on and chill for a bit. Any advice?

He should had walked away 5 months ago and forgot her name. Nothing to see here. Tell him to go and find a few females to have sex with and it will be out of his system. Remember, she's not yours (or his), it's just your (or his) turn.

 

[derby1]

Does anyone have experience lashing out at a cheating ex? I personally do not so I don’t know what it’s like or what he is going through personally

I did it years ago when I was blue pill, it seems logical to a male "get the final word in big macho man, give her a piece of your mind!!"

where as in reality it portrayed me as a desperate low value beta male, and communicates shes all Id been thinking about the for last 6 months...

I did all the public SM/meme posts hoping she was stalking my page, christ it was so beta male its unreal, she was the one with the 8" dck not me.

any kind of text or even meaningless plutonic contact, confirms the male still wants her, its like 12" to her mind.

A true pimp would look straight through her in the street, and never reply/block

 

[Grounded eagle]

So one of my best mates has a problem.

His GF of 2 years cheated on him about 5 months back. Poor guy, I personally never saw it coming but oh well.

Today he calls me on my lunch break. He found out she’s dating some new guy and he tells me he feels like messaging this dude on IG outing her as a cheater and a liar. He also goes on to say he feels like contacting her out of rage and anger. I tell him he needs to take the high road and never contact her.

I feel really awful for the guy. I know it’s wrong to contact him or her. But I could imagine why he would want to.

Heading to see him for a beer later on and chill for a bit. Any advice?

Stick with what you already believed was the right thing to do.Best course of action with the best outcomes for him.He may not see it now but he will definitely see it later.

 

[Grounded eagle]

Well, despite my recommendation he still managed to message her before him and I even got a chance to meet up yesterday after work. I’m kinda grossed out actually by what he did - pretty weak move. But I’m still his friend no matter what.

He showed me a screenshot. He simply said to her in an email “This is just a casual reminder of what and who you actually are.” He then blocked her email and promised me he blocked her everywhere else, which I do believe to be true but who knows

I know it’s not my problem, but I also don’t want to see a friend regress further and further as he did.

I guess he coulda said a lot worse, but he got what he wanted I guess.

Oh well,could have been worse.

 

[Macadellic]

I’ll piggyback on what others have posted about RedPill literature.

This is what I would do if he was my friend.

I would hand him the following books and say, “Read all these books in the following order, it will be your therapy.”

The Rational Male volume 1
The Rational Male - Preventive Medicine
The Rational Male - Positive Masculinity
The Unplugged Alpha by Richard Cooper

With the books now in his hands I would tell him, “If you want more books after you read those let me know.”

And I understand that you can lead a horse to the water but you can’t make him drink.